Love & Canada: Immigration Station

I'm writing this from my actual house in my actual city. I always imagined feeling relieved once I got here, and wanting to be quiet and maybe sleep for 1,000 hours, but instead I feel wired and excited for literally everything. I've never had a move that felt so little like being jolted from one space to another and so much like something clicking into place.

My life still feels like it's split, and will stay that way for a while. I can't open a US bank account yet; I need to connect with or make friends; I need to find that place I go when I need to get stuff done out of the house and that place I go when I want a drink alone without men trying to talk to me; I need to figure out how American grocery stores work. I need to get actually married so I can get on my way to a green card. For at least the next ten years, there will always be a next step in my immigration process. I want to wrap up all the loose ends and I can't.

But for right now, that feels okay. Everything is new a...

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1126 articles for us.