FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Tell Me What You’re Listening To So I Can Stop Listening to Bruno Mars

Hello, mason jars full of sweet tea! Welcome to this week’s Friday Open Thread, in which we spend our nights hanging out with each other instead of the rest of the world. From now on, we’ll have a Friday Open Thread every Friday, kind of like how I have bottomless mimosas every Sunday. But the good news is you don’t even need a last-minute Open Table reservation to be here! You just need to be you, and that’s beautiful.

I spent a remarkable amount of time holed up in my office this week, and next week doesn’t look much better. This will come as no surprise to the handful of people who regularly attempt to plan Happy Hour outings with me only to have me push back like sorry work is all I have in my life and I have been consumed by it. I know I should want to leave work more often, but my Pandora station makes it really hard for me to pack up and go, kind of like it also makes it hard for me to behave regularly in my workplace and not get caught singing, dancing, or otherwise jamming out at my small wooden desk. Now that I have a room to myself in the hallowed halls of my non-profit, my fate is sealed: I’m officially a total weirdo who listens to weirdo music all the time. 

Some of the songs I listen to are of the classic rock or folk variety, including but not limited to: Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Creedence Clearwater Revival, the Eagles, Led Zeppelin, and Lynryd Skynyrd. Sometimes, I just play Fleetwood Mac for an hour, too.

Occasionally, my supervisors come in while I’m listening to Beyoncé, Frank Ocean, Daft Punk, or Pharrel, which is okay, I guess. Except that time that the song in question was “Blow.” That was totally not okay.

Other times, I’m caught innocently listening to nineties music like Alanis Morisette, Natalie Imbruglia, Sugar Ray, and Hootie & the Blowfish, mostly because the dolphins make me cry.

The total fucking mind-blowing treasure of the bunch, though, is the Bruno Mars selections that come on my station — and my inability to let them go. I may liberally thumbs down other songs, but when Bruno Mars comes on something comes over me. Maybe it’s because we look alike.

High Quality Wallpaper

Not kidding.

Not kidding.

It might just be because he’s really adorable and sweet, though, which is embarrassing. Like, what if I genuinely relate to this dude? What if I enjoyed the Super Bowl more because of him, and not the Red Hot Chili Peppers, whom I worship endlessly? What if I’m just the kind of person who LISTENS TO BRUNO MARS? This is a full-blown crisis waiting to happen, and I can’t stop it. Nor do I want to, really, which is the worst part.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about you for a minute. LET’S TALK ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE. I can’t possibly be the only person who has ten songs stuck in her head at all times, and I think it’d be nice to know what’s stuck in yours. So tell me: What are you doing tonight? What are you listening to while you do that thing? What song is stuck in your head now and forever, amen? Did you know you could embed YouTube videos in the comments? I DIDN’T. But now we both do!*

And even if you’re not listening to music, you can probably help me to forget about the fact that I can’t stop listening to music by distracting me as I reach over to my record player at home to spin some tunes. Tell me about your day, and especially about your day with your pets! Don’t forget: ain’t no open thread like a Carmen open thread because I am going to reply to every single photo comment on this post with a picture of my dog. So tell me your deepest secrets, the story behind your change of life, or just what you ate for dinner tonight. Take your coat off and stay a while.

How To Post a Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL,wp_postsand then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code:

<img src=”http://imageurlgoeshere.jpg”>

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur.

*How To Post a Video In The Comments, Too:

1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.

2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.

3. Go forth and jam.

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. I second St. Vincent as I’m seeing her live tonight!

    Her latest album is pretty damn good (as is her previous work, you can’t go wrong). Plus, Annie Clark. I mean, enough said.

    Also, “iamamiwhoami” has been my obsession for months now.

  2. This week, I physically cannot stop myself from listening to the Son Lux “Easy” remix with Lorde (!!!!) and jazz guitarist Rafiq Bhatia. Get through the whole thing – it’s bonkers! Note: Son Lux is a solid, acclaimed composer without any pop star assistance.

    I usually like super depressing melancholy folky music, but the surprise pop artist that is grabbing me is Charli XCX’s 2012 mixtape Super Ultra. It is uneven, bizarre, dancey, and over the top ridiculous. Yes it came out in 2012 and I’m so so late to this because I was so turned off the godawful amateur cover art for the past year. Can anyone name the movie samples?

    Notable for 2014, the best combo of folk, rap, and electronic supergroup collaboration you’re going to hear all year: the peerless SISYPUS. Thank me later.

    Happy Friday ya’ll!!

  3. This is my parents dog, Cosmo. He’s a very stately gentleman with his beard and all. He’s pretty much the calmest dog I’ve ever known. He doesn’t like to cuddle though, like if you try to pet him for too long, or put him even a little bit near you on a couch, he will bolt. I still try though, lol.

  4. Sam Smith!!!!!!
    I love his song Money On My Mind so much it’s not even funny. Also I’ve Told You Now.
    Quadron is also faaaabulous. Hey Love is my jam.
    Nearly Morning by Luke Sital-Singh and Bones by Josh Record. Anything on Angel Haze’s new album (especially her thing with Sia and her thing with A Tribe Called Red.) Speaking of A Tribe Called Red, I loooooove their Bread & Cheese and Red Skin Girl. And John Doe by B.o.b feat. Priscilla.

  5. I have Sleater Kinney – All Hands on The Bad One stuck in my head right now, which I think I may have a quick listen to at work. Though I had Judas Priest – Victim of Changes stuck earlier in the day.

    And tonight I get to have more good food.

  6. These are the songs I have worn out over the past few weeks:

    “Waves,” Sleeper Agent

    “Bridges,” Broods

    “Recover,” Chvrches

    “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High,” Arctic Monkeys

    “Doses and Mimosas,” Cherub

    and “Blue Moon,” Beck

  7. I’ve had Genesis by Grimes stuck in my head aaall day; right now I’m trying to replace her with Gloria by Patti Smith.
    It’s still the afternoon here (Mexico) and I’m bored in my room because my gf cancelled. I might go skating by myself or something. Probably “something” (aka watching bad movies on cable).

  8. I am currently listening to The Muppets Most Wanted soundtrack. I went and saw it last night and it was amazing. I’ve listened to the soundtrack on repeat all day. I’m slowly packing to go home for spring break. I’m excited about the people I’m seeing over spring break, but not really for being home. At least I get to spend some time with an A Camp buddy :D

  9. Lorde
    Chris Young songs that remind me of my ex
    “I’ve Got A Dream” (from the Tangled soundtrack)

    Also I totally read “Hello mason jars of sweet tea” in Penelope Garcia’s voice. I feel like it’s something she would say.

  10. Since it is the end of the month and I’m kind of broke, this song is stuck on repeat in my head:

    (Hope it displays correctly, otherwise just use this link:

    In other news: I did a college course about writing in the last couple of month and today I got the news that I aced the final exam! Well, I’m not quite sure of how to use it to generate some cash, but I DID A THING! Yay me!

    (Ok, that probably sounded less pathetic in my mind. Nevermind.)

  11. My gf is obsessed with Age of Aquarius and keeps playing it…so that earworm is chomping on my brain.

    Also…I shouldn’t have watched American Horror story before bed tonight (it’s 23:09 in UK). Night all…I’m off to have nightmares now…or sing Age of Aquarius in my head til dawn.

  12. I’ve been listening to Channel Orange by Frank Ocean a lot, ‘good kid, m.A.A.d city’ by Kendrick Lamar and and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West. Plus a little Arctic Monkeys and Tegan and Sara of course!

  13. Just watching Star Wars with my roomies (um, the kind of roomies who are too young to vote and call me Baba).

    I’m only listening to the commentary around me. Nothing gets stuck in your head like, “Where’s my Elmo book?” When it’s been on repeat for 15 minutes.

  14. I’ve had Sara Bareilles’s Brave in my head for approximately forever. Also, there aren’t enough pets in this thread yet so here’s one of my sister’s kittens (which I found and forced her to adopt):

  15. I’ve been really obsessed with the lyric videos released by The Julie Ruin, especially this one: but I’ve actually been listening to The Screaming Females a ton because they are opening for The Julie Ruin in Chicago on April 9th and I’m going!!

    I’m hiding in my room watching Blue is the Warmest Color and writing this, my first ever post on Autostraddle, after creating my account. Whew!

  16. I’m listening to Serebro, a Russian girl group that makes Tatu look like nuns.

    Otherwise, I just came home from an evening spent with some friends at school and we walked like 5km to watch one of our profs give a seminar at a local historical society for funsies. My boots apparently were not made for walking.

  17. It’s Saturday here, and my biggest plan today is to go and buy milk, but let me tell you about my Friday!

    I went to the Dr in the morning and got some surprise blood tests done (‘Have you had breakfast?’ ‘No, sorry, I-‘ ‘EXCELLENT!’) then went to get my hair cut. I didn’t get asked what I wanted – just what number to set the clippers on. She gave me the same butch-y cut I got the last time I went in, all the while telling me how perfect my hair was, how much she loved it, and that I should go to her place so she could play with it. She also made me a second coffee after some of the hair she snipped off got into my first cup (yay, free coffee!)

    Then I got waxed which… was a thing.

    Later that night I went to the relaunch for the Pride Club at my university. They’ve just rebooted the club and I have a friend on the council for it who also suggested I join – and I’m keen. I met a bunch of amazing new people, caught up with some folk I hadn’t seen in ages, and got to hang out with a bunch of queer people I adore. Since I didn’t really have that community when I came out or was coming to terms with everything – it’s really nice to be surrounded by them now!

    We talked about lots of different stuff ranging from social justice to sex toys and at one point we talked about how I’m trying to get to A-Camp. It was really good to talk to people who completely understand why I would want to go to this thing in America, why it’s important to me, and support me on it. One girl joked that they should get together and fund me to go (aww!)

    Then when it got late and the guy asked us to leave so he could go home to bed, a bunch of us went to a Spanish Chocolate place for dessert. I cheaped out and got a Spanish Iced Coffee but that was nice, the company was fantastic, and all in all it was an incredible night. The Pride Club is off to an excellent start and hopefully it’ll carry on strong throughout the year.

    So that was my Friday, and it was fantastic, and I am happy :)

  18. I’ve had a wicked cold/headache/sinus infection thing going on for the past couple of days, so I’m using that as an excuse to binge-watch The Sopranos, which I’ve never seen before. The writing is so good – “Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this!”

    At the moment I’m listening to Joni Mitchell’s Blue album, and trying to work up the energy to get out of bed and do my morning yoga (it’s 9am where I am).

  19. best open thread ever. i never shut up about music and i need an outlet other than sending my friends endless links and annoying the shit out of them.

    right now i can’t get enough of this:

    and milo:
    (“i don’t know much about being and nothingness but i might just be a being of nothingness” woah)

    also, grieg is the perfect soundtrack to nice spring weather:

  20. Hi. So I know this is a music thread and all, but I am a little drunk (happy hour just ended) and kind of just want to… vent a little? Basically, I just realized (over a long period of time) that I’m gay, which is fine with me except I’m 24 and have only been with men for the past 7 years. I’m obviously thrilled I’ve figured it out, but there’s still a part of me that’s terrified that this is just a phase, or that I’ll sleep with a woman (which I’ve never done before) and not like it, or… one of many possible super scary outcomes that is maybe unlikely but still freaks me out. So I was kind of wondering… has anyone been here before? Do you have any advice on how to stop worrying about all these weird things? All of my friends have been super supportive, which is great, but I think getting out of my own head is going to be the hard part here. Anyway. Vent over. :)

    • I totally felt like that when I figured it out! Don’t worry. However you’re feeling right now is completely normal and valid. I eventually stopped feeling weird when a few months went by and I was still gay, and that it’s no wonder it sometimes takes a while to realize you’re gay, because a) people change over the course of a lifetime, and b) there is huge societal pressure to be straight. So just read Autostraddle nonstop and pretend everyone is gay, and then maybe you’ll feel better about it? :)

  21. I’ve been rediscovering my love for listening to music in solitude. And pretending that you asked me to make a mixtape of the best new songs that will eventually worm their way into your head. And they all happen to have female singers! Here you are, these tunes are handpicked just for you:

    Cate Le Bon – “Are You With Me Now?” – She’s Welsh! And smoking while wheel throwing, yea.

    Warpaint – “Keep it Healthy” – Super lush, dark and full of movement. Produced by Nigel Godrich so it’s real slick.

    London Grammar – KEXP Live Performance – Strongly reminiscent of The xx, yet with their own budding sound. This is the first time I’ve seen Cheryl Waters utterly speechless/out of breath after a performance, and you know she’s sat with tons of talented bands in the studio during her career.

    Angel Olsen – “White Fire” – Stark meditation that grows on you. Female Leonard Cohen, anyone?

    Dum Dum Girls – “Are You Okay?” – Poppy shoegaze. There’s also a new short film by Bret Easton Ellis with this as the title track on Youtube.

    Wet – “No Lie” – (Presumably hipstery) Brooklyn band making downtempo R&B.

    Lykke Li – “No Rest For Wicked” – Yay it’s new Lykke Li! Let’s all watch her new Swedish thriller film.

    Marika Hackman – “Itchy Teeth” – This girl is so melancholy and sweet. Mad props to her for doing a respectable cover of Joanna Newsom’s 81 on this EP.

  22. Is Bruno Mars uncool? I was completely unaware of this. I guess it’s another one of those things I never get told and thankfully work out using context before I embarrass myself, like “scissoring doesn’t happen” and the correct pronunciation of ‘Haim’.

    • and apparently pasting code directly from youtube is a thing that isn’t working right now. totally sober/embarrassed.

      anyway, the video was vienna by ariana grande.
      also agree with everyone who suggested haim, they’re wonderful.

  23. I have been obsessed with HAIM since September. I love them. They sound like Summer and nostalgia. My favorite songs are Go Slow, Forever, Falling, and Don’t Save Me. The Wire is also amazing. This is there video for Forever. You may have heard it in Targets new commercial.

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