Grease Bats: TikTok Goals

Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

Guess what! Archie’s five-year collection of Grease Bats is now a book you can hold IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, with your HANDS, that you can read OFFLINE, that you can TUCK UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT! Snag a copy for you and a pal!

[Gwen is filming herself with her phone.] Andy: Hey Gwen! What are you up to? Gwen: Ooooh! I'm so glad you asked, Andy! I feel like I finally hit a balance during these times! My day job and mutual aid during the day and trying to go viral on TikTok at night! I bought a ring light, a phone stand and might invest in some airpods! Andy: Wowww! Gwen: I just have to find my "niche." Obviously I'm joining the #FEMMEARMY, and KINK TIKTOK, even though know one seems to know what topping means, and #WLW is fun too, but doesn't work for how I identify... And I WAS interested in witch TikTok, but I think they hexed the moon. Andy: This is like choosing where to sit during lunch, but worse.

Gwen, looking downcast: So far none of my videos have really taken off... Andy: A video I made went viral once... look me up! [Gwen checks her phone and looks frustrated]: Andy... you only have one video uploaded and it was viewed 34 million times?? And it's just you eating candy?? What the fuck! I practice! I edit! I bought a RING LIGHT! Andy: Gwen! It's an ALGORITHM! It's random! Why do you wanna go viral on TikTok anyway? Gwen: I miss queer community! I'm tired of social distancing! I want connection! I love my pod but I want MORE... and by more, I mean a pool of internet cuties to date as soon as a vaccine hits. Andy: Tinder is pretty bleak right now...

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I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Co-Author and artist of A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! Studios! If I'm not working I'm socializing. If I'm not out with friends I'm drawing. If I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably depressed. Support me using Patreon.

Archie has written 117 articles for us.


  1. A pool of internet cuties, now there’s a heartwarming thought.

    Ooh and I just bought Grease Bats ! In print !! So excited.

  2. I love that you showed up on my for you page this week and I hadn’t even seen this yet.

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