FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: How Do You Prefer to Spice Up Your Life

tea party (just image)

image by rory midhani

Welcome to this week’s Friday Open Thread! A place for friendship. A place for photos. A place for gifs and stories about your date or not-date or work or week or cat/dog or life.

I haven’t hosted this internet party in a few months and, like Carmen last week, have just returned from visiting the place my girlfriend lives (Los Angeles) for two months to the place that I live (Montreal) and am coping mostly by workaholism and reading everything I can get my hands on and listening to The 1975.

I’ve also been playing a lot of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood because it’s just like being in Los Angeles, sort of.


I have also been going for walks! Mostly because I do not have air conditioning and it’s been nice out and anything is better than being inside. Look at this epic tree-lined sidewalk.

I have been away from Montreal too long to remember what this park is called.

I have been away from Montreal too long to remember what this park is called.

Being home also means I have all this time that I have recently been using for making out but that I can now use for catching up on ’90s pop culture, which is why tonight, I’m watching Spice World, a movie I only failed to see when it came out because my parents were so worn out on nine-year-old me insisting we listen to Spice every minute of every day that they somehow forgot to tell me it existed.

Spice Girls!!!

SO! Which Spice Girl was your favorite or least favorite? Do you think Spice World‘s critical reception, by which I mean it’s 3.2 rating on imbd, is deserved or a travesty? If you are not spending your Friday being 17 years late to this party, how is your week going? What are you reading or who are you doing or where are you going — or emphatically not going — later? Show me your pictures and gifs and ill- or brilliantly conceived poetry about what you’ve been up to and what you’re doing right this second and anything else you want!

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. I guess my favorite is Mel B, mostly because she on Americas got Talent and it’s a show I watch my family, and grandmother.

    Last week I got the number of this woman off wing ma’am. I’m flirting a bit with her and she with me. I dunno what happened(maybe it’s me or maybe it’s her who knows) and this week nothing. Trying to dating as a genderqueer and trans* identifying person is very hard, limiting and confusing. My friend ask why not just date straight woman, but in my experience most don’t get what genderqueer is or let alone the fact I have dysphoria about not having butch femme body. I’ll be in my corner(office) sitting here quietly listing some Smiths.

    • I am the worst at dating, but I wish you all the best in the strange world that is other humans. (And sit in the corner with you!)

      • Thank you, do want some vegan chocolate chip cookies, my sister made me? They go well with confusion and almond milk.

  2. Between playing Kim K and talking to Stef about Kim K I’m not sure how any Autostraddle staffers have accomplished anything this week

    • I am shockingly grateful for how long it takes to get energy, because it’s the only thing that allowed me to have an adult human life today.

  3. I’ve been in wedding recovery this week. Three weddings in four week! First my older sister, then my bestest friend ever (since we were 5), then I catered a reception for 30 (after the most super Catholic wedding- well except the fact that they’ve lived together for like 10 years).
    There have been so many feelings…
    Also, I made my friend Dani’s cake (see the pic)

  4. Our year long goal of one day seeing the dog and cat cuddle is slowly coming true.

    And that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Everyone else from work is at Comic-Con and I’m just sitting here playing Sunless Sea.

  5. As evidenced by my Autostraddle profile handle, obviously I think that 3.5 imdb rating is b.s. And even though I pretend to get heated that I ALWAYS had to be Scary Spice and/or the black Pussycat, I secretly loved it.

    I never went for that unfortunate hairstyle choice though. Even 6 year old me knew that wasn’t fly.

  6. I’m very tired, as I’ve been sleeping little because I’ve been both inking pages for a small zine I’m making for a comic convention, and drawing many other things for a tv show, plus having to deal with college finals. Freelancing is tough. Basically I haven’t had any sort of social life whatsoever for the last month, much less any time for actually trying dating ladies (which kinda sucks.)

    In short, I need alcohol, and a week worth of sleep. Cheers!

  7. i was all set to go to the grocery store like an effing grownup, but then there was a thunderstorm and i couldn’t take a shower, so i did battle with some stupid “i’m a feminist but all the feminists are mean to me and they suck” boy and i was mean to him. in my pajamas.

  8. Ok, so I have A LOT OF FEELINGS about Spice World. And the Spice Girls. The Spice Girls were a very important part of my early childhood (I was three years old when the song “Wannabe” came out). At first, I really identified with Sporty because I liked sports and because she tended to wear the most clothing (and sneakers instead of heels). While Sporty still has a special place in my heart, Scary eventually kind of eclipsed her as my favorite. And Scary was DEFINITELY my favorite of the Spice Girls Barbies I owned. I also had an “unofficial guide to everything Spice” in which I learned that Emma’s celebrity crush is George Clooney (or at least, was as of 1998).

    But yes, Spice World. That movie is amazing, and sorely underrated. It’s filled with friendship, aliens, a subtle critique of celebrity culture, and musical good fun. What’s not to love? Also, I once wrote a paper in which I drew parallels between Spice World and the heroic journeys in ancient epic. My love of the Spice Girls knows no bounds.

  9. Sometimes — okay, most of the time — this is an embarrassing thing to say, but I was into Posh Spice. To be fair, I was 5. (< -- the very definition of babygay) I'm now fairly certain I bought a Spice Girls CD for a quid from a charity shop recently but I don't remember packing any CDs into any of the suitcases I've just brought home. I wonder if I accidentally unloaded it onto one of the many people I've been giving away all my stuff to over the past week? If so, I hope they treasure it forever and ever. Here is a very important photo I took in Dublin last weekend:

    • Posh was my favourite, I was into that (I thought) sleek, sophisticated look when I was little. These days it’s all just nostalgia. And that photo reminded me to get some water! So, thanks!

      • oh shit. tag team effort there. I should drink water too if I do not want a headache in the morning. ty!

  10. I’m sorry, I have no Spice Girl feelings to share.

    My day has been partly spent trying to organize a menu for our upcoming backpacking trip (sidenote: why is this so hard, no matter how many times I do it? How did I reach the age of 38 and my first reaction to meal planning is still all HOW DO I FOOD? WHAT DO HUMANS EAT?). We’re going here:

    • Ooohhhhh it looks as though you wouldn’t even need food because you would be floating as you observe the world through eagle eyes ***(but please do take food with you for when you return to earth)***

    • What is the approximate location of that cabin? It looks so idyllic… I want to go to there.

      • @Trout Fishing in America: Sorry for the late reply – just got back! It is Silver Spray cabin, located in Kokanee Glacier Provincial Park in B.C., Canada.

  11. Spice World is the cinematic masterpiece of the ages and I will brook no argument in this regard.

    • I wish I could upvote this like a thousand times. Because as with many of the gay icons – whether or not *I* feel that way toward them, I’m so so glad that *somebody* has this sort of passion about them.

  12. Totally had a poster of all the Spice Girls on my wall when I was like 8, how were my parents shocked when I came out?

    Today one of my collaborators sent me an email at 5:05pm (on a Friday? who does that?) that may invalidate every bit of science I did this week and in an hour I am going to go ignore it to go celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday. Last time I celebrated a birthday with these people I made some regrettable decisions so let’s hope future me doesn’t have present me…

  13. Posh was my favorite. Her accent was the sexiest and I’ve apparently ALWAYS had a thing for brunettes in heels.
    This week I’m just packing up to move to Chicago next Friday. Tonight I’m in NYC having dinner with a friend, seeing a movie (Lucy? Cuz Scarlett Johannsen is hot), then crashing at her place and having brunch in the morning. :)

  14. Confession: I never really liked the Spice Girls. I think I was a bit too old for them when they started up and also aggressively counter-culture…

    However, I was forced to watch Spice World somewhat recently and it was… definitely an experience.

  15. Omg, Spice World. Am I in 5th grade again?

    But srsly first off, hey hi, I need to thank everyone who replied to me in last week’s open thread. You guys almost made me cry. Thank you so much for listening and being compassionate and empathetic. Not everyone I know is apparently like that, as I learned this week. My psych nurse “friend” decided I needed some “tough love” and I went dead inside at it, as it was basically like confirmation of fears, among other stuff. Of course, I shared it with some ppl–hey guys hey–and got actual support and tons of “fuck her and fuck that” that I think made my next day one I could handle and actually feel ok during. <33333

    My Dr put me on trial meds and told me I came close to her hospitalizing me. The side effects happened almost immediately, and today ive been out of breath, so my Dr wants me to stop using the meds for the weekend and see what happens. Meanwhile, stupid stuff said at work continues to be like tiny knives, since I don't feel comfortable saying what's up, tho I did call my Dr's office at work and said the name of the meds. My one manager knows I'm in therapy bc I emailed him saying I can't sacrifice it. Everyone else is clueless, so sometimes they say shit that is. Makes me twitchy. I dunno. It's been a strange week.

    Thank you thank you thank you again to everyone who's talked to me at all. It means so so much, really. <333333333333333333333333333333333

    • I am so so glad to hear from you, that is the entire reason I checked this open thread. My gf commented to you last week and I wanted to say something too from the perspective of being the one with a cooperative brain who very much loves people with brains who are often mean to them (does that make sense? I hope that makes sense) and then I didn’t and I have regretted it all week.

      I hope this is just the start of an upward journey for you. Please don’t get discouraged, even though I can only imagine how monumentally hard it is, please keep at it. You deserve it and you are not whiney or pathetic anymore than my diabetic brother or my uncle with cancer or any other person with an illness who talks about being sick. You are strong and wonderful and amazing and I hope you can remember that as best as you can, every single day. And if you take hugs from strangers I would like to give you one!

      • Ahh oh my god you’re so nice aaa of course I will accept hugs. Aah omg. Thank you, you’re so kind I can’t even. Aaa <33333333

      • I appreciate the idea of being the one with the cooperative brain who loves someone with a brain that is mean to them. Sometimes my brain is a bit harsh, but mostly reasonable, but my wife’s brain is often mean to her. I try to tell her brain to be nice to the woman who I love, but it only sometimes helps. So thanks sterling_sky and take care caitlin.

  16. Am I the only one who was just totally put off by all the sex in the songs? “GIRL POWER! I wanna make love to you, baby.” Um… no, actually, no I do not. Because I am 12. And latently gay.

    Well, straddlers, this has been A Week in a year of Weeks, and I am all colors of done. I’m headed over to my best bro’s to play THIS bastion of glory:

  17. Posh Spice aka Victoria Adams was the first in a long line of brunettes that made me blush. My reason for her being my favourite? “Well, she’s the prettiest one, so obviously she’s my favourite.” This was my basis for all of my favourite TV shows and celeb-obsessions up until umm yesterday.

    These are the flowers we impulsively bought for ourselves when my girlfriend and I went on a snack run at 1 in the morning. AREN’T THEY PRETTY.

      • I give up. This is why I’ve never bothered with a photo before. Are you supposed to remove the quotation marks with embedding? WHERE IS MY I.T. GIRLFRIEND WHEN I NEED HER??

        • Those flowers are badass!

          (You’re supposed to have exactly — for next time, remember the http and forget the extra punctuation.)

        • I copy and pasted following the instructions, so I don’t know what went wrong but thank you!

  18. The Spice Girls were my first big concert experience. I was a 16 year old surrounded by hordes of children with their parents. What a mind-blowing show. Back then I was crazy about Victoria, but eventually came around to Mel C. I mean, you guys remember these days, right? Plus that scouse accent is pretty irresistible.

    I used to be so embarrassed about liking the Spice Girls. One of the good things that comes with age (in my experience) is learning to be unapologetic about the things you take delight in. Oh and Spice World the movie is comic genius. The cameos alone make the film worth it (Jennifer Saunders, anyone?).

    • RT “One of the good things that comes with age (in my experience) is learning to be unapologetic about the things you take delight in.”

    • I totally bought that album from poundland last year. Seriously a brilliant bargain, i listen to it all the time. Mel C was deffo the best singer of the lot of them. And the one I would most want to chat to now.

  19. Sporty was the best, I always wanted to be her and my feelings were validated when four friends and I won a CD for our combined spice girls fancy dress at our primary school leavers’ disco

    in other news I have a new amazing girlfriend and I finally just came out to my dad half an hour ago after nearly 2 years of being out to everyone else

    today is a good day, and it seems like life can’t get much better than it has been lately!

    I love you all


  20. This week I’ve been preparing for my exit from Virginia. This has meant a lot of appointments and packing away a seemingly endless number of books.

    The most exciting thing is that there is now another beagle at the house that I’m in the process of leaving. My roommates already have a 10-yr-old beagle named Eddie and are now in a foster-to-adopt program with a 3-yr-old named Beasley. The dogs are getting along well, although I’m not sure that Ed has realized that this is more than a weekend play date.

  21. I think I saw Spice World a really long time ago, but I was born too late to really be a part of the Spice Girl craze. Also, I have yet to play Kim K’s game on account of the fact it seems not my style.

    I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, so I have no plans for tonight. Other then play the Destiny Beta and watch Netflix.

    This week I saw the girl I have a thing with, again. I’m not sure if it was a date though, because neither of us actually SAID it was a date; however she wore a dress and I wore a bowtie (we ended up matching accidentally-her dress was blue and so was my shirt), we went out for dinner and I paid, and then we went back to my house and watched Mean Girls and cuddled and kissed so. I mean, I think that’s a date right? She’s leaving at the end of the summer for school though, so I’m hesitant to let anything happen because I’m not sure either of us could do a long-distance relationship. Yet I’m usually incapable of leaving my heart out of things to just have a summer fling. Plus we click really well. I guess right now I’m just trying to go with the flow.

    On another note, she’s planning on getting a tattoo over a scar on her chest that her cat left- which is pretty gay and also really cute.

  22. Initial reactions to Spice World:

    1. Mel B and Emma are holding hands?!

    2. I did not realize Alan Cumming was in this.

    3. Someone tried too hard to make a tour bus pillow fight happen, but had never seen pillows before, or fights, or really humans.

    4. I am relieved that the apparent villain in this film still owns a cat. Never trust a villain without a cat. Never trust a villain without a cat either, I suppose.

    • 5. I would like to see more of photoshoot butch/femme spice.

      6. The open dismissal the spice girls display toward nearly all men around them is an inspiration.

      7. Scary Spice in a space suit: related to the alien subplot or the most progressive fashion ever?

  23. You gays, I am currently in Philly in a hospital waiting room. I’ll be here all night, and back tomorrow morning. My young, otherwise healthy, and physically fit uncle is recovering from a random, emergency open heart surgery, because life is unfair.

    The only available reading materials in this waiting room are a book called The Golfer’s Mind, and lots of shitty magazines. There are also some pamphlets about dealing with grief and loss.

    The lights are too bright. There’s so much beeping of machines. Hospitals smell so awful. I hate it here.

    This moment I am really freaking grateful for wifi and having something better to read. I’ll keep checking back and reading this open thread, once I finish reading every article in Riese’s Things I Read That I Love.

    The Spice Girls are so important to me! I think they made me gay. My favorite as a kid was Baby Spice. But I think I always had a crush on Sporty, and also Ginger, and Scary. Hell, I loved all of them except for Posh. Posh is such a wet blanket.

    • Hugshugshugs I really really hope it went well.
      Sending lots of love and strength your way.

  24. I just came home from one of the most boring night ever. My only thought throughout the evening was this:

    At least there was alcohol.

    Also this week I had to come to terms with the fact that my best friend and I have slowly grown apart.. our friendship is just not the same as it used to be and I don’t know how to change that. I don’t even know if I can do anything about it honestly. God, I think this is worse than a break up.
    Butttt, next week I finally go on holiday, so I can look forward to that!

    And I liked Posh Spice, #sorrynotsorry

  25. I moved a couple days ago, so I’m in unpacking hell. so many boxes. I’ve got my priorities right though, shelving my books while my bedroom is a disaster.

    I may or may not go to a going away party for a friend later. I kinda have a bad attitude about it. I won’t have internet in my place til next week though, so no netflix to keep me company. :(

    • important update: I went to the party and it was actually kinda fun and now I’m a little tipsy. highlight of the evening, drunk guy singing “creep” by radiohead in a Kermit the frog voice. what?

      • I went to my thing on friday and it was fun, too! Highlight of my evening was Thai Curry Pizza, holy shit that is a thing YES


    I was so obsessed with the Spice Girls at a time when all my friends were obsessed with NBA players. I liked them all except Baby Spice, she was just creepy.

    Today I bought a lemon tart and pretended I was going to share it but I think I’m going to eat the whole thing myself. That’s how my week went.

    To make myself feel better, here’s a pic of my soon-to-be adopted kitty, Sir Topham Cat. I feel like I’m bringing home a human baby, lol. Is it weird to make a baby registry and have a kitten shower?

  27. i’m torn between posh and sporty because I’m a little bit of both.
    as for the movie…if -3.2 were an option…or 0 just in terms of merit. but
    10/10 for childhood memories
    i just remember it had no plot but we would often forward the VHS tape to the concert scenes to have a dance party to, to the point that the screen eventually would get those fuzzy stripes and the sound would go BMM KCKcKCKCK.

  28. This week was a little weird. I finally met my girlfriend’s parents, which went fantastic and I felt really silly having ever worried. I spent a couple of nights with them on a nearby island, drinking wine and eating at places I feel like I’ll never afford. Financial insecurity is making me way paranoid about money – more so than usual – and putting a damper on everything I do lately. I signed up to test like three new apps this week for a company in town just to make grocery money, and I feel weird/blue about it. Blargh I hate complaining. Ugh. Here’s a face to match the mood.

    • also I missed the whole Spice Girl thing. I’m a terrible, terrible child of my era. I get it.

      • it’s cool; you are not the only one. my sister who was 1 when their first album came out is more into them than I ever was.

        also: sorry about your money feelings. money sucks. glad meeting the parents went well though!

      • It’s never too late!

        Also, with your consent, many air hugs regarding your life things.

    • I have lots of beets and soy beans… if you need some? And stop that putting up a pouty face to make our hearts melt for you? Arrrrgh! ;)

  29. Today I found out that this work thing I worked my ass off on turned out badly because the photographer was shitty, and it was expensive mentally and financially and ruined through no fault but hers, and I am tired and sick and I have to go out tonight because my friend is only in town for a couple days and I’m working/busy every other night, and I’m feeling super lonely lately, and also I would really really appreciate getting laid but I am living at home half the time and house sitting half the time and there’s no one available within 20 miles of me on stupid tinder, and I’ve been desperately trying to get a car for the past three months but I don’t have a ton of money and it’s hard, AND my hitachi has a giant crack down the side and I’m worried I’m going to have to get a new one soon, and none of my problems are really that bad but today I just feel UGH everytHING IS tErRiBlE

    So anyway I’m not in the greatest mood. I’m even wearing the outfit I feel super cute in but it’s just not working today. Anyone up for some frustrated crying before/possibly during sex? Eh? Ehhhh?

  30. This time next week, I will be in the States visiting the American girlfriend I haven’t seen since January. And in two and a bit weeks’ time, off to San Francisco. I am so excited I can’t even.

  31. What I LOVE about this being posted on FB is now my “recommended” section is blowing up with Spice Girls Videos and scenes from the movie.


  32. In response to which Spice Girl I liked the most I would have to say the A-Camp family band. Especially Riese. The performance you guys. ♫♪Colors of the world!! Spice up your life!!! Every boi and every grrrl spice up your life!! People of the world spice up your life!! ♫♪♫♫♫♪♪

    This week has been hectic to say the least. Last night the bow tie post in the FB page made my day because I LOVE BOW TIES. Kudos to the ones who saw all the ones I brought and wore at Camp!! =) Let’s see. Why else was I busy this week? Oh yeah!!! I’m teaching classes!!! OMG!! I have this blue polo I bought that goes with my striped tie and it totes looks like I’m running for mayor. I’m planning on wearing it to class just to throw everyone off. LOL. AND THEN. AND THEN. WAIT. So last week I got my rims. I waited 3 months for my rims from Japan because Work Wheels and I finally got them on the car. I still need to put in some coilovers so it’ll lower and I can drive like a happy crazy person on mountain roads =)

    Also, I hope everyone has had a wonderful week. And that you’re all doing great and stay amazing everyone!

    What my wife does to the cat.

    That time I ran for mayor.


    • hm im not sure if i put in the right links or did the html right today but if someone could fix it i would be so happy and extremely grateful!

    • Super late reply ~ I would TOTALLY vote for you as mayor!! You would be the most awesomely positive mayor ever!!!

    • every time I scroll past your comment, I can’t help but read “iPutin” and then ponder the possibilities of, like, cyborg Putin.

      I dunno, man. anyway. sharp tie!

  33. Oh, man. My friends and I would always play “Spice Girls” when we were little. I was usually Posh, one friend was always Ginger, and my other friend would alternate between Scary and Sporty. The Scary/Sporty friend would always insist on making a “surprise entrance” onto the stage (read: my bed) and would leap wildly on at some point in each song, which we’d have playing in the background. One time she knocked me off and I hit my head on my toy chest. Fun times.

    At that time I loved Posh Spice. I don’t know why, I think she just appealed to my desire to be more grown up than I was, and I thought she was sophisticated.

    In other news, I just joined Autostraddle! Hooray! And I’m currently struggling to get out of bed and read all my textbooks because ack, second semester has returned. And one of my fish is horribly sick so I’m having to medicate him. It’s looking grim, though. Here’s a picture of him as he used to be, before his fins were mutilated by this awful cotton wool disease:

  34. When the Spice Girls were out I was listening to Placebo and sewing PVC corsets for a living….
    Now all I want, all I really really want, is to come home to my beautiful wife and the luscious sound of Nina Simone in the air!

  35. I used to be that super annoying kid who didn’t like anything popular, Spice Girls included. It started way back in elementary school, I think it may have been a defense mechanism for being too poor to actually afford to buy in to popular culture (didn’t have a tv, couldn’t afford to go to the movies etc), but maybe not. Maybe I was hipster before it was cool.

    Until school starts I spend most days missing my girlfriend and cuddling with my roommates cat, this week has been no different. I did make my computer background a quote from Cara’s article about St. Vincent (What St. Vincent Has Been Telling Us All Along: Gender in Juxtaposition), which brings me joy and affirmation every time I see it.

    Today I found out that, even though I’m going to visit her in a week to go to a lesbian dance party, my girlfriend is going to hop on a train and see me early!!! So it’s been a pretty great day.

    Me and the kitty (hopefully this works?)

  36. Ginger Spice. All the way. As a fellow ginger she gave me hope for… Something.
    I literally watched the closing ceremonies of the London Olympics JUST to see the Spice Girls Perform. (Spoiler they were great, the rest was bad)
    Other than that– I just got home from a very promising first date. So life is pretty good here :)

  37. I’ve been too lazy for my own good this week. Hopefully next week will be more productive. At least this very nice person at the grocery store said i had great hair today. That was unexpected and very nice. :)

    • Unexpected compliments from strangers are WONDERFUL. Always motivates me to compliment people whenever I go out :D

  38. Well let’s just say the college application process has already started to haunt me. It’s half terrible half exciting? So yeah that’s basically all I’ve been up to. :)
    Unfortunately I don’t know much about the Spice Girls..

  39. Not a Spice Girls fan, sorry to say. I was way more into bands like Hole, Garbage, Alanis and Tori Amos around the time they hit the scene.

    I discovered this week that my crush is pretty damn straight, so that kinda sucks. I found out at a party we were both attending. Then I had a few too many and started coming on to this lovely lady rather, um, obviously? I think I came off desperate in that I’ve been trying to find a big rock to hide under and live there for the rest of my days. My friend tells me to relax that I’m probably overthinking it. Which is 100% true, but still. She added me on FB but I can’t shake off what a possibly horrible first impression I made.

    Now I’m gonna decompress by watching Project Runway.

    • I love your gif of Homer disappearing into the hedge! hehe Thank you for the big smile!

  40. Sexting with a crush while eating a giant serving of vegan poutine. Should I send him a photo of my food baby? That’s sexy, right? :P

    • Operation Sext is not going well. I was about to take a sexy photo in the full length mirror of my hotel room then the cleaner came in … Awkward.

  41. I just had the most *beautiful* evening ~ my lovely wife made tacos, we went on a walk through the neighborhood, had a hummingbird hover inches from me whilst dipping into crocosmias, came home and had candlelit teatime on the porch, whilst an acrobatic bat flitted in the twilight.
    ***_@// happiness***

      • Ohmygod I LOVE our porch – our friend built it for us, and we’ve been living on it since. We are still going to be sitting on it in the middle of hailstorms, blizzards and torrential downpours. I have to finish painting it though…
        Come have a drink with us anytime!

  42. I broke my foot, so I’ve been hobbling around. I actually went to a gay bar tonight, but it proved too much for Bruce (the name of my boot/brace/thing).

    I’m currently reading “Are You My Mother” by Alison Bechdel, which is super amazing.

    Tonight, we had 2 shows, and tomorrow is 2 shows. 8 show week, y’all!

    • Wait, you broke your foot? How did I find out about this on Autostraddle and not Facebook? :D

    • I feel sad cuz I can’t see your images, so I’m just gonna assume it went awesomely. congrats on the bravery either way!

    • Oh no! I can’t tell whether this is an awesome story or a seriously upsetting one! I’m so so so so so hoping it’s the former and congratulations either way!!

      • Congrats on coming out! Some relatives informed me at dinner last night that they knew I’d come out and were proud of me. I’m not sure how they found out, but it’s nice to have positive reactions! Wishing you the same. <3

  43. How do spice up my life? CINNAMON.
    Cinnamon on everything.
    It’s the only spice that the U.S. palate will find delicious in both sweet and savory dishes. I do not claim knowledge of the whole world but super obviously cinnamon is for meat and and dessert in the MENA.
    Put cinnamon on your poultry, you won’t regret it.

  44. I went out for dinner with my dear heart and she casually announced that she had booked our civil partnership. It’s at 9.10am on a Tuesday morning, apparently there’s some deal where it’s only £50 if you do it then – sweet! Now we just have to find two people to come along and bear witness.

    Basically we’re doing it because we wanna have a kid, and if we’re not ‘married’ then we can’t both be legal parents. So for us, right now, it’s just a bit of bureaucracy which will enable us to start a family.

    THAT SAID we are gonna wear *sailor costumes*.


  45. Then we came home drunk in the middle of the night and decided to empty our toilets (we both live on boats and have porta-potties that have to be emptied each week at a ‘special’ place) and I had a spillage and it was horrendous.

    Our relationship is so damn romantic.

  46. I’m moving to a city where I only sort of speak the language. I’m trying, and I’ve been told I’m really cute speaking basic German, but it is really hard to get anyone to respond to my emails about the rooms they’re letting. Advice? Anyone have any experience with this? Maybe I should stop trying to email them in German and do it in English instead? It just seems rude to do that when the website and ads are all in German…

    • Also, no thoughts about the Spice Girls. I was like, way too cool for that when they were big, but now I’m thinking I should see the movie.

    • I recently did the whole moving to Germany thing without really speaking German. I recommend: Don’t email, call instead. Scarier perhaps, but much more effective regardless of language. Start in German, switch to English if you need to. And remember that “halb neun” is half past 8. Good luck! Which city?

  47. Take 2!





  48. I am pretty into Sporty+Scary Spice, although my ex-gf/best friend (???) has always been one to show me the beauties of Ginger Spice. this is our current relationship in a nutshell:

    this week has gone from one of the worst to somewhat alright since I was essentially dumped on Sunday by my gf of 3 and half years (who I still live with…with no solidified plans of moving…also she is like my first lurv, so ugh). It’s been weird. And really hard. And sometimes alright. Mostly weird. But this community has eased the transition and provided great comfort to my heartbreak. for that, I thank y’all. And maybe it’s because I got some tinder matches and my ex (my friend? I don’t know) still loves me in some way, I am starting to feel like it isn’t as bad as it may have seemed.

    • That sounds incredibly tough and confusing but with lots of potential for beauty and joy. Hope it’s not *too* weird in the moment…

  49. I’m not really a fan of the Spice Girls, sorry.
    This week I’ve been dealing with getting out of a really bad (read controlling, manipulative) situation and I feel like this right now.

    Also, the most wonderful person I’ve ever met wants to be with me despite this baggage which is literally the best thing that has happened in my life! There aren’t words or a gif to describe how happy she makes me or how wonderful she is!

  50. I always wanted to be Scary Spice, but my friends always made me be Ginger Spice (which seemed like a crock of bull, all she “does” is have red hair…).

    Went to see CLLAW (Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers) last night!!!! It was AMAZING!!!

  51. Ohh I love the Spice Girls :)!! One of my favorite memories of that era is when my dad surprising my sister and I by taking us to go see the Spice Girls movie.

    I love sporty spice

  52. Well, I tried the OK Cupid thing and wrote to someone about having coffee. Like, really took care and I didn’t even get a response after the girl checked out my profile, Not the first time that has happened.
    Now, cameras hate me like crazy, and that’s ok, cause I need to get a feel for another Human being, and could do altogether without pictures myself, but seriously?
    I used to be on gayparship and got turned down once, literally, after we had set a date because the other girl didn’t like my picture.
    Now, of course, I could, instead of using a greasy snapshot taken on vacation sometime, take a decent picture, that shows off my great arms and put on make up, and wow people, because, actually, I am far from ugly, but I’d prefer for someone to like my humor and quirkiness and pleasantly surprise them, when we do meet. And what I was trying to say is this:Wow. I am stunned about how much this has been putting me down, how disappointed I am, and I guess I will have to resign myself to falling in Love with straight girls at work, then.
    Of course, I could also just put up a decent picture, or several, enacting cool hobbies and traveling to interesting locations, and write “I am an M.D.” into every other line on my resumee, but, but… I would just really like for someone to have effing coffee with and discuss Kurt Vonnegut,damnit.
    Sorry for the rant, I shall abstain from dating websites in the future.
    Maybe it’s time to join a book club,instead..

    • My tip: if you can’t find a good book club, start a good book club. Also, I totally second the book club idea.

    • I completely agree with everything you’re saying. Especially the coffee and Kurt Vonnegut part :D

  53. how to know if the friday open thread is taking over your life:

    realize you had a dream last night about commenting on autostraddle.

    • This is everything.

      I came out on a Wednesday, immediately wanted to tell the rest of my family – aka Autostraddle – and endured the wait for the thread. 48 hours is a long time, especially when it’s more like 72 because you live in the Southern Hemisphere and probably spend waaay to much time on Autostraddle as is.

      • worth the wait though! I’m sure I’m not the only one who reveled in your masterful use of gifs + cheered for the good news. :)

  54. Ginger all the way. Me and my sister and the neighborhood girls had several Spice Girl tribute troops over the years, and I was always Ginger, and the bossiest, and the one who insisted we rehearse and sing different parts and “slam it to the left” ON THE SAME SIDE

    This weekend is just work work work and then pack clean move into a new house! I was also invited to a potluck next week because a friend of a coworker thinks I’m cute and I was told to show up! That felt rad. Especially after a new friend/fling said she did not want to continue the sexual part of our relationship (which totally made sense, but still stings a bit).

    Mixed weekend, please friends send me all your good vibes as I throw out two more garbage bags of junk

  55. Ok….its Sunday…..but I hope all of you woke up to sweet cuddling in bed with your sleepy-eyed Sweetie…….two-legged OR four-legged! :)

  56. Ginger was my fave, obvs. I had very few red-haired role models as a kid, so I’d fight tooth and nail to be her when we played Spice Girls. Also, I begged my mom to make me her final costume from Spice World (y’know, that red Big Bird knock off thing), and she always refused. Some childhood dreams will never be realized.

    IN OTHER NEWS, I think the girl I like maybe likes me back? Which is kind of a huge thing, because this never happens. I’m trying not to get too psyched, though, because I don’t know what her intentions are. I have an awful habit of getting super excited about someone right before they prove to be less than stellar humanoids, so. Trying to stay level-headed!

  57. I’m way late to this party- something about time differences and whatnot, oops.

    At any rate – Spice Girls theme is a winner. There was a little boy at my Primary School who used to do Spice Girls concerts and I was a backup dancer a few times I reckon. I have to wonder what kind of person he is now and if he still loves them just as much.

    On the me note- I’ve been better. I have a few things going on right now. *sad feels rant ahead*

    One of them is that I’m having crisis of ‘faith + homosexuality’ and how to negotiate finding a lady love who shares my faith persuasions, because the asshole-ness of the some/plenty of the broader Christian church means that ‘gay Christians’ are basically an endangered species.

    Which leaves me in a position, because I feel like it’s possibly a jerk move to date ladies who aren’t Christian if it intrinsically matters to me that I end up with someone who is. Not because only Christians are ‘good enough to date’ (not true at all and honestly a really gross idea), but because it matters to me that the lady I love and who loves me ultimately understands and can speak to the thing that fuels my life and drives many of my decisions and guides the person that I want to be.

    I’m finding this really hard, and a very very lonely idea to explore, also because my best friend and I are in our own fun situation at the moment so I don’t have my usual emotional support around me (and I’m also struggling because I can’t properly spend time with and help her at a tricky time for her too). So it’s all about as fun as sticking a fork in my eye, you know?

    So there’s that. Thankyou for this chance to rant. Allow me to now watch two more OitNB episodes and continue my ever-alternating sleep pattern on my valiant quest for sanity.

    At least I got pancakes tonight and my dog is super cute. Love your work dog.

    Until next time, Friday Open Thread. x

      • Thankyou. I watched four OitNB episodes and had a cry. I might again try the ‘be a functional human being’ strategy as it overall feels better than binge-TV and absurdly late nights.

        Also I really appreciated your comment. When one feels very alone, it’s the small things.

        Internet hugs right back. x

        • Hey! I binge watch OITNB and cry instead of dealing with my problems, too! Has actually helped a surprising amount in the past. But in all seriousness, getting your sleep schedule regular is a really crucial step (at least in my experience) towards a more stable mental state.

          I can’t give you any advice re: religious stuff, but a lovely middle-aged lesbian who wandered in to the store I work at while I was crying over a breakup once told me that “not feeling alone is important to everyone, especially within our community,” so if you ever need someone to give you a digital pat on the back and/or link to an adorable baby animal video, message me. Also There is no place better than autostraddle to be reminded that you are not alone!

          You’re going to be just fine <3

  58. I was 19 when “Wannabe” came out, and it felt like a step backwards and a rip-off. Oh, what a decade difference in age makes.

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