Forget the Economy. It’s the Gay Sex, Stupid!

GLAMBERT: adam-whatAccording to allegedly “reasonable” conservative Peggy Noonan at The Wall Street Journal, the problem with America isn’t really the economy or unemployment or our National conviction that the world will spiral into apocalyptic destruction in the year 2012.

Nope; it’s what Peggy dubs The Adam Lambert Problem. You know, a fervent belief in fabulousness and a love for glitter, glam rock and onstage beejers? Secondarily, it’s that the moral degradation of New York City is bleeding into the masses, giving them Swine Flu and Sexytime:

America is good at making practical compromises, and one of the compromises we’ve made in the area of arts and entertainment is captured in the words “We don’t care what you do in New York.” That was said to me years ago by a social conservative who was explaining that he and his friends don’t wish to impose their cultural sensibilities on a city that is uninterested in them, and that the city, in turn, shouldn’t impose its cultural sensibilities on them. He was speaking metaphorically; “New York” meant “wherever the cultural left happily lives.”

She goes on to explain that we have accepted graphically violent, highly sexualized material in our homes on cable but that we do not expect such things on “big broadcast networks” because “they are free … we watch them with our children. The whole family’s watching. Higher, stricter standards must maintain.” And because the AMAs were on during prime time (it wasn’t by the time he went on stage, PEGGY!) and a broadcast network, Adam Lambert “breached the contract.

Mr. Lambert’s act left viewers feeling not just offended but assaulted. Again, “we don’t care what you do in New York,” but don’t include us in it, don’t bring it into our homes. Our children are here.

After brushing off Lambert’s defense of a double standard, she goes on to use his surprise S&M circus to ask, have we become a more vulgar country? Are we coarser than, say, 50 years ago? Do we talk more about sensitivity and treat others less sensitively? Do you think standards of public behavior are rising or falling?”

Are we coarser than, say, 50 years ago? 50 years ago black people weren’t allowed to vote. So I’d say no. You could go ahead and read the comments on The Wall Street Journal. Or you could just read the comments on ONTD, ’cause they’re better.

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RIP: Speaking of what’s wrong with America, Peggy Noonan, FDNY officials are investigating a December 9th incident when two EMTs buying breakfast at a Brooklyn Au Bon Pain 600 feet from FDNY headquarters refused service to a pregnant woman suffering a seizure because they were on break. The woman, 25-year-old Eutisha Revee Rennix, suffered cardiac arrest and died shortly after. (@bossip)

SAME-SEX-WEDDING: Congratulations to Good As You blogger Jeremy Hooper and his husband, Andrew Shulman, who are the first same-sex couple featured in Martha Stewart Weddings! (@mediaite)

wedding-picture

FEMINISM: According to Camilla Long, feminism went away in the 00s. The constant battles about what society deemed a woman “should” be doing “has left a generation of girls feeling puzzled and scared. They don’t know whether to be fat or thin, drunk or sober, clever or stupid.” Naturally she’s wrong in that feminism didn’t just go away, but sadly she’s also not far off when it comes to describing the “I’m not a feminist, but” brigade, who often want to reap the benefits of feminism without labeling themselves as such for fear of being stereotyped as a humorless, hairy bitch. [On a related note, maybe it’s because men still control female depictions of sexuality.] (@jezebel)

COLLEGE KIDS: Quadruplets accepted to Yale! I like “the artist” best b/c of her eye makeup:

ASK PRO FOXY: Ask Professor Foxy: A poly, queer, trans 17-year-old asks “the girl I’m interested in is a couple weeks shy of 15. She’s definitely a much more mature and self-actualized person than her age would suggest, but the fact remains that there’s a huge difference in our life experience … I’m so afraid that if we were to be together, I would somehow break consent, pressure her, or in some way hurt her because of the hierarchy that comes from our age and experience difference. And even more pressing, is she old enough to consent?” (@feministing)

PERSON OF THE YEAR: Time Magazine hasn’t given the “Person of the Year” title to a woman since 1986, so Salon took it into their own hands to nominate some women deserving the honour! In 1999, Time magazine changed its “Man of the Year” title to “Person of the Year,” but the linguistic switch had no apparent effect on the magazine’s long and rarely interrupted stretch of honoring male persons at year’s end. (@salon)

COMING OUT: International rugby star, Gareth Thomas, has announced that he is gay. Yay! We need more athletes to come out. The 35-year old who retired from internationals after the 2007 World Cup, but still plays for Welsh provincial side Cardiff Blues, also says he doesn’t want to be known as “a gay rugby player.”

B-ROLL: We got that B-Roll!


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Riese

Marie Lyn Bernard, aka Riese, is an award-winning writer, blogger, journalist, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in the midwest, lost her mind in New York City and is currently making it work in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better, The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image and The Hazards of Being Female," "Dirty Girls," and "The Best American Erotica of 2007," magazines including Nylon, Marie Claire, GO, Curve, Interlude, and CollegeBound, and all over the web including nerve.com, Jezebel, Queerty, Emily Books and OurChart (RIP). She was the recapper for The L Word Online and host of Showtime’s Lezberado and her personal blog has earned many dubious honors including Best Personal Blog 2008. Riese has spoken about blogging, community-building, feminism, cyberculture and sexuality at places like BlogHer, Yale, New York University, The University of Chicago and The Museum of Sex. A graduate of the University of Michigan, Interlochen Arts Academy and The Olive Garden's week-long training intensive; she enjoys eating foods, having big ideas, reading books & talking to her stuffed dog, Tinkerbell. Also, she's Jewish. Follow her smokin’ hot adventures on twitter. Contact: riese[at]autostraddle.com

Riese has written 2896 articles for us.

18 Comments

  1. I think that the subtle sexual messages and misogyny lurking behind advertisements for shoes and bad sitcoms about 2.5 men are far more damaging to children than any blatant display of sexuality. At least Adam was in context. When I have kids I’m gonna be way more nervous about what messages about consumerism, sexual availability and passivity they’re unknowingly absorbing from women’s magazines and how airbrushed thighs might make them hate their own bodies than I ever will be about sexually explicit musical performances on TV after 11pm.
    .
    Also I didn’t think anyone ever watched the American Music Awards until this year, why is everyone acting like this is the Super Bowl and all Americans were required to watch it

  2. I was going to be all angry at that idiot Peggy Noonan until I realized, nothing is as galvanizing as being unfairly attacked. Adam Lambert has almost 250,000 rabidly, obsessively dedicated fans who follow him on Twitter and will support him through thick and thin, and crap like this just keeps all of us fired up. I think the AMA performance was a GREAT thing that happened (well, he didn’t sing as well as he normally does, but that aside, loved the rest of it…)

    It’s about time a gay performer was allowed to be out and to be a hot, sexual person as opposed to campy/funny or asexual (or in the closet until years and years into his career, like George Michael or Rob Halford. He’s a pioneer. (Great Time essay about this, in the issue where they named him one of the people that mattered in 2009.)

    And speaking of Rob Halford (lead singer in Judas Priest for the non-metalheads out there), I was a rock journalist in the late 80s/early 90s; just about everyone in the music industry knew Halford was gay — and nobody wrote about it, because he was a really nice guy and nobody wanted to wreck his career, which is what would have happened if he had come out. And THOSE are, I suppose the good old days that Noonan refers to. How psychotic is that?

  3. man, i am having trouble keeping up with all of feminism’s deaths. could somebody start a blog or something so that I can follow? because i’m pretty sure feminism has died at least 4 times now since I became a feminist. earlier today i let a dude hold a door open for me, and then i answered to “sir,” and then i dissed sex and the city, so that might be time #5. maybe somebody should write that down.

    • “man, i am having trouble keeping up with all of feminism’s deaths. could somebody start a blog or something so that I can follow? because i’m pretty sure feminism has died at least 4 times now since I became a feminist.”

      *comment love*

  4. Listen this stupid fucking bitch think that she has it right, gay men are the reason that the worlds fucked up? no homophobes like this stupid bitch are discrimination he is one of the people that will be himself for ever and guess GAY PEOPLE ROCK so shut the fuck up

  5. Mexico City legalizes same-sex marriage….and is such a MACHO catholic country!!!!
    Get it NOONAN?
    You are so damned yesterday news!!!

    BTW: “The Adam Lambert Problem” meaning “The Gay Problem” and sounding like “The Jewish Problem” (Adolf Hitler)

  6. Does Peggy even have any kids? Kids are so cool. They get over everything and move on…why can’t Peggy? She is an old fart who thinks because she worked for Regan and Bush-war-monger #2 that what she says matters.

    It’s so telling that she used the name “Adam Lambert” in her column because she isn’t very relevant anymore and knows he draws on the net! Very transparent–she’s doing the Adam train like every one else so, she will get her boring column read. LOL-LOL.

    I cannot stand to listen to her on PBS–I actually have to change the channel when she is on there. Her hubris makes me what to scream.

  7. I can’t belive those EMT guys are still on PAID restrictive duty. That’s bullshit. If ever their were a reason to be fired, and possibly serve jail time, it’s this. I would like to believe that most human beings aren’t like this but I have become disillusioned with humanity as of late.

  8. “i dun wunt mah baybeez 2 see dem homosissycles on da televishun”
    PFFFTTT. That’s hilaricles!

    I’m using my half gf as a pillow right now. She needs to wake up so I can order pizza, holy shizz.

    Really EMTs? Holy shit, if you are that careless why take that job in the first place? That’s ridiculously sickening. Ans they’re on paid but restricted duty? Fuck the what? Now they’re getting paid to rest on their asses some more. I’m ruthless, I’d give them both life.

    Those quadruplets are so cool. Especially artsy chick.

    And the half gf is snoring. Will someone tell her there are plenty other things to do in my bed other than snoring?

  9. I’m really happy (and somewhat scared) for Gareth Thomas. I couldn’t imagine coming out while still playing. It took guts to do so and I hope his teammates and the teams he encounters on the field treat him with respect.

    Can you imagine if an NFL player came out? Noonan would have a coronary then.

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