I Don’t Know If You’ve Heard, But There’s Lesbian Sex In Skins USA

SKINS:

Are you watching MTV’s US version of Skins? Did you even watch the UK original? Were you in love with Cassie or possibly Jal? To be honest, even if the answer to all those questions is no, you can still enjoy this lesbosexy teenage romance clip featuring lesbian cheerleader Tea and some hot chick.

As you know from reading every single post we ever write religiously, parents and conservative pundits and losers are all freaking out about the soulless immoral debauchery of this show, and are convinced it is bringing the end times upon our tender young lambs. (For instance, you may have noticed that you have to confirm your age to watch this even though all they do is kiss and as far as I know “two girls one cup” is freely available for public viewing by toddlers.)

We would like to take a moment to express the opposite sentiment: we extend our warm thoughts and good feelings to those baby homosexual all across America who maybe will not even watch this show (possibly because they are not allowed to!) but saw this trailer at some point maybe by accident and experienced a moment of “FUCK YES maybe one day I will also dance with and kiss a pretty girl even though I am trapped in the hellish human invention that is high school!” Dear tiny budding lesbi/sexual: we salute you.

GAY PEOPLE ALLOWED TO BE PARENTS:

Some dudes in Connecticut are now allowed to be the parents of their own children even though they’re gay! Utter madness! Cats and dogs living together! Happy families! “The state is, for the first time, recognizing the nature of the relationships that are being created thought surrogacy arrangements in general and IVF [in-vitro fertilization] in particular. That affects not just who can be a parent but the validity and enforceability of surrogacy. Connecticut has set the stage for other states and legislatures — the sky hasn’t fallen. ”

MEAN GIRLS:

Will we ever get tired of talking about this movie? No. So here are 12 more topics of discussion: 12 Things You Didn’t Know About Mean Girls. “Lindsay Lohan’s character is named “Cady”, which has a common pronunciation (“Katie”) but an uncommon spelling for an American girl’s first name. In keeping with the film’s theme of female empowerment, it is the same spelling of the birth last name of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, an 18th-century pioneer in the American Women’s Rights movement.”

ADVERTISEMENT

UTERUS PINATA:

What? It’s a thing.

NEW GAGA SINGLE:

It was played during Nicola Formichetti’s Mugler men’s fashion show in Paris, and its title possibly means “shit” in German, but since the coverage of this song would indicate that not a single soul on the Internet speaks German or even has a casual acquaintance who does, we may never know. Anyways, here’s Gaga’s new single, it’s in German!

JAMES FRANCO AT SUNDANCE:

A poem in pictures. This one is my favorite.

CATS:

“Bruno and Solomon, who live at the no-kill cat shelter Ollie’s Place in New York City, made history this week by becoming the first same-sex married cat-couple.

Also in cats: I don’t know who put this cat in this box or why, but it is released safely and actually I’m pretty sure it could have gotten out itself the whole time, so enjoy! “When one of our friends is stuck in a plastic box, we help them get out of the box by pulling off the lid. But this kitten employs a different method: jumping on top of the box.”

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1134 articles for us.

40 Comments

    • even NBC doesn’t know when it starts. It just knows that it liked the pilot and is officially producing some small number of episodes to be aired at some point probably in the fall, perhaps replacing Outsourced or Perfect Couples or literally anything besides Community or Parks & Rec.

      Which brings me to a whole nother topic, which is: if NBC kills one of my two favorite shows at all time in favor of a lesbian show (of schrodinger quality at this point), will my head explode?

  1. The most ridiculous thing about the whole Skins controversy is that the British version was at least 20 times more risque than the American version and not a single British soul said anything about it.

  2. I grew up speaking German, and would love to assist. Yes, the title means “shit”.

    Obvs, not all of it is in German, and the part that is auf deutsch has an American accent, but here is what is intelligible:

    Ich bin mir absolut klar- “I am totally clear about myself/honest about myself”
    Ich trag die Name Monster- “I carry the name Monster”

    there are several other lines, but they weren’t discernible on a first listen. I’ll let you know more after I listen a few more times.

    • Ach, ich habe gelügt! I can’t make heads nor tails of what she’s uttering. I can catch individual words, but they don’t fit phrases easily… I hear “lieben”, meaning love, I hear “klagen”, meaning to complain, “Fräulein”, young lady, “glauben”, to believe… I don’t think we are intended to be able to make sense of this song, maybe? The beat covers the words so thoroughly at some points, and her diction is not clear, either.

      • Neat, thanks.

        I do not know when/why they capitalize letters in German. In “Ich trag die Name Monster,” why is “name” capitalized? Is it because “Monster” is? If you say, “I live in a city called Bumblefuck,” do you write it, “I live in a City called Bumblefuck?”

        • German capitalizes all nouns, proper and common, as well as beginnings of sentences. Interestingly enough, unlike English, German does not capitalize the pronoun “I”. All that to say: yes, in German one would write, “Ja, ich wohne in eine Stadt, dass Bumblefuck heisst” or, “Yes, i live in a City called Bumblefuck”

          Whoops. What’s posted below was meant to be here as reply to Diver.

  3. German capitalizes all nouns, proper and common, as well as beginnings of sentences. Interestingly enough, unlike English, German does not capitalize the pronoun “I”. All that to say: yes, in German one would write, “Ja, ich wohne in eine Stadt, dass Bumblefuck heisst” or, “Yes, i live in a City called Bumblefuck”

  4. That’s not actually Lady GaGa’s new single- that’s a remix of her song that’s going on Born This Way in May. It was used in the Mugler fashion show and had a short mini film associated with it, but it’s not the single coming out in February :P

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!