FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Girl, What’s Yo Sign?

Hey there, hi there, ho there queermos! Welcome to this week’s Friday Open Thread, in which we discuss contemporary art and its masters. JK! It’s our weekly space for dog photos, first-date jitters, coming out stories, and more. In fact, we have a Friday Open Thread every week just because we love you and wanna know your life. Also because I love dog photos. Here’s my dog on a blanket at the beach last weekend. Also, me, in a sunhat.

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I haven’t been lucky enough to host y’all in this big, bad Internet party since Independence Day weekend, so I’m glad to be back in the saddle again holding the reins to your heart. Since then, I both took off to Ocean City for a Straddler-Owned and Operated trip to #Puppateague National Park and returned to my life at home post-Canada. What this means is, I’ve basically been thinking about how much I like Canada for like two entire weeks and drinking hard cider with some tiny grains of sand in it mostly as a coping mechanism. I’m okay with that.

I’ve also returned to my daily grind, meaning I’ve once again discovered how much I love my morning paper on the Metro. Lately, my new goal is to get all the way to the end before the journey ends, both because of the trashy celebrity gossip and because of the horoscopes. As my life at work has shifted and changed, these daily guides from the stars have been shedding some serious insight on my life.

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I’ve been really into astrology since I was a kid, when I asked my mom if I could bring my astrology kit to church. (I couldn’t. That’s blasphemy or something.) It wasn’t hard for me to get into it once I learned I was a Leo: Everytime I picked up a book or read a column about my sign, it basically told me I’d be awesome at sex, dominate the social scene, and learn to love myself fiercely in my adult age. Um, yes. All of that, please. It didn’t help that the personality analysis always sounded so spot-on, or that I came with age to realize the self-fulfilling prophecies of going through exactly what my very first horoscope book told me I’d go through as a young adult. Plus, I’ve always been into fortune cookies and trying to see God and stuff, so why not be into living my life by the planets and stars? I’ve seen enough shit go wrong when Mercury is in retrograde to know that you don’t fuck with the pseudo-science of the truth.

So, the end of this long-winded story of how much I love myself is mostly that I really wanna know what sign you are! I’m not one of those people who will refuse friendship with a Saggitarius or preach social strategies to a Cancer — I’m just curious. Plus, I’m hoping to find at least 50-100 other weirdos who rely on an arbitrary constellation assignment to guide their daily lives. (Don’t know your sign yet or why it matters in your life at all but totally on board to get weird with me? Check out Kade’s flawless guide to the stars right here on Autostraddle.)

Not into astrology? Judging me for my lack of rational thought right meow? That’s okay, too — I’d also like to know about what you made for dinner this week, how your pets are doing (PICS OR IT NEVER HAPPENED), who you’re in love with, whether or not you’re playing the Kim Kardashian app, and how you’re doing at summer school. And if you’re tempted or dying to share something I haven’t touched on yet, go for it! I’m so deeply interested in everything you’ve got going on, you know? I’m just that in love with you.

I’ll respond to pet photos with my own pet photos, and I’ll respond to everyone else with good ol’ warmth and kindness. Plus, you could win a huge block of cheese by commenting on someone else’s post in the comment thread tonight instead of just commenting to me! Not really, but isn’t good conversation it’s own reward? Well, whatever. Now it is.

Okay, huckabees! Get stargazing. This Leo is ready to roar with you.


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Carmen is the Digital Editor at Ms. , Managing Editor at Argot, a Contributor at Everyday Feminism, and Co-Host of The Bossy Show. She previously served as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor, and Social Media Co-Director at Autostraddle. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 926 articles for us.

204 Comments

  1. I’m a Leo too. My girlfriend is a libra. From recent experience, I would say that Leos are most likely to be cleaning the kitchen at 10pm the night before going on holiday, while Libras are destined to fall asleep on the couch. (We are going to Lesbos, literally, unlike most days where that is only figuratively true.)

  2. Heyo Carmen! I’m a Sagittarius. I don’t know a ton about it but from the times I’ve checked on horoscopes I’m supposed to like traveling and stimulating conversations. That is all I remember at the moment but that seems accurate of me so I’ll take it! I would say Vagittarius is also my sign. Can I do that? Make my own sign? I’m a SagVag if you will. I feel like someone needs to write a profile for a Vagittarius and Sag/Vag.

    • Hiya.
      I’m also a Sagittarius and agree with the traveling & interesting convos. For me there is also a fierce independence & aversion to being contained (think wild horse in a barn stall).
      I vaguely follow what my star chart informs me is happening, paying special attention to mercury’s whereabouts. I have more patience for communication issues when it’s retrograde.
      I used to read my daily email from astrology.com but it got too overwhelming. Now I read it when I feel moved.

    • OH NO!!!! I just checked the Astrology Rule Book. You are not allowed to dream up your own sign!!!!! It would throw off all the star paths in the universe, planets go veering off who knows where, banging into other planets, asteroids whizzing into meteors, black holes sucking up satellites and space stations and that space junk up there!!

      Think how bad you would feel next morning if you caused the universe to collapse!!!

      Vagittarius? …………hmmmmmm, but I do feel an emotional connection to this “sign” for some reason!

  3. I’m a Scorpio and every description I’ve read has been wildly inaccurate w/r/t my actual personality, so I’m afraid I can’t contribute anything to the astrological discussion!

    I am currently sitting on my bed and wondering whether I should randomly pop across the border into France tomorrow, mainly because I have been having crepe cravings this week.

    • Scorpio is one of the most intense signs, so I can see how more grounded scorpios don’t relate to some of the available descriptions for their sign. Not that scorpios are necessarily intense people. In fact, I get along with them suuuper well, and it is said that my sign + scorpio is a good match, for friendship. I usually feel very attracted to scorpio girls, for some reason. 🙂 It’s a cool sign!

    • go! …for those of is who can’t. I used to pop across the border on my bike when I lived in Switzerland… always came back loaded down with grocery bags dangling off the handlebars… : )

    • i envy your border-hopping life, y’know. just putting that out in the world so i can replace those feelings with positive ones like “being happy for your crepe filled life.”

  4. This marks my first AS comment. I’ve been meaning to comment on the Friday Open Threads for the past month, but I always get busy and then it’s Saturday and I figure that it’s too late.

    I’m born on one of those weird cusp days, so I’m a Sagittarius or a Scorpio, depending on who you ask.

    This past month has been filled with a bunch of queer firsts for me. I got my first ALH (which has boosted my confidence insanely), went to my first Pride Parade (it was life-changing), met a cute girl that loves pudding as much as I do and enjoys kissing me (said girl also wrote me a song, which I have yet to hear). All in all, it’s been a great month and a good week.

    PS: Has anyone seen the notoriously horrid animated flick “Foodfight!”starring Charlie Sheen? I watched it last night with a friend, and I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. If you enjoy bashing films, I recommend.

    PSS: Autostraddle has been a huge help over the past two years for this baby dyke, so though this is my first comment, AS has been a part od my life for awhile. So thank you thank you thank you.

    • Yo, I really don’t know much about astrology, really, other than my own sign, and the fact that all the best people around me are either scorpio OR sagitarius. You must be some kinda real awesome!

      Also, Autostraddle-baby-dyke-best-ressource highfive! :))

      • I don’t know too much about astrology either. But after Pride I walked into a sushi restaraunt in my small town with “Single Lesbian” written on my legs, so I guess I’m pretty cool.

        *High fives* Autostraddle: where else could you learn the art of rope bondage, listen to a playlist based on a wafflehouse, view a gallery of photos of Ellen Page, read informative articles on LGBTQ-related issues, and discuss your cat with a bunch of queers-all in one sitting?

    • OMG, a fellow Scorpio Sag cusp!
      I’ve been having not-so-ironic feelings about getting a tatto of a centaur with scorpion arms and a scorpion tail because it would be only the most badass astrological tattoo in existence, amirite?

  5. Capricorn! I’ve read in many places that capricorns live their lives backwards, sorta. And it is totes my case, so this is funny as heck.

    At age 16 I was a small adult. I won poetry contests and some prestigious-ass scolarships for Laval’s university. Most of my peers were focused on their crushes, and who had maybe slept with who. I was planning my career and enjoying quiet evenings at home with my mom. And rebellion was not in my vocabulary.

    At age 22 I was mostly never doing homework, spending my scolarship money on clothing (thank you, generous Laval’s university!) and way more interested in my summer camp job than anything else. I was beginning my coming out process so I would mostly party, get drunk, and kiss girls.

    I’m 25 going on 26 now. If anything, I’ll be in jail by the time I’m 30! Fingers crossed OITNB is somewhat accurate, and that I’ll make friends with the badass red-haired russian women that work in the kitchen.

    P.S. Joking I’m fine, I have a sweet job, and I’m taking care of my pet cat, k?

  6. I’m technically a Virgo, but I think nothing of astrology, though I respect that it holds value for others. In other news, this utterly fantastic week has built upon the magnificence that was last week and life just feels so special lately. And that’s even with the fact that I have been dealing with some extremely demanding clients where I work. Oh, hospitality industry, how I loathe thee.

    • Your dog looks amazing. Your dog looks so amazing, he can’t possibly poop, eat its own poop, or eat the poop of other animals. Or trash. Your dog is so pretty he can’t possibly fart or get water all over the floors when its drinking from the toilet bowl. He’s magnificent. He’s proud. And he makes my dog look like a forest troll.

      Send his photo to Calvin Klein. D:

      • Dawww thanks 🙂 And he doesn’t eat anyone’s poop or drink out of the toilet. That said, he does take my phone if he thinks he deserves more attention though. Oh, and he definitely farts.

    • “This dog” is the most stylish dog in the world! Other male dogs beg for tips on how to wear a bandana artistically askance to provoke admirers’ praise. Female dogs swoon when they hear the heart wrenchingly soft emotional howl of “this dog”.

      “This dog” doesn’t always drink bottled water,…..but when he does….he drinks Perrier.

      His advice? “Stay thirsty, my friends”

    • THE BIGGEST SKEPTICS are Aquarius… in pretty much everything, but once they believe they BELIEVE. They also can hold a grudge like a champ.
      Maybe try checking your horoscope for your rising or moon sign? Some people are more impacted by either of those as opposed to their sun sign because of the balance of the elements throughout their chart houses.

  7. I, too, live my life by the stars. I don’t really listen when it says not to buy electronics on a certain day, but I pay attention when it seems as though the greater cosmic universe is doing some funky shit. That mercury retrograde a few months back gave no fucks and reeked havoc on my life. #realtalk

    • yo, i echo your #realtalk. that shit was fucked up. when mercury was in retrograde i lost my wallet, spilled coffee all over my laptop in the middle of the night, and – AND – dealt with some real shit in my life. fuck that. FUCK IT. NEVER AGAIN. #tilnexttime #thestarscontrolus

  8. I am supposedly a Pisces, but I’ve had trouble buying into the whole astrology thing because I am just SO NOT any of the Pisces qualities. I’m practical and focused and communicative, not dreamy and artsy and spiritual. Also water is annoying and I don’t even particularly like to swim. The only thing stereotypically Pisces that does work for me is that I have a lot of foot and ankle issues.

    But mostly I pretend I’m a misplaced Aquarius. I wish my sign worked better for me because astrology is the kind of thing I would totally nerd out about, but I just can’t get into being a Pisces.

      • You know, I dug through one of those giant coffee-table books of astrology back in high school (when bookstores were still a thing) and I do recall finding something super-obscure that made it all make more sense – but I don’t know what that was and should probably look into it again.

    • I’m also a Pisces, and I think I’ve become less and less like a typical Pisces as I’ve gotten older- when I was a teenager, I really identified with being “artsy” and dreamy but now I’m much more practical. Also not much of a swimmer, and I don’t particularly like rain!

      But I love reading horoscopes and stuff anyway. I don’t take it seriously at all, I just get a kick out of those kinds of things.

  9. I’m such a terrible Leo. I’ve been judging myself all my life for it. I want to be bold, confident, and outgoing! I want to be able to dominate the room! But all my plans to be that kind of person inevitably go awry 🙁 As a result, my favorite horoscopes are the ones in The Onion. A close second was when Welcome to Night Vale released a series of Facebook statuses with horoscopes in them.

    I want a dog.

    • I’m a Leo too, but the first time I read a description of Leos I was horrified and thought it sounded like the worse person! Maybe it was just the one I had, but the phrases I remember were ‘needs to be the center of attention’, ‘demands praise and admiration’, and something about being fickle and susceptible to flattery. So I took a bit of pride in not really being anything like a Leo.

      But I want a dog too.

      • The negative Leo traits do sound like someone who’s kind of awful to be around! I mostly felt like broader society was telling me to be more like the Leo’s good side, and it made me internalize “whyyy can’t I be like this” even more.”

        The dog in your profile picture is so adorable. I need to find some puppies to visit and cuddle with. (By “puppies” I mean any dog.)

    • i bet you’re a really good leo in that leos are awesome in bed and really fun to be around / be friends with, even if you’re not loud, domineering, and obnoxious (ahem, like moi). SO IT REALLY ALL WORKS OUT!

      one day you can come over and pet my dog. true story.

  10. Aquarius is my sign. But I’m on the cusp of Aquarius and Capricorn, so I’m sort of both?

    I got my A+ stickers in the mail today! It was so fun to get mail from Autostraddle. I jumped a little. Mail is fun in general. I should get a penpal.

    Another week of unemployment drifted by me. Most of the time I feel like I’m floating onward somehow, but am still lost at sea. I don’t know where I’m going or how to be an adult, and no one will tell me.

    I’ve been trying to get into self-care, to keep myself sane through the time I have on my hands (when I’m not doing the job search stuff). This has been lots of new playlists, reading, long hikes through the natural wonders of Suburbia (sidewalks), going into The City, and Orphan Black marathons. I’ve also been doing a lot of writing, which always make me feel like a more productive human. I feel like if I can write myself into existence, I’ll be okay.

    I try to put myself out there, reach out to friends, and to make new friends in NYC, even when it’s hard. For example, there’s a fun, chill, Big Apple Autostraddlers meet-up on Sunday that I’ll hopefully fling myself towards. A summertime outdoor screening of the movie Labyrinth. I mean, this is Labyrinth we’re talking about; a classic and weird 80’s Henson film, which I’ve seen a million times, and know the words to all songs. Clearly, I need to be there!

  11. Virgo here! Horoscopes are never quite right for me, but tend to be weirdly relevant to my life. I don’t appear overly organized, but I know what I have and where it all is, so I guess that probably counts for something. But driven and dependable definitely describe me.
    On another note, my supervisor called my “quirky” this week, which he quickly followed with “I mean it in a good way!”. So there’s that.

  12. I’m also a Leo and I love everything about the stars! It took me a really long time to identify with my sign since Leos go through 3 life phases (cub, lioness, and sphinx) and since my moon is in Libra so I spend a lot of time and energy balancing a room out before I rock it!
    Also, I’might seriously pumped that the moon is out of our 12th house! This past year has been really rough for me re:death, endings, sickness and I’m so excited for the fresh start!

  13. I’m not very into astrology but reading horoscopes does make me have teenage camp feelings. I’m a libra and the things I’ve read about it seem pretty accurate, especially the indecisiveness.

    Pets-wise, my parents and younger sister (who I visit often) just adopted the sweetest cat ever –

    I’ll get to hang out with her tomorrow, as well as my brother I haven’t seen in a while.

    Currently I’m about to dig into a veggie burger my boyfriend made for me and then work for a couple hours with 2 month-old twins.

  14. Hey, I’m a Gemini! I don’t comment much but some crazy stuff has been going down and my cabin mates from last A-Camp (Ghost World) have been wicked helpful! So, I had this complicated situation with a coworker for almost a year but shes in love with another woman slash says she doesn’t want a “lesbian relationship” and ultimately wants to marry a dude and have children but that she will always love the other woman… It was painful to hear all of that but I’ve kind of known it form the start, except she wasn’t talking to the other woman at the time, they were on and off with even talking to one another. I was always there to help my coworker do things for the other girl. I didn’t want to be dragged around any longer so I told her I needed space and that made me feel more like myself again but then she was upset that I wasn’t giving her all of my attention. It was just a toxic situation and after one night of falling back into bed with her followed by another week of relative silence, I didn’t want to go back to that. I swore her off, she tempted me the other day, at first I almost gave in but then she confirmed she isn’t capable of just being my friend (with no sex or exclusive attention despite the fact that she does stuff with this other girl when possible and would date guys if the opportunity were there). I was reluctant to let her go but I know it is for the best. I am very sensitive, she hurt me enough, I cared about her too much at times but now I must be free and move on. While I don’t want to jump into anything serious right away, there is another girl I am interested in who I had a moment with toward the beginning of this craziness with the coworker. She is talking to me again and she knows about all of this. I am hoping she still wants to get to know me as much as I want to get to know her. Either way, I am feeling like my happy self again and I am going to try my best not to be brought down by the coworker when I see her again (next Friday night). I’m ready to move on with my life!

    …and this is the condensed version!! (Thank you Ghost World for listening to the whole story and giving me advice!)

  15. I have no thoughts on astrology, pets, or dinners this week because I went on the best date! And I’m seeing her again tomorrow! But, then maybe never again because I’m moving away…

  16. Right smack dab in the middle of Taurus and basically the most textbook example of everything I’m supposed to be in that sign.

    Ie. stubborn and super into gluttony and creature comforts of all kinds. 😉

    In exciting news, my horse’s eye is healing well and she’s probably going to get her stitches out this weekend or next week and after I close at work tonight I’m going home to make a bunch of tiny cheesecakes to take to a BBQ with some fellow gaymos AND my girlfriend found my ring in her apartment that I thought I lost hiking and was panicking about! 😀 So yes, this has been a very good week. 🙂

  17. Virgo. It always says I should be super organized, but I find that many Virgos I meet, including myself, are very messy. Although I know where everything is in the big mess, so maybe that’s organized?

    I used to be super into astrology, but I haven’t been in recent years. I do find that the descriptions tend to fit for most people. Even when they don’t seem to at first, it’s usually because of another factor, like a moon sign or something, that’s really strong for that person.

    Ahh! Now I want to go find my old books and look stuff up!

  18. I’m supposedly a Virgo, but that always seems to go along with being clean or some such nonsense. I’ve never been a perfectionist either, which is the other big trait I guess.

    But in other news, my long-distance girlfriend has spent the past week with me and it’s been amazing! Yesterday we toured an arboretum, held hands while walking through giant redwoods, ate Chinese food, and watched old episodes of Americas Next Top Model. She’s currently sleeping on my lap as I type this, life is freaking great.

  19. Libra sun, cancer moon, sag rising.

    I’ve only gotten into astrology in the past year, but everything I’ve discovered about myself is spot on. Growing up in a v new age household my mom used to have her friends do readings on me as a child. I came across a tape of a man reading my natal chart the day before my 16th birthday and listening to it today was so eerie. It was all spot on! I can’t explain astrology, but it just makes sense to me. I love sending my friends their horoscopes when they’re going through an interesting life thing because their response is always SWEET LESBIAN JESUS WHAT IS ASTROLOGY AND HOW WAS THAT SO PERTINENT TO MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

    also Leos are hot

  20. Fellow Leo here 🙂 not super into astronomy, but would like to learn more!
    Anyone got any tips on how to find out more about your moons and the other dependable stuff (if that makes any sense what so ever)? Like I’ve heard that you can be f.ex a Leo, but with an ascendant(?) in another sign? Would be super happy for any pointers, feel free to pm if that’s more convenient! 🙂 love & light

  21. I find that Myers-Briggs tells me more about a person, naturally, so I like to force new friends to take the test. I’m a Taurus but I’m also an ENFP so really just a loud, stubborn nightmare at times, and a super enthusiastic cheerleader at other times.

  22. Hey guys!! I hope everyone is doing great this Friday. Let’s see. Work has been slowly taking over my life. Pretty soon my fellow superusers and I will be teaching our co-workers the new program for our Electronic Health Record. So it’s teaching people things we’re not an expert in either! I have fun in my future.

    This person is an Aries. So far everything I’ve read about Aries is that we’re quite active, action-oriented, proud and get overly jealous. (I keep my jealously in check LOL)

    I’m also very proud to say that my review for the Farallon Islands button up was posted!! YAY Just scroll down and look we’re on there! =)

    Here’s our cat ♥ Then you’ll see me in all my shark glory.

    And of course my metal earth thingy! =)

    The Mustang is from 1965 and the Model T is 1908. =)

  23. I’m a virgo (talk about spot on personality descriptions).
    Today, I finished writing my first ever annual report. It is amazing the tasks that will be sent your way if you are the only person in your office with any technological know how. Anyway, when I finished, my boss insisted on me lighting a sparkler IN HER OFFICE. I was freaking out. My girlfriend works in a fireworks shop, so I know the destruction they can cause. I could see the headlines: “Three local advocates die in fire. The fire originated from a sparkler in the executive director’s office”. I might have an over active imagination.

    Besides be stoked to have finished a giant work project, I’m excited that I have zero plans for this weekend. All I want to do is sit in my living room, watch project runway, and eat homemade salsa.

  24. I am a cancer with a cancer rising. I have a lot of feelings. Also I will do whatever you want almost all the time unless what you want is for me to be super sociable all the time and then I will ignore you until you go away.

    It’s a great Friday! I have a third date tomorrow and my person is funny and I am hoping we are going to make out at the movies!

  25. I thought I had already posted my usual lightheartedish comment, but it looks like maybe it didn’t even post, or whatever. I’m worried about the mental health of one of my parents, who I think has issues with depression that need more addressing. Have any of you had similar experiences- feeling weird about reversing the roles and telling your parent that you’re worried about them, in a family where mental wellbeing can be kind of a taboo subject?

    • YES!
      My Mom is a retired widow, I moved home to be near her & the rest of the family. She has IMO major unresolved grief & untreated depression. I feel like *my* therapy sessions end up focusing on how I am now “raising Mom”, aka role reversal.

      I’ve talked with my brothers & Mom’s sisters to get their feedback & support. I’ve attended NAMI family support groups (very helpful) and Al-Anon groups (also helpful, just replace “addiction” with “mental health”).
      Been considering finding a caretakers support group too, though Mom is very high functioning so I anticipate feeling out of place…

  26. Technically, I’m a Leo, but most people (My father included, who is very into astrology) agree that I sound more like a Cancer. I was born very premature so maybe I just really, really wanted to be Cancer but missed by a few days?

  27. God. Astrology confuses me. I used to do a line of astrology here and there when I wanted to know if I was compatible with someone I was interested in. Trouble is, I decided to plough ahead with my interest anyway, disregarding any astrological advice. Sex and relationships being the Royal Roads to Karma and all etc etc etc. Well, life is more interesting when it is lived a little rough and ready, seat o the pants.

    I guess I am friends with people before I find out what their sun moon and ascendants are.

    I a Libra sun, Aquarius ascendant, Leo Moon (the leo moon is prob the biggest obvious thing about me – a lot of expressive emotional noise with theatrical flair or wannabe flair) and I am an honorary Scorpio with my Sun conjunct Pluto, sun conjunct Mars, and Pluto conjunct Mars all happening in my 9th house Libra.

    As I have very vested interests in scorpio themes – life, death, shared interests, the afterlife, revenge, justice, atonement, Scorpio fits me well from a revenge and justice point of view including karma creation and payback, while Libra fits me well also as I feel best if I take the middle balanced path and not veer off into getting fixed on justice or revenge. Karma works itself out without me having to do anything to balance it.

    I also really relate to story of Persephone descending into the afterworld and becoming awoken to living and life in its cycles.

  28. So, my wife (ahem, ~civil partner) and I are celebrating our first anniversary on Tuesday.

    She’s really quite into these things, so I’ve had to make an effort. Especially as she accidentally spent £92 on stamps because she didn’t realise how expensive they are*.

    Despite the fact I have no craft skills I am really quite proud of her present and card. So I just want to share that – pictures next week.

    We will be having a picnic (with paper cups and plates), going to roller Darby and then lighting allegedly Eco-friendly sky lanterns. 😀

    *I used to collect stamps, but gave up when I realised no-one thinks they’re a present worthy of giving and couldn’t justify buying many for myself

  29. Fun Fact: My Virgo friend posted some angsty, contradictory shit from a tumblr astrology thing, so I looked up the Taurus branch of that page, so I could reply with something funny and/or self depreciating. Literally, as in Actually, every one of them utilized the word Bullshit, and Taurus’ inability to put up with it. My poor Virgo friend went uncomforted

  30. I am a cancer. All the astrology descriptions seem pretty spot-on; I do have a lot of feelings. But I don’t really follow horoscopes or anything like that. I just like reading the descriptions for my sign and saying “oh yeah that is soo me” (:

    I’ve decided to try to start journaling but I’ve never kept a journal before and so I’ve just been sitting here staring at this blank notebook not knowing where to even start…

  31. This past week has been hell. My mental stuff finally got so bad I needed to get a therapist, and then after the first meeting, I got even worse. I feel like I’m falling apart every day. Why can I talk- babble- in therapy and feel ok, but then I get out and feel like hell? I’ve literally slept all day. I’m exhausted all over. I have to go to my primary Dr next week and talk about getting put on meds. I feel like I’m draining everyone. I never want to be alone, so I keep texting people and waiting for the moment they get sick of me. Waiting for them to just be like, shut up and go away. No matter how many times people say they won’t, I’m convinced it’ll get to that point, bc I just keep spinning, I just keep spiraling, I keep repeating myself, the same old shit, same pain.

    I’m trying to hold things that are good. I’m trying to hold on to every “I’m proud of you” and “you can do this” and every gentle word or phrase and every “I care about you”, but it’s like trying to grab on to water. I constantly feel like I need validation that people aren’t going to leave me, especially right now. Tbh right now I just want to be held and I can’t be.

    I’m so exhausted. I’m so sick of myself, of these thoughts, of how I’ve got to be wearing people down and out and I feel guilty for it and stupid and I just hate myself and this. I’ve never been unable to fake holding it together, and now I literally can’t do it anymore. I’ve never felt so defeated, or broken, or fallen apart. I’m trying so hard, but it’s like nothing ever works. I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m tired. I want my brain to stop, to shut up.I want to be taken care of, I want someone to hold my hand and not let go, because I’m scared that eventually everyone will, if only to preserve their own selves. But I’m really trying hard. I am. I just can’t do it, I can’t keep going. I’m trying to hang in there for tomorrow and Sunday, and then I work every freaking day next week, but I just. …I want to stop. I want it all to end, to stop, but not even sleeping is relief anymore.

    I’m sorry, I’m so pathetic and whiny. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.

    • Hi Caitlin, I’m sorry you are having a rough time. I can relate to a lot of your post, my mental health is also on a downward spiral lately and I know how impossible it is to escape and how tempting it is to just give up. You seem really distraught and I really hope you manage to find the strength to hang in there a little while longer. It’s great that you’re seeing a therapist and taking steps to get well. Don’t be afraid to keep asking the people in your life for support! You deserve to be supported and to feel loved. you can message me too if you want to. I hope things get better for you. <3

    • I have been where you are. I found myself spiraling in and out of misery for a long time. I know it’s so hard to get back up. It’s almost impossible–by yourself. You’ve made a really great step in going to your therapist. It took me a long time to make that step, and I wish I had done it sooner. It took me a long time to recognize what I was really up against. I kept trying to do things on my own, so good for you for getting some other people on board to help you fight. Your therapist and your doctor are there to give you tools to heal, so don’t be afraid to turn to them no matter how you’re feeling.

    • Hang in there Caitlin. Its amazing that you are trying and making efforts even though its the hardest thing in the world. Even though you feel alone, know that we’re thinking of you. (Also Netflix is my preferred way of getting through those feelings)

      I don’t know your thoughts on the matter, but I would urge you to be open to medications- there’s something to be said for chemically correcting the out-of-whack neurotransmitters. I have always found being appropriately medicated is a necessary prerequisite before I can deal with issues in my life constructively. That said, meds aren’t a magic bullet, and remember that your chemistries often take 2-6 weeks to adjust.

      Sending lots of love your way (and also a picture of a baby goat, for good measure)

    • You are good.
      You are good and you deserve good.
      My mom struggles with feelings that she’s inadequate and ineffective and just wrong, and it hurts to not be sure what action or phrase will somehow unlock that circle of whatever it is that’s spinning in her mind and make her realize that all of us love her and SHE IS ENOUGH, but continuing to try is not a burden or something to push away because i do love her so much and she means so much to me. And I don’t know the magic way to make it clear to you that this is true, but there are people who feel the same way about you. They don’t think you’re weak for asking, they want a way to be there. You’re already doing the right things, by going to therapy and talking to your doctor and getting in touch with people for support. You are so strong and good for getting on that path. And everyone wants to support you on it. We do, we do, we do.
      You are good.

    • Did you know that when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond but you don’t die. I think that’s super cool, like a superpower or something. Also you’re totes not pathetic and whiny, honestly, cross my heart everyone has a right to feel the way you’re feeling, and you don’t have to guilt yourself I think. I was gonna offer some super duper life advice,but I don’t really know much.. I’m just 18.. But I do know it’s super hard to trust in your own worthiness and believe you deserve good things and that you deserve people. Laverne Cox was saying something similar in an interview I believe. Think about that, you have something in common with Laverne, arguably one of the most influential women of this decade. I really really hope you can find someone to give you a hug, but even if you don’t just know that there are tons, literally tons of straddlers out there thinking of you and giving you virtual hugs, myself included. And remember, happiness can be found in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light. Light being that big shiny computer screen where you can find all of us!!

  32. My sister read my horoscope this week and it said I will meet some, just need to be patient. I exchanged numbers with this adorable woman on Wing Ma’am. It looks positive.

  33. I consider myself a Sagittarius, my birthday is the the first day of the sign. Although some say its the last day of Scorpio more horoscopes say it is Sagittarius.
    I’ve had a strange week it feels like it has dragged on forever. I don’t really talk to a lot people in person since it is summer and that always puts me in a weird mood. One great thing this week is I made pizza for the first time on my own pizza stone. It was amazing. I have one dough left still and I don’t really have any more pizza toppings so I’m thinking of making some sort of cinnamon streusel situation with it tonight.

  34. I’m a Capricorn and as Capricorn as you get. Much like the Myers Briggs test I’m ALWAYS like Yup that’s me!! (INFJ FYI)

    So I recently started a new job so I’ve been doing that feeling it out how can I casually mention I’m queer cuz I don’t have a GF to reference and Jesus I’m sick of constantly coming out over and over…thing and not finding any chances to come out and also being busy with the new job and shit. But TODAY I was talking with several coworkers about random shit. We were talking about the wanting and not wanting of birthing and raising children and I said “if I ended up with a partner who really wanted kids I would do that for her, but if she was indifferent I’d be like let’s just not.” And the conversation continued with no ignorant comments or stupid questions, we just kept talking. And later I was invited out with a group of them for drinks tonight with “and if you have a girlfriend she’s more than welcome to join us”

    So it’s just nice sometimes to remember that not all the world is full of douce bag morons 🙂

  35. Gemini! But only in the I can see two sides to every story thing…I think there’s some part of me that’s secretly some quiet, awkward, nerdy, introverted, deeply cat-like sign.

    There seem to be a lot of Virgos here? and my human partner is a Virgo? there should be a super-unscientific study on whether they are statistically more likely to be queer

  36. I’m an Aquarius, 110%. I don’t really read my horoscope or anything, but I used to be really into these “Born on a Rotten Day” books. (Aquarius’s “body part,” I remember, was “ankles – constantly twisted from turning on your heel and walking out.” I’m definitely argumentative and I had a real flare for the dramatic when I was younger.)

    I was pleased to discover that even if you include Ophiuchus, I’m an Aquarius either way; in one, I’m at the end of the time frame, and the other, I’m at the beginning.

    What about everyone’s Chinese zodiac signs? I’m a Snake. Unfortunately, the snake charms at shrines are never cute, or even usually very cool.

    … the real “horoscope” type thing people do here (Japan) is based on blood type, but I don’t even know mine.

  37. I managed to be an Aries with an Aquarius moon and rising. I’m also an earth dragon if we go Chinese horoscopes and a Willow tree if we are talking Celtic. Somehow the combination fits as the Aquarius makes me mellow until I know you really well and then the Aries takes over. 🙂

  38. Solid Gemini here. Ridiculously so.

    But that’s not important. What IS important is that tonight was the GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. Why? Because I got to see Jurassic Park in 3D in IMAX. You guys, this was my face the entire movie:

  39. I’m a Sagittarius, in pretty much every way with the desire to travel, the energetic nature, the desire for independence.

    Other than that, I had an okay week. I’ve been having some family issues, just overall feelings of being belittled and undermined by my parents. I had to see my therapist this week because the negativity was really starting to sap my energy. But I had a nice long talk with her so I feel better. Not really looking forward to my aunt’s 50th birthday party tomorrow, but I’ll deal.

    • TOO TRUE. My wife is a sag. Especially the independent part. I’m surprised she wants to settle with me at all.

      (KIDDING!!!!!)

      PS you should skip your aunt’s party and have some cider. Or read a book.

  40. Virgo……degree in mathematics…then became a studio potter……now work in garden dept. at a Home Depot….

    right brain left brain hot mess lovey idealist thing…….sigh

  41. Hi, Carmen. I’m an Aries. The type of aries that gets invited to a small kick back with friends that turns into a mini party when her crush shows up. Drinking ensues. Then, while trying to walk outside, forgets that there’s a glass door and walks right into it while said crush watched.

    I’m also trying to get the courage to write to someone on POF. I keep telling myself, “yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow! For reals this time.” It’s been 6 days.

  42. I’m right on the cusp of Capricorn and Sagittarius. I’ve always felt like the description of Capricorn fits me best, so I usually go with that. I went through a phase in my teens when I was obsessed with astrology. Now, I mostly just read my horoscopes for fun. They can be surprisingly accurate though and I’m starting to want to get back into it.

    If this worked, here’s a picture of my cats.

  43. I tell myself that I don’t believe in astrology, but then I spent hours figuring out my birth chart and cross referencing it across multiple sites. So yeah.

    I’m a Sagittarius. My moon is in Pisces and my rising sun is in Taurus. Because everyone needs to know all that. Also – not an expert or anything – but those seem kind of conflicting.

  44. I am ridiculously, textbook-y pisces. I’m convinced that if you looked up pisces in the dictionary, there’d just be a picture of me doing the thumbs up and grinning. I have a theory that pisces are more likely to wholeheartedly believe in horoscopes, because ~mysticism~ or whatever? I pretty much live by Susan Miller’s monthly forecasts, because omg- she is scarily, scarily accurate when it comes to specific dates or big life events going down, so I’m hoping that she was spot on this month with talks of new romance bc I could definitely use some!

  45. Virgo here! I dabble in astrology. I like to see whether it was accurate or not. It’s nice when it’s positive.

    On another note I am lame and have never made-out with anybody. But I plan to with this one cute girl, but I am a bit nervous? Man I really am a baby dyke.

    Also I’ve been procrastinating on taking school pictures because I really REALLY do not want to wear a dress. The tux would be so awesome, but god at least a plain button-up shirt would do.

  46. you can feel free to preach social strategies to me. I’m a cancer. been sitting around drinking whiskey and talking about heavy shit with a friend for most the night.

  47. Gemini and here’s two cute animals because summer session finals crunch is now and other people may be feeling like a rope being chewed on by a chewing-phase-is-a-go foster pup.

    Additionally the day I was born was the summer solstice that year.

  48. Supposedly I’m a Pisces, but I’m so far from the description it’s ridiculous. (Sensitive and intuitive? lol, I give sitcom male stereotypes a run for their money in terms of emotional obliviousness.) Aquarius on the other hand, would’ve fit like a glove if I was born a week earlier, so even though I don’t put any kind of stock in astrology, I still felt kinda vindicated when I saw this Rachel Maddow segment that switched me over. XD

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co3obzAEOGs&w=560&h=315%5D

  49. Capricorn over here, although I can’t really remember what that means for me…

    It’s Saturday morning over here and my plans for the day are brunch and a book. It’s gonna be great.

  50. Taurus with a INFJ personality.

    This week I cooked two chocolate birthday cakes, this time lining the bundt tin properly so it didn’t stick. Lesson learnt.

    I made really good french press coffee with beans that I bought on holidays and enjoyed this with a co-worker after work on Friday. Due to the weather being so cold here, I didn’t make it out of bed until 4pm, but I did read a massive amount of fan fiction and made significant progress through Maya Angelou’s “I know why the caged bird sings”.

    Tomorrow I’m performing for the first time with the local singing group that I joined. I found out I’m an Alto and that led me to discovering Mama Cass and all of a sudden my life felt a lot more complete.

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKdknYaSHgE&w=640&h=480%5D

  51. Capricorn/Aquarius cusper here, though I identify as an Aquarius if coerced into buying some sort of zodiac swag (Baby Spice and I share the same birthday! Jan. 21).

    My Aquarian flightiness does often get in the way of my Capricorn need for order, and as a result I’m WAY too hard on myself for not having my shit figured out. But I’m also a better planner than a lot of my fellow Aqua buddies, who tend to fly by the seats of their pants much of the time. They’ll invite anyone and everyone to parties we plan, and it’s me who goes,

    “Guys, do we even LIKE these people?”

    I do think there’s something to be said for astrology. I certainly find that I gravitate towards certain signs. Most of my friends are Aquarians and Geminis (fellow air signs). I also have a soft spot for Aries and Leo. Arians (?) like to get under my skin, but in a playful way, and I’m a sucker for a good tease. 😉 Leos I find can be a little bombastic, but I also find them to be very loyal and true friends. Pisces I also like quite a bit, but I’ve found the Pisceans in my life to have this melancholy air around them, even if they’re happy and sociable. Like there’s a part of them you’ll never get to know. I’ve found even the most outgoing Pisceans to be rather private, and that’s so frustrating for the Aquarian who wants to know everyone.

  52. Hi all! I’m an Aquarius Pisces cusp and yes I can identify with my personality profile except for the arty, airhead bits. Although, I do generally have a head full of stuff going on.
    This week, because it’s been so cold and bleak here (southern hemisphere winter) I’ve been doing earth mother impersonations and making Asparagus soup and Soda bread and baking steak and mushroom pies, a ginormous lasagne and tomorrow I’m lining up to bake some Madeline’s.
    I’ve also been curled up in front of the fire, reading and drinking mulled wine. Life is good.

  53. I’m a cancarian, so is my gf, (in fact weirdly I’ve dated mostly cancarians), so is my mother, so is my grandmother. It’s a whole mess of crabby feelings up in here.

    Also r.e. Blasphemy and horoscopes I have a St Christopher medallion with a cancer symbol on the back. My mother passed it down. Blaspheme away I guess.

  54. I’m a Pisces and I really love astrology! I have 2 horoscope apps on my phone and read at least 3 horoscope sites every month. People think I’m crazy when I tell them not to do certain things or to be careful of things because Mercury is in retrograde but I just really believe the stars. I used to (sometimes I still do) mark “important dates” on my calendar based on what my horoscope says.

    I believe in zodiac sign compatibility and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s one of the things I consider when finding someone. At the moment, I am totally in crush with this girl who is halfway around the world, someone I’ve never met, but I believe is my true love. I say this not just because she is a Scorpio. I just have this feeling in my gut, and usually Pisces people’s gut feels are accurate. Also I feel like these psychic characteristic that Pisces people have contributed to my very accurate gaydar. Anyway, I believe that one day we will meet. (And I try to make the chances of this happening by wishing on wells in caves, praying to the fairies, and shouting out to the universe)

    I remember reading all about Astrology in grade school because they were selling astrology books in the book fair (which, in retrospect, is funny because I went to an all-girls Catholic school) and I can say I fit the description. I spend a lot of my time dreaming and daydreaming. I would say I’m creative. Last night I made a pearl tiara and it looks so beautiful it would make a mermaid weep tears of joy.

  55. I am THE BIGGEST Virgo! Introverted, moody, organized, overly analytical…

    Someone stole my pink post-its from my desk this week, thereby ruining my post-it rainbow and I nearly cried. Who would do such a thing?! What have I or my post-it rainbow done to you?!!

    Anyway.. These are my babies

    That’s Rocky (15) and Pooch (17ish). They’re old and loving and old and I love them so much.

  56. This week has been way too warm over here, and as most people I always get so surprised when it gets this hot. As the picture shows (kinda) you can’t even walk the dog for 20 minutes before you and the poor puppy needs to rest in some shadows.

    I’m a cancer, I don’t know anything about moons and planets and whatnot, just that I’m a cancer and that should mean I’m motherly and an incredibly good kisser.

    I also met the cutest cashier some time ago, and I have no idea what to do about it. An ex-turned-friend described my flirting skills as “you get used to it”(Her exact words!) so I’m not too sure I can handle it on my own… At least the store sells cheap pickled onion chips and grape fanta, and since no other place sells grape fanta that means I can be free of guilt every time I go there to buy it.

  57. I came out to my room mate in like the first sentence of our first conversation ’cause I wanted to get it over with, ’cause we just learned out roommate assignments for the fall, and she doesn’t want to room with me anymore. 🙁 I think I scared her off and I don’t know what to do because it’s against school policy to change rooms because of a person’s sexuality!!! So I have to make her like me somehow after fucking up big time, and I don’t know how!!!! Any advice??? THANK YOU!

    • I have no advice on how to make her like you, because with that attitude she doesn’t deserve your efforts. I just want to say you didn’t fuck up…she did.
      I know this isn’t very helpful. Sorry.

    • just be yourself and try to be a good roommate. that’s all you really can do. definitely don’t let yourself think that you fucked up–her response is on her, not you.

    • Hey Erin,

      Unfortunately, you can’t make a person like you. The fact that she doesn’t want to room with you based on your orientation upsets me on your behalf, but ultimately I realise that it says more about her than you. You’ve done nothing wrong.

      The best thing you can do is to rise above it. This doesn’t mean not feeling hurt. I’m a teacher and I tell my students “Be the bigger person”. Be the best example of yourself that you can be. Show her that being gay is only one part of the wonderful person that you are. Sure, it’s probably a big part of who you are. But on a minute level, nothing really changes. You still do laundry, homework and sleep.

      Sending you best wishes for your studies. You’re going to do great Erin.

    • I’m probably not the best at this, but I’ve had a few awful rooming situations as well. I want you to know that you’re not alone. Your roommate is the one with the problem, not you. Just do the best you can and maybe try to communicate with your roommate about the situation when the semester starts, communication goes a long way! If it gets really bad, you have other options too. Try to get to know your RA or Student Advisor, if communicating with your roommate doesn’t work out, your RA can be a helpful mediator. Hope this helps!

    • Although it’s against school policy, maybe you can try finding another roommate since she probably wouldn’t make a good one if you think you scared her off due to your orientation!

  58. I meant to reply to this thread yesterday, but in typical Gemini fashion I got distracted and was working on a book of poems I need to send to Brooklyn soon. So I’m a Gemini sun with Virgo rising and my moon in Taurus. Basically, I love to eat, I’m pretty damn clever and funny, I know how to chill hard and work hard, and I can talk my way into and out of pretty much everything. I’m not much of a homebody and I’m super autonomous but really social at the same time. I basically get all the suave of Gemini but because there’s so much earth in my chart, my nerves are calmed down a lot. I also come across as extremely confident and though I know I have my shit together, I am super self-critical (thanks, Virgo). I tend not to have any Scorpios in my life & I tend to click with Sag and Taurus really well. I’ve been into astrology for a while now but this past week I’ve been particularly invested in re-examining parts of my chart.

    • I’m a Gemini sun as well, but my Virgo is my moon. I tend to get along with Scorpios and generally dislike Sags and Taurus (except for 2 serious Sags that have stuck around in my life)…I love how the mixes of the signs and their houses changes things around SO much about how you relate to other signs!

  59. Ha! I’m a Leo, so I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that I scrolled down only reading posts about fellow Leos in an effort to learn more about myself. Imagine that.

  60. Oh, it’s Saturday but I’d like to comment anyhow!

    I’m watching The Desolation of Smaug, and as a poly pan person, I really want in on the Tauriel/Kili/Legolas love angle. Love squares for all.

    I’m a Scorpio, which is funny because … um, asexual over here.

  61. Today we finally had a baby bird hatch at work! (in my exhibit, anyway) Here’s to hoping the baby rainbow lorikeet stays alive and well over my weekend, and that the other clutch hatches safe and sound too <3 Also this week I played with baby penguins that bit me, and an adorable pygmy goose hatched, and the baby toucan looked at the world for the first time, and I learned about incubating eggs which is super fascinating and awesome, so.

    And then my mom made me mad by arguing with me that the Hobby Lobby ruling was exactly right and people like me are dumb for demanding the right to things like those few forms of birth control that Hobby Lobby won't pay for because that's why we have money- to pay for those things ourselves. We don't deserve to have that shit covered, 'cause it's ruining the country.

    I am now going to teach myself to crochet and loudly think gay thoughts and read gay autostraddle articles in her house to feel better.

    * commence fiddling with this string and hook thingy *

  62. Ima Taurus sun, Libra moon. Basically Ima natural born foodie, rebellious, and pleasure seeker. Ive always been deep into astrology but It’s watered down over the years. Horoscopes are bogus and astrology is like cosmic psychology. But I love all the sigciallypecially Scorpios (like my gf) 🙂

  63. I’m a Leo which means I’m proud, dominant and Queen of the Universe….fabulous…I BELIEVE…definitely some truth in all this star stuff….but hold on, just reading the next paragraph….oh dear…I’m stubborn, vain and arrogant …horoscopes schmoroscopes…;)

  64. Ok…. so if a hot girl wrote you a letter…. and it started with “Hey Cuntface…..” …. is that a good thing or what….?

    and is this thread a Leo attempt to take over the girl world??? there is like a million Leo’s and thirty of every other sign put together!!!! yikes!!! or swoon!……uh, I mean…. definitely… yikes!!!

    and my Sweetie was a Leo. and had that lesbian smirk face when she saw me melt…… melting is so totally only a girl feeling……I love that feeling of being emotionally helpless to resist another woman’s love

  65. I’m a triple Capricorn (sun/moon/rising) so I guess I’m extra Capricorn-like. I also don’t believe in Astrology but friends who do have told me that’s typical for Capricorns. 🙂

  66. Ooops I’m very late to this party. Aquarius for me. Apparently that means I want to change the world. Oky doky then!

    If you want a hot astrology tip I really love Eric Francis and subscribe to his weekly ‘scopes- they come out on Fridays and are really accurate, thought-provoking and intelligent. Also he is super queer and poly friendly (TBH it seems to me like he’s always trying to subtly promote poly!) and the horoscopes come with these long very lefty newsletters full of topica stuff re Monsanto, Gaza and US politics in general.

    He’s here: http://planetwaves.net/

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