#AutoAri: These Real World Questions Are Emotionally Unstable Right Now

This week on The Real World: Ex-PlosionAri made you all fall deeply, deeply in love with her. I think something is in the water. I like it.

This week’s episode was an emotional whirlwind when Jay’s mother passed, ruining any shot – one would think – at drama. But Ashley was still around, so ya know. Phone numbers get maliciously torn up by an anonymous villain. With Jenny and Cory no longer doing it monogamously without ever really talking about it but still imposing fidelity on one another, Ari is inspired to break out of her post-Jay’s-news-sadness with some classic good vibrations.

reall needs to be

one on one time w me

my favorite rubber toy

Tom interrupts, but has no f*cking clue. He talks about quesadillas.

...but she can eat quesadillas

…but she can eat quesadillas

Then, the crew goes out and gets down at Ashley’s bar, where she threateningly informs them that there will be no bill and then drinks the entire bar’s worth of liquor, including an entire bottle of champagne. When she gets home she throws her purse and the next morning she loses it, goes through the emotional where-are-my-keys-I-lost-my-phone grief cycle, yada yada yada.

emotionally unstable

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ari is getting ready to steam things up with Ashley – her ex – and the rest of the crew gets ready to get trashed. Ashley stays the night.

definitely butterflies

The next day, Hurricane Ashley – the roommate – doesn’t come home. And when she gives her roommates a shot at inviting her back…

i like instantly know my answer

Here’s the questions you had for Ari One-on-One Fitz this week.

This Week’s #AutoAri Q&A

On Ashley


Yes, we knew before the show aired but after she had left the house.

Watching her do that put a really bad taste in my mouth. I think everyone thought it was her, honestly. It’s just the way she did it and her general disrespect for Jay’s situation pushed me over the edge. I was happy to see her leave.

trapped animal

I did, I gave her one word… “Relax”.

No, but according to the Aftershow… she doesn’t have a drinking problem. Or does she? ;)

Best. Thing. Ever (read: sarcasm).

flips a plant

On The Not-So-Real World

I’m making a ton of film work and booking modeling gigs. (See: my work and my werk .) #allworkallplay

Aww bae, thank you. I mean it was FUNNY. Sometimes that was all I could do.

laughing at ashley

Most definitely Tom. I knew he was the guy put in the house to annoy the hell outta me, but we ended up getting close and I swear he is so incredibly genuine. Watching Tom on TV is knowing Tom IRL.

Well… long. I’m a filmmaker and I wanted to be clear that I can make some raw shiz. Don’t stress out about it, bae. Just show you being you. People lose when they go over the top with that stuff.

So remember that corny moment when I scream into the pillow, “we are the same exact person.” Outside of how “wtf” that was, I meant it. I grew up in a single parent household and I was the “rock,” the stability, the person that held my family together. Jay is the same person in his family and that’s crazy to me given our differences.

When he lost his mom, I knew he’d feel so much guilt. He was the one holding down his family and the moment he leaves – for the first time in his life! – she passes. I just understood how that guilt would feel and it struck me.

Negative, but I’m attracted to Jenny and Jamie’s personalities.

Just one good part!? Oh man. Okay… number one is being able to take this opportunity and pimp it out for everything it’s worth. I’ve already met awesome people in the entertainment industry that are going to help me reach that crazy goal of mine: becoming a horror film director and media muthaf*ckin’ mogul.

Yes, but ideally just us. It’s obvious I can handle the crazy with the seven of us, not sure I can handle the exes too. But we’ll just have to see.

Going from filming the show to regular life just makes me want to hustle even harder. Right now, I’m booking gigs, setting meetings, filming, writing… I’m always *on* all the time and it’s because people are watching me now. The second film is going very very well. Hopefully will be in a place to show this to you guys soon.

Ha, nope! My Ashley didn’t know and if she did she would’ve told me. We don’t hide secrets like that from each other.

i hella miss you

Slightly. I have HELLA cousins now…

But for the most part my life is back to normal outside of people noticing me or my hair around San Francisco and wanting IG photos.

Not really. I was upfront about my identity and who I was from day one, so I think everyone loved that I was 100. I rarely go to straight clubs or the types of clubs my roommates like, so doing that every night was tough. But then Jenny would start to do her aerobics dance thing and suddenly all would be good in the world.

That said, I had to educate them about different things… what I mean when I say “androgynous”, why it’s offensive to use certain terms, etc. Cool thing was they appreciated it.

I think these days people are afraid to appear ignorant. My roommates included, almost to the point of walking on eggshells just to make sure they didn’t offend me.

On Ari, Ari, Ari!

Three lines below my collarbone, boo. Yes. Thinking about a few more on the back of my arms.

Let’s make it happen! Come celebrate my bday with me in Feb. I’ll post on Twitter about it soon.

Or nah…

Man. I’m still figuring that out. I need to link up with some hair YouTubers to fix the regimen. Right now I just use Seed by Akimi for dry colored hair and do conditioner washes, for moisture I literally use olive oil. The fro needs more TLC.

No! *deep sigh* hopefully this year during my little fall Europe romp.

Hehe, thanks bae!! What can I say, style is my heart. I work very closely with my stylist (@Kholi) and her company (@khafra_co) to look good for yall. Make sure to check them out: http://khafra.co/.

Outside of that, I use to do a lot of thrifting in SF and I love exchange stores like Buffalo Exchange, Crossroads. For new items, I keep it real H&M Men & Women.


Ya know, I love being behind the camera when it comes to horror. That said, I’m doing a lot more modeling and acting so I wouldn’t be surprised if I found myself in a scary movie… it has to be GOOD though. Plus, I get scared easily (I know, I know… the irony).

Ha! Well, MTV is a huge platform so I knew I’d make a few fans. I’m just JUICED that so many people are into my films. Like that makes going through armageddon that is living in that house worth it!

On Lurve

Great question. Like perfect question.

Ash and I got together and things got too perfect too fast. We moved in with each other, spent our evenings at home, talked about marriage, kids, etc… BUTTTT I’m 24 and I see myself taking over the entertainment world one film, one project at a time. I see myself traveling the world, taking a ton of risks, etc etc.

At one point, I realized it was close to impossible to live that life and make decisions (like randomly moving to Berlin!) without including Ashley in it and making plans for her, too. That got stressful and I needed to be able to make big moves on my own.

That said, Ash is one of the most loving, compassionate people I’ve ever met and I wish I didn’t make that decision without really talking with her about it first.

Ha, did it steal yours? I kid, I kid. I mean I love to cook for a girl and surprise her when it’s genuinely good.


Haha, now you and I know we gotta watch to figure that out.

On Rubber F*cking Toys

Lmao! I just had to. I was stressed, I was horny and I was alone. Hell, the one time I tried to bring someone back, I ended up falling to the floor… with Cory.

So… yeah, I needed some “me time.”

not having sex is going to kill me

Ha, nah bruh. At that point, I just gave up. Tom stay blockin!

Please ask him that. Cuz, I’m still trying to figure it out. Like what happened to the phrase, “You busy?”

Our Winner

Every week, Ari will pick her fave question out of the bunch and we will reward them with lavish prizes. This week’s winner, @TheMentalist__, is gettin’ a love letter of sorts from Ari herself.

Get Into It!

Each week, you can tune in to new episodes of The Real World and tweet your questions for Ari Fitz, raging queer, using the hashtag #AutoAri. ( We can only guarantee that tweets sent during the initial screenings of each episode will be included (10PM EST/PST and 9PM CST) in each week’s roundup.) Whether you’re curious about her films, what she’s eating in the fifth scene, the music that hot tub montage was set to, or how she gets her hair to look damn good, feel free to dig in and pop a question. Within 48 hours of the episode, Ari will answer every single one here on Autostraddle. In the meantime, you can follow Ari and Autostraddle on Twitter. (And me!)


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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


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