AUTOSTRADDLE ANONYMOUS SEX TOY REVIEW #49:
It’s our 49th Autostraddle Anonymous Sex Toy Review! Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have propositioned us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys.
This week, one of our anonymous reviewers tried out the Plunge V-Neck Crotchless Bodystocking from Lovehoney.
- Material: 100% nylon (hand wash only)
- Color: black
- Size: one size fits UK dress sizes 6–14
- Price: $20
If I had either wanted or expected this bodystocking to be a if not classy at least long-lived addition to my wardrobe I think I would have been really disappointed. Instead, it proved to be neither of those things and I unexpectedly loved it.
Straight out of the box, I was not impressed. The stocking felt cheap to the touch and started to run even though I was really careful about putting it on. Though the sizing was allegedly one size fits all, as a shortish smallish person I found the stocking to be too small — it seemed to assume my torso would be vastly shorter than it actually is and that my legs would be longer and that my boobs would be spaced differently, somehow? Or maybe be smaller or bigger? The fit was not ideal for my body and taste. I also generally prefer a tighter weave of fishnet and for seams to not run, crookedly, right down my abdomen.
In defense of its physical construction, it was very easy to tug the crotchless part of the bodystocking into place, and though I was annoyed that the neckline kept slipping down my activity partner found this to be a plus.
Other unexpected benefits: the bodystocking kept me warmer than just being naked even though I was pretty much naked, which is nice as someone who always feels freezing. Also, despite how easy it was to rip, it held together fairly well even after partial destruction (allowing for subsequent destruction) and dried really quickly after being hand-washed.
Sometimes I review things I would have tried on my own and this is not one of those times. I put it on, got a run, swore, and set out to seduce my activity partner, which wasn’t difficult (see above re: being pretty much naked). Wearing the stocking felt about equal parts sexy and ridiculous, and I think it was this combo that let me discover my favorite thing about it, namely how much fun it is (was) to rip. My activity partner and I are into rough, aggressive sex, and we often talk a big game about tearing clothes off each other but when it comes down to it clothes are pretty expensive and personally I only own like three sweaters so normally we do less tearing and more hasty removing and in my case folding. The body stocking — already with a huge run up the back of my leg — was the perfect chance for her to actually destroy something during sex without consequence.
This bodystocking feels like the rubber ducky vibe of lingerie — it feels kind of silly and isn’t something I’d plan to keep around for a while but it’s also a lot of fun.