Feeling made invisible by your own partner’s choices to not come out as both queer and polyamorous is tough. This edition of #PolyamoryProblems dives into how to deal with a partner who is living in a double closet.
The idea of breaking up, and/or transitioning your relationship to platonic as somehow a failure or throwing something away is one of those pesky ideas we need to unlearn.
Special? Of course she was special. She was their partner, their most precious relationship, their lover of nearly ten years, their most trusted confidant. She smelled like a combination of lavender and musk, with this particular tenderness that still made Bennett’s knees weak and that growl start to build deep in their body.
Bennett raised their eyebrows, trying not to blush. They wanted it, they really, really wanted it. They’d made themself a promise because they didn’t want to get involved with someone who wasn’t right. But this was different.
Boundaries are our manifestations of how we deserve to be treated and what we will accept from others.
Welcome to the first installment of #PolyamoryProblems, a new advice column on Autostraddle. There are countless things I wish I had known before I started out, and lucky for you I’m here to tell you the things that will hopefully make your transition into polyamorous relationships much smoother.
Life moves fast. Time is a warp. It’s possible that you missed some of these tension-filled erotic S L I C K moments. Join A+ so you can read the slow, tight tension — right before the frenzy — that I love to revisit.
Bennett could barely feel the flogger’s tails on their back. It was all muffled, hitting the energetic wall that felt like concrete, not actually feeling it make contact with their skin. By the time Reina fell into a pattern, Bennett was starting to soften. The dense thud was working the concrete into clay, clay into sand, and Bennett was starting to feel again.
We released a list of books to read at the end of March for those interested in getting started with polyamory and non-monogamy. These resources go beyond books to blogs, podcasts, movies… so here are eight podcast episodes to get you started on polyamory and non-monogamy during this lockdown!
Paige slowly took Bennett’s fingers back out of her mouth, but didn’t let go of them. “What about … “ She brought their hand down between her legs, under her slip, where she parted her thighs and led Bennett to touch her there.
Search polyamory and you’ll see the term partnered with words like “sexual revolution” and “on the rise” in several news pieces on the subject. Surely, there’s more to non-monogamy than sex, or the rebellion of joining a fad? What could it take to make being open/ polyamorous/ non-monogamous work? Eleven books and the internet’s idea of a “sexual revolution” bookshelf later, I present to you a list of some major titles relevant to queer women.
Which one do you want to be your girlfriend: mini moon, thicc moon, or mommi earth?
“Right off the top, it’s crucial for me to say this: being monogamous and being bisexual are not mutually exclusive. This is a really problematic stereotype that has to go, like yesterday.”
A how-to guide to your first polyamorous adventure, from someone who made all the mistakes so you don’t have to.
The first statement of the Relationship Anarchy Manifesto is that “Love is abundant,” so why don’t we start there? Love is abundant. What kind of love do you want to create in your life?
8 great queer women-focused poly SF/F books coming right up!
Always a side piece and never a main piece? We’ve got you covered.
“When her body shook I was filled with a fullness that almost made me cry. For me, in that moment, Dan wasn’t even in the room.”
“If y’all are close friends, you might want to make this sacrifice/compromise to preserve the friendship. Generally speaking, friends are more important than lovers, depending on how close of a friend they are.”
“Polyamory and queerness are pretty much inseparable for me in practice.”
Everyone gets jealous. It’s how you handle it that counts.