No Filter: Just A Taxidermied Squirrel And A Selfie Stick

Hello and welcome back to No Filter, a column about celebrities and all the various ways they eat their mashed potatoes. This time last week I was cavorting with a bunch of writers from this very website on a mountain with no wifi, pretending to be very invested in preparing for the arrival of my campers but probably wondering what Kristen Stewart was up to at that very moment. Was she thinking about me? This week, I am at sea level (or whatever) with internet access so we can pry into the lives of a lot of famous people and figure out what they ate for dinner! Let’s get to it.

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Ellen Page posted this precious picture of herself (?!) with her ancient, much-beloved teddybear, although certain editors at a certain website suspect that it’s really gal pal Alia Shawkat, snuggling after an intimate slumber party. Those two!

I could post literally anything from Miley Cyrus’ insta every single week and it would be amazing, but this week she met this tiny horse. No clue what she’s been into the rest of the week. Sleeping on pizza sheets with her tiny kitten, I guess.

I don’t know anything about Pretty Little Liars but I defer to Heather Hogan, Keeper of Lesbian Television Secrets, to tell us what’s going on here. As far as we can tell, these humans aren’t queer at all but just really like holding each other within the soft embrace of this inflatable donut. That’s everyone’s right.

Jenny Owen Youngs taught Mal Blum how to play guitar on top of a mountain.

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Girlz. #loveyou

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St. Vincent and Cara Delevingne hung out with Suki Waterhouse and probably didn’t have to spend $5 for a bottle of water like everyone else in this photograph.

Someone put Carmen Esposito in this closet and forgot about her, so she drank all the beer I guess?

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Lastly… What’s Evan Rachel Wood up to? Not signing up for Instagram? Hanging out with this guy:

Join us next week as we delve deeper into the mysteries of the universe.

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Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.


  1. Dear Stef,
    I saw “The Clouds of Sils Maria” yesterday and am now of the Kristen Stewart persuasion as well.
    This poses a slight problem however:
    With professionally adorable tweeter, one Miss Page and gorgeous Ms Liebert, my puppy dog loyal gal pal feelings are all over the place lately and thus much confused and conflicted.
    Do you happen to posess any knowledge or advice on multiple celebrity girl crushes and/or could recommend an app or the like to keep those organized?
    During my uneventful teenagehood, I was blissfully unencumbered by social media, and thus, my solitary Buffy poster replaced that of Miss Anderson’s Scully in a to me, natural progression of serial monogamy.
    Any advice in regards to this bothersome issue would be greatly appreciated.
    Sincerely thankful,

    P.S.: With the return of OITNB this Friday, I fear an augmentation of this particular problem.

    • this is a brilliant comment but as a sidenote, i saw “The Clouds of Sils Maria” and felt really unsatisfied by it and therefore confused about the overall hype, for example, i felt like they teased a lesbian situation in the trailer but never followed through on it, which is a CARDINAL SIN

      • Thankfully, I went into the movie under the impression that I was about to watch ca.90 minutes worth of an older Lesbian predatorily lusting over her young and thoroughly uninterested assisstant.
        I guess it was mainly therefore, that I kept finding myself repeatedly and rather pleasantly surprised by the movie’s intelligence and the reciprocated nature of the two women’s relationship.
        To be phrasing it more plainly:
        I’m a total sucker for a certain kind of tension and attraction that is conveyed more through chemistry, superb acting and direction, than whatever is plainly done and uttered. Like a couple of violin strings finding perfect harmony.
        With the whole theme of what makes a relationship, an affair, desire, and especially developing Val and Maria’s relationship against the backdrop of Sigrid and Helena’s, I was ok to forgive the lack of open physical confirmation that these two were more than just friendly gal paling around the Swiss mountainside.
        At the very beginning Maria states that she is most certainly not a Lesbian and Val leaves her because she is unwilling to bend her mind to new ideas and to respect her way of thinking.
        Val’s leaving and the absence of raw physicality transcends their relationship over that of their literary counterparts.
        Could I have done with a kiss or a Love scene? Most certainly.
        But I do, as mentioned above, forgive its absence.
        It’s more of a movie that explores the idea of desire than act it out, but it does so respectfully.
        Unlike other movies that, for example, feature Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore that I couldn’t even finish watching…
        Sorry for the rant, I was just glad not to find the Lesbian situation I thought I’d find.
        Have a good day!

  2. “There’s always gonna be another mountain
    I’m always gonna wanna make it move
    Always gonna be an uphill battle
    Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
    Ain’t about how fast I get there
    Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side

    It’s the cliiiiiiiiimb,” to a genderqueer identity and embracing who you are.

    I have a lot of feelings about this mainly that her song “The Climb” was on repeat when I was coming out and now in the Paper Magazine interview she says that she is genderqueer.

    It’s Pride month and I have yet to make it to the end of the week to binge watch OITNB, attended Brooklyn Pride and recover at a post-pride Picnic.

    It’s the climb Wednesday, my mountain, hump day, omg send help and lunch.

    “I can almost see it….”(the weekend)

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