NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Be All Over You

All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

Feature image via Kameishi Williams


Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ The Rumpus has launched a new series of personal essays exploring literary and kinky lives and practices. In the first, Janet W. Hardy, co-author of The Ethical Slut, writes about authentic selves in dreams and sexual fantasy, ecstatic experience, sexual energy and more.

A photo posted by Alex (@alexyrigoyen) on

+ The word “fuck” was first used with a sexual connotation in 1310. (Context: someone with the last name “Fuckebythenavele” went to court.)

+ What if there were a (good) app for meeting kinky people?

+ Here is how to spank.

+ Sometimes people are attracted to each other for reasons besides their physical bodies: “I have to wonder how many of us really are sexy, apart from our personalities? Are they not inextricable? The hottest piece of ass around, divorced from brains, charm, wit, and identifying traits that are singular to that person, would quickly lose her allure.”

Denise Bidot via hourglass and class

Denise Bidot via hourglass and class

+ Relationships are more interesting when you have separate interests.

+ You’ve almost certainly had more indirect sex partners than you think.

"You are not like the rest of them, you are a fighter. So keep on fighting." ? @petralonnqvist

A photo posted by Mia (@miamunini) on

+ Does your partner do things that annoy you? The main available choices are to accept it or leave:

“You are dating the person you are dating, annoying quirks and all. These categories, and the behaviors in them, are only loose guides meant to get you thinking about how you feel about your partner’s quirks. In response to some of these examples below, you may be able to kindly suggest a different behavior your partner could try, but know that for the most part, your two options when it comes to an annoying behavior in a partner are to 1) accept it or 2) leave if you cannot accept it.”

Lyric Seal and Louise Thirteen via The Crash Pad

Lyric Seal and Louise Thirteen via The Crash Pad

+ Heading off to your first orgy? Broadly has some advice, including how to find one, what to wear, who to bring, to ask for consent, to not drink very much, to try to relax and more:

“Once you arrive, have a drink and mingle. It’s not like people check their coats and immediately put their mouths all over each other. Most parties include a hangout zone where everyone wears clothes (or at least some clothes), drinks, dances, and flirts like in a regular bar. Hang out here and make charged eye contact with a few strangers. After you’re done your first drink, try to talk to one. Remember: This is just a room where everyone is drinking a little bit and hoping to fondle an attractive stranger later, so it’s exactly like every bar you’ve ever been to in your life.”

+ People with disabilities still have sex:

“Asking questions about sex can be uncomfortable for anyone. But for people with disabilities, it’s especially difficult: When it comes to the “sex talk,” most parents and educators have no idea how to answer typical questions like “How will my body change during puberty?” or “How do I get a girlfriend?” about atypical bodies. For those who have acquired a disability later in life, doctors and nurses often can’t or don’t feel comfortable answering questions about emotional intimacy and sexual function, like “Can I ask my support worker for help with condoms?” or “How can I achieve orgasm?” Due to a lack of resources and information, many people with disabilities are left to figure out sex and intimacy on their own, in some cases simply deciding that sexuality can’t be a part of their life.”

+ Haley Mlotek on horny cognitive dissonance and how even though it seems like the best sex should be sex where certain parts of your brain turn off, in fact it is sex where those same parts of your brain are on:

“I’ve always prioritized a certain kind of reckless sexual behavior: I believed the best sex was brainless sex. If sex was good, I thought, I wouldn’t think about what I looked like, or what my partner was thinking, or if I had left my flat iron on, or what I was going to blog about on Monday, or if I even liked that thing My Partner was doing, or if they even liked the thing I was doing, or any of the billions of thoughts that I can never, ever turn off, no matter how desperately I just want some peace and quiet from myself.

Not coincidentally, this kind of sexual congress is…rare! In my entire life, I can think of maybe six instances of sex with a partner where this feeling or state was achieved. And, of course, I treasure those memories and send them sly winking emojis in my brain all the time, but here’s where more dissonance comes in: those times are not, I repeat not, on my personal list of Best Times I Did The Sex, as I, a grown woman, like to refer to my sexual history.”

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: You know how this week Sinclair Sexsmith answered your questions about having a kinky bottomy partner when you’ve never tried kink before? They’ve also written about five ways to try out kinky headspace for anyone:

“So there’s this thing — in kinky culture, it tends to be called “headspace.” It’s when you are swimming in the whatever role you’re in, dominant or submissive, top or bottom. It could be “bottom space” or “dom space” or “little space” or “puppy space” or whatever kind of space you are seeking or playing within. It’s often what people aim for when we play, often that infinite-floaty space that seems boundless and fills our heads with the same thing as chocolate and wine.

Know what I mean? Yeah. I thought you did.

But how do you get it? You want more of it, don’t you? Maybe you want more of it specifically about dominance and submission? Well, I’ve got some ideas.”


Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 934 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. In summary of Mlotek the best kind of sex is the kind where your brain tunes everything out but zeroes in/tunnel visions on your partner and the sex.
    Which y’all I heartily agree on.

    Also reading Lesbosexy Sunday while listening to Tracy Chapman is an experience I would recommend 10/10, all the stars.
    I think I’m blushing and I’m not a blusher.

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.