Everyone You Love Wants New Autostraddle Merch This Season and We’ve Got Lots

Holigays 2019 Autostraddle See All Holigays 2019 Content


Is there a more satisfying feeling than giving someone a gift you know they would really really dig? That moment when an item leaps out at you— you can picture the person it is destined for, and you are it’s guide to a happy and loving home? Whew, I’ve gotta stop, I’m giving myself chills. Think of me as your friendly Autostraddle Store Elf, guiding you through the kickass new merch we’ve added to store so you can support your favorite website and find that bone deep gift giving satisfaction. Are you ready? Great, let’s roll.


For Your Bestie Who You Love So Much it Makes Your Heart Explode, Despite the Fact That You’d Tear a Hole In Space and Time If You Ever Even Tried to Date

What better way to pledge your undying (platonic) love for your best friend than this incredibly cute and delightful GAL PAL sweatshirt? You know they’ll look stunning in it, plus, who doesn’t want to carry the good vibes of their best gal pal with them in sweatshirt form? Not to mention, if both of you read this guide, you’ll end up gifting each other the same sweatshirt!

*NEW* Gal Pal Sweatshirt ($48)

autostraddle merch gal pal sweatshirt

Julissa is wearing a medium.

Gal Pal Tee in Black or Grey ($25)

autostraddle merch gal pal grey tee

Sa’iyda is wearing a small.

Gal Pal Pin ($10.00)

autostraddle merch gal pal pin


That Hottie You Made Hot Eye Contact With At a Rihanna Concert Three Years Ago & Now You’re Friends (??) but Definitely Still Flirt

Ideally this gift exchange happens under very, very low light and also mistletoe!

*NEW* Lesberado Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch lesberado shirt


Your Teen Cousin

START. THEM. YOUNG.

Gender Traitor Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch gender traitor tee

Kayla is wearing a medium.

Gender Traitor Sweatshirt ($48)

autostraddle merch gender traitor sweatshirts

Morgan is wearing a small.

Gender Traitor Pin ($10)

autostraddle merch gender traitor pin


The Coolest, Boldest Queer You Know, and Kind of Want to Be When You Grow Up

Not for the faint of heart! I suppose if it got too awkward you could pretend you had a deep and abiding love for office supplies, but that isn’t really in the spirit of things, is it? You gotta put this on and look folks in the eye like “You know what I mean, gorgeous.”

*NEW* Scissoring Tee in Black or Grey ($25)

autostraddle merch scissoring black tee

Julissa is wearing an XL.

Scissoring Sweatshirt ($48)

autostraddle merch scissoring sweatshirt grey

Jordan is wearing a small.

Scissor Pin ($10)

autostraddle merch scissor pin


Your Friend Who Loves TV Possibly More Than They Love You

You’ll be going over to their place to watch the The L Word reboot because they’re the one friend in your group with all the streaming channels and Showtime, so show your thanks accordingly!

*NEW* To L and Back Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch to l and back tee

Sabine is wearing an XL.

*NEW* To L and Back Holographic Sticker ($3)


That Non-Binary Babe In Your Book Club Who Always Sits Next To You

Take those book club flirtations to the next level with this sexy tee—and while you’re at it, spring for pronoun pins for the group get everyone practicing good pronoun etiquette!

*NEW* They/Them or She/Her Pronoun Pin ($10)

autostraddle merch she/her and they/them pronoun pins

Non-Binary Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch non binary shirt

Julissa is wearing a medium.


Your Friend Who is Constantly Picking Folks Up— Yes, Even At The Gas Station

Make it that much easier for them to get the point whenever they enter a room!

*NEW* Who All’s Gay Here Tee in Black or White ($25)

autostraddle merch who all's gay here black tee

Sai’yda is wearing a small.

*NEW* Who All’s Gay Here Hat ($22)

autostraddle merch who all's gay here hat


Your Bisexual Buddy Who Somehow Still Has The Energy To Educate People About Bisexual Folks

No good soldier in the war against biphobia should go unarmed!

*NEW* Bi Vintage Black Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch bisexual bi shirt

Julissa is wearing an XL.

*NEW* Bi Pin ($10)

autostraddle merch bisexual pin


That Friend That Effortlessly Hosts Queer Brunch Every Month

It is not easy to keep everyone’s dietary restrictions memorized! But it is Queer as Fuck so get ‘em a t-shirt that respects that!

Queer As Fuck Heather Mustard Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch queer as fuck mustard tee

LeahAnn is wearing an XL.


Your Boo Who Makes Hats Look Effortless and Cool, Even Though You Always Feel Like A Dweeb in Them

Your boo deserves this rockin’ DYKES hat, and you can make that dream come true!!

*NEW* Dykes Hat ($22)


Literally Any Human Being on the Earth

I cannot think of a single person that doesn’t need this shirt. This shirt is the smell of air before snow, this shirt is curling up with a book by a fire, this shirt will clear your skin and improve your credit score. Give it to every person in your life, and do it posthaste.

*NEW* Bette For Mayor Tee ($25)

autostraddle merch bette for mayor tee

Sabine is wearing an L.


Holiday Delivery Deadlines

To get your deliveries in time for the holidays make sure to place your order by

Dec 13th – UPS Mail Innovations
Dec 16th – UPS Ground
Dec 17th – USPS Priority
Dec 20th – UPS Next Day Air

Note: These dates are for domestic orders–we have no guarantee for international orders, so if you’re based outside of the US please order sooner rather than later. ♡


Photographer / Molly Adams
Conceptual Ideas / Riese + Sarah Sarwar
Designers / Sarah Sarwar, Mika Albornaz, Raisa Yehmen, Betty Turbo, Rory Midhani, Alex Vega
Printing + Production / HelloMerch, Mammoth Printshop, The Pin People, Apollo
Models / Jordan, Chloe, LeahAnn, Sabine, Sai’yda, Julissa, Morgan, Kayla, Lauren, Sarah

Christina Tucker is writer and podcaster living in Philadelphia. Find her on Twitter or Instagram!

Christina has written 14 articles for us.

13 Comments

  1. Ooh liking that new they/them pin. I already have to the og purple one, the larger green one, and will get this to have all three. How does the size vs the other two? The only thing I want is that NB shirt in pin form. I also plan to get the misandrist pin for my bff cause she keeps getting banned on social media for saying ALL MEN ARE TRASH.

    • Thanks! It was designed by the amazing Betty Turbo (www.bettyturbo.com) who also designed our Bette for Mayor tee. These are 1″ tall, so slightly smaller but infinitely more shiny. It’s a similar size to the OG purple pin.

      Agreed on the NB shirt in pin form — we’ll see how it does this season and will potentially do it. And yes, your BFF definitely needs our Misandrist pin. 100%.

    • any chance you all will do a he/him pronoun pin sometime? I know it’s not your primary audience but many non binary people use he/him (and lots of queer women/nb people date people who use he/him)

      personally I use he/they but would only want to buy the they/them one if I can also get a matching he/him

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