NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Will Get You Off All Five Ways

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Spanko’s has a breakdown of some types of possible spanking, such as role play and punishment, that details what each scenario entails from both the spanker and spankee:

“Many who are looking to explore spanking and discipline do so for a variety of reasons. For simple sexual foreplay – or to go back to a more steady role in the house where there is a dominant and submissive person and the discipline is in the form of a ‘head of household’ – to those who need to have those times of being called out for their attitude or tone – to be held accountable – for true discipline – to those then who want to explore the more intense form of punishment that begins to move towards BDSM.”

@koochykilla and @friskeechristee via rodeoh

@koochykilla and @friskeechristee via rodeoh

+ There are (at least) five types of orgasms you might be able to have. + Vaginas can make pharmaceuticals, are actually magic.

+ Over half of Americans are not married, if you want to read an article about that that mostly sidelines research for heterosexual conjecture.

+ The Victorians were really weird about sex, and believed that masturbation would make you crazy (but could be prevented by eating cornflakes), that women had no sex drives and that sex had to occur in total darkness.

+ Having simultaneous orgasms requires practice.

+ If you’ve ever been confused on a sex/gender term, this glossary can help.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Doxy.

+ Refinery29 has an interview with photographer Andi Schreiber, who is exploring how bodies change with age, as well as excerpts from her project:

“As female bodies age, society views them as less and less desirable, less useful, less attractive; in fact, Schreiber says, people often stop looking at them at all. ‘Somewhere in my 40s,’ she shares with us, ‘I began to feel less noticed by others. My physical appearance changed, and there was also a shift in the way I thought about and carried myself.’ In her photo series ‘Pretty, Please,’ Schreiber explores these shifts, shying away from none of the physical aspects of aging: her ebbing menstrual flow, creases of fat, and crow’s feet all take center stage. At the same time, she asserts her status — to herself and to the world — as a sexual, sensual, and middle-aged being. With her photos and the title ‘Pretty, Please,’ Schreiber seems both to ask herself for permission to feel sexy and to request that others see her as the same. Her work connotes insecurity, but not despair: you finish viewing the photos with the hope that the woman who took them will find joy in her body for as long as she lives in it — and that the rest of us will, too.”

Ashley Kolodner via handsome girls

Ashley Kolodner via handsome girls

+ Solo Poly discussed why thinking about new relationships where some/all of the people involved are in other relationships as “entering preexisting relationships” is not as potentially healthy as thinking about them as expanding networks, especially if an existing relationship has problems or you’re worried about couple privilege:

“Whenever a new intimate relationship begins, it’s almost always that: a NEW relationship. The context for that new relationship may include that one or more of the partners also has other pre-existing relationships, of any depth, duration, or level of commitment. Or they also may have a job, kid, health condition, or other important commitments or issues which affect how they approach a new relationship, what they can offer, and what they need — and who else might need to be considered or communicated with. But still: That new relationship is its own thing.”

+ Porn site banners are terrible on purpose:

“One day it’s BDSM, tomorrow it’s MILFs. My boss told me all the time: ‘keep it as amateur as you can’. It all needs to be extremely ugly, so people believe it’s real and it’s an amateur website — and then they click more! I had to do it in a lot of different languages — Russian, I don’t know why Russian! And he told me, just Google Translate it!; And I said ‘but it won’t be right,’ and they said ‘no, it’s not supposed to be right, because then people click it more.'”

+ Facebook’s “real names” policy is outing gay, trans and adult performers in disproportionate numbers.

+ Criminalization of the sex industry is bad for everyone.

+ Sugarbutch on whether rough-sex fantasies compromise sex-positive ethics:

I know that the educational workshops I teach encourage sex positive responsibility. But in my erotica? That issue becomes a little more nuanced and complicated, because of the aspects of art and fantasy. For example, I am aware that there are some points in the Sweet & Rough collection of stories where characters protest or resist or drink a lot of whiskey. I think there is nothing wrong with playing with resistance and force, consensually and carefully, but I also think that requires a lot of negotiation, a lot of trust, and safewords, in order to be done responsibly in the real world. That part of the story often isn’t revealed. Like the porn scene that cuts out the part where the fluffer comes on stage and someone else adds more lube, the erotic story often excludes the getting-to-know-you, the subtle body language communication, the character’s histories with each other, and what they have negotiated ‘off screen.'”

Model: Sierra McKenzie // Photo by: Amanda Calquhoun via mandy darling

Model: Sierra McKenzie // Photo by: Amanda Calquhoun // via mandy darling

+ Jon Millward has some really neat data visualization based on sex retailer Lovehoney’s sales.

+ Lifehacker on if online dating is worth it:

“Remember: there are more people doing this than you probably realize. If one of your friends is going to judge you for trying to find love, then maybe they just aren’t very nice. And if you’re saying stupid stuff on your profile…well, don’t. If you wouldn’t want a friend to see it, you probably wouldn’t want it to be the first thing a potential date sees. More importantly: on most dating sites, your profile isn’t truly ‘public.’ The only people who can see your profile are other people signed up for the site. So if someone you know sees your profile…well, they’re on the site too, aren’t they?”


All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1127 articles for us.

15 Comments

  1. Lovin this article, hating the fact that links I click on replace the whole article I was just enjoying making me double back to river of FB posts for the original link. There’s probably a simple way to designate links to open in a separate window, jus’ sayin. Xo!

  2. I feel like I’m focusing on the wrong thing here given the beautiful ladies and sexy articles, but you guys, I really wish that glossary had existed when I was in the process of coming out to myself. I had so many confused moments reading articles with terms or acronyms I just didn’t know.

  3. Facebook’s “real name” policy is one of the major reasons why I don’t have one. Recently there was a big blow up in the Pagan community when a man used it to get the real names of some women who he had a disagreement with and out them to their families, employers, and in one case possibly to the stalker who’s threatened her life and the lives of her children. And when that situation was brought to his attention, he replied that he hoped her stalker found her and that she should call out his name while the stalker rapes her.

    Clearly we can’t stop people from being monsters, but sites like Facebook shouldn’t enable that behavior.

    • I wonder how Facebook chooses when to enforce the policy? Me and a large percentage of people I know changed our names on facebook upon graduating from school and entering the job market. It’s really common and I’ve never heard of Facebook giving people any problems about it. The policy seems foolish anyway, but if they are specifically targeting trans and gender non-conforming people in their enforcement of it, that’s even worse.

  4. I’ve been playing with the idea of online dating just to see what all the fuss is about (quite a few friends of mine seem to be enjoying it) and I’m sort of one foot in one foot out about the idea.
    Reading about it in Autostraddle kind of automatically adds a few pros to the list.

    • I met my girlfriend via OkCupid. I sort of put it up on a whim, went on a few hilariously awkward dates and forgot about it – then she messaged me and had a funny username and I said “what the hell ok”. We just had our year anniversary.

      The trick to it that I’ve found is to not take anything too seriously. Even if a date is awkward and terrible (like the girl who spilled coffee on me in the first two minutes and I had to sit at the rest of the date in wet pants, or the girl who really liked to see how far she could explore in urban spaces before security asked her to leave) you’re still getting out of your house and going on a date. If it goes poorly you can always bail, and you’ll have a funny story!

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