Dianna Agron Loves Gays and Women But Isn’t Gay. I’m So Sorry.

During the Toronto leg of the Glee tour on Saturday night, Diana Agron sent the hearts of a thousand tiny lesbians aflutter after switching out her “Luck Caboosey” t-shirt for one that says “Likes Girls.” Despite being the teasingest of teases, Diana is not actually a gay lady. She said so on tumblr.

“Yesterday, during our second show,  Instead of wearing my usual shirt during “Born This Way” I decided to wear one that said “Likes Girls”. It should actually have read, “Loves Girls”, because I do… No, I am not a lesbian, yet if I were, I hope that the people in my life could embrace it whole-heartedly.”

I know you like her hair, and she likes all the right things, and there are all those rumors but it turns out she’s just a rad straight girl after all. In her post, she discusses Glee’s reception and talks about how she wasn’t raised to accept prejudice.

Last night, I wanted to do something  to show my respect and love for the GLBT community. Support that people could actually see…Our show celebrates the GLBT community. We are proud to be a part of something that embraces an often avoided topic.

It’s a fantastic show of suport but at the risk of looking a gift horse in the mouth, I’m going to go ahead and say that I’m a little torn on how I feel about the t-shirt deal. I’m all for LGBT visibility and support, but somehow claiming to be queer when you’re not feels like co-opting the struggle. Maybe I’m trying to intellectualize what is really the very teenage and very gay parts of me feeling cock-blocked when I find out a girl who “likes girls” doesn’t in fact like girls.

This picture is gay. Diana Agron is not.

You may now weep and/or opine.


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Laura is a tiny girl who wishes she were a superhero. She likes talking to her grandma on the phone and making things with her hands. Strengths include an impressive knowledge of Harry Potter, the ability to apply sociology to everything under the sun, and a knack for haggling for groceries in Spanish. Weaknesses: Chick-fil-a, her triceps, girls in glasses, and the subjunctive mood. Follow the vagabond adventures of Laura and her bike on twitter [@laurrrrita].

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98 Comments

  1. I agree with you. I think it’s one thing to be an ally and another entirely to wear a t-shirt proclaiming you like girls when you don’t. I can’t imagine any of my straight friends being comfortable with doing that and I wouldn’t want them to – like this is my struggle and it’s great you want to help, but you aren’t actually gay so I feel like there is a line you don’t cross? I don’t know, maybe I have too many feelings.

    • You know what? I think that this is GREAT.

      A straight (assuming) girl happily wears a tshirt that says she’s gay even though she isn’t. Because she likes the tshirt.

      That’s a worlllllld away from the standard ‘OMG better make sure no-one think’s I’m a lesbian!!’/ ‘remember to add a feminine touch!’ kind of thinking that usually is around.

      I like it 🙂

      She corrected the assumption but she wasn’t panicked about people making the mistake in the first place. She didn’t give the tshirt a second thought (ok, I’m assuming that!) because it wouldn’t matter if someone thought she was gay, wouldn’t cross her mind as something she’d want to guard against.

      PROGRESS!

  2. I’ve been following all of this on tumblr since yesterday.

    When I first saw the photo, before Dianna had posted her explanation/essay, my immediate reaction was, “Is this real life? Is she coming out on stage in front of thousands of people? Holy shit she is a BAMF.” (Literally, that’s what I posted on my FB. I may also have said “I told you so” to my wife who always rolled her eyes at me when I insisted Dianna was at least gay-ish.) Then Dianna’s post went up on her tumblr. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I read, “I am not a lesbian.” Because she is a lead character on a very popular show & would do a lot for visibility/acceptance, especially among younger people. And she’s hot.

    But ultimately, I respect what she was trying to do. She wanted to show her support for the LGBT community in a very visible way, and while wearing a shirt that implies that she herself is gay when she’s not may not have been the best way to go about that, I understand her intentions. The message of her post was beautiful, and I hope most people who read it can see that instead of getting hung up on that one sentence about her sexuality. (Which, BTW, all she said is she’s not a lesbian. That doesn’t mean she’s straight. Just saying.)

    She seems like a sweet person with a very big heart, who loves freely & openly. I think of her as kind of a neo-hippie, she’d fit right in with the “Free Love” mentality. She’s also young, and not perfect. She obviously did this on her own, without publicists or managers guiding her, and I respect that. She seems more concerned with being honest than with what her actions may do to help or harm her career. I don’t think she had any bad intentions in wearing the shirt, she wasn’t purposely trying to mislead people, so I hope she doesn’t get too much shit for this. I know I still respect & support her.

  3. I still love her, and I chose to read her statement as “I’m not a lesbian yet; if I were…”

    Besides…she still hasn’t denied the rumours with Lea annnnnd not being a lesbian does not necessarily rule out the “Likes Girls” aspect. (Fingers crossed for her still being bi).

  4. She didn’t say she wasn’t bisexual, amirite?

    Sorry, just not up in arms about this one. I am all for people co-opting the struggle if it gets the struggle more attention and isn’t more negative than it is good, and I don’t think that’s the case here. I wish it was a coming out story because it would challenge so many assumptions (“you don’t look like a lesbian!” probably being foremost among them) but hey. You takes em wheres you can finds em.

  5. I’m still holding onto the tiny little shred of possibility that she does like girls. Maybe she isn’t into labels? Maybe she is bisexual? Let me have thissssss. haha

  6. well, since they’re supposed to be in character on tour, I assumed it meant Quinn was bisexual and would explore her sexuality (with Santana) next season, that perhaps her line in the finale, “I’m flattered Santana, but I’m really not that into that” would be revealed as a classic case of “doth protesting too much.” I was hoping it was a little season 3 spoiler, and never assumed it had anything to do with Dianna’s sexuality. Also, I encourage everyone to read her entire tumblr post. She realizes that she may have been misguided, but it’s clear that she has a good heart and that she genuinely cares about the LGBT community.
    This was all over the place. I’m in a rush. Gotta go!

  7. As a “straight” (but spiritually queer) lady, I applaud the message behind Agron’s actions. I don’t necessarily feel that she is co-opting or trivializing the struggle for equality, but instead that she is drawing attention to how the labels we use to define our identities are so irrelevant in the long run. Not that being queer, or black, or Asian, or what have you ISN’T an important part of one’s identity, because it is. But when it comes to a person’s TRUE character, those labels really don’t matter, which is the message of the song/routine. People are people.

    There are times when I feel very out of place and insecure on this website just because I’m straight. Like, “Oh, everyone here just thinks that I’m here because I want so desperately to be alternative. Can I say anything of relevance? I’m not gay, how can I possibly have a valid understanding of anything here?”

    But you know what? Screw those thoughts! Why can’t my involvement here be enough? Why do I need to analyze my reasons for being here? I like it here! Why should I be ashamed of my straightness? I was born this way!

    The pissed/annoyed responses to Agron’s move show that while on the one hand members and supporters of the GLBT community want equality and harmony, there is still this fixation with labeling oneself, of setting oneself apart from others. How does that promote harmony? Maybe I’m being ignorant or naive, but wouldn’t harmony and equality come when people stop caring about labels in general, and just accept others for the the beauty of their character, and aren’t hung up on who they sleep with?

    • Screw those thoughts indeed! You are wanted and welcomed here. Idk I think the AS team have always been pretty clear that while this is a queer website it’s not a queer-only space… that is something I like about it personally, queer community is important to me, but not if it means I have to dwell in a separatist colony.

      As for the t-shirt, eh, it’s just a t-shirt. A t-shirt worn by a famous lady to show her support for LGBTIQ people. Yeah the “likes girls” thing was a little misguided, but to me it’s clear her heart is in the right place, so… eh. There are so many giant asshats on this planet, that douche who faked Gay Girl in Damascus perhaps being today’s sad proof of that fact. I’d rather save my condemnation for people like that, Agron’s attempts to be supportive through her t-shirt choices are fine by me 🙂

      • Dizzy said it perfectly! I think there’s a huge place for you and Diana and other straight people in queer movements. I’m not angry or offended or disappointed in her nor do I think what she did was gimmicky. I’m actually really happy that people speak up in support when nothing is compelling them to. I just think that “misguided” is a superappropriate word for how I feel about her shirt thing. I think aligning yourself with a group of people is a noble thing but assuming an identity that you don’t actually have/assert is not quite the best understanding of what it means to be an ally.

    • “Straight (but spiritually queer) lady”. This is such a perfect description of me as well. Nailed it! I’ve been reading Autostraddle forever but hardly ever comment. I don’t want to say it’s because I don’t feel that I have the right to, but more because I don’t want to come off as douchey because I realize I can’t fully appreciate a number of the issues being discussed (though I do still have lots of feelings about things!)
      Anyway, about Dianna. I can definitely appreciate what she’s trying to do here, and as someone else said, it’s pretty cool and definitely a sign of progress that she’s not freaking out that people might think she’s queer. Perhaps there could have been a better way to show her support, but I do genuinely think her heart was in the right place. Although, I’m still not fully convinced that her and Lea’s relationship is totally platonic.

  8. This would have been the most amazing coming out ever so I was disappointed when I read her tumblr post afterwards. I do so love a dramatic gesture. Even though she didn’t come out, I still appreciate the visibility that she brought to the issue. I was watching people respond to her on twitter and other places and she really got people talking about the issue…some people that were clearly a tiny bit homophobic and she opened their hearts a bit when they thought she was queer. So, much to my surprise, I’m fine with it.

  9. I agree that wearing a shirt that claims to be a lesbian isn’t the best way to be an ally, but I appreciate the thought behind it, thought she articulated herself well and I still think she’s totally dreamy. They should just get her a shirt that says something like “LOVES LESBIANS.” Yay!

  10. Two things here.
    1. The “Likes Girls” shirt is Riker Lynch’s. For those of you who don’t know, he’s a Warbler and he’s great. His tumblr makes me smile.
    2. Dianna Agron is flawless. She may not have necessarily gone about the whole “Likes Girls” thing the best way but I love her and I can get behind her and everything she chooses to be. My friend and I are putting out bets on how non-heterosexual she is. Leela’s got money on a kinsey 1 or 2, I’m putting my money on pans.
    It’s only a matter of time, really.
    Everyone is straight until they’re not.

  11. I love straight allies. I loooove them. They can be privileged assholes sometimes, but they are privileged assholes who care. (I remind myself that in my efforts to be an ally to people of color and trans* people, I have unintentionally acted like a privileged asshole, and will likely do so in the future.) A straight girl wearing a “likes girls” shirt falls into the category of privileged assholery. I have a problem with straight people* who call themselves “queer,” and with this choice of Dianna’s. It’s easy to call yourself queer when nobody can (or ever would) use that word/fact against you.

    *except poly or kinky straight people, and even then I’m ambivalent.

    • I’m with you. I agree with what you’ve said and Laura’s original post and I don’t think either of you are over-intellectualizing what Dianna did. I too can think of times as a white person of privilege I wanted so badly to support other marginalized groups that I crossed into areas of identity voyeurism. And I probably offended those I wanted to help. And you know what? I am sorry I did that and I continually work to be a better ally for my friends of color, working class friends and family, and more. There’s nothing wrong with critiquing allies, it will probably just make them more effective and strengthen their relationship to LGBT people. Good allies should be open to such critiques.

      I also realize that others queer people might NOT be offended by this, but the fact that there seems to be quite a few of us who ARE offended by it is meaningful.

  12. I’ve seen so much ridiculousness directed at Dianna over this t-shirt in the last day or two that it just makes me sad. Are we really going to give this girl a hard time for trying to do something positive(however misguided some may feel she went about it)? Sometimes straight allies are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

    She could have done nothing at all or she could have used her celebrity as a platform to get on stage and tell her fans that if her son told her he was gay she would stab him and that being gay is a choice that people are brainwashed into, like Tracy Morgan just did.

    I, for one, appreciate what she was trying to do. And I wish more straight people were like her. It beats constantly hearing from the ones who don’t want us to have any rights and think we are hyper-sensitive whiners who can’t take a joke.

  13. Everyone is all like “oh I have so much more respect for her” but really I don’t. She’s calling attention to herself by proclaiming something that is expected of her as part of a show like Glee. Furthermore, I (as a gay young person) don’t need to see another ally in the media. I need to see more gay people. It was a major fakeout, and justifying it by saying “I love the women in my life who inspire me” is one major cop out.

    She is straight, skinny, white, and blonde and is inserting herself into a battle that is not hers to fight. While I appreciate allies, I resent what she’s doing. And is it not possible that what she did undermines other lesbians in the media? So many celebrities have spoken out in support of this cause, and every little bit helps, but she’s doing so in a very manipulative way. She even let all of tumblr think she was gay for like a day and half. Not cool if you ask me.

    • Okay, hello, yes. This is exactly what I’m trying to say. I feel manipulated. As someone who has a Likes Girls shirt that I wear because I LIKE GIRLS AS IN I LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM, I saw someone that I respect and admire in the same shirt and I was so excited, because I chose to believe that she wouldn’t wear that shirt if she didn’t like girls in ~that way. I briefly thought, during the Tumblr explosion, “Tomorrow she’s going to say, ‘I do like girls! There are so many girls in my life that I love! My mom, my best friend…’ but then I told myself that she WOULDN’T. Because that’s a fucking shitty move. Lo and behold, that’s pretty much exactly what she said.

      Blah.

    • I wholeheartedly agree. As much as I love Dianna Agron, I don’t like what she did.There was like an hour where I was like holy shit a girl all my friends like in the media whose gay! And then she wasn’t. We have loads of skinny, blonde allies and no gay girls in the media. Lesbian and bisexual are not just identities you co-opt for attention, they get fucked around enough and used for all the wrong purposes constantly and she isn’t helping.

      • But see, I don’t see her shirt wearing as “taking on” a lesbian identity. If she had worn a shirt that said “lesbian”, then I would agree with that.

        But the text on the shirt is sort of ambiguous. Likes girls. Everybody likes girls! I’m straight, but hey, I like girls! My bff is a girl. I adore her, and am planning on getting her name tattooed on my arm because she is my rock and I would sooner take a bullet for her than for any of my blood relatives. But anyway.

        Being a celebrity, of course she will garner attention for wearing the shirt. But like I said in my post above, I don’t feel as though her intention was to take on a lesbian identity, but more to show that it doesn’t matter one way or the other if someone is attracted to someone of the same sex. We live in a society in which we constantly need to reaffirm our sexual orientation through words (denying/confirming) and visual cues. Sometimes even those things aren’t enough. My family thinks I’m a closeted lesbian because I’m voluntarily single. But even my confirmation of my heterosexuality isn’t enough to convince them. But to me, it doesn’t matter what others think. If people think I’m gay, who cares? I let my actions define me.

        The “problems” with Agron’s actions lie only in that you can’t clearly SEE one’s sexuality. So because she wore the shirt, people are all like, “Oooo, she’s pretending to be a lesbian, that’s not right.” But if this were the 1950s/60s, and she wore a shirt that read “African American”, would people think she was being deceitful? I doubt that, because she is clearly white. Such an action would be viewed as an attempt to bridge the gap between races. It would be seen as bold rather than manipulative. So why is this particular situation seen as a bad thing? She’s clearly reaching out to the LGBTQ community. She isn’t ashamed of her gay fans, she isn’t scared of others thinking she’s gay. It doesn’t matter to her. You can like girls, or you can LIKE girls. In the end, we’re all people.

        I sort of ramble…I think that there are many different thoughts/feelings in this post, and I don’t know if they all make sense in a cohesive way.

        • I’m not trying to be a complete bitch here but really? If you wear the shirt that usually belongs to the lesbian character that says you are coming out.
          You don’t like girls. You are straight. You know what was being said by the t-shirt and if you actually were gay and were stuck constantly seeing your identity hijacked to sell porn or sell a few magazines, you’d be pissed too. The whole thing would be grand if she wore a shirt saying likes gays or something, but she didn’t. She assumed an identity that wasn’t hers.

          • Two things.

            1. No, the shirt did not belong to the lesbian character. Santana’s shirt says “lebanese” not “likes girls”.

            2. The “likes girls” shirt actually belongs one of the guys who plays a Warbler.

            Now, we can all get back to reprimanding Dianna Agron for trying to be supportive of the gay community.

          • Its sold as a more generic and less you have to watch the show version of Kurts ‘likes boys’ shirt. You all know what the obvious assumption from her wearing the shirt was.

            I know what she was doing and I know it was coming from a good place because it does seem like she really cares and wants to support us but this isn’t how you do it. This is roughly the same as straight girls kissing in clubs and then saying they’re bisexual

          • “This is roughly the same as straight girls kissing in clubs and then saying they’re bisexual”

            Just to point it out- that isn’t the same thing at all, and it was a really disappointing comment to read. In general people trying to police bisexuality and making comments like that make it really hard for bi kids who are still coming to terms with their sexuality, and seeing it on my favorite site brought back some unpleasant memories :/ I get that that probably wasn’t what you were trying to say but please be more careful with your examples.

          • Except that’s not the shirt usually worn by the lesbian character. Santana’s/Naya’s shirt says “Lebanese.” “Likes Girls” is sold at the merchandise booths, I’m assuming as a counterpart to Kurt’s “Likes Boys” shirt, but was not worn by any of the characters on the show.

        • But I don’t think you can simultaneously say that her intention was to be ambiguous AND question why people thought she was coming out. Because with the first statement, you suggest that people were sort of supposed to think she was coming out – that’s part of why she stayed silent so long. If Chris didn’t wear a “Likes Boys” shirt because his character is gay, I think people would have less reason to have presumed. But given his shirt, and given that Quinn’s not gay – well, what else were people really supposed to think?

          It was a double-edged gesture and I do feel a bit ungrateful criticizing her because there’s no doubt her heart was completely in the right place and that’s what counts. The fact that she did that and didn’t care what people would think of her is amazing and I hope that everyone who was disappointed can at least appreciate that. I also wish people would stop labeling her “straight” since she never did and the WHOLE POINT was that she was bucking the notion of “straight until proven gay”. In a lot of ways, I think the labeling is a lot more toxic than anything Agron did. Her whole point was that she doesn’t care and neither should anyone else – at best, anyone reporting on this can say she’s not a lesbian, not that she’s straight. And labeling her is actually what’s causing a lot of the criticism, I think, because that’s not what everyone got out of her post and as long as there’s room for interpretation, why make a definitive statement?

          Anyway, rant aside, my point is that even Dianna acknowledged that some people might not like her methods and this is what she was talking about. She knows her fanbase and she knows the rumors and she knew what that shirt would mean to some people. Lesbians and girls who really do like girls already aren’t taken seriously and I sort of shudder to think at the amount of hopeful people who got called delusional for daring to think a pretty girl like Dianna was coming out after she made that entry. And while I’m all for getting past that and focusing on her good intentions, I can understand where some may not be.

  14. I’m disappointed, honestly, and I know I shouldn’t be because obviously her intentions were good. She’s like 99% flawless and I’m not used to being annoyed by her, but damn it, I am ANNOYED. This wasn’t the right way to go about it and I’m frustrated and I’m annoyed and I’m disappointed and blergh I had to blacklist her name on Tumblr because I can’t deal with her right now. I can’t.

    I appreciate that she brought visibility to the issue and maybe a few people who were previously closed-minded have become a little more accepting. I don’t appreciate the way she did it.

  15. I think it’s kind of badass of Dianna not to care if thousands of people see her with that shirt on– I mean, knowing that more people are going to see the picture than are going to read her tumblr post.

    That being said, yeah, from a queer perspective it’s a little problematic (co-opting an identity that isn’t yours.) But I don’t know, Dianna’s probably been too busy playing Quinn Fabray and being awesome to read up on identity politics. Her heart was in the right place with it.

    All of the Glee kids’ attitudes towards LGBT visibility are just fascinating, as is the fact that you can place them on a spectrum from out & proud (Chris) to joyously brimming with support for the gay community without ever saying anything specifically about one’s sexuality (Naya) to being spontaneously supportive of the gay community while casually/occasionally asserting straightness (Dianna & most of the rest of the cast) to constantly mentioning one’s straightness while also apparently being supportive of one’s gay storyline (cough Darren Criss cough cough.) Someone should write a paper on them and what it means for the future of gay America or something.

  16. Not gonna lie, Like Laura I feel a tad clitblocked. Christ on a cracker she is just… um… wow.

    That aside, I do applaud her. As so many people before me said her intentions were good and she’s doing her best to spread acceptance to the very wide audience the show had. It’s not just alright to be gay, it’s alright to support your gay friends and not worry about your identity. No matter what, you’re accepted. That’s kind of a big deal, especially in the area I am temporarily live in. Being gay or looking gay is such a taboo to the older generation that it’s a rumor that’ll spread like wild fire if they suspect it. Being linked to being gay is negative, scandalous and horrifying. However here Miss Argon is, teaching these peoples kids (and I know that many follow Glee) that that logic is flawed and hurtful. It’s okay.

    I quit watching Glee because the story lines made the writer side of me throw things at my TV, but crappy storytelling aside I always thought they always did a great job on the GLBT side of things. They’ve really helped pave the way (imo) for gay acceptance on basic Network TV when all most people saw of gay characters and gay support came from Will & Grace.

  17. I think on this one I’m going to take the “Likes Girls” to mean what she said: “It should actually have read, “Loves Girls”, because I do.”

    There’s a lot of general woman/girl hate out there and it’s nice to hear that someone (even/especially platonically) loves girls.

  18. I didn’t care about the whole affair in the first place, probably because I don’t like or care about Dianna Agron, but now that she’s said she’s not gay, this irritates me. It just feels like appropriation, which is not the same thing as support. Why could she not have had a shirt that said “Likes Gays,” instead?
    I feel like she decided her shirt made her look fat, and they let her wear the one they had originally made for Santana. Because if this is a show of support, it’s really uncomfortable.

  19. Maybe it’s because I saw the tumblr post last night before finding out about the shirt thing, but I just saw it as her showing support in a special “inside joke” glee way. Though I admit I might feel differently if I saw her wearing the shirt first without context, cause then I’d probably end up being excited and then bummed.

  20. I said this before, but GUYS, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CHARACTER ON TOUR. So we should be disappointed that Quinn Fabray is not gay, not that Dianna Agron isn’t. I mean, Heather Morris isn’t “stoopid.” Presumably Ashley Fink does not have a “bad attitude.” And as much as I’d love to think otherwise, Naya is not “lebanese.”

    • They are supposed to be in character, but they break it a lot. Darren even said “Hi Chris” instead of “Hi Kurt” at one of the Toronto shows. Don’t know if that was by accident or on purpose, but the line between in-character & out-of-character is muddy. They do all kinds of things in the background while others are singing that would not really be considered in character. It’s clear (at least to me) that it was Dianna making a statement by wearing the “Likes Girls” shirt, not Quinn.

  21. Wait. I bet anything she just got ketchup on her regular shirt and that was the only clean one that didn’t say something super character specific like “No Weave” or “Can’t Dance” on it. That’s totes what happened. Nailed it.

  22. This reminds me of stories of Paris in ’68, when protesters chanted “we are all German Jews” in solidarity with Daniel Cohn-Bendit, a protest leader who had been deported as a “seditious alien” – or of Spartacus, when everyone stands up and says “I am Spartacus”. Beautiful moments of love and solidarity, I think.

  23. It’s disheartening to see so many people angry at Dianna’s actions. I mean, really, how many other celeb-allies wear gay-pride shirts? Are we going to condemn someone for wearing a shirt with a rainbow on it if they’re not gay? Or, how about all of our straight friends who walk with us in Pride Parades? Are they suddenly “co-opting” our identities for a tacky gimmick, or are they just working within the established visibility to show their support for us? I think Dianna’s actions are great: if people assumed she’s a lesbian, then she finds nothing wrong with that. And you know what, I’d rather have people support us like this just say: “Oh, I can’t be homophobic; all my friends are gay!”

    Also, she can’t help being straight. She was born that way. (Just like you, @Nina . And we love you no less for it.)

    • I agree that it’s disheartening to see. I find it interesting that at the same time people are angry at Tracy Morgan for all the homophobic things he said during his big comedy show that some people also seem angry at Dianna for basically doing the opposite. On a personal level, it just gives my grandmother more fuel to her theory that their is just no pleasing gay people so why try. I hope Dianna isn’t discouraged from being vocal about her support for the gay community in the future, though I’ve mostly seen positive things being said elsewhere.

  24. I have another question for the nay-sayers: Would you really prefer her to wear a shirt that says “I Love Lesbians” or “I Support LGBT”? I can imagine a lot of us would find that to be a back-handed compliment, like it’d imply that she’s “cool” with gays but doesn’t want to be mistaken for one. That one would be far more of an “I’M STRAIGHT” defense than what she’s done here.

    • I dunno if I’d call that a backhanded compliment per se. I think it seems more patronizing. Like, “Ooooo, look at the cute little gay people!” Saying something like “I love lesbians/gays” seems less a desire to align oneself with the gay community, and more fetishizing it like an accessory.

      • Yeah, fetishizing it is definitely a good way of putting it. It pisses me off to no end when I hear people talk about how bisexuality is “trendy”; same kind of shit. I would still call it a backhanded compliment though. How else do you call a statement that says: “I support these people but I would NEVER want to be one.”

    • agreed. and all this criticism (some of it probably justified) being hurled in her direction just makes me love her more…like I feel protective, especially with her paragraph about wanting to stay in bed all day and crying yourself to sleep and not being perfect. Oh, celebrity…

  25. A straight girl is not unlike a unicorn: mythical creature I’ve heard of but never actually seen. Every alleged straight girl is either one drink, one bad boyfriend or one suggestive remark from a “not straight” girl from becoming a switch hitter. That you can take to the bank.

    And if you need any more metaphors for that mix I’m sure I can whip some up.

  26. I can not, for the life of me, locate the problem with her wearing that shirt. When I saw the picture, I assumed it was just about the fact that Glee is queer as folk. I figured it was just a flag that she’s an ally. Not a manipulative attempt to co-opt anything to whatever end.

    I was going to counter specific points about why I think this is a non-issue and the co-opting argument seems controlling and unfair. But, honestly, thinking about this makes me tired.

  27. Glee is a terrible show, guys. Let’s be real. However, the visibility of the gays on TV is worth putting up with it. Her post on tumblr was great and better than what I imagine most actors could write or even emote freely. I think she’s part of something bigger than herself and she knows it, but is managing just fine.

    so basically it comes down to: haters gonna hate.

  28. I’m all in favour.

    Thing one: She’s an actress. If she wants to actively make a choice to use her loud voice to play the part of a lesbian and share a positive public image of the gay community, I say yes.

    Thing two: I get to stare at her in that shirt and pretend I didn’t read anything about her being straight.

    Anyway….there’s always next year.

  29. I strongly agree with your opinion. She cannot just appropriate the struggles that I have, and you have and then be able to shed it like a t-shirt (see what I did there). But I respect what she was trying to do. Trying to show her support. Yes, she went about it in the wrong way, but at least she went about it at all.

    Another positive aspect that I see to her wearing the shirt, and then talking about how she loves the women in her life is that women are taught to be catty and tear each other down to get ahead. we are taught to hate other women, I for one think its time for some girl love to be shown in mainstream media and society. with that said I don’t believe that was the message she was trying to get across.

  30. I kind of feel like I’m the only one that has no problem with what she’s done. I don’t think she was assuming an identity that wasn’t hers, all I saw was her showing support for the LGBTQ community.

    I also don’t think she did it in a wrong way. Someone said earlier, that she was letting everyone think she was a lesbian for a day. She’s on tour, I highly doubt she sits in front of the computer all day, to comment on things people say about her.

    I love Dianna even more after this. I think it’s completely ridiculous that she’s getting so much flak for this. Women, are always taught to compete with other women so I feel that her shirt can be interpreted in other ways, instead of just “Lesbian”.

    • It was less all day than it was all night after the tour. In that time she presumably wrote a 3,300 word essay so I’m thinking she actually does have the time. Especially since all she had to do was tweet, “I’m not a lesbian”.

      You have to take the shirt in the context of the show, which it seems like a lot of people aren’t doing. And within that context, especially next to Chris Colfer’s “Likes Boys” shirt which does specifically refer to the fact that his character is gay, I can’t see why people are being faulted for having thought she was coming out. Especially when that was part of her point – she wanted people to think that and to show that she did not care that they did.

      It’s a good and bad thing – it’s amazing that she did not care what her straight audience would think and a bit unfair that she didn’t care what her young lesbian audience would think. That said, that she did it at all is pretty awesome given that she owes us nothing and I’m mostly in favor. I certainly don’t hate her for it or think less of her. But I’m also all in favor of criticism all the time, so.

  31. To quote the power lesbians on sex and the city, ““Sweetheart, that’s all very nice. But if you’re not going to eat pussy, you’re not a dyke”. That basically sums up my feelings on her decision to wear the shirt.

  32. I’m just a little bit annoyed that she gets my hopes up and then denies it. I mean, after the hair cut I was hoping she would come out of the closet. But since she wouldn’t date me anyway, I guess I will just go on with my life even if she’s straight 😀

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