25 Ways To Get Broccoli All Up In Your Business

Hello and welcome to this new thing we’re trying out where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and next week we’ll check in and talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we ate peas.

food list rachel hansen crop

I have a confession: I am a really lazy cook. Most dinners I make are simple and easy productions, and thus, broccoli is my best friend. Broccoli gets a bad rep from picky, whiny kids heard ’round the world (like peas, right?!), but it’s one of the easiest veggies to cook.

Broccoli is low-maintenance, high-nutrient and relatively easy to keep fresh for awhile in your fridge. You just chop it up, toss it in some water to boil and it’s ready in less than five minutes. In fact, that’s exactly what I made for a side in last night’s dinner, then spent ten minutes convincing my niece broccoli and cauliflower were edible flowers so she’d try them.

But broccoli is super versatile! It is especially great for saucy dishes because it soaks it right up and holds flavor amazingly. Hell, you can even make broccoli desserts. Who knew?

Here are some recipes for broccoli on those nights you want somethin’ a lil’ fancier than boiled broc.

Appetizers, snacks & sides

1. Broccoli Guacamole

I kind of want to make this just as an excuse to say “broc guac” over and over and over until I have no friends left.

 2. Broccoli Sweet Potato Cakes

 3. Beer Battered Broccoli

Why? Because fuck broccoli always being healthy, that’s why.

 4. Pesto Broccoli

 5. Sriracha Broccoli

 6. Cauliflower and Broccoli Tapas


7. Copycat of Panera Bread’s Broccoli Cheese Soup

Real talk: Panera’s Broccoli Cheese Soup rivals my mother’s. Shhh.

 8. Roasted Broccoli Grilled Cheese

 9. Green Mac and Cheese

 10. Squash and Broccoli Rabe Lasagna

 11. Broccoli and Cheese Mini Egg Omelets

These are super easy to make ahead and then heat up for your breakfasts on the go!

 12. Cheesy Broccoli and Red Pepper Quiche with Potato Crust

 13. Creamy Broccoli White Bean Soup

 14. Broccoli and Cheese Stuffed Chicken

 15. Creamy Chicken, Quinoa and Broccoli Casserole

 16. Broccoli Curry Udon

 17. Broccoli, Apple and Almond Salad

 18. Raw Broccoli Raisin Salad

 19. Broccoli Stuffed Shells

 20. Beef with Broccoli Stir Fry

 21. Broccoli Cheddar Beer Soup

image via efoods.com

recipe via Autostraddle / image via efoods.com


22. Broccoli Brownies

23. Chocolate, Black Bean, Broccoli and Basil Smoothie

 24. Sweet Broccoli Cake with Pumpkin Frosting

25. Broccoli Sorbet

I, like this photo, am also preeeeeetty skeptical, but why not?

Share your favorite broccoli tales/recipes with us!

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Hansen is the former DIY & Food Editor of Autostraddle.com and likes to spend most days making and cooking and writing. She teaches creative writing at Colorado State University and is pursuing a Masters of Fine Arts in her free time.

Hansen has written 189 articles for us.


  1. This dessert section is everything I never knew I wanted. Especially the smoothie. I am so down.

  2. Broccoli is the bomb. Those whiny kids don’t know what they’re missing.

    Also, broccoli in hash browns is delicious.

  3. Broccoli level: college. Eat it frozen straight out of the bag.

    ….not that I’ve done this. Or been seen doing this by my roommates…

  4. Broccoli is the best! I was one of those weird kids who would request broccoli for dinner. My mom would steam it, and then sauté it with some garlic and olive oil. So delicious.

    I could never get into raw broccoli, though. There are some raw veggies that I love, but I like my broccoli cooked.


  5. broccoli is such simple perfection. just so good.

    unsolicited public service announcement: please eat your broccoli stems, people! they contain so many nutrients and they taste great. they can be a little tough and fibrous if you get the really large stalks, but peel the outside with a veggie peeler (or even just trim them a little if you are feeling lazy) and voila. they taste really great raw (much better than the florets i think) or you can steam/puree them into the creamiest broccoli soup you have ever had. i personally buy fresh broccoli and see it as two veggies in one: i use the florets first in a stir fry or something of that nature and then reserve the stems for soup the next day. plus usually you pay by the pound for fresh broccoli so wasting the stems is huge waste of money.

    sorry for the excessive info on my personal broccoli habits, but i just really need you guys to know that broccoli stems are wonderful.

    • Can i second that, i started peeling and eating the main stem after i saw it on an episode of good eats (he compared it to artichoke heart) and i wen’t home for christmas and i saw my Mom and here boyfriend throw like 4 big ones away…. my mom may have been a bit surprised by my wide-eyed shock.

  6. The broccoli cheese beer soup is incredible! I made that recipe a few months ago.

  7. Broccoli and chicken casserole is my ultimate comfort food. I’m definitely trying it with quinoa instead of rice next time.

  8. Beer battered broccoli??? bye, I have to go make that and put it in my mouth right now.

  9. Roasted broccoli grilled cheese sandwiches! How did I live without these in my life??

  10. Broccoli Brownies?! Really?

    I’ll settle for some Broccoli and Blue Cheese Soup it’s the best – & it’s heading into Winter here in New Zealand, I might just have to try some Broccoli Cheddar Beer soup as well.

  11. Broccoli dessert? I can eat broccoli in all my meals all the time?! Oh hell yes. I’m going to be looking like she-hulk by the end of the week with all this green deliciousness

  12. This is such a horrible article to be reading at work when I’ve missed lunch, am starving, have a huge crush on broccoli and cannot have anything I am seeing! :(

    However, on a plus side I see broccoli grilled cheese being in my mouth in about an hour! And, almost, everything else will be made in the next week or so! :)

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