NY Mag’s Queer Poly Lady Sex Diarist Has A Lot Of Actual Sex, Goes There

Yes fine homosexuals of Sodom, it’s me again here to inform you that New York Magazine‘s sex diaries feature a lady-loving lady this week: The Queer Woman Who Sneaks Into the Fitting Room With Her Partner! This particular woman has actual sex. Like a lot of actual sex. New York Magazine only had to go all the way to San Francisco to find her, but they did.

For example:

 I love looking up at T’s breasts from between her legs; they frame her face so nicely. I love how she starts to shake as she comes in my mouth. “I shouldn’t give you my tongue so quickly. It turns you into a puddle,” I tell her. Of course, I don’t really mean this — the part about keeping my tongue from her. My tongue is directly connected to my ego, and my ego likes the feel of come dripping on it.

The diary comes complete with butch bra shopping, Daddy play, shaving, near-fisting and bossy bottoms. Commenters are confused about whether or not fisting actually feels good and are actively debating the merits of removing or not removing one’s pubic hair as if nobody’s ever conversed on the topic before.

To be honest, sometimes witnessing these intimacies dissected by commenters on the website — the sex diaries commenters are a prolific gang of regulars — feels strange, like we’re giving them our secrets. Due to the horrible representations of “lesbian sex” in straight porn, there’s a lot of misconceptions about what lesbians actually do in bed, and for some reason that often makes our sex feel more special. But here we are on the internet, with 98% of somebody’s fist all up inside us! Ta-da.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3177 articles for us.


  1. I agree. I think in some possibly juvenile way the fact that lesbian sex has this big question around it, the fact that its representation is so often misrepresentation, does make it (whatever it is) more ours, or mine.

  2. The aspects of this diary that are like from my life contrast sharply with the aspects that are not at all alike…

    Particularly the kinky part (but different kinks), the part where one person lives a hour and a half away from the city (but I’m the one who lives away from SF), and the having sex with different women part. (That part’s pretty cool.)

    Basically what I’m trying to say is I felt this piece like it was inside of me.

  3. i think this comment about measuring fisting in percentages should win an award or at least a shout-out:

    @TheNext_MrsBass – once you’re past the knuckles it’s all fairly academic

  4. Really good diary (makes a nice change), but some of the comments made me want to scream a little.

    • Agreed. I now want to say this as immediately after sex as if I just performed a magic trick.

  5. I read the article, the first paragraph was ok but that’s anyone’s basic fantasy the rest made me sick…Who the heck wants to call their partner “Daddy” during sex *SERIOUSLY EW* T__T

  6. “Why do most butch women always seem to leave their underwear on in bed, even when they know they’re likely coming off?”

    UNKNOWN. I also do this. Why do we do this?

    • I just like to take them off when/if I want to, I think? I do this too. Also sometimes it seems a little forward to take everything off, and I dislike clothes, so keeping on the undies is a compromise.

  7. Wait, doesn’t everyone have dressing room sex? And bathroom sex for that matter? That’s the benefit of being two girls…no one questions why you went into the same room together. It’s part of the turn on. I had this conversation at a party last weekend. Some girls need to get to know someone really well before having sex since they want more than a fling. Others are fine with the fling…no last names necessary. It surprised me how many really young girls opted for the relationship and us older gals were fine with instant gratification. Let’s see if I can study further at pride this weekend…

Comments are closed.