Boobs, they’re on your tubes! This week, Nel recapped a beautiful and emotional episode of Pose (aren’t they all). Natalie recapped the midseason finale of Good Trouble, feat. Rhea Butcher behaving badly. Meg Jones Wall. brought you the news that there’s an upcoming queer lady relationship on Bachelor in Paradise. Valerie gave you a peek at the bisexual superhero lighting up Amazon’s The Boys. And Drew shared why she loves and hates Euphoria.
Notes from the TV Team:
+ grown-ish wrapped up its second season this week without a major storyline for Nomi but she seemed intent on putting the mess with Professor Hewson Shane behind her. She spends the episode waiting for a call about an internship at the ACLU but, instead, gets a call from the Cal U Independent Ethics Committee who is investigating allegations of inappropriate conduct against Shane. — Natalie
+ No Lori or Carly on this week’s episode of Ambitions, but next week’s episode looks explosive and I fear that Carly’s mother, Stephanie, might just get her wish. — Natalie
Claws 309: “Melba Toast”
Written by Natalie
Because reality has become too hard for Ann Zayas to bear, this week’s episode of Claws starts in a dream world: she’s in a park with her future daughter flying a rainbow kite that escapes in the Florida breeze. The girl rushes to her mother, who urges her daughter to cry if she needs to, but Arlene steps in and reminds them that losing something you love doesn’t mean that you’ve lost everything.
Later, Ann wakes up and overhears Virginia and Jennifer trying to talk Desna out of murdering Melba as Benedict ordered. Still believing that Mac killed Arlene, Ann’s ready to avenge her wife’s death by killing his. Desna nixes that idea right away and pledges to handle Melba on her own. But when the opportunity arises for Desna to pull the trigger, she can’t do it, so she’s forced to enlist her crew for help…and, of course, Ann insists on being a part of the scheme. When Melba refuses to go along willingly, Ann coldcocks her — to which Jen says, “you’re gonna be a great mom” — and the crew drags her into the van.
They take Melba back to the salon until they can figure out what to do. Ann’s ready to take her out for all the havoc she’s wreaked in their lives but Melba buys herself some time by telling Ann the truth: Benedict killed Arlene. The admission creates a schism between Desna and her crew but they’re still left with a decision about getting rid of Melba. After Dean intercedes, they opt to stage Melba’s death instead of killing her, only to watch her get run-over by a truck like she’s a British lesbian or something.
Later, Desna turns on the radio and Ann’s song is playing. She imagines herself dancing with Arlene who urges her wife to build another kite. Ann doesn’t want to but Arlene insists that she must, just give it time. They share a kiss and Arlene disappears again. Heartbroken, Ann grabs her bat and heads for the salon’s exit. When Desna calls out, Ann echoes Arlene’s words — “I’m gonna need some time,” she says — and leaves Desna standing alone.
Ackley Bridge 308
Written by Natalie
The odds were always against Nasreen Paracha: the lesbian daughter of Pakastani immigrants, raised by a single mother among the working poor in Yorkshire, England…the chances of her making it out of Ackley Bridge and to the ivoriest of ivory towers, Oxford University, were so infinitesimal, that only Nas could imagine it. And then, just as the dream comes into focus — not just for Nas, but for everyone in Ackley Bridge — she and her best friend, Missy, are hit by a car. Though Nas survives the accident, part of her dies along with Missy, including the part of her that believes that she deserves to go to Oxford.
For the last few weeks, the people around Nas have been trying to revive that part of her and, for a while, it seemed to be working. But when her Biology exam doesn’t go as hoped, Nas throws in the towel: giving up on her dream once and for all and opting to move to Manchester with Naveed and Sam to work instead. Her mother responds to the new plan in classic Kaneez fashion: though she’s initially reluctant, she travels to Manchester with the new flatmates — during Pride, no less — and ends up willing to accept whatever makes Nas happy.
But Nas can barely keep up the facade. Even if she can’t say it aloud, Nas is scared of dreaming of a better life for herself, lest that dream be shattered too. Kaneez sees who her daughter is, what she’s capable of and what she’s too afraid to want, and decides to want it enough for the both of them. The next morning, she drives to Oxford to win her daughter her spot back.
“I know she still want all this. It’s all she ever wanted and she deserve it because of everything she been through,” Kaneez tearfully confesses to the admissions officer. “I can’t make you see that, I can’t make you feel the pain and the loss. But she deserve to be here more than anyone.”
Miraculously, it works: she wins Nas’ spot back. When she returns home, Nas is reluctant to say yes — she’s promised Naveed she’d go to Manchester, after all — but her mother begs her to put herself first. Nas agrees and is forced to disappoint Naveed and Sam with her change of plans. We don’t get to hear what she tells Sam, only witness the shift from hope to heartbreak as “Both Sides, Now” plays in the background. Before she leaves Ackley Bridge, she says a final goodbye to her best friend.
“We can go now, Missy, just like you said. Same time. Same place. Same day,” Nas shouts to the heavens as she scatters her best friend’s remains.
BH90210 101: “The Reunion”
Written by Carmen
I’ve never seen the original Beverly Hills 90210. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a lover of all things gaudy teen soap opera! It’s just that when the show premiered in 1990, I was only four years old. At least I know who Shannen Doherty is, and Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling. Still, I’m probably the worst choice to recap this show.
But last night I was restless and thought that some iconic ‘90s nostalgia might help, so I clicked on BH90210, and y’all I have never been happier with a decision. It’s soapy and ridiculous and perfect for August. The entire reboot is a show within a show! The basis is that the cast is cast joining back together to relaunch 90210 in real time; everyone is playing heightened versions of… themselves. Much like real life, Tori Spelling has a reality show that went bankrupt, no one remembers who Jenny Garth is, dramatic horror music plays whenever Shannen Doherty enters the scene, etc etc.
Gabrielle Carteris (AKA Andrea Zuckerman) is now the head of a fake topsy turvy world SAG-AFTRA (real life Gabrielle Carteris is the real life head of real life SAG-AFTRA, the screen actors guild). She’s in a marriage to a man that we don’t get to learn a lot about yet, but she seems very focused on her career and maybe a little unsatisfied in her personal life. At a 90210 fan convention, she meets this hot queer fan and bartender with a small septum piercing who is played by none other than ALI LIEBERT AKA BETTY MCRAE FROM BOMB GIRLS AKA THE LOVE OF MY YOUNG LIFE. Ali showed up and immediately I sat forward in my chair – if she’s in the scene, something gay is definitely afoot.
Hot Ali Liebert makes Gabrielle a drink at her bar. She tells her that Andrea Zuckerman was more than just her favorite character on the show – she was her gay root. The Suze Orman blazer, the pantsuits, how could a girl resist? Then, after flirting back and forth for a while, she asks Gabrielle if they could fulfill a teenage fantasy of hers.
That’s when they kiss!
I promise you, I couldn’t make this up, in the greatest 90s callback of all time, just as the kiss gets going – Ace of Base’s “I Saw The Sign” starts ramping up overhead! Gabrielle walks away so stunned and overcome that she literally trips over a ball stool. It’s sweet and dorky and perfect. We still rarely get to see a woman in her 40s or 50s navigate their sexuality or coming out stories. I’m ready for this ride.