Our lesbian stereotypes survey had, of course, a question about haircuts, as many queers, regardless of gender presentation, have very passionate feelings about their hair. We’ll be getting into the stats on that later this week or next, but I was so inspired by how you described your present, current, and/or future haircuts in the comments section that I couldn’t wait one moment longer to share that with y’all. Also please note that a full article on what I have learned is called “the bisexual bob” is in the works.
Find below, ripped mercilessly out of context for your enjoyment, just some of the many ways you described the hair that flows from your scalp into the sweet light of day.
1. “A compromise between Natalie Dormer and the comic book Captain Marvel”
2. Unironic rainbow mullet mohawk situation
3. Usher-style Mohawk situation
4. “I’d like to speak to the manager”
5. Edgy 12-year-old boy
6. Kinda British boarding school dude
7. “I guess I’m a lhb [Long Hair Butch] but my hair went white and now everyone treats me like a granny or Walt Whitman”
8. The good old Hillary Clinton frumpy crop
9. “The more like Steve Harrington, the better.”
10. “Occasionally I wake up looking like a teen heartthrob on the cover of Tiger Beat circa 1997 — like a Home Improvement-era Jonathan Taylor Thomas”
11. Scully bob
12. Sexy Willie Nelson
13. Merida curls that have always been chin length or longer
14. Dramatic witch mane
15. “Dude medium length (wavy, like a lot of NHL players or Jack Savoretti or Kit Harrington)”
16. “I made my partner cut my hair like my favorite anime character’s. The short blunt bangs are very trendy, no one needs to know my inspiration was a fictional 17 year old boy.”
17. PTA suburban mom boss bitch
18. Short Jean Seburgesque pixie
19. The young-lesbian lob
20. Mid-30s queer crisis undercut/sidecut
21. The Big Gay Chop
22. The Bisexual Bob
23. “Like a rainbow had shat on my head, with an undercut and an emo fringe”
24. Like a Hanson brother
25. The Bieber
26. “That really cool high school English teacher who makes, like, three students realize they’re gay.”
27. Twig from “The Edge Chronicles”
28. Hugh Grant in “Notting Hill”
29. Merida from “Brave”
30. Johnny Depp in “Willy Wonka”
31. Heath Ledger in “10 Things I Hate About You”
32. Leonardo DiCaprio in “Titanic”
33. 90’s lesbian Leonardo DiCaprio
34. “I love my long-ass hair, it is my source of Samson-like strength”
35. Big, bushy Hermione hair
36. “It fluctuates between a sort of “captain america/JFK” masculine cut, an undercut, and shaved.”
37. Taylor Swift asymmetrical angled lob
38. 2001 Teen Boy Love Interest
39. Weird soccer-mom short back, long front thing
40. Accidental Bieber swishy style
41. “I cut my hair into a Jenny Schecter-style pixie in college to seem gayer. Instead it just made a weirder type of guy hit on me.”
42. Han Solo
43. Mall goth dude
44. Humphrey Bogart
45. Jon Snow
46. Carly Usdin, all my life
47. Ashlyn Harris
49. Annie Lennox
50. “v specifically cultivated floop w chelsea-ish side parts i can push back or let flow to subtly shift gender vibes”
51. Lesbian Macklemore
52. Faye British school boy
53. Young French boy
54. That fuckboi fade
55. “I like the feral look. The more twigs and mud the better. The look that says I’m too busy clambering through the wilderness to give a damn, but hey i’m working it.”
56. Sweet mullet
57. Flowing mane of a mullet
58. Very 80s new wave mullet situation
59. “a curly mullet I can downplay for work and up-play for other times”
60. Dragon Ball Z villain
61. “Sometimes I look like Draco Malfoy? I am very gentle, though.”
62. ’70s goddess
63. From Amélie to Bellatrix Lestrange
64. “All I know is that Amy Adams’ greasy alcoholic depression hair in Sharp Objects makes me swoon.”
66. “Dark, dense, kinky… kinda like my soul.”
67. Short, very gay Miley short-sides long-on-top hair
68. “Every year or so I think about growing it out in hopes of looking like a sexy viking, but instead I just end up looking like a straight person and it’s terrible.”
69. “Like my dad did his wedding pictures in 1963”
70. “Like that of a male movie star from the 1920s”
71. “My mom says my hair is “neat and flippy,” my brother says my hair is “cool and artsy,” and my boss says my hair is “hip,” which just means none of them know the word queer.”
72. Endless goddesslike sunset colored ombre hair
73. Long metal hair, henna red
74. On my way to having a Hannah Hart look
75. Hannah Hart but NOT CUTE
76. “I dream of going gray so I’ll look like Anderson Cooper.”
77. Harry Styles’ circa 2015 before it got too long
78. Long and awesome (think Harry Styles c. 2015)
79. “My hair is the lovechild of Cameron Esposito’s and Rhea Butcher’s hair. Also still really torn up about that relationship change. LOVE IS A LIE.”
80. “High femme, vintage maven, full set and brush out, curls and hairspray for days.”
82. Tegan Quin during the Hearthrob era
83. “Late 90s soccer player/ Robin Wright vibe”
84. Like a lion’s mane
85. “It’s bright silver i’m just trying to be Lesbian Dante out here”
86. “I got a Rachel Maddow haircut well before I had any idea I was queer. My hair has always been precocious.”
Dramatic witch mane wasn’t my descriptor but it is now.
me and my dramatic witch mane are feeling very Seen right now
No.48….are we talking Cooper or in Wonderland?
Maybe Cooper in Wonderland
Pieszecki would be my guess….
Go ask Alice, I think she’ll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen’s off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head
#64, i am taking that as a compliment to me personally and i thank you for it
I feel you #68
this is perfect
Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men
Can we maybe change 30 into something that doesn’t make me think of not so nice things in the middle of reading this otherwise delightful list?
merida 4 fuckboi fade
I feel you, 68. I’ve now got what might generously be called a Softball Ponytail, and even with an undercut it looks SO HET. (Promised my sister I’d leave it til NYE, but after that, I’m really hoping there’s a New Year New You hair special? Maybe? Y’all?)
Ok, I need to know more about this bi bob situation, so I’m glad the AS is on it.
I mean, I am bi and I often wear a bob (rn it’s too short to count but I’m planning to let it grow to chin length for the winter). But I didn’t know that it’s a thing.
Interestingly enough, I started growing out my pixie style to bob length around the time I was realizing I wanted to be more openly bi.
I thought I grew it out because I could no longer handle needing a haircut every 6 to 8 weeks. But maybe I subconsciously knew about the bi bob?
Not sure it’s the same thing but it sounds like what we call over here the HR manager.
I actually couldn’t find a nice picture of a lob to show my friend what I wanted and I just googled bisexual haircut for laughs. It lives somewhere between a bob and a lob and it was everything I wanted to go on in my head.
What is a lob?
a “long bob”. the length varies between just above the shoulders to grazing the collarbones.
Oof 47, Ashlyn Harris is very hot and her haircut is a big part of that hotness. May you also have the Ali Krieger & cutely oversized dog equivalent of your dreams!
I’m probably still rocking the nineties but I think mine’s still best described as the “well sucked mango pip”.
“Sometimes I look like Draco Malfoy? I am very gentle, though.” HEY, CALL ME.
I feel like mine is background extra in Hackers meets background extra in an early Janelle Monae video?
I have a horrible memory, so I can’t remember if I actually wrote 68 or if someone else just shares my soul, but I am currently in the growing-it-out phase and it is just shy of being long enough to do all the cool viking braids and I am dyingggg waiting for it. And every day I’m like “ughhhh why did I shave my head???” and then I remember it’s because I wanted to look Gay. But soon I’ll look like the pansexual valkyrie of my dreams, soon!
Can’t remember what I said on the survey, but I have a bi bob with an undercut in the back. I wear it up in a top knot 98% of the time. Right now it’s a little long so I need to get it trimmed. Fun fact: I got my first bob at 15 when I and my hair were straight… and then I came out, shaved my head, grew it out, and it’s been curly ever since.
#55, can we be bog witches together please
but what is the story of the header photo? where did it come from? what did you search to find it?
A friend once requested from the barber to look like “a sexy boyscout” and that really stuck with me
Someday I will ask my stylist for the sexy boyscout
But usually I just say short and clean
short n clean, me after a shower :-D
I don’t remember what I wrote, but I’m mentally high fiving the person who wrote Scully bob (a v. specific form of the bisexual bob?). bc I had that for YEARS until somewhat recently. maybe I’m high fiving myself but that’s cool.
Thanks for sharing the amazing methods.