NSFW Sunday Is Ready For This Election To End So We Can Have Sex Again

Feature image of Anya Lust lingerie via the lingerie addict. All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Anya Lust lingerie via the lingerie addict

Anya Lust lingerie via the lingerie addict

+ Crushes are fun, especially as a distraction, because you get to worship someone from afar (but please not in a weird way) without changing the fabric of your real life:

“Crushes are an escape from reality, which can sometimes, if you’re lucky, actually convert into your new reality. You don’t have to commit to a crush, but you can if you decide you want to. You’re totally in control. You can have a crush roster of eight people who you exchange in and out throughout various short- and long-term life fantasies (I highly recommend this). You can imagine your white comforter and the natural light coming in through your ranch house master bedroom, but then not actually have to think about the implications of a suburban lifestyle on your freedom and what if you’re tempted to cheat on your spouse because you can’t handle the mundanity of the PTA and the soccer practices that plague your futuristic dreamscape! Crushing is a low-stakes, high-reward system that can be both beneficial to your sanity and just plain fun.”

+ BDSM is good for you (if you’re into it):

“[R]esearchers at the university found doms were able to achieve ‘optimal flow’: an immersive, creative state of mind sought by writers, artists and musicians.

Subs, on the other hand, experienced ‘transient hypofrontality,’ an altered state of consciousness that can present itself as anything from a distortion of time to floating feelings, lack of self-consciousness, peacefulness and the experience of being in the here and now. (Bottoms also demonstrated impaired executive functioning after the scene was over, scoring poorly in a word and color matching game called the Stroop Test.)”

+ Vampire storylines are one way periods are getting play in porn.

+ Here’s how mass-produced vibrators are made.

+ Are people over dating apps?

+ Americans are having less sex because of the election and all the stress that goes with it.

+ Vagina-havers’ orgasms are more complex than terms of vaginal or clitoral. In a new study, researchers concluded that subjective experience, along with anatomical and physiological responses, are what makes an orgasm an orgasm.

+ Last call for no on California’s Prop 60.

+ Near a Babeland store? On Nobember 8, the first 100 Babeland visitors to mention the word Hillary “vote” will receive either a Babeland Silver Bullet vibrator or Babeland Anal Beads. Online shoppers can enter promo code “blue” at checkout to receive the silver bullet with purchase or “red1” at checkout to receive the anal beads.

+ Consent is a good look. Also mandatory.

+ Sometimes you need someone you can fall apart in front of. At the Establishment, Michelle Ofiwe writes about being a submissive Black woman, the disconnect between how she is perceived and who she is, demanding a space to be vulnerable and more:

“I unraveled at this intersection of pain and pleasure in ways I’d never experienced before. I didn’t have to hide what I was feeling. In bed, every gasp, moan, or curse I made was as real as the hand that caused them. In the face of pain, I didn’t have to think, only feel. Pain rendered me vulnerable and, ultimately, honest.

Sex gave me a new type of control: I could determine the kind of pain inflicted on me by mere request. I could negotiate the terms of my “suffering,” and thus anticipate its effects. It was a sharp contrast from my vanilla life, where I could not always avoid the blunt sting of reality. In bed, not only could I invite pain—I could shift it, changing the weight of its impact on me. It was a satisfying, dizzying feeling. I wanted more.”

+ The type of porn you watch has nothing to do with the type of sex you have:

“It begins to make sense if you think of watching porn as reading a book or playing a video game: just because you enjoy reading about spies or playing spy-themed games does not mean you want to be a spy. Dr. Levkoff says, ‘pornography gives us the ability to experience something sexual—or fantastical—without physical engagement with another person.’ Hanson considers sex to be something like a rubix cube; there are a seemingly infinite amount of ways to get what you want, sexually. Porn, then, allows us to explore the outlets we might not necessarily feel ready (or even want) to explore outside of the XXX space.”

@rat_prince via rodeohs

@rat_prince via rodeohs

+ Queer porn is super into portraying enthusiastic safer sex. Is there a link between queerness and safer sex?:

“Queerness—and, by extension, queer porn—is an identity built on the principles of freedom, choice, and authentic expression of identity. When Lee has worked with more mainstream directors, they told me, the experience has often been one in which performers come together to realize a director’s vision of what’s sexy (including, but not limited to, how safer sex is practiced on set). In contrast, queer directors are more likely to give performers the freedom to decide what sexy means for them—and how, precisely, safer sex practices are incorporated into that sexiness. The ethos of authentic representation that shaped Trouble’s initial queer porn manifesto is, fundamentally, an ethos of freedom of sexual expression. ‘Their body, their choice,’ is how Trouble sums it all up.”


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

17 Comments

    • “Here’s the thing: When you seem strong, no one protects you. They don’t think they need to. You learn to conceal the tenderness you feel behind your impressive self-control… I was rarely afforded the luxury of vulnerability. What if I revealed myself to someone who did not deserve to see such splendor?”

      Just, yes! Still I struggle to reconcile my desires to be submissive and what that means. Being strong is so deeply ingrained in me, I don’t feel safe enough to show any true emotions except in the presence of three people.

  1. Came back to read the article written by Michelle Ofiwe. I was struck by this. It resonated with me.

    “When you seem strong, no one protects you. They don’t think they need to. You learn to conceal the tenderness you feel behind your impressive self-control. You become hesitant of who you reveal your pain to, always cognizant of the “hard” image you’ve carefully created. You tailor your reactions carefully, obsessively so, until a man grips your hair between his fingers. Your surprise escapes from your lips before you can stifle it or wonder—like you always do—if you gave away too much.”

    It pretty much sums up what I have been dealing with when it comes to vulnerability. Thank you AS. You have no idea how much this article helped me.

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