Hey kids, gather round, it’s time to talk about doing crimes.
time… fore crime pic.twitter.com/omYgZGEPlb
— kenny criminal goblin🧡 (@goblinkenny) April 18, 2019
Okay, maybe not crimes, but also if you want to talk about crimes, I want to hear about them! More specifically, I’m here to talk about vice.
And while, yes, the detectives of Miami Vice have given decades of lesbians valuable fashion inspiration, we’re not really here to talk about that kind of vice either. I’m here to talk about……..weed.
As you know, in addition to today beginning a holy weekend for Jews and Christians (listen, has anyone made a Dayenu joke about Beyoncé’s new documentary/album yet???), it’s also the holiest of holy weekends for pot lesbians everywhere. FOUR TWENTY BABY BLAZE ITTTTTT 😎😎😎. I plan to spend tomorrow singing at various fire-related services and getting blazed with my own brand of the holy spirit, cannabis.
Weed is my favorite vice. Weed in and of itself is not bad, but the way I use weed sometimes, it’s absolutely a vice! I’m okay with that! I love having vices, it makes me feel like much more of a badass than graduate school really allows one to be. So friends, what are your vices? Do you remember when we talked about our vices as a Monday Roundtable and y’all told us we were babies? WELL NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!!!! I wanna know about all the wicked and immoral things you do to make you feel better in what is honestly??? A wicked and immoral world. I wanna hear about sex, I wanna hear about drugs, I wanna hear about rock and roll!!!! (I also want to see your cute pets, or see the pictures you’ve taken this week, or to discuss whatever’s going on in your life!!!)
Happy Friday! Chag Same’
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My sparkling water addiction is slowly killing my mother earth. It’s a problem.
I’m far too square to have interesting vices but I’m here because yesterday the straight girl I’ve had a crush on for the past year casually referred to herself mid-conversation as “mostly heterosexual”, which coincidentally is how I used to refer to myself before the bi penny dropped, and y’all I just don’t know anymore. I’ve read all the advice posts about straight girl shenanigans AND YET.
Who all here’s in a similar boat?
mostly hetero is a biiiiiig pre-gay mood
(this wasn’t supposed to be a reply to muffin, apologies, I am confused in a lot of ways)
first of all) how is sparkling water ruining the earth?! i just want spicy water!!
I was just feeling down about plastic & I don’t like supporting the privatization of water but IN BETTER NEWS after I got home from work I watched all of Lemonade on TIDAL and then Homecoming and 3-4 hrs of Beyonce has me feeling better about all things including sparkling water!
And thank goodness for Beyoncé indeed!!!!
I do not have the exact Statistics (TM) but I am pretty sure corporations do way more damage to the earth in a single day (or hour or minute, probably) than you could if you drank a bottle of sparkling water every hour for the rest of your life <3
thank you :D
ALSO HAPPY FRIDAY AND THANK YOU FOR HOSTING OPEN THREAD AL(AINA)!!!
hi al(aina)! i’m having trouble with vices at the moment (the kind of trouble where i’m not allowed to partake in any of them, not the too much kind of trouble) but i’m happy to see you and grateful for FOT as always!
thinking i might make plants my vice? really really want to get into plants.
heard of a plant millennial with over 1k in their apartment, feels like a vice to me
oh god help i just wanna have some plants i don’t wanna be a plant millennial
what if i have plants but i don’t instagram them
You can do orchids ! Orchids can totally be a vice.
Please instragram your orchids they’re such naughty things.
deli i am TERRIFIED of orchids are you kidding
I have had great success with pothos in water, not soil. That way you can tell when they need more water, and they are super forgiving about light. I’m plotting to cover my office with them so maybe I should add them to my vice list too.
PS this was my brilliant partner’s idea! did I mention she is brilliant and full of brilliant ideas like this one?
My biggest vice is either spending too much money on comics and blu-rays or eating too many mozzarella cheese sticks.
Oh, and on an unrelated note, I finally asked my mom what time of day I was born so I could look up my birth chart and it said my sun sign is Aries (knew this one already), moon is Scorpio, ascendant is Taurus, and MC is Capricorn and now I no longer know who I am.
mmmm cheese is a great and very queer vice to have. wow i love mozz sticks.
I’ve had a pretty miserable week, like nothing in particular caused it but definitely overwhelmed by everything. Then also had a very triggering interaction yesterday :/ but as always my cat Sweetums makes every day better and they’ve been super cute this week <3
Aw look at the lil ear tufts!
What a beautiful cat. I can almost hear that reassuring purr.
a majestic photo of a perfect being!
hang in there, jay <3
Sweetums is an honorary Autostaddle Puppy
i love sweetums they are growing up so beautifully!!!!!
They are! I was scrolling through photos earlier and I can not believe how small they were! They’ve grown so much! And continue to be perfect and beautiful!
Concerts and comic cons. Ironic how they both start with C. I cringe at how much I spent on my Spice Girls concert tickets for June. I mean it’s going to be totally worth it but boy when I see how much I actually spent, it kinda makes me balk.
wow ok but the spice girls will always be worth it
jamba juice, and gently-fucked-up fan fiction, sometimes simultaneously
wow jamba juice a suburban delight!!!
Happy Friday! It’s my birthday so I like to joke that I was born a day too soon.
My vices are sugar and wasting time and being depressed.
Have a hip birthday ! You are indeed ahead of your time
Procrastination. Wow, yeah. And chocolate. Procrastination and chocolate. Best when indulging in the latter ALSO counts as the former.
Have you ever leisurely soaked in the bath while eating a chocolate product at the same time while ignoring/pretending the rest of the world and chores just don’t exist?
No but I have snuggled in bed with multiple quilts and chocolate and either a good book or Autostraddle and the rest of the internet while ignoring/pretending the rest of the world and chores just don’t exist. So I think that counts.
Yes it does.
sounds like my morning.
Chocolate hands down followed by music and fan-fic.
Some people might tell you it’s sleep too but fuck that, my body’s needs are not a vice and I feel similarly about orgasms.
This going to the first Easter since my grandmother passed in December and I’m feeling a little wobbly. I made a new strawberry pie, she’s not going to be here to enjoy it and know she would enjoy very much because strawberries and cream were her favourite.
I thought the eggplant parmigiana for Sunday dinner was going to be the leaky emotional tip over thing but nope it’s pie.
An inclusive pie that all of us can enjoy even me who doesn’t usually enjoy strawberry which is an another aspect of the wobbly feeling, she was always discomfited when I made a dessert I didn’t enjoy eating. Wanted to make sure I had something too.
Some other things I did this week
Just started making spread sheets of ingredient lists so I can quickly reference rather than have to dig for recipes, which is fantastic for my executive dysfunction, it’s awesome.
Used buttermilk for a marinade and I’m pretty sure it’s changed my life, berbere was part of this marinade and it’s the layered aromatics with heat that’s just…yes
Made risotto for the very first time and used the left overs for risotto al salto pizza which I have to share with the gluten troubled people in my life after some fine tuning
My lesson plan to teach a friend basic cooking is getting solid
feeling those “first easter without x” feelings with you ❤️❤️
Eat an extra piece of pie and tell anyone who looks at you sideways that you are enjoying it just for your grandmother. I’m sure she’d want you to.
No one would look at me sideways for eating an extra piece dessert here cause they know IDGAF about food shame and well we’re a culture of “live to eat” not “eat to live” down here.
My brothers’ won’t be there and they’re the only ones who have ever tried to shame me about my body or eating habits, but if they were here I have the Ultimate Silencer By Mom Glare cuz she watched my body suffer thru angioedema and if I can eat a food she will save me seconds, get a to-go of it.
Making sure someone has something, isn’t being left out is a love language both my mother and grandmother have in common.
I think with my grandmother it was a product of being the youngest in large family during the Depression. She was last for everything and got the least of things.
Buttermilk ! So wonderful. If ever you feel like sharing the recipe….
Yes I do
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 garlic cloves
1 tbsp packed brown sugar
1 tbsp curry powder
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp salt
pinch of pepper
It’s for about 2 pounds of meat that you wanna cut into 1 inch(3ish cm)chunks, put it in a gallon sized bag, get things coated real good, push all the air out, seal it real tight, flip every hour and marinate for a minimum of 2 hours but no more than 24.
Cause I’m a spice strumpet I made some adjustments using a mix of my own instead of curry, nixed the red pepper flakes completely for berbere’s aromatic heat.
How I did that was 1 tbsp=3 tsp, so I did 2 tsp my mix and 1 tsp berbere.
Probably added a dash of cinnamon too because I love it very much.
Want to warn that if you want to play with the recipe I would NOT advise subbing the brown sugar for anything else unless it’s like maple or molasses and you make sure to whisk it a bit cause the density of them is different from buttermilk.
And keep in mind this recipe is about the interaction of heat and sweet.
As with any marinade surface area is key so playing with the ratio of “the liquid” to meat is a risk.
Not a health risk just a might not turn out as flavourful and tender as you’d like risk.
Thank you for this ! I usually follow a recipe pretty closely the first time I make it, to get a baseline. I can sense a true cook’s flair at work here, so it’s very inspiring to follow along !
(also I think I may have brought the number of comments to 69, which is fitting)
(also also gee, we were pretty tame this time around LOL, our kinky side must’ve gone off the grid for a good flogging)
Side note a few years back I learned from a customer, who was is from Mozambique, that some Christians celebrate Easter on a different Sunday due to using a different calendar, but Christmas was on the same day, I think. My vice is donuts and cannabis these days. I’m in California so I can readily get both 24/7 and legally may I add. I’m sure if I look I can a medicinal donut. I like it much more than alcohol, except when cooking as I like cooking with whiskey and tequila more than I do with cannabis. Come to think of it the shop I go to has vegan-friendly cannabis butter, it’s Passover tonight so maybe for Saturday after work, I can make garlic-miso tofu and mushroom stir-fry with the medicinal butter and a whiskey-soy sauce glaze. I should really stop thinking about this as I am fasting right now(fast of the first born child for Passover).
How is everyone’s week going? Mines has been a mixed bag. Work is still slow, and a homeless has beef with me cause I am just trying to do my job at work. He called me the f-slur, told him not to, then tried to use gay like it’s a slur, told him I have no problem with that, so he had to start insulting my mother, while still using the f slur. Then the next day he spat on me cause I told him to pick up his refuse and he refused to. I rather not call the cops because, 1) acab/no snitching, 2) rather not see another homeless poc in jail/being harassed by cops. Really ruined my week.
On the plus side, I spent my Sunday in Leo Carrillo area by Malibu and it was beautiful, but also haunting as it was where the fires were last year. So, I saw wildflowers in bloom, next to burnt down trees, signs, and restroom area. It was weirdly relaxing being around new flowers and burnt trees while having some meditative oil. :) Sadly I heard on NPR this week that some of these flowers dry out quickly and can be very flammable.
The path towards the beach I walked on.
Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive and safe holiday weekend!
The first image isn’t showing up for me. Second try.
Al i always love your pictures! also let me know if you do find a pot donut, i wanna try one. i’m thinking about making some of the icing for my cinnamon rolls that i’m making for a brunch pot-laced…but i’m always nervous about ruining weed.
Thank you, friend! Take a drive to California(really any recreational state) and stock up on icing, butter, and other nice treats here. And there are a few places all over the state that sell these donuts, some even dairy-free and/or gluten-free.
I’m a chocoholic. Or just sweets in general. It’s a problem.
chocolate is never a problem friend.
Chocolate/sugar/refined carbs in general, and arguing with people on Twitter, hands-down.
Coca-Cola is probably my biggest vice, as much as I like sugar I can go days/weeks without candy or something sweet but I always want a coke. But I will say I’m only drinking one coke a day as opposed to 4-5 a day like I used to. I’m hoping eventually to phase them out but we’ll see.
diet coke and strippers. i will give up neither, tyvm.
i feel like strippers probably love/appreciate you so much
i think they get excited when they realize i’m not a dude and actually just a lesbian who blushes easily
I bet they do, making people blush is a real rush.
Also in my experience they’re more likely to (if it’s allowed by local ordinances) climb on you for a tip tuck into their g-string or initiate some type trick that involves bodily contact when you’re a queer AFAB person sitting in front the stage.
Makes the money rain and the bouncers don’t seem to worry about us getting grabby like they do other people.
I love this answer The Most
Oh Thank You Molly for not being coy !
Yeah! I really enjoy smoking a bit of cannabis flower and showering with my favourite music playing. It is a very pleasurable and relaxing experience for me. Also when stoned I process feelings, get insights on how to re-decorate my place and conjure up pleasing images whilst listening to music. Also, I’ve noticed that using my imagination has become easier since trying lsd. :-)
Sounds lovely! I really want to try lsd someday.
If you can secure some from a reliable source I’d recommend giving it a go. Such a euphoric fun time even on a small dose.I felt I was able to access the mainframe of my mind and could reprogram more positive views if I wished. A good entry point for me was Michael Pollan’s book “You can Change your Mind” which is about his experiences with entheogens.
Wow y’all here making me feel like such an innocent baby gay with your vices.
Mine are probably just candy and Twitter and I have zero intention of giving up either. But also kinda wish I experimented more with pot when I was living somewhere where it was legal (though let’s not get into how legalisation acts as a mechanism to gain personal information in registers of pot users that can then be used to reinforce pre-existing prohibitionist methods…so i am skeptical).
Anyway, regardless of whether you’re celebrating something, have a great holiday weekend y’all!
Oof that reminded me my love of sour candy and acidic foods is def a vice because my medication has given me dry mouth.
Not supposed to have them anymore but I have a literal box of skittles in a drawer, 3 bags in various places, sour gummies in a jar on a high shelf, sour suckers in a two jars next to the oatmeal.
Cranberries are in my trail mix, all the fruit for snacking I have is quite sour and acidic in fact. I use tomato as base for so many dishes and my favourite jambalaya is red jambalaya which means tomatoes are a major component in it.
But sour candy is supposedly the worst and once a month I eat skittles popcorn >_>
Chocolate costs more but it’s not nearly as bad for me.
Tea. What else can I really say?
in no particular order:
prison shows, weed also, at the moment that spiked sparkling water called truly, amazon prime, giving into whatever my cat chloe wants…oh god there are many…
Weed and hallucinogens when I can get my hands on them. While I think both can really help expand minds and perspectives I partake mostly because it’s fun. Also McDonald’s. I am more than old enough to know better, but sometimes you just need a Big Mac and fries.
Just stopped by to say “Happy 420 y’all.”