VIDEO: Orange Is the New Black’s Season 3 Trailer Is Everything You Need And More

Remember a couple of weeks ago when Riese blessed us with a round-up of 19 things we know about the new season of Orange Is the New Black? Well, now that list is up to 100 because, y’all, Netflix just dropped the Orange Is the New Black season three trailer and it is like manna from the heavens. You thought you missed the show, right? You really did. But you have no idea just how much you missed it. Watch and see:


Okay, and so:

+ Who is that new queer gal with the alternative lifestyle haircut getting her flirt on with Piper?

+ Big Boo’s makeover.

+ Are Flaca and Maritza gonna hook up?! (again?)

+ “You know, the hot one’s back. The Bettie Page of Litchfield.”

+ Gloria and Sophia are arch-enemies now? Why? No!

+ But Big Boo and Pennsatucky are best friends? Lesbian request accepted, I guess!

+ Taystee and Suzanne! :(

+ Apparently Alex is is as mad at Lori Petty as the rest of America because of how Dottie dropped that ball for Kit at the end of A League of Their Own.

+ “It’s not just sex. It’s love. It’s two people connecting … with four other people … and aliens.”


 

Tell me your feelings about this trailer! Share with me your fears!

Season three lands on Netflix on June 12.

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior writer who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 943 articles for us.

64 Comments

  1. Okay so
    Ruby Rose is high up there on my list of Beautiful Beings That I Love, Adore, And Envy The Looks Of and I am SO EXCITED about her being in the show.
    At the same time, the seemingly unavoidable disintegration of VauseMan (which she is partially to blame for) is very sad indeed. I hope the writers manage to do it in a way that doesn’tassivley affect the show etc etc.
    Also: why is Ruby’s characted Stella going for Piper/Alex when Poussey is around? P’s still all heartbroken over Taystee at this stage and can we talk about how beautiful a couple Poustella/Samiruby would be???!!!!

  2. a friend of mine on facebook linked to the buzzfeed post with this trailer, and I was like, no, no, I should wait and see if it’s on autostraddle. but it wasn’t yet, and I’m weak, so I clicked through to buzzfeed. SUCH REGRET. those assholes called suzanne “crazy eyes.”

    anyway, the point is, autostraddle forever. this post is nine million times better.

  3. Frankly, i am nervous about season 3. Seeing only a brief shot of Laverne Cox’s character being threatened is upsetting. It feels like the producers are saying, come watch a trans woman get murdered. I expect more trans awareness from Orange Is the New Black. I will be disappointed if season 3 turns out to be another cis-centric season with a token trans woman.

    • I hope they bring some major trans awareness too, and they should introduce other trans characters if possible, and if anything happens to Sophia I’ll be super sad. But I just want to point out that like, every single character gets threatened with murder in this show. So while you could read it as insensitive in the light of current events – I’m reading it as, she’s a power player this next season. At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

      • Yeah, I’m also feeling (HOPING) that one clip is indicative of Sophia’s importance to the season and not anything icky. I mean, even characters like Red and Alex didn’t get more than a few quick shot in this trailer, so I don’t think quantity means much here… or at least I’m (once again) hoping so.

  4. I’m super stoked! A lot Vauseman fans are going to jump ship (pun intended) and be all about Stella Carlin and Piper Chapman a.k.a. Carman. Wars will ensue on Tumblr and many a lesbian will get into an all out war.

    I LOVED the trailer, but it was lacking my spirit animal Nicky (Is she out or was that a flashback scene?!), but there’s just so much you can put in a 2 minute trailer.

    Seriously, I’m waiting for some hot Flaca and Maritza action with some Joy Division or The Smiths playing in the background.

    • I don’t see a lot of Vauseman shippers (or even some) jumping ship at all for Stella and Piper and/or Stella and Alex (since there’s rumors she gets involved with both and RR’s character appears to be appreciatively staring at Alex in the one part of the trailer). Laura Prepon has said fans will love this season and she knows everyone loves Vauseman so she’d only say that if there will be some great Vauseman stuff. All the fans on social media are talking about today is that great pic of Vauseman against the wall so I don’t see them all jumping ship for what will probably be a fling (if that) with Stella.

  5. I actually think that it would be cool if Ruby hooked up with Sophia or Poussey rather than Alex or Piper. Also I really hope that Gloria and Sophia don’t become enemies. I love both of them to death. The Maritza/Flaca moment was everything though I’m crossing my fingers that those two get together.

  6. I got choked up seeing Alex again. Oh my god I missed that fucked up bag of brooding darkness with pouty lips.

    Also? Bring on the queer love-triangles. I’m not above ridiculous romantic relationships! Queer representation! WooooooO!!!!!!

      • Now I’m trying to think of what a more modern technologically-appropriate way to express this would be. Click back? Scroll back? Nothing quite seems to work. I’d say you’re safe with “rewind” – it might just become one of those fossilized terms like “dial” that younger generations continue to use without knowing its etymological origins.

        (Sorry to linguistic-nerd out in your comment thread…)

  7. Big Boo’s makeover brings back painful old memories of myself, a young tomboy, being forced into dresses. I will personally start a club for other butch ladies and boi’s who have experience this. So sorry.

  8. I saw the trailer on Facebook, freaked the hell out, and then started laughing because of #SorryNotSorry (Naya and Big Sean probably should have copyrighted that)

    Suzanne and Black Cindy are the best. Also is Miss Claudette able to come back this season or is her actress still in recovery? I have her in my thoughts always, Miss Claudette is the queen

  9. I don’t actually care at all about the whole Ruby Rose thing, mostly because I don’t really know anything about her character other than “exceptionally attractive dyke who has hot sex” which is great and all, but Poussey’s still in prison so that should be her.
    Also, so much sympathy for Big Boo having to go through that, plus fear that the writers decided it was something she would chose for herself. Unless it’s to prepare for a family visit? Hopefully we get a lot more Big Boo this season.

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