Welcome back to Boobs on Your Tube on this beautiful summer Friday! What are we getting into? Well, on Batwoman Kate Kane came back into the fold, and Ryan proved why she is Batwoman by leading with her heart. Legends of Tomorrow felt a little like an episode of Orphan Black, if you know what we mean. And what started off as a funny little essay about Dr. Teddy Altman being bisexual turned into a moving love letter to fanfiction.
Over in movies, Riese updated the list of 25 streaming movies with the hottest lesbian sex scenes (listen ok, we know you’re going to click that link, no shame here), and inspired by a recent reader inquiry — Heather made a list of the 10 queer movies that will get her to break up with him. Love to see it.
Notes from the TV Team:
+ This is not technically gay news except in that Peyton Sawyer is one of my roots but the ladies of One Tree Hill are starting a podcast and I am EXCITED. — Valerie Anne
+ This week, on The Chi, Dre continues to hold Jada’s hand as she begins her cancer treatment, even if it means ignoring urgent texts and voicemails from her wife. Jada wants to keep her treatment a secret until she can tell her son but when Nina comes across a message from Jada — “Thank you for keeping our secret” — you know some shit’s about to hit the fan. Elsewhere, Imani’s attempt to rescue Trinity from the trap house fails: her pimp found the burner phone and kills her the betrayal. While Imani’s understandably crushed, it finally puts Trig back in his element, as the leader of the 63rd Street Mob (as opposed to the anti-cop activist they’ve portrayed him as this season). — Natalie
+ The trailer for the new season of Never Have I Ever dropped and, at the very least, it looks a lot gayer than the first. — Natalie
Genera+ion 109: “Deepfake,” 110: “Built for Pleasure,” and 111: “Absolute Zero”
Written by Drew
The immense potential of Genera+ion season one part one has been fulfilled!! Last night the show came back with the first three episodes of part two and it’s everything I hoped it would be.
Gone is the framing device of Delilah’s mall birth, remaining is a wonderful cast of queer teens hanging out and getting into the type of chaos the show does so well. It’s still heightened and soapy, but it understands that for teenagers an accidental text message can have the stakes of a murder. Embracing that dramatic mundanity — rather than running toward plot tricks — is the key to these stellar episodes.
This is a big cast and they’re all up to a lot in these three episodes. But let’s focus in on our main queer girls who NEED TO JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. Season one part one ended with Riley and Greta not addressing their failed hook up and as they continue not to address it, the reasons become deeper. They’re too busy dealing with their families to take a minute and reconnect.
Riley’s parents are mid-divorce with Riley’s dad’s twenty-something girlfriend moving in and Riley’s mom dedicating a room in the house to her inner child. Riley desperately wants out so she’s acting out. She gets in trouble for showcasing a photo in school of her fingering a kiwi and she’s failing pretty much all her classes. She says her mom has fucked her up so badly she’s now beyond fuckupable.
While Riley is spiraling — and making sad eyes at Greta — Greta begins her own mini drama with Lucia. Yes, the same Lucia that Riley hooked up with right after her hook up with Greta went awry. Greta doesn’t know about this and neither other girl plans to tell her. Lucia and Greta flirt at the skatepark and Lucia asks if she can kiss her. Panic spreads across Greta’s face before she realizes she can just say no. Good job, baby girl! Go at your own pace! Lucia gives her a ride home on her bike and Greta seems so happy to embrace the kinds of intimacy she really wanted. But her post-flirt glow is short-lived — she arrives home to see her mom is back.
This leads us to our third episode which brings all this drama to a deliciously messy explosion. Riley’s spiraling is getting even more spiral-y and she begins toying with the idea of dropping out of high school and getting her GED. Probably a better move than gripping the dry ice in science class just to feel something. Greta’s aunt Ana offers to hook Riley up with a job at Hamburger Mary’s to get her on her way.
Meanwhile, Lucia is still into Greta and Greta is still flirting with Riley but then Greta invites Lucia to meet her mom?? It’s unclear if Greta really does like Lucia or if she just feels like it’s easier to start from scratch with a new person than try to verbalize her desires to Riley. Or maybe Ana is right when she suggests Greta just wants her mom to meet Lucia because Lucia looks super gay and it’s easier than coming out.
Either way Lucia comes over for dinner at the same time Riley comes over to thank Ana. Our love triangle is all together and with Greta’s mom! It’s super cute — Lucia fixing the fridge! All of them dancing! — and also super painful. Eventually Riley leaves, sobbing in an Uber, as Greta rejects Lucia once again and looks longingly toward Riley.
As Chester says, lesbians are exhausting. But as Riley says, she’s not a lesbian and actually Chester is the biggest lesbian of them all. We don’t have time to get into all of his antics but she makes a point — at least with how much he talks about astrology.
All American 314: “Ready or Not”
Written by Natalie
After an oddly-timed break — is there rhyme or reason to the CW’s scheduling madness? I think not — All American returned this week, just in time to celebrate Tamia “Coop” Cooper’s 18th birthday. Eight years ago, Coop dreamt big alongside her best friends, Shawn and Spencer. She imagined spending her 18th birthday registering to vote, getting tattoos, skydiving and going to a strip club. Instead, she’s left with the reality that Shawn’s dead, Spencer and her are on the outs and, in lieu of strippers, Patience is still on the road. For now, all Coop wants to do is focus on preparing for the GED.
Coop’s so melancholy about her upcoming birthday that she opts out of a meeting between herself, Leyla and Preach. When their artists leave, Leyla and Preach strategize how to celebrate Coop’s birthday, in spite of Coop’s disinterest. The vibe between Coop’s new manager and her producer/label exec is still frosty and, as is his wont, Preach steps in and takes over the party planning on his own. Y’all know I don’t like to involve myself in the romantic travails of the straights but if they’re not doing an enemies to lovers storyline with Leyla and Preach, what is even the point? But I digress…
Preach hits up Spencer for some birthday party ideas and Coop’s former best friend recommends planning something around Coop’s plans for the future. Preach takes the advice and leaves Spencer with some of his own: “if you’re lucky, you might get real friends your entire life. I’m talkin’ ’bout sandbox, day-ones, ride-or-dies, ‘always there no matter what’ type of friends. Do everything possible to keep them in your circle.”
Later Preach surprises Coop with a GED study hall kickback at Slauson Cafe; instead of partying, everyone shows up to enjoy some food and help Coop study for the test. But Preach interrupts Coop’s study session with a surprise: Patience is back! Spencer got her back in time to celebrate with Coop and she delivers another gift: a gift certificate to go skydiving, a pack of temporary tattoos, a roll of ones for the club and a “Vote” sticker. It’s a reminder that even though a lot has changed, Coop can still hold onto her childhood dreams.
The Bold Type 504: “Day Trippers”
Written by Natalie
Kat rushes into work at Belle, still sluggish from an abrupt 4AM wake-up (thanks Jane!), but before she can get behind the bar, Darby stops her. Unsurprisingly, her bosses at the Belle aren’t happy with Kat’s decision to project the Zuri exhibit onto the building and they’ve decided to let her go. Somehow, Kat remains convinced that doing the “right thing” justifies her defying her boss’ direct order which means Kat still doesn’t understand how jobs work. Miraculously, though, Kat earns herself a temporary reprieve: Darby gives her a few days to prove that the projection was a positive thing for the Belle.
Later, back at the apartment, Jane, Sutton and Kat are each struggling with issues at work…and when Jane bemoans there not being an easy fix to her becoming more like Jacqueline, Kat suggests one: microdosing. She explains the benefits — it “opens your mind, helps with creativity, self-confidence and vision” — and realizes that she could really use some that right now. Jane and Sutton agree and Kat, excitedly, rushes into the kitchen to prepare the mushrooms (which she, surprisingly, already has in the freezer). She prepares a tea with a low dose of psychedelics which they all consume. But, worried that she wouldn’t feel anything from the microdose, Sutton secretly adds more mushrooms to the tea…so instead of the calm clarity they were expecting, Sutton and Jane find themselves in the middle of a full-on trip.
[Jacqueline is also going on a 17 day trip with her husband and wants to leave Jane in charge of a whole ass magazine (when Oliver is standing right there!)…so, I’m thinking she might be on some drugs too…still TBD.]
Kat handles Sutton’s revelation like a seasoned pro: she gets her shift at the Belle covered and then makes her way to Scarlet to help her friends. Kat leans into the clarity provided by the macrodose: she’s inspired by the way people have embraced the #DontTurnAway campaign and wonders if it might be the start of something special. Meanwhile, Kat’s quest to save her job is proving fruitful: she builds a buzz for the Belle on social media and editor of The Cut gives her the heads up on a forthcoming editorial praising the installation. Kat starts contemplating how to expand #DontTurnAway to other areas but her boss only wants to hear about how she’s rehabbed the Belle’s image and whether Kat can cover a late shift.
Unsure of herself, Kat strips off her Belle uniform and takes down her hair. She looks at herself in the mirror…like, really looks…and it sparks an epiphany. Wearing some Fashion Closet Couture, Kat realizes that she needs to leave where she is to get to where she needs to be. The next day, Kat quits her job at the Belle, opting to put her focus on #DontTurnAway full-time. And while that feels like something worth celebrating, it feels shortsided (and naive) for Kat to step away from a paycheck without a plan to secure a new bag.
Legacies 315: “A New Hope”
Written by Valerie Anne
I’d like to apologize in advance for this wee-cap. I should have had someone guest-write it for me this week. Because while I understand THAT this episode was basically one giant Star Wars reference, and I have never seen a single Star War. That said, I consume enough pop culture to know that it WAS Star Wars themed, so that’s gotta count for something, right?
Anyway I loved this episode despite not connecting to the homages because it was my favorite trio on an adventure together, as it should be. Lizzie is a princess, Josie is her android sister, and Hope is a mysterious scavenger in what turns out to be a fictional story Lizzie wrote when she was 11. It seems to be a vision quest/shared hallucination from the cult drug from last week, so they decide to just ride it out. They go on a quest to find a Star Sword, which can only be wielded by the Chosen One, but when they do find it, none of them can wield it, not even Hope.
Their dad sucks as much in this vision as he does in real life, and ends up stealing the sword from them so they need to find a new way out. Lizzie wrote Hope as the Big Bad, but somewhere along the way the hallucination shifts into Hope’s story when Little Hope shows up to help them. When Hope wrote the story, the Big Bad was the Hollow, but now that she’s older she knows the thing in the suit will be different.
Hope defeats the Darth figure, saying she’s smarter and stronger, and then reveals it to be Malavore. She knows what she has to do: become the tribrid. She doesn’t want to be trapped in the eons of trauma she’s experienced for all eternity, but she is the Loophole. She is their only Hope. But the thing is, she’s not only Hope anymore. Now she’s Hope, Josie, and Lizzie. Plus a whole super squad. They panda promise she doesn’t have to do this alone and group hug.
Charmed 314: “Perfecti Is the Enemy of Good”
Written by Valerie Anne
This week’s episode was…interesting. Let’s get into it. Mel gets Perfecti Punched pretty early on so she has to go into a sleeping beauty magic coma to protect her while Maggie and Macy figure out how to stop them, and they leave Ruby to tend to her, which seems questionable since Ruby can’t get close enough to help her if she like, falls out of bed or something, but fine.
We’ll get back to this in a minute. Until then let’s go to my favorite part of the episode which is when Maggie has to pretend to be Abi because for SOME REASON despite EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH LAST EPISODE, Macy still doesn’t trust Abi enough to ask her for help. So as annoying as that is, we got to see Poppy Drayton go full Tatiana Maslany on us, playing not only Abi, and Maggie looking like Abi, but also Maggie looking like and pretending to BE Abi, which were three different characters entirely. It was beautiful.
Plus, when Maggie DOES call Abi for help, after nearly mucking things up, Abi is like, “You should have just asked me for help.” So maybe they’ll learn their lesson and let her HELP THEM.
Especially since one of the Charmed Ones might be out of commission for a while; you see, while she was in her magic coma, she met her future self who… asked her to carry her future baby? I guess. It’s actually kind of unclear what exactly happened except for the fact that Melonie Diaz is pregnant and they sure needed to find a way to get the lesbian witch surprise pregnant right quick. While I think a well-written-in pregnancy can work (looking at you, Wynonna) I kind of wish they had just hidden her in big sweaters and behind pillows because we barely know Ruby and we’re sure not ready to have a baby with her! But maybe that’s just me.
Betty 201: “Octopussy”
Written by Drew
My skater girls are back!! No show provided more immediate — and much needed — serotonin in 2020 than Betty. And while we are now nearing some sort of conclusion to the pandemic instead of being at its beginning, I’d say we still need it.
The new season picks up soon enough to the season one finale that Kirt is still in a cast but far enough that we’re now fully in the pandemic. There’s been a lot of debate about whether TV shows should incorporate Covid and I think they make the right call here. Betty feels specific in its setting and pandemic New York fits right in. Even the choice to have masks dangling from ears and resting on chins — annoying on other shows — feels truthful to these characters.
Two of those masks are attached to cutie pies Honeybear and Ash who have moved beyond their early courtship and are now at Babeland buying sex toys. Honeybear is anxious as shame-filled baby gays from religious homes tend to be during their first sex shop visit. Ash is having a blast.
I love how this episode shows the different ways Honeybear acts in various degrees of privacy. While she’s anxious in the sex shop, she’s totally open in bed later with Ash as they use their new vibrator and list off celebrity crushes. When Ash names a local bartender instead of a celebrity, we might expect the previously prude Honeybear to get jealous — but nope! Instead she suggests they go to the bar to spy on this queer hottie.
Then when they do go to the bar and begin a flirty game of Never Have I Ever with the bartender, we see yet another side of Honeybear. Quiet and coy, but with an undercurrent of confidence. It’s really nice to have a queer character grappling with shame in a way that’s not all-consuming. It’s really nice to have the queer-normative world of Betty back on our screens.
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