Do You Want to Want More Sex? Luckily it’s Lesbosexy Sunday!

amber-heardCONSTANT CRAVING: Women Who Want to Want – Studies suggest that around 30 percent of young and middle-aged women (defined as between 20 and 60 percent of women) go through extended periods of feeling dim desire — no desire for sex whatsoever — and 7 to 15 percent of all young or middle aged women (between 20-60 years old) feel depressed over a lack of sexual desire.

Lori Brottois now one of the world’s leading specialists in what is known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women. She is in charge of defining the condition’s criteria for the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is complicated especially as the chapter on Sexualty has been plagued by former snafus like characterizing homosexuality as a mental disorder until 1987.

“Women who talk about having no libido, she recalled thinking at the time, describe their disconnection and despair during sex in something of the same way borderline-personality patients talk about their entire lives.”

Her methods for treatment have then been much like her strategies for treating Borderline. It’s a really interesting read, and the cover story in Sunday’s New York Times Magazine.

MORE ON THE LADY VIAGRA THING: In another New York Times article, we learn that 44.6 percent of those age 45 to 64 reported a problem with desire, arousal or orgasm, compared with 27.2 percent of women age 18 to 44 — but now the new female viagra might be the “elixir of love” they’ve been looking for.

THE FRISKY: The Frisky names Heroes’ Claire & Gretchen as one of the top six couplings they’d like to see on the teevee this season! (@the frisky)

HOW TO: How to perform tribadism: Tribadism or so called frottage(dry humping) is one of the most enjoyable sex practices among lesbian women. Many lesbians find tribadism extremely arousing where you can both enjoy the sort of non-penetrating sex and have quite intense orgasm.

SEXY TUMBLR ALERT: Basically this is what you are going to do all day, just face it – things that excite me.

SEX FADS: 8 New Internet Sex Fads: From an iPhone app that measures and scores your sexual prowess to a website that’s tracking where, when and how the entire world is getting laid, internet sexcessories are getting stranger by the day. (@the daily beast)

sex-scenes

QUEER PORN:Courtney Trouble is v. excited about the release of her new film Roulette Dirty South: “… this film sets out to expose the diverity of desire through a collection of vignettes, paying careful attention to high chemistry, queer desire, and of course, incredible music by queer musicians … Roulette is a game of chance, and like the game, this film is fun, flirtatious, and full of surprises. Starring real couples, gorgeous solo acts, and Trouble’s first documented female ejaculation.”

SEXY TOYS: Sex Toys and I Are Back Together: “Sex toys are like online-hookups; when they are good you fall in love and fantasize about moving in with them right away. When they’re bad you feel dirty and possibly end up rocking back and forth in a corner of your therapist’s office petting your hair and mumbling to yourself. “(@shewired)drew-barrymore

DIVA: Lesbian DIVA UK magazine has launched its XXX Lesbian Sex Website so you can go watch lesbian sex right now if you want!

MOONLIGHT: According to this writer, Twilight “represents a backlash to the ‘hooking up’ culture … a way for young girls to acknowledge their emerging sexuality without actually having sex,” because “girls want love not just sex.” BLERGH. Holy generalizations, batman! But I do understand that in high school, the social pressure on boys to have NSA sex is redic and part of our misogynistic society etc etc.

DAILY SEX: The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010. (@coed)

SEX WORKERS: Audacia Ray reflects on what a year of professional feminism has done for her perspective on the Sex Worker movement in the U.S., with special attention on her conversation on a group of Indian sex workers who asked: “If the movement in America has so many well-educated people in it, why haven’t you collectivized? Why isn’t your movement bigger and better? And if you can’t do that, what hope do we have?” (@waking vixen)

DIRTY GIRLS: Rachel Kramer Bussel:“Remember when I said that my erotica doesn’t sell? Well, a lot of it doesn’t sell that well, at least, not in proportion to the time it takes me to edit the books/money+effort spent promoting them. But I just got yet another royalty check for Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women and was thrilled to see that since it went on sale in April 2008, it’s sold over 10,000 copies, making it far and away my bestselling book (that I get royalties on). I’m so thrilled so wanted to share some information about it here.” The first story in the book, Fucking Around, is by Riese who edits this here website.

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2885 articles for us.

19 Comments

  1. 1. i am excited for the new DSM because i am a nerd. even though it is probably one of the most problematic books ever written and continues to be.
    2. wow, only on page 3 of 1139 of that tumblr. better do some catching up.
    3. tribadism sounds like trepanning to me.
    4. that raisin exercise would totally disgust me because i just cannot deal with raisins for some reason.
    5. “she began her career studying the libidos of rats”- i had two female rats who had no probs at all with their libido. they used to frantically 69 all the time. and i would react like a horrified mother and scream and take one of them out of the cage. maybe i am conservative? but also, they were sisters.

  2. also, while i am on a roll here, i love how some of the most important aspects of women’s sexuality are euphemized constantly. like “she cautions that even if a product helps arousal, that is not the same as desire.” sometimes i feel like talking about women “getting wet” is the ultimate taboo. i mean, how oversaturated is everything with jokes about boners? hello, we are half the population and get turned on a different way…can we just start employing some kind of normal vocabulary around that? because it pisses me off.

  3. Wow, was written to/for me? I thought I was just celibate to have a safer, healthier, clearer, drama free life but no I guess I have ‘dim desire’ and I must be depressed because I am not having sex. I love how the ‘experts’ always feel the need to give things symptoms, a label and treatment. Its sad. Like depressants to cure the too happy.

    And Twilight was just shit, people need to stop trying to make it more than it was. A cracked out looking dramatic boy left his heavy breathing girlfriend then she flirty and lead on a cuter but pathetic boy. The end. Analyzing one of the most underwhelming, over hyped movies of all time makes me want to slap the writers.

    • ditto…but we shouldnt slap them(cause they might turn it around and claim that there is a rise in violent/aggressive homosexuals and then offer up a diagnosis to something called psychomosexualisis and treat it with some sort of drug like tylenol but not really)…..
      we should just look at them with a very mean pointing face.. no?
      ok slapping them it is d—o.O—b

    • yes! MsNJS, that is how i feel! i appreciate that someone out there apparently wants us to have better sex lives (slash sell us pharmaceuticals) but i am also not convinced that you are somehow dysfunctional or have a condition just because you do not feel the same way about sex as a fourteen-year-old boy. it’s not that women actually just want love not sex, but it’s maybe kind of ridiculous to expect them to want sex in the exact same way as men, and then try to treat them if they don’t.

  4. True story- last week I was working on my strange mixed media project in painting and my teacher became obsessed with looking up the French term for what I was doing (some mixture of collage and decollatage, I’m sure) and so he brought over this book and sat down next to me and started reading the French terms out loud, butchering the pronunciations. And when he got to Frottage (which means ‘rubbing’ and is used in art to describe crayon/pencil rubbings of textured surfaces, like we did with leaves in grade school) it’s like he became fixated on the word and kept talking about it and saying it out loud… He was using it to talk about art, but having this crazy, 45-year-old, hippie painter guy blurting out Frottage over and over… it was both hysterical and mortifying!

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