Ooooohhhh, I Wanna Lex You Up!

While hanging out with a cutie the other day, she made me laugh furiously by using the word “railed.” It’s just such a strong word to me and lesbians love to use it. We were talking about being strapped and queer women and got around to how our community needs to work harder at breaking through the stereotypical roles in our sexual relationships. And in some ways, we are!

The proof is on Lex, the newest queer dating appLesbians and queer women who are tops, bottoms, butches, andros, and more have been posting about wanting someone to come over and quite honestly, just fuck the hell out of them. It’s the best.

I read Lex ads aloud to everyone. When I’m at my day job there is a chance you could walk up and hear me saying “Logan Square stud/stem couple into blood play and makeouts, Bojack Horseman & Miss Peregrine is in the Netflix queue, willing to travel but prefer that you live nearby because the earth is dying.” I heart pretty much every ad I come across and once wrote my own.

I tasked the Autostraddle crew to each write one of their own, either one they have actually posted or that they plan to –– maybe –– and send it my way. Have fun playing match the AS babe to the Lex ad, I wanna be flirty and say we’ll never tell… but some of us love attention so you never know.

Happy Lexing!


                                     This is my original ad that got a few cuties my way, including the one mentioned earlier in this piece!


It’s a well known fact that I am afraid of mermaids but think I could roleplay ‘Mean Mommi” quite well.


The Certainly White network is possibly my fav channel so yes I’m responding, Riverdale & Chill?


Write about how unimpressed you were with my first date banter, PLEASE! Responding and favoriting.


Kind of a grown-up, love cheese, responding ASAP?


Casual but consistent? Spankings and Dinner? Messaging now and screenshotting for twitter.


I too have great tits and nails, I don’t eat figs but hope it wouldn’t stop you from saying yes to a date.


I’m a Ravenclaw BUT I’m sending a message to request rolling around with those midnight snacks in bed.


I kind of have my shit together but I do like Tequila and think I could like your friends too so, HML?


Have you met any cuties on Lex? Do you wanna guess who wrote which ad featured here? What would your Lex ad say?

Shelli Nicole is a Detroit-raised, Chicago-based friendly black hottie whose work on race and culture has appeared in Bustle, HelloGiggles & Missbehave Magazine. Follow her on Twitter (@HiShelli) for fiery emotions & Instagram (@AyoShelli) for fire selfies.

Shelli has written 27 articles for us.

29 Comments

  1. Speaking as someone who quietly and happily freed up her Friday (and Saturday) evenings to enjoy the Vorugal Boss Battle and could write a dissertation on why Lena and Kara would make so much sense, I feel you Nerd2Nerd.
    Btw., speaking of swapping fan theories, is Lex kinder than Tinder?
    Or is it more specifically sexualized? Is there a rural vs. city dynamic? Are there unwritten rules one ought to know about? I might tentatively start dating again if I don’t have to be terrified of people.

    • I’ve found lex kinder as one isn’t swyping to match so you can just start the convo based om something one posted. Can’t say how it compares to tinder in terms of sexualized, but it’s certainly more out in the open what people want, which I think has to do with the safe space environment the app has created.

    • I haven’t been on Tinder but I love Lex. I live in a mid sized midwestern city in the US and there’s not really anyone on it in my city. But I’m married to a guy and poly and both of these things were received well enough that I found a really nice person who I’ve been dating since November. You can sign up without an ad so it’s easy to lurk and be wildly entertained by the truly fabulous ads people put up, and not be seen at all.

  2. I’ve been on Lex since November, it’s a cool idea but the app is wonky a lot and there’s been CIS men there. I posted 4 ads, deleted 3 of my ads because I thought they sounded stupid. I’ve sent plenty of messages but only 3 women have replied to me but unfortunately they live no where near me.

  3. Just this week met someone from Lex. Both of us are looking for friends & people to go to local events with. Really cool person. The first few people I tried to meet canceled pretty much day of & then we really didn’t speak, despite me trying to make one effort to reschedule. I also have plans to meet a NB top next week, which I am hoping will lead to some real fun.

  4. I met my girlfriend on Lex! She posted an ad about wanting to listen to Mary Lambert’s “Grief Culture” with someone and feel feels. As a fellow Mary Lambert fan and lover of feelings, I responded, and 2+ months later, we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day together as a couple. I highly endorse Lex!

  5. I had fun with the challenge of guessing the ads so here’s my guesses:
    Lazy Mermaid = Christina?
    Nerd4Nerd = Valerie Anne
    Hot Capricorn = Drew (thanks Twitter lol)
    Fuck Holiday Cheer = Laneia
    Fun Control Freak Bottom = Vanessa
    Let’s Try This Again = Dani
    Do I Need a Headline = ?
    Let’s Arrange a Marriage = Riese

  6. “Broke BDSM Enby Seeking Rich Bottom?”

    Or perhaps something punny about me getting on you instead of you getting on me…

    “Not good at feelings or being touched but af to cuddling and dining companionship”

    Too sleepy to make brownies so I’m going to eat baking chocolate and some PB right out the jar like the grubby little gremlin I am.

  7. Let’s Arrange a Marriage: Riese
    Let’s Try This Again: Drew
    Hot Capricorn Open To…: also Drew??
    Fun Control Freak Bottom: Vanessa
    Fuck Holiday Cheer: Laneia

    I’d probs date any of these folks tbh, writing for AS = infinity hot points

    HVD babes 😘

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