Feature image of Chocolate Chip, Sadie Lune and Surgeon in Crash Pad Series episode 64. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday come from the CrashPadSeries.com. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday! Listen, I know some of you miss the tumblr visuals, thanks for hanging out while we figure out something better.
Brooklyn Flaco and Papí Coxxx in Crash Pad Series episode 144
+ “One especially great thing about anal sex is that your butthole is a non-gendered orifice. Boy or girl, trans, straight, queer, top or bottom — everyone has a butthole,” Diana Cage tells Nylon. This introduction to anal sex covers anal anatomy, lube, hygiene, safety, that anal sex is not supposed to hurt and that trying it on your own first is a great way to start:
“Tristan [Taormino] suggests anal masturbation as a way to get to know your own body and get comfortable with anal penetration. To get started, she suggests taking a bath or a shower to help you relax, and to make sure your hands are clean and nails trimmed neatly. The tissue inside your butt is sensitive, so you want to take your time, and use plenty of lube. You might also use a hand-held mirror to get a closer look. (Yes, really!) Check out your butthole. What is more empowering than really knowing your own body? Make sure your finger is good and slippery with lube and gently touch your anus—just the outside and see how it feels for you. When you are ready for penetration, you can use one finger to start, go slowly and notice how your body reacts. What movements and sensations feel the best? Once you get comfortable with how your own finger feels inside your butt, what you like and don’t like, you will be more comfortable and able to better communicate when you are with a partner.”
+ And in a similar introduction to anal sex at Kinkly, Stella Harris adds:
“Whether alone or with a partner, you want to start with external anal stimulation. The anus, and area around the anus, is incredibly sensitive so touch to this area can be very pleasurable. Start with an external massage, using plenty of lube, and get used to having this area of your body touched. Simply focusing on external touch can be enough for your first try, or first several tries. Adding external touch into your foreplay activities can be a great way to start getting used to the idea of anal penetrating someone, or being penetrated anally yourself.”
Cinnamon & Cicatriz in Crash Pad Series episode 169
+ “We need more films that contain honest depictions of the various forms that trans women’s sexuality can take,” writes Jes Grobman at the Establishment:
“We need more films made by trans women for trans women. We need more films that highlight the way that queer porn can create sites and models of desirability for trans women; films in which we can see ourselves reflected in the performers and wherein we can learn to see ourselves as attractive and deserving of affection.
In a society that doesn’t value the lives of trans women, where we face so much discrimination and hostility from our peers and from the current presidential administration, where we are told that we are ugly and unlovable, being able to see trans women enjoying their bodies and experiencing pleasure is revolutionary.”
Courtney Trouble, Dylan Ryan (not pictured), and Chelsea Poe in Crash Pad Series episode 148
+ How does queer love work in the anthropocene? At the Rumpus, Jessi O’Rourke-Suchoff writes:
“When it comes to queer love, time can draw out the stale, lingering flavor of intimate connection. The grain of truth that lies in stereotypes about the way care for each other has to do with the high conversion rate between deep love and deep friendship. Explanations for this phenomenon are easy to come by: for survival, small communities must value conviviality over bridge-burning; or perhaps, it’s that those of us socialized as female have been taught to avoid conflict and facilitate care and healing. Freud’s formulation was the simplest, and could, barring its deep-seated misogyny, still have the most purchase—we are, at our core, just narcissists. We can’t bear the thought of not being loved, even by those who cling to the versions of ourselves we can no longer bear to be.”
Chocolate Chip and Eros LaFemme in Crash Pad Series episode 219
+ Can making fetish wear into fashion dillute its sexual power?
+ Sex tech could be the future, but research needs to catch up.
+ This week in controlling women’s sexuality: At Jezebel, Prachi Gupta writes, “the idea of a woman in charge of her body is so vulgar to the Indian government that its Central Board of Film Certification has barred the theatrical release of Lipstick Under My Burkha […] an independent film that won a gender equality award at the Mumbai Film Festival in 2016 and an Audience Award at the Glasgow Film Festival 2017, [and] follows the stories of four repressed women aged 18 to 55 as they begin to express their sexuality and take agency over their lives.” And, Facebook banned an ad with a Charles Blackman OBE painting of “two lesbian lovers, and shows a shadowy book, a bottom, and an ever-so-slight hint of vagina” because, according to a rep, “such ads lead to negative user sentiment.” (It was later approved.)
+ The Explore More Summit is a sex-positive, inclusive conference on sex and relationships that starts March 8, and it’s online and totally free. Topics this year include sex and disability, racism and sexism, fatphobia, grief and empathy, queer inclusion, non-monogamy, BDSM, communication and more.
+ If you and a partner have bodies that can knock each other up, you should know that it turns out you can get pregnant even when you are already pregnant.
April Flores and Milcah Halili in Crash Pad Series episode 234
+ Sometimes you are mostly straight and your best friend is also mostly straight and you use remote-controlled vibrators together:
“We soon learned each other’s favorite modes—hers, ‘Tide,’ and mine, ‘Cha Cha Cha.’ Was this really happening? It was. It actually was. This was very much happening. We could see each other’s faces through the video chat, though the connection kept wavering, which might have made things a little easier. I messaged her ’bout to cum’ as a joke, but I wasn’t even joking. Were we dating now? What were the rules to this? Was I actually bout to cum? I let myself forget the gimmick for a moment and enjoy myself, my heart rate rising.”
superfetation sounds like a super power but it is in fact the exact opposite!!
“As a person who’s hooked up with more male friends than I have fingers, I can confirm that friend sex makes things weird for one or both parties, almost every time. But seeing as Julia and I aren’t sexually attracted to each other, we hoped this friendly arrangement didn’t have to change a thing. In fact, there’s a historical precedent! In the 19th century, semi-romantic friendships were fairly common, as there weren’t quite the same boundaries between non-sex friends and sex friends (i.e., lovers) that exist today. These sexually ambiguous relationships were known as “Boston marriages” and were shared between close women friends.” Harold…
Which link is this from?
Nevermind, I see now that it’s the last one.
Well, that’s…not great to say the least.
Slightly off topic, one time a few months after my fiancee and I got engaged, her dad introduced me to someone as her friend, and while it was rage inducing at the time, now sometimes we’ll jokingly say things to each other like, “you’re great at ikea furniture! I would know, we’ve been *friends* for years.”
Omg at the getting pregnant twice. So, I was geared up to hate that last article but actually was kind of sweet when I read it. Great roundup, thanks!