Boobs On Your Tube: Betty’s Queers Keep Talking About Talking Without Actually Talking (GAY!)

Hello, friends! You made it to Friday, and congratulations! If you missed any LGBTQ+ TV this week, we’ve got you covered. Valerie Anne recapped one of the wackiest episodes of Legends of Tomorrow (which, as you know, is saying something). Kayla made a spot-on list of what every The L Word: Generation Q character would sing on karaoke night. Heather wrote about Amity and Luz’s lil smoochy smooch on The Owl House. Natalie talked to Good Trouble EP Joanna Johnson about what’s coming for Alice this season, and also she recapped the first episode of 3B. Carmen reviewed the kickass Gunpowder Milkshake. Riese made a highly researched list of 22 movies that were de-gayed by Hollywood. And Kayla reviewed the second installment of Fear Street.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Check out the trailer for Reservation Dogs, the new FX on Hulu comedy featuring queer actress, Devery Jacobs. Between this and Rutherford Falls, Indigenous representation is (finally) having a moment and I’m here for it. — Natalie

+ The casts of my Freeform Faves are coming together, as grown-ish battles Good Trouble this Sunday on Celebrity Family Feud. — Natalie

+ Jess is still kidnapped on In the Dark and Murphy’s latest attempt to rescue her failed. But it looks like next week will be dedicated to getting her back so hopefully it works. — Valerie Anne


The Chi 407: “Black Messiah”

Written by Natalie

Trig and Imani show off their dance moves, this week on "The Chi."

Nina is, officially, a grandmother. Kiesha has reclaimed her son from his would-be adoptive mother — a piece of drama the show glosses over for inexplicable reasons — and he’s settling in nicely in his new home. Nina’s understandably worried, though: she’s worried about Kiesha’s future and about what’ll happen when her son starts to resemble his father. It’s a painful question to ask — Kiesha immediately pushes back on it — but it needed to be asked…and Kiesha’s lack of a real answer shows that her transition to motherhood won’t be an easy one.

Nina moves around the house gingerly, still carrying her guilt over having cheated on Dre. She recoils when Dre tries to touch her and snaps at Kevin about his music. Only Emmett — Jada’s son, Kiesha’s friend and experienced fuckboy — recognizes that Nina’s trying to forget something: he’s been there. He encourages Nina to come clean and she does: admitting to Jada that she cheated when she thought Dre was cheating on her. Jada echoes her son’s advice and tries to reassure Nina that Dre won’t run away from their marriage. Hoping that’s true, Nina tearfully confesses to her wife that she was with someone else.

Meanwhile, Trig lives up to his word to Imani to move, together, with a singular purpose and gets the trap house shut down. But while Trig and Imani free the women from sex trafficking, they don’t come to the house with an idea about how to support them. They do what they can — Imani gives the girls clothes from her closet, Trig brings over food — but the reality is, the women need more help than they can provide. But Trig and Imani do manage to secure the house for the girls to live in and pledge to make it a sanctuary for women escaping the life. And while I’m grateful that these women get a new start, I can’t help but wonder: with Trig and Imani both having run afoul of Shaad and Nuck this season, how much longer before their lives are threatened?


All American 317: “Int’l Players Anthem (I Choose You)”

Written by Natalie

Coop listens as Preach tries to explain why he can't accompany her to Vegas for her tour, this week on "All American."

With just one more episode to go in All American‘s third season, “Int’l Players Anthem” — named after the UGK classic — spends a lot of time setting the stage for the season finale…and, honestly, it’s got me a little scared for our girl, Coop.

Things don’t look dire to start the episode, though: Coop finds out that she’s passed her GED test and is now free to spend all day focusing on her music. She celebrates the news with Patience and Spencer — aww, the band’s back together! — when Preach interrupts with news about Coop’s new merch. During their impromptu meeting, Preach lets Coop know that he can’t accompany her to Vegas for the tour. Coop isn’t happy about the news; she is his only client, after all. He assures her that he’s created a seamless process and that anyone can man the booth in his absence. He recommends Andre — a suggestion from Mo — accompany Coop so she’ll be working with a familiar face. Coop’s not satisfied with that, though: she wants to work with her team.

Later, Coop and Spencer meet up to recount everything that happened at Jordan and Simone’s rehearsal dinner, including Spencer’s confrontation with his principal/mom’s boyfriend. Coop encourages Spencer to allow for the possibility that the principal may changed, just like she had to learn to do with Mo. A text from Layla interrupts their conversation and Coop announces that Layla can accompany her to Vegas after all. While she’s happy to have some of her team around her, Coop’s still miffed about Preach’s absence. Spencer assures her that Coop’s clearly important to Preach and explains why Preach can’t go to Vegas.

The next day, Coop confronts Preach about the fact that he has a daughter with Mo…a daughter that he didn’t bother to tell her about. Coop understands why he couldn’t go to Vegas — “Family Over Everything” is their whole brand — but she doesn’t understand why he couldn’t tell her. Preach doesn’t take long to make it right: he apologizes and admits that he’s just struggling to adapt to his new family. He invites his daughter, Amina, over and introduces her to her Auntie Coop.

Meanwhile, Mo’s across the park, texting Andre with an ominous message: “You got the Vegas job with Coop. You know what to do.” Coop, you in danger, girl.


The Republic of Sarah 105: “The Criminals it Deserves”

Written by Natalie

AJ gets a workout at the gym with Corrine while contemplating her relationship with Alexis, this week on "The Republic of Sarah."

Last we checked into the the happenings in Greylock, Corrine was confronting AJ about her affair with the former mayor’s wife and this week picks up with the pair fighting…or sparring. It’s just fun between friends, though, as Corrine teases AJ about Alexis as soon as she gets up off the canvas. AJ’s still surprised that Corrine figured out their secret but Corrine recognized the look that AJ shot at Alexis. She promises to keep AJ and Alexis out of the Greylock rumor mill and asks how things are going between the couple. AJ assures her that they’re keeping things casual but Corrine’s convinced there’s no such thing.

“Maybe not to you, Little Miss Child Bride, but most of us still use it for recreation, not procreation,” AJ snarks back. But, if AJ’s only using sex for recreation, Corrine wonders aloud, can’t she get that from someone who’s not married? AJ reminds her that she promised she wouldn’t judge but Corrine assures her that she just doesn’t want to see AJ get her hurt. But while AJ assures Corrine that she has a cynic’s heart, when she sits down with Alexis — wine and cheese after a midday romp while Alexis’ husband is away for work — it’s clear that she wants something more.

The next day, after yoga, Corrine introduces AJ to her friend, Sally. The two share a common affinity for golf and make plans to grab a round together when the weather’s nice again. It’s a clear set-up by Corrine and AJ isn’t pleased: she’s already in a relationship, she insists. But Corrine points out that AJ’s not in a relationship, she’s having an affair…so maybe it’d be good to go on a date with a normal, single woman. AJ rolls her eyes but later, when she’s with Alexis, she glances at Alexis’ family pictures and has second thoughts. AJ puts a break on their intimacy, opting instead to Netflix and chill (she doesn’t mean it as a euphemism). Later, she calls Sally and sets up that date.

The date goes fine but it doesn’t excite AJ in the way her relationship with Alexis does. She confesses that she’s more into Alexis than she wanted to admit but Corrine reminds her that Alexis is married. No matter how many butterflies they give you, Corrine explains, you can’t pine over a person who’s already taken. AJ is underdettered. She rushes over to Alexis’ house and sets up a romantic evening for them — rose petals on the bed, candles lighting up the room — but then she notices something in the trash: a pregnancy test.

A pregnancy test that’s positive.

A pregnancy test that’s positive with Alexis’ name on the receipt.


Betty 205: “Good Luck With That”

Written by Drew

Victoria talks to Honeybear and Ash who are next to each other on a yellow couch

Sometimes I think queer people like to talk about clear communication more than we like to communicate clearly. That’s certainly my takeaway from this Halloween-set Betty with even more chaos than usual.

We begin with Kirt and Shelby waking up in the magical Skate Church. Light streams in through the window, people skate around them. It’s beautiful and idyllic and then Kirt ruins it by being a fucking weirdo. She gets distant and pushes Shelby away and Shelby leaves.

Meanwhile, Victoria is leading a talk between Honeybear and Ash where she uses a whole lot of queer communication buzz words without ever registering that maybe she is the problem. Honeybear implies as much but mostly in snark and avoidance rather than saying “Hey Ash I don’t think I want this third person in our relationship.” Despite Victoria’s insistence that she just wants to help and that she’s her own primary partner, it’s feeling more like Honeybear is the one on the outs.

Turns out Kirt got weird because of how much she likes Shelby. We learn this because she practices a love confession in the mirror not because she actually shared or even implied this information to Shelby herself. Seems like she’s going to but it might be too late!

Also too late? Anything that could save Ash and Honeybear. At The Factory’s big Halloween party Honeybear makes out with some dude in front of Ash. Again, not the most direct form of communication. But, hey, at least this time the intention is clear.


Motherland: Fort Salem 204: “Not Our Daughters”

Written by Valerie Anne

motherland fort salem

I look forward to these three taking the whole thing down from the inside.

This week was recruitment week on Motherland: Fort Salem. It was creepy and weird and there was a protest. On one hand, the witches truly believe that this witch-only organization is the best way to hone your powers and find people just like you, which is true. But on the other hand, protesters think that General Alder is a warmonger who is putting their daughters in danger. Which is also true! And of course, there are plenty of people who are on a literal witch hunt, with awful signs like “the only good witch is a dead witch.” And stuck in the middle of it all are Tally, who is getting closer to a dark truth about Alder, Raelle, who is feeling a bit used for her unique abilities, and Abigael, who is a target for the bad guys and also being pressured to have babies already.

And while all this is going on, Anacostia and Scylla are both sort of working for the Spree while also trying to figure out what the Camarilla are up to by being undercover at the protest. Scylla sees Raelle get bonked and lingers just a little too long to keep an eye on her, long enough for Raelle to catch a glimpse of her before disappearing into the crowd.

When the girls get together to support a shook Abigael (who M rescued like a motherfuckin’ badass) and I think they’re finally ready to be a bit of a rebel splinter group and maybe they’ll shut it all down from the inside and make a regular school for witches that isn’t part of the military industrial complex.


iCarly 107: “iNeed Space”

Written by Valerie Anne

icarly melody from hey dude

My body reacted before my brain even fully put together who she was. It was wild.

This week’s iCarly has a very special guest who maybe is only very special to me because she was absolutely one of my roots but it’s MELODY FROM HEY DUDE!! I felt vindicated in my excitement when Harper almost immediately flirts with her, even though she was there as Spencer’s date. Also it turns out Melody was a villain, leading a “women’s work space” that was actually pretty culty called Leap In. (Harper calls it a “fun cult, like an expensive exercise bike” which was a very fun poke at Peloton.) But I won’t lie, it was very fun to hear one of my childhood crushes call someone a “little bitch.” Also when Spencer went to Leap In she made him wear a hard hat with an alarm that yelled CAUTION, MAN! when he got within 6 feet of a member and I appreciated that.

Another guest this week was Skye Townsend from A Black Lady Sketch Show which is another crush of mine, albeit a more recent one. Her part was small but enjoyable because she is enjoyable. PS. Go watch A Black Lady Sketch Show.

One cute bit in this episode is when Spencer calls Carly “Nancy Drew” as an insult and Carly says, “Nancy Drew could easily do the work of two Hardy Boys so thank you for the compliment” and then later, despite not being privy to that convo, Harper calls Carly Nancy Drew as a compliment.

Overall I’m still loving this show. It has all the charm of the original series with slightly more grown-up themes but still the same amount of wholesome joy that I really need right now.

The Autostraddle TV Team is made up of Riese Bernard, Carmen Phillips, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Valerie Anne, Natalie, Drew Gregory, and Heather Hogan. Follow them on Twitter!

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5 Comments

  1. I feel that everything that Alder does is to increase her power. She may have the best intentions for protecting witches, but at the end of the day it’s all about her. I also think that this is all going to come crashing down on her. The vice president clearly saw her puppet the president, which will drive him into the arms of the Camarilla. And Alder blamed the Spree for the bombing, so when she desperately needs their help, they’ll tell her, “No.” This is all aside from what Tally is finding out.

    • I think you’re so spot-on about Alder! While her desire to protect her fellow witches does seem sincere, she clearly cannot abide anyone anywhere having more power than her (or power over which she has no control). Whether that means stealing the power for herself outright or otherwise suppressing it (I get the feeling she’s behind the whole canon/non-canon magic categorization, too), she’s clearly power-hungry, even if she doesn’t realize it consciously.

      My guess, though, is that it’s not the vice president we have to worry about getting cozy with the Camarilla, but the president herself. Even though the VP may find what Alder did horrifying, now that he knows his daughter’s a witch, I doubt that he’d align himself with a faction that would gladly torture and burn her at the stake.

      The president, on the other hand, appears to have no such personal connection to witches (unless I’m forgetting something?) and has been puppeted TWICE now by Alder. At this point, she can’t trust that Alder won’t just puppet her any time that they disagree on something. I’d wager that the Camarilla experienced a large influx of cash immediately following the first puppeting, which could explain why they all of a sudden seem so bold and well-funded.

      Blaming the Spree is going to throw a real wrench in any plans to collaborate, that’s for sure! All because Alder (and Petra, I guess) didn’t want to look weak. Instead of lying, she could’ve simply announced that the Camarilla have returned and that’s why they want to expand testing — to find young witches before those genocidal, torture-loving Camarilla maniacs do — which probably would’ve mollified some of these concerned parents and negated the “need” to puppet the president in order to expand the program.

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