2016 Election Day Liveblog and Open Thread: Oh God It’s Really Happening

feature image via shutterstock

Sometimes, it felt like this day would never come. Like we were stuck in a Groundhog Year of our own pernicious making, doomed to watch the same several intensely voice-acted ad spots without end. But the US’s election day has arrived. Many people have already voted through early or absentee voting; many more will vote today. If you are a registered US voter and have not voted yet, please do so! It’s easy to find out your polling location and what’s on your ballot! If you’re confused about what you need to bring to your polling place or are feeling hung up by other logistics of voting, let us know in the comments and hopefully we can try to help each other out!

Once you’ve voted, head back here and hang out with us! We’ll be here all day posting updates and pulling commentary and analysis for you from different sources, as well as commiserating in the comments. Once results start coming in, we’ll be here to talk through that too. It’s been a long election season and all of us are worn pretty thin; let’s be here for each other today (and for the next four years). Let us know how voting went for you! Tell us about what local races and candidates are on your mind! Readers from outside the United States, you’re welcome here too!

If you’re tweeting about the election today, use the hashtag #ASelection and we’ll grab some of your best tweets and add them to our liveblog! 


8:45 a.m. EST Good morning, my dear friends! This is Heather and I’m taking on the first shift of today’s election liveblog. Stacy and I got up early and voted this morning and I was surprised by how emotional I got. Not quite as emotional as the time I was standing in line to meet JK Rowling, but close. Today was my first time voting in New York. I’ve always voted in my home state of Georgia (a shocking toss-up this year?!) and NYC voting is so different in so many cool ways. Ballots and signage in a five different languages, disability access for voters, no one standing in line talking about how whatever Democratic candidate is in league with literal satan. I read this really optimistic article on The Nation last night that you might like. Also don’t forget that most major US newspapers are dropping their paywall today.

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9:00 a.m. EST Tim Kaine’s voting day tweet is the most Tim Kaine tweet of all time. Minerva Turpin!

10:00 a.m. EST There’s an hour-long wait at Susan B. Anthony’s grave this morning. Facebook is livestreaming folks stopping by to pay their respects.

10:30 a.m. If you’re looking for some furry adorableness to get you through the day, @darth is retweeting photos of pets wearing their owners I VOTED stickers.

If you’re looking for some hope and optimism and you just want to cry some more, President Obama’s speech at Hillary’s New Hampshire really last night ought to do the trick.

11:30 a.m. EST: Besides staying tuned to this liveblog all day long, you can watch the election results on virtually all the devices you own.

11:34 a.m. EST: Lol This was satisfying to watch.

11:52 a.m. EST: Yo voter intimidation is illegal. Here are some examples of voter intimidation: “aggressively questioning a voter about his or her citizenship, criminal record or other qualifications to vote”; “shouting and abusive language”; “If a voter is being followed and photographed or has his license plate numbers recorded”; “baseless or discriminatory challenges to one’s eligibility to vote and the brandishing of weapons in front of a voter.” Here’s the Washington Post with how you can report voter intimidation:

Voters can call the Justice Department Voting Rights Hotline at 800-253-3931; TTY line at 877-267-8971 or email the Justice Department Civil Rights Division at voting.section@usdoj.gov

Voters also can call the Election Protection hotline led by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law (866-OUR-VOTE), the hotline led by the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials Education Fund (888-Ve-Y-Vota), or the hotline led by APIAVote and Asian Americans Advancing Justice (888-API-VOTE). The Arab American Institute Yalla Vote Hotline is 844-418-1682. In addition, voters can report intimidation to county poll workers, the county clerk, elections officials, local and state officials, or the state board of elections.

12:33 pm EST: Hi everyone, it’s me, Rachel! I just got home from running some errands and voting this morning and I’ll be liveblogging for a while. I just almost cried while wearing my voting sticker inside a Walgreens when I realized they didn’t have Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask in stock, so that’s where I’m at, emotionally and spiritually. How are you holding up?

12:45 pm EST: Thank you to commenter @rachmelia below for sharing some more voter support information below specific to disabled voters! I’m going to reshare it up here so it’s easier for people to find!

* The National Federation of the Blind is running a voter hotline until 10:00 PM for blind voters encountering difficulties with non-visual election technology. It can be reached at 877-632-1940.
* There’s also a state specific directory of protection and advocacy hotlines for any voters with a disability encountering issues at polling places. http://www.advocacymonitor.com/directory-of-protection-and-advocacy-voter-assistance-hotlines-2016/

1 pm EST: Personally, I’m still feeling very anxious and probably will all day, but everything I’ve seen so far has been good where I live (in Milwaukee; Wisconsin is predicted to go Hillary). There were no lines and things seemed to go smoothly at my polling place (although Wisconsin does have a voter ID law and there is a lot of concern about voter disenfranchisement in my state). Earlier I was out (see above, crying at Walgreens) and saw this building decked OUT for Hillary and Russ Feingold, our Dem Senate candidate. I’m not sure what the building is — I looked it up later on Google Maps and it seems like an empty property for lease —  but I’m into it.

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1:15 pm EST: One of the first news developments of the day: we’re seeing reports that Trump’s camp is filing a lawsuit against Clark County, Nevada, alleging that the county kept polls open late. Again, it’s extremely early in the day to draw any conclusions, but pre-emptive defensiveness suggests Trump does not feel great about his chances. Interestingly, Dems are already suing Trump for attempted voter intimidation in Nevada. As FiveThirtyEight points out, “voters are allowed to cast ballots past the official poll closing time, as long as they were in line before the end of official voting hours.”

1: 30 pm EST: Amidst the atmosphere of optimism I think many of us are trying to cultivate, there are a lot of anecdotal reports of voting problems, especially with voters of color being presented with more obstacles, asked for ID more often, and waiting longer than white voters. We’ll likely see more of those throughout the day, and we’re seeing numbers and news reports, too. New York and the tri-state area is experiencing long wait times and lots of problems “from long lines in Brooklyn to broken machines in New Jersey to late openings in the Bronx and hours-long waits across the city.” NBC, which has been reporting on voting problems since early voting began, says that GOP efforts to block Black voters through limited early voting seem to have succeeded: “African-American turnout in the Tar Heel state through Saturday declined this year compared to 2012 by 8.7 percent, or around 66,000 votes — going from just under 754,000 votes to just over 688,000.”

1:55 pm EST: We still have a few hours to go before we begin getting even preliminary poll results (and, as FiveThirtyEight points out, “We won’t know who is going to win until the votes are actually counted. Don’t believe in reports you read online that supposedly give you a keen insight of who is going to win. No one knows.”) so let’s do a mini link roundup in the meantime! Here’s an Al Jazeera roundup of how some people globally are reacting to the US election; here are some openly LGBTQ candidates people can vote for downballot this election; here’s a piece about the death penalty ballot question in CA and NV.

If you’re looking for more resources on voter support and making sure people can access/stay at the polls, here’s Remezcla on how to use Uber or Lyft to get a free ride to vote and here’s Pizza to the Polls, a site where you can donate to send pizza delivery to people who are waiting in line for hours to vote and may be tired and hungry (or report a long voting line that could use sustenance).

Also, courtesy of Yvonne, here is a tweet featuring a mariachi band serenading voters.

2:25 pm EST: How’s everyone feeling? Are you nervous? Excited? Frustrated? What are you doing to cope? Personally, I’ve been marathoning Bob Ross (beauty is everywhere!!!) since I started working on this post. It’s a small thing, but it helps. As results start coming in, I might need to make a move for the big guns: that’s right, Slow TV. Feel free to join me.
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2:45 pm EST: Today, we are all Josh’s pug.

3:00 pm EST: So, a bit more about the lawsuit Trump has filed in Nevada! Things are moving too fast for me to feel confident sharing lots of real analysis, but here are a few things: Although voting law says that anyone in line to vote when the polls close is allowed to vote, it seems the lawsuit is alleging that NV’s Clark County let people in line after the polls had already closed. It’s not clear that there’s any evidence that this occurred, unsurprisingly. Sahil Kapur suspects that this is part of Trump trying to reverse his loss before he’s even lost and contest the election results. (Americans who lived through the 2000 election may be shuddering at this idea, deservedly.)

It’s not farfetched; in radio interviews, Trump has still been saying he may not accept the results if he doesn’t win. (Although he also said earlier that if he lost, he would peace out from the public eye. Which is it, Donald???) ThinkProgress thinks the lawsuit isn’t worth worrying about because of the “likely event that Trump does not have any evidence that state law was violated here.”

The hearing on the lawsuit is happening essentially right now; I haven’t been able to watch it live, but the general consensus seems to be that the judge is not particularly impressed with this lawsuit, or the attendant request to make the names of the implicated Nevada poll workers public. This is a good little exchange to watch:

In other news related to the larger theme of Trump family members not understanding and/or not facing consequences under the law, Eric Trump took a photo of his filled-in ballot in New York, where it is a misdemeanor if someone “shows his ballot after it is prepared for voting, to any person so as to reveal the contents.” He has since deleted the tweet. Womp womp.

3:08 pm EST: I don’t know, I got a laugh out of it.

3:20 pm EST: Hi, it’s Yvonne again! How’s everyone doing? I’m ok, I’ve now moved to a coffee shop with a friend who needs to study for her organic chemistry exams and I’m like it seems like a great idea to change scenery because it’s gonna be a long night. Anyways, how about these pantsuits!

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3:32 pm EST: A Nevada judge denies the Trump camp’s request.

3:46 pm EST: Two women wearing hijabs were singled out while waiting in line to vote in Michigan in an act of voter intimidation. A man in East Lansing, Michigan tried to keep the women from voting by asking them for their voter information and trying to direct them to a different polling location.

3:47 pm EST: ::sob emoji:: ::praise hands emoji::

4:00 pm EST: You can read more about the Nevada judge denying Trump’s camp complaint that polling locations in Clark County stayed open two hours after it closed to accommodate voters. Politico reports: “Clark County Judge Gloria J. Sturman said at a hearing today that the campaign failed to take up its problems with county officials before coming to court.”

“There’s been a failure to exhaust administrative remedies,” [Sturman] said at the hearing, which was broadcast over the internet. “I am reluctant to impose any obligation by court order on our registrar of voters, who is a very busy man and does an excellent job for all of us.”

4:07 pm EST: Y’all, I just realized that the U.S. spans what seems like infinite time zones. I mean just look at this graphic. Here’s what our timeline looks for the evening.

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4:12 pm EST: It might be too late for this but it’s worth mentioning to y’all because I care about you! Babeland is giving away free sex toys to the first 100 customers who say the word “vote.” They’re also doing offering it online too!

4:30 pm EST: Staff writer Kayla is the real winner today.

[instagram url=”https://www.instagram.com/p/BMj9uLdjAMx/”]

4:39 pm EST: There’s been several reports of voting problems around the country. In North Carolina, about six precincts in Durham County experienced software malfunctions used to verify voter registration. The malfunctions forced polls to switch to paper rolls, causing one precinct to run out of forms and halting voting for at least two hours. These problems could hurt Hillary Clinton since 40 percent of Durham County voters are black. Across North Carolina reports of missing registrations were filed by voters.

In other states: In Utah, voting machine malfunctions forced poll workers to use paper ballots. At one point all the machines in Wilson County, Tenn. were down. In Louisiana, voters were forced to wait outside while new machines were installed.

Journalists are tracking voting problems via Electionland.

4:55 pm EST: Have you heard that state legislative offices are at stake as well? “[Democrats] could flip legislative chambers in Arizona, Colorado, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, Washington and West Virginia.” This could push five states into Democratic control.

5:00 pm EST: Holy shit, you guys! This Florida Trump supporter sprayed mace at a Clinton supporter at a voting location. NY Daily News reports:

Jupiter police were investigating after Donna Tatlici said Tom Garrecht screamed at her that he didn’t need anyone’s help with his vote outside the Jupiter Community Center, WPBF-TV reported. Investigators said the fight happened when he walked outside from voting around 10 a.m. on Tuesday.

Garrecht, 52, faces charges of assault and battery.

5:13 pm EST: LOL Someone hacked Trump’s website and left a poop emoji!

5:23 pm EST: Rachel again! I’ve made some tea and am watching Forensic Files to chill out. Early exit polls will be out soon, but every outlet is frenetically reminding us that we shouldn’t rely on them for accuracy. They’re right, so please don’t let any numbers get you down or prematurely hyped up!

5:30 pm EST: If you’re looking for more live election coverage and cable news is making you feel like you’re biting on tinfoil, Buzzfeed is doing some live coverage in connection with Twitter; you can watch it online here.

5:40 pm EST: There are social media reports that Colorado’s (entire?) voting system was down for “about twenty minutes,” and is now back online.

5:41 pm EST: An update on the Trump website hack.

5:44 pm EST: Early exit poll numbers are out; I’m seeing a few different things floating around and will see what I can grab that seems accurate (to the exit poll numbers themselves; there is no guarantee that the exit poll numbers themselves are accurate to a final result).

5:51 pm EST: I’m still having trouble finding specific numbers to share, but consensus between outlets like Politico and FiveThirtyEight are that both candidates have low approval ratings, but that Trump’s approval rating is lower; and that Obama has fairly high approval ratings, which may bode well for Hillary if voters conflate her with Obama. Carl Bialik at FiveThirtyEight:

Preliminary exit polls show that many voters were motivated by dislike of one of the candidates more than by support for the person they voted for. One in five Clinton voters said they chiefly oppose the other candidate, and 27 percent of Trump supporters said the same; those figures were just 8 percent for Obama voters in 2012 and 10 percent for Romney voters. Asked about Trump’s treatment of women, 70 percent all voters said they were bothered some or a lot; 62 percent said the same about Clinton’s emails while secretary of state.

5:55 pm EST: In personal news, it will be 5 pm in my time zone in 5 minutes, at which point I will fix myself a drink. Thank you for your support during this time.

6 pm EST: We’ve now reached the point in the evening where the first polls are CLOSING, in parts of Indiana and Kentucky (you can follow this here). It is also wine o’clock for me, and maybe for you, who can say.

6:10 pm EST: I’d like to take a moment to do a quick human interest spot with a woman-on-the-street quote from my coworker and close friend Laneia. Laneia is a US citizen in the red but also maybe sort of kind of contested state Arizona, and she also got a root canal earlier today, which was very badass and also I am hoping gave her some kind of flash of insight into our shared future, like how you can see beyond the veil in the moment before your death. Anyway here’s Laneia for you.

On the way to get my special election day root canals (which I was terrified about), Megan came to a stop at a red light, right next to a large truck full of men. Her window was down and so was theirs, so they heard her loud and clear when she opened the sun roof and said to me, “Look at that beautiful sky! That’s the sky on the day we elect our first woman president!” And do you know what those men did? They laughed and smiled. Did they do so in support of Megan’s statement, or were they laughing at her? WHO GIVES A FUCK. Because guess what, she was right about the sky and this day, and even when I’m on my way to get the roots of my teeth drilled out, my misandry remains strong and powerful. Now I’m lying on the couch reading twitter and this live blog and crying and looking forward to the sweet peace of what will surely be a new matriarchal society where everyone gets a kitten and free dental care!

Laneia also wished me to pass along this video of a dog from Lindy West. Enjoy!

cricket update

A video posted by Lindy West (@thelindywest) on

6:20 pm EST: An update with the reported voter problems in several battleground states: Hillary’s campaign has reportedly asked North Carolina to extend voting hours due to their technical issues.

6:34 pm EST: Let’s talk about Florida! It’s been a contested state for months, with wonks talking about how Hillary’s campaign was strategizing around it months in advance and Trump’s wasn’t putting nearly enough effort into it early on, with very few staff there. Now, so far at least, it seems as though the move may be paying off for Clinton; Florida is looking good for her in these very early stages. The state is seeing record voting turnout, and to briefly summarize, we’re seeing increased participation by Latinx voters (who are generally voting against Trump) and are not seeing an increase in numbers of whites who didn’t attend college, Trump’s core base. CBS Miami reports that “Florida has gained 929,327 registered voters since the past presidential election, according to voter registration data released late last month. About 39 percent of that gain came from Hispanics.” FiveThirtyEight reports that “In the preliminary exit polls, 39 percent of voters were people of color. That compares to just 33 percent in 2012.”

6:46 pm EST: Another good indicator! Exit polls also ask about general political issues and legislation, and it appears that most people (again, early exit polls, who knows how accurate they are) are not fans of HB2.

6:52 PM: The newest FiveThirtyEight interpretation of exit poll data shows that 91% of Clinton voters think votes will be counted accurately and the election results will be trustworthy, and 77% of Trump voters do. Granted, that’s not great, but honestly 77% is much higher than I expected and I’m a bit heartened. As we get more accurate data throughout the night, that number may drop, but still!

6:57 pm EST: You’ve seen the headlines about the lines at Susan B. Anthony’s grave; you may also know that many of the early suffragists, including Susan B. Anthony, were racist! Here’s a piece about Black women who also deserve us paying our respects today.

7:00 pm EST: More polls just closed! This time it was polls in much of Florida, Georgia, the rest of Indiana, the western half of Kentucky, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Vermont, amd Virginia.

7:05 pm EST: I’m playing the Buzzfeed coverage in the background on my laptop and this inspiration get-out-the-vote ad spot they’re doing with Ken Bone (that I think might be sponsored by Izod??) is driving me up a wall. Sorry! I just had to put that somewhere! Sorry!

7:06 pm EST: In unsurprising news, it looks like Kentucky and Indiana will go for Trump, giving him 19 electoral votes between the two of them.

7:09 pm EST: It appears we’re calling Vermont for Clinton! Good on you, Vermont. Love your maple candy.

7:28 pm EST: Hi, it’s Yvonne! Oh man, everything has just gone into overdrive now. Like I turned on CBS news to see if that would help me with this liveblog but it was an absolute disaster. It just made my anxiety spike and I hate all the terms they use for Latino voters. Anyways, NYT officially reports that Trump wins Indiana and Kentucky. They’re also saying Virginia and Georgia are too close to call when polls closed half an hour ago.

7:33 pm EST: On twitter, I’m seeing Trump got West Virginia.

7:40 pm EST: North Carolina’s Board of Elections extended voting times in 8 precincts ranging from 20 minutes to 60 minutes.

7:49 pm EST: A man fatally shot one person and three other people in Azusa, California, a suburb of Los Angeles. It temporarily closed two polling locations and locked down two schools. It’s still being investigated.

7:55 pm EST: Hey a good reminder! If you’re still in line when your poll closes at 7 p.m. in your time zone, stay in that line until you vote!

7:56 pm EST: A bunch of polls in several states will be closing soon! Get ready for more results.

8 pm EST:It’s being projected Clinton wins Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, D.C. and Delaware.

8:06 pm EST: Tammy Duckworth wins the Illinois Senate! She’s the second woman to become senator in Illinois.

FILE - In this Aug. 13, 2014, file photo, Illinois Democratic U.S. Senate candidate, Rep. Tammy Duckworth, appears in Springfield, Ill. The Chicago Tribune has endorsed Duckworth D-Ill., for U.S. Senate, saying incumbent Republican Mark Kirk can no longer perform the job after a stroke. (AP Photo/Seth Perlman, File)

(AP Photo/Seth Perlman, File)

8:12 pm EST: Listen to Gina!

8:14 pm EST: Holy shit, I just saw NYT’s election map and I see TEXAS a light shade of blue????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

8:16 pm EST: lol it switched back to red. I REGRET NOT SCREENSHOTING IT WHILE IT WAS BLUE.

8:21 pm EST: Trump wins Tennessee and South Carolina.

8:22 pm EST: My dog feels my anxiety! He keeps pacing up and down and I’m like omg, can you please stop that.

8:23 pm EST: Colorado Dems sought a court order to keep the polls open an extra two hours after a system failure earlier in the day.

8:30 pm EST: A Trump supporter was arrested after trying to vote twice in Texas. He said he was “testing the system.”

8:30 pm EST: I love this! More women of color in office!

8:32 pm EST: YESSSSSSSS

8:35 pm EST: Update on my dog. He’s hate sleeping now. He’s just like fine, whatever don’t pay attention to me. I will forcibly sleep really loudly.

8:38 pm EST: Black Lives Matter Is a Game Changer in These 6 Races

Includes races in Chicago; Cuyahoga County, Ohio; St. Louis; Orange and Osceola counties, Florida; Maricopa County, Arizona; and Henry County, Georgia.

8:51 pm EST: ABC keeps talking about the Latino vote in Florida and how it’s diverse and how it can be a problem for Trump. He’s leading right now in the state with 74% reporting.

8:54 pm EST: Speaking of the Latino vote…

8:57 pm EST: In Dallas county, Hillary wins! She has a small lead in Texas at the moment.

9:00 PM: It’s Rachel again! I’ve been alternately coping with the tight race in Florida and extremely not coping. Hope you’re finding a way to stay calm somehow; it’s a long night ahead of us.

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9:08 PM: Aaaand just as I signed on to liveblog, I heard it reported that Texas has been called for Trump (as well as Nebraska). Goodbye, Light Blue Texas. You were a beautiful dream. Florida is still in play; I’m seeing it at 77% reporting right now, and a 1.6% difference in votes.

9:10 PM: And Illinois has been called for Clinton; not a surprise, but 20 more electoral votes.

9:13 PM: I’d like to acknowledge that Mey has issued a formal callout to this liveblog for not featuring her election tweets and cute outfit, and to be accountable to my own role as liveblogger in this occurrence. I apologize to all those I have hurt with my thoughtless actions; thank you for allowing me this opportunity to begin to make amends. Let us gaze upon Mey’s cute outfit and begin to heal as a community.

9:20 PM: I’d like to update everyone briefly on my personal situation, which is that two of my cats have fallen asleep in strategic positions such that I can’t really get up from my seat. It’s sort of a performance art project about how the electoral college has also trapped me in a poisonous election cycle without a clear way forward. Haha, just a little topical humor! Anyhow, Florida is still leaning Trump with 89% reporting, but did manage to legalize weed, so?? I guess there’s that??

9:28 PM: Still feeling anxious and ill over Florida (reporting at 92%, still for Trump) and Michigan. The Detroit Free Press, a paper I respect highly, is confident that Michigan (16 electoral votes) will go for Hillary; it’s only 11% reporting, though, so we can’t really say. For those following my crisis of pet immobility, I am not at 3 cats, with 100% of the cats in the household reporting, and truly cannot move.

ALSO, speaking of newspapers, I’m now seeing that the hashtag we’ve been using to talk about the election on Auto twitter (#ASelection) was also being used by a newspaper out of South Carolina, the Aiken Standard. Strange bedfellows, truly.

9:38 PM: Hello! I have had a rough ten minutes watching the NYT numbers change, and I expect we all have. I can’t reassure you completely; I can tell you that FiveThirtyEight is putting Clinton’s chances at 73% still, and that we’re still waiting on MI, and that CA and CO have a lot of electoral votes. PA is 20 electoral votes, and we’re waiting to see how MO and NC go. You know, we’re in this together.

9:46 PM: FOX has called New Mexico for Hillary; Virginia and Michigan are still in play.

9:51 PM: Nate Silver himself is weighing in on FiveThirtyEight, which we haven’t seen so far tonight, saying that “Stating the obvious, but it’s very hard for Clinton to win the Electoral College if she loses Michigan along with Ohio, North Carolina and Florida none of which look particularly safe for her right now.”

10:00 PM: Clinton looking projected to win Pennsylvania and Virginia, along with Wisconsin, which she was always expected to take. Michigan and New Hampshire are still in play, but FiveThirtyEight is predicting them for Clinton. North Carolina is leaning Trump with 66% reporting.

10:15 PM: Hey, it’s Yvonne again! I looked away from election news for a little while and then came back and was like WTF IS HAPPENING.

10:25 PM: Misty Snow lost in Utah.

10:27 PM:

10:34 PM: Leslie Herod won the seat for the next State Representative for Colorado’s District 8!

10:36 PM: Here’s what FiveThirtyEight is projecting:

“Right now, Trump leads in both Michigan and Wisconsin. If those leads hold, I don’t really see a path for Clinton to win. If, however, Clinton wins those two states, she’ll be on track to win. If she loses one of them, she still has a path that includes Arizona, where the race is tight. Even if she does win either Michigan or Wisconsin, though, Trump is the favorite.”

10:43 PM: I mean, I want to advocate for deep breaths right now but also like the fear is real.

10:46 PM: Just a reminder that we live in a racist country.

11:07 PM: Another reminder <3

11:15 PM: Some hope for you.

11:18 PM: Dems aren’t doing too hot in the Senate races. They’re trailing in Missouri, Nevada, and NH, and they lost in Idaho. If Republicans win the Senate, which FiveThirtyEight projects they will win, and if Trump becomes president, his role will be more powerful. While if we have Hillary as President and a Republican Senate, it will continue to be deadlocked.

11:25 PM: Eek!

11:28 PM: Hello! Rachel here! I’m not doing great. None of us are. But we’re here, and we’re (virtually) together, which is how we’ve spent our whole lives and will spend the next four years no matter what. I don’t know how much solace that will ultimately end up being, but it’s true: you’re not alone, no matter how you’re feeling, you’re not alone. We’re stronger together and we’re together.

11:34 PM: Florida has officially been called for Trump.

11:40 PM: Some outlets, not all, are now calling Wisconsin (where I live, where I voted, and where at one point predictions were in the 70 or 80% for Clinton) for Trump. At this point, as FiveThirtyEight explains, the most hopeful scenario is an electoral college tie for Clinton.

11:52 PM: FiveThirtyEight is reporting that “the gender gap overall is going to be the widest since 1976,” but that within the gender gap we’re also seeing MORE gaps, of education and race (and the implication, class) — that college-educated white women are trending toward Clinton (51 percent to 45 percent) and non-college-educated white women are trending Trump (62 percent to 34 percent).

12:07 AM: Here we are! Still! I’ve embraced crying and am still here, still typing. I texted my mom and brother as if there were a natural disaster because it feels like that, doesn’t it. They’re both ok inasmuch as anyone is ok. Anyways, here are some numbers; I don’t have substantiation for them right now but they also aren’t shocking:

This points to two things, one of which is more important than the other. One of which is that polling was wrong, which, hey, welcome to the broadcast for those of us playing along from home. More pressingly, in many ways, is the acknowledgment of how pervasive voting for Trump was amongst whites in the US. This wasn’t a generational issue; we’re seeing young and Millennial voters in addition to older ones. This wasn’t a class or “economic anxiety” issue (it was, but it wasn’t); we’re seeing numbers on millionaires and wealthy one percenters voting Trump too. This isn’t a gender issue; many, many white women voted for Trump, even after hearing the pussy-grabbing audio that was imagined to alienate him from all women. This is a white people problem; this is a white supremacy problem. The sooner we own that, fellow white people, the sooner we can do the work to keep people as safe as possible.

12:35 am: Hey, friends, loved ones, this is fucking brutal. I’m thinking of you and we’re all thinking of each other; and it’s nighttime and it’s hard to find a way forward. If you need it this is your permission to tap out, to rest, to do what you need to take care of yourself. You’ve done what’s in your control for today, and tomorrow will begin a new day where it will be required of all of us to do what’s in our control to make things right once again, in a long line of days wherein that is our mission, and you need a good night’s rest for that. If you need someone to be with, it’s ok to stay here; if you need to take time and rest, it’s ok to do that too.

1 am: We haven’t seen concrete updates from institutional polling places in a while — FiveThirtyEight is still calling this as unclear — but it’s also calling a Clinton win “not impossible but extremely difficult.” Wisconsin has been called for Trump. It doesn’t look good, my friends. I will need to sleep soon and so do you (please do! Rest is an essential element of wellness and self-care) but please know that we’ll still be talking about this tomorrow, and we’ll have content up that will both address this and allow you to address this, to talk this through with the gravity and magnitude that it deserves. This is a world and a country that doesn’t love us — us as queer people, as trans people, as queer and trans people of color, as disable people and neurodivergent people and poor people and people otherwise made vulnerable by violent systems of power — but there should be at least one place where you can feel assured that you’re considered valuable and worthy of personhood and love, and we’ll still be doing our best to be that place tomorrow.

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  1. I voted by mail back in September, but that hasn’t stopped me from stressing out over the election and making sure all my friends are voting.

    I wanted to wear a bright yellow shortsuit (like a pantsuit, but with shorts and tights) today, but it turns out my hips have grown too much since I purchased the shorts. Anyways, suffice it to say I was wearing this outfit before Esther Quek.

    Instead, I’m wearing a dress with a blazer and calling it close enough.

  2. Canadian here. You guys have had such a rough time of it lately. Even watching this all from a distance has been tough, so I can’t imagine what you are all going through.

    I hope you guys know that millions of people all over the world are sending their strength and energy to you.

    We can’t do much to help today, but we can let you know how much we believe in you all. You can do this.

    America is such a great place and every American I’ve been lucky enough to meet at A-camp(s) have been so friendly and welcoming.

    If you feel alone and tired, just remember, the world is with you.

    Do what needs to be done. We’ll be waiting on the other side with some consensual hugs and awkward shoulder pats.

    xxxxx

  3. I was in line before the polls even opened here in North Carolina, and even though I finished an hour ago I’m still feeling all the feels. It’s strange how anxious I’ve been up until now, but all I feel is this optimistic jubilation.

  4. There’s always a bake sale at my polling place! One more thing to love about Minnesota- strong possibility of bars at any civic event (or any event, really). I bought rhubarb bars & rice krispy treats. Oh and I voted for Hillary of course.

  5. My wife and I brought our daughter to our polling place this morning to help us vote. We live in a very red area of New Hampshire. There are 20 Trump signs for every one Clinton sign. We walked in wearing white and radiating pride. I cried when I cast my vote during the primary season. I didn’t cry today. I was so full of joy – I just grinned from ear to ear. When a reporter from our local paper saw me grinning on the way out, she asked, “What are you hoping to see in the outcome of this election?” I said, “Hillary Clinton and overall inclusiveness.” She smiled, wrote down my comment and then snapped a picture. I very much hope to see it in tomorrow’s paper under the headline, “Clinton Wins.”

  6. PA doesn’t have early voting. I waited about an hour and a half to get in this morning, only one person was checking polls, and because of that only 1-2 booths were in use at a time. The line was even longer by the time I finished.

    My area, a college town, will almost definitely go blue; I’m just worried about some of our surrounding areas, especially in our heavily gerrymandered state house districts.

  7. Over the past few months I’ve gotten so distracted by my fear of a Trump presidency that I’ve totally forgotten to celebrate the possibility of Hillary’s win. Today I’m feeling optimistic and cheery; can’t wait for my hero to be my president!!

  8. I was in line with my wife when our polling place opened its doors at 7 AM. We are proud to do our part in the great swing state of Wisconsin! I hope we can send Feingold back to Washington, too.

    On the way back, I realized that this is my first presidential election since transitioning — and I got to vote for Hillary. I’m definitely having all the feelings today! ?

  9. My precinct was busier this morning than I’ve ever seen it, and I’ve been voting in this precinct for about 18 years. I have to confess that as I slipped my ballot into the counting machine, my shoulders did a bit of a shimmy, and I walked out with a tear in my eye.

  10. In my hometown of Rochester, people leave their “I Voted Today” stickers on Susan B. Anthony’s grave. There were no stickers when I voted on campus today. I am sad.

  11. Just overheard one of my better students say he’s voting for Trump. And I’m like, how?!?! He had good things to say during my lecture on feminist art history, how is this kid voting for that asshole?!

  12. I walked into my elementary school polling place early this morning and teared up. It was packed–full of women of color, families with children, young people. I looked around and everyone was smiling, full of hope and quiet potential. There were handshakes and greetings between neighbors and broad grins when a young girl asked her dad, “Can I vote too?”. I walked out and a trio of young women, voting in their first ever election, were taking a selfie with their stickers. As I walked by an older lady told them, “We’ve got this, ladies!”. I’ve avoided thinking about the possibilities of this election for so many months, but today I was filled with so much hope and joy by my fellow voters–I hope we all remember our power to lift each other up.

  13. Once again I am very happy to be able to just sleep through this.
    Me and a colleague decided yesterday that upon waking up on wednesday, the news shouldn’t be brought to us by some newspaper’s app, but rather by a video of a very relaxed sloth telling us the result of this election veeery calmly and softly.

    I am trying to be somewhat optimistic, though. Just saved this picture because I want it as my FB cover photo tomorrow:

  14. It’s almost over, thank heavens! I voted early, made calls for Hillary over the weekend.

    Since then I’ve been focused on self-hate and reading a queer history of the suffrage movement. I can’t definitively parse whether the ladies were actually queer, but they definitely succeeded more because they had close, supportive female relationships and that is also something to celebrate. The book is called To Believe in Women.

    Most of it is pretty ambiguous, but the following definitely isn’t. “Carrie Chapman Catt’s intimacy with Mollie Hay is not difficult to trace, since a large correspondence still exists, though the meaning of many statements is not always unambiguous. Sometimes the letters are provocative in their suggestion of an exuberant sexual relationship. For example, did it really mean what it seemed to mean when, on August 27, 1911, in anticipation of Mollie’s birthday, which they would not be able to celebrate together that year, Carrie wrote from abroad, “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you 69 kisses, one for each year”? In 1911, Mollie, who was born in 1857, would have been fifty-four years old.” Get it, Carrie Chapman Catt!

    This evening I’m going to a watch party hosted by the HRC, I’m going to bask in my community and hopefully have a lot to celebrate.

  15. I voted a few days ago but I saved my “I Voted” wrist band to wear today. My POW is also a polling place today so… that should be interesting. I don’t have a pantsuit but I’m wearing my blue tie and blue cardigan with pants for the occasion so I still feel pretty Nasty Woman-ish.
    Tonight I’m going to see FUN HOME The Musical with some fellow queermos and hopefully we’ll emerge from the theater to a giant Hillary lead. Breathe in, Breathe out.

  16. I voted early on the second day in a more swing/diverse region in my red state of Texas. I am tragically pantsuitless as ever today, but I plan to rock a sharp button down with what I like to call my Election Blue sweater.

    I have to admit, I woke up today feeling incredibly anxious, but hearing everyone’s willingness to choose hope this morning is beautiful and helpful.

  17. I voted early in Massachusetts, and because my most convenient location’s early voting date happened to be Halloween, I had the surreal experience of handing my ballot to someone dressed as a clown. As my colleague pointed out the following day, least I didn’t VOTE for a clown.

  18. I voted absentee. I’m from the suburbs of Rochester, NY and if I had voted at home I hope I would have been cool enough to stop by Susan B. Anthony’s grave at Mount Hope Cemetery. Anthony is cemetery neighbors with such fine folks as Frederick Douglas and her dentist Josephus A. Requa!

    As it turns out I’m in Brooklyn. I’m planning on hiding in the woods and praying for peace for awhile today because I don’t need to spend the whole day at my computer.

  19. Another Canadian here, sending you all positive vibes! I’m not wearing a suit today, but went with my favourite outfit instead- grey polka dot button down, black bowtie, black pants, brown belt and brown shoes. I’m following two different election day blogs in addition tot his one, because apparently after a year and half, I haven’t had enough and I’m a glutton for punishment.

  20. My city updated the way we do voting to make the process easier and faster in anticipation for a higher turnout. When I went at 7 this morning my mother commented that it was busier than it normally is.

  21. I voted by mail at the end of October (my county votes 100% by mail, except for a handful of special access polling stations). I miss having a sticker. Also, the mail-vote tends to suppress voter turnout (I think due to procrastination…you can still hand in your ballot at the end of the day in a drop box, but it feels futile when “results” are already coming in).

  22. My anxiety about this election decided to manifest as anxiety about filling out the ballot itself. And then I was so keyed up to vote for Hillary, it totally threw me that Trump was listed first on the ballot and I started panicking, thinking that maybe I had just accidentally voted for Trump. (This happened before I had even uncapped my pen.) I re-read Hillary’s name a bajillion times, then voted in the presidential race first so that if I messed up I could get a new ballot and not have to redo everything else. Then at the end I went back and checked a bunch more to make sure I hadn’t voted for Trump. I probably made the voting line longer. But I voted for Hillary! I’m so excited.

  23. I sent in my abstentee ballot weeks ago (as I go to grad school in NY and am from NJ) so now all that’s left is to spend the rest of this time obsessively checking the news and internally screaming!! (and drinking alcohol…definitely alcohol)

  24. I left the house today dressed in a white button-down with my “The Future is Female” sweatshirt over top, with a denim jacket that had ‘classic’ Hillary buttons (these are from her first run in 2008). I was slightly nervous to enter my polling place wearing this because even though I live in the most progressive, blue city in my state, the area in which I live is VERY red. Like the main thoroughfare through my area of town looks like someone violently puked up Trump signs. However, I was met with an unusual kindness, compliments on my sweatshirt, and I noticed a much more diverse group of folks voting. I’m going to take all of this as a good sign!

  25. I had a spot in the front row for Obama’s speech in NH yesterday. He was incredible. My wife and I stood with our two kids (7 and 5) for six hours to hold our spot in the rope line and it was well worth it to have him stop in front of us, look down at my two kids, say “Hi!” and then shake hands with all four of us.

    My wife and I both thanked him before he moved on down the line. It was a long ass day of standing with no food, water, or bathroom breaks for 6 hours. But both girls told me this morning “it was worth it, Mama.” And as we drove home from voting this morning both girls yelled from the back seat “don’t boo, VOTE!”

    This is the world they are growing up in. I couldn’t be more proud to have cast my vote for Obama and now for Hillary. With luck my children will be at least 16 and 13 before they see an old white dude as their president.

  26. I voted early here in North Carolina. As a swing state the last couple of weeks have been brutal. Five or six political ads during virtually every commercial break. Then you throw in the Senate race and the Governor’s race. I just feel battered even though I’ve known who I was going to vote for for months. No wonder people don’t vote. It’s hard not to become disillusioned.

      • I’ll have to check when I get home! I didn’t notice it on the GIANT voter guide book I received, but it could be there. Somehow I think my county is too cheap to do that. Besides, we only get the generic tiny ovals with an American flag and “I voted” on it. Every other city has such cool stickers that I’m suffering from sticker envy!

  27. Hello everyone! I just signed up and this is my first post ever. Anyway, enough about me.

    I am French and have been following the election for months now (I’m pretty sure I’ll experience withdrawals starting tomorrow).
    This whole cycle has been a nightmare to witness, most of us on this side of the pond cannot fathom how the race for the presidency of the most powerful country on earth could stoop so low. I am pulling for a Hillary win, because if the orange traffic cone wins it will mean the Old Continent will be sandwiched between the USA and Russia. I’d rather not go back to the Cold War days..
    The wait for the results and the timezones will be the death of me!

    • Hey, timezone buddy here. Let’s try to keep each other awake!

      PS I kinda feel like the UK screwed us out of our opportunity to feel superior to the US during this election to be honest. 😉

    • It’s also my first post! Dutch here, and since it is almost 23.30 here I will be going to bed soon and hopefully will not wake up in a dystopian novel where a misogynistic racist barely sentient cheeto has the US nuclear lauch codes. It has been interesting and source for lots of great comedy and terrifying all at once.

      Goog luck to all of you actually personally living in the eye of the hurricane!

      Greetings from a place where voting normally costs me about 5-10 minutes. These lines are crazy!

  28. GOOD MORNING LOVES

    I thought I was going to wake up into a nightmare anxious day but I woke up into a day when I have clarity and perfect confidence. We’ve got this, WE SO HAVE THIS. It’s so clear. It’s going to be fine. Pantsuit Nation and this thread are giving me so much joy and certainty. Today we elect a woman president!!! ???

  29. I voted a couple of hours ago and I have feelings about it. I live in a pretty consistent blue state so I’m not to worried about her not winning here. Both my parents are Trump supporters though. It will be nice for the family dinners of clenched jaws and G&T’s keeping everyone calm to return. After one to many verbal explosions over the mashed potatoes this election season, I’m ready for bad feelings to return to being subtext over dinner.

      • Thanks. I’m still not out to my Dad yet. I tried to get a read on how he might react to me coming out by telling him Mike Pence tried to funnel funding from HIV education into conversion therapy and his freedom of religion bill would have allowed businesses to deny any services to members of the LGBTQ community and all I got was, “Well, there’s such a war against Christianity in our country…” Not feeling too confident about coming out very soon.

        • If you want to rebuttal the war on christianity argument you could point out the fact that Trump is the most unchristian choice of this election. He’s bragged about being lustful and assaulting women, he has admitted to cheating on his ex-wives without remorse, he’s prideful, he does not show mercy, he is not humble, and he thinks that he himself is the greatest which means he worships a false idol, himself. Although, I understand why you wouldn’t want to argue about it with your family anymore, I too have put a hold on trying to change the mind of pro-Trump/third party people in my life.

          As for coming out to your dad, it’d be unfair for me to tell you to come out ASAP because I don’t know your situation but what I can say is that you are not alone and that’s something you need to remember no matter what you do.

          • Thank you. I’ve been thinking the same things about Trump. I didn’t intend for my post to go on about coming out gayangst but I really needed to open up the release valve and say a few things. I really, really appreciate that someone was on the other end.

  30. I just made myself coffee and I’m having a quiet moment to prepare to go into my polling place. I vote absentee but I always like handing it in myself anyway?

    Ok but also I looked up my polling place in that thing at the top of the page and it’s telling me a different place than every single year of the past 8 years I’ve been voting???

    EDIT: I looked it up and it IS in a different place. Thank you Autostraddle! I would have totally gone to the wrong place. Although this makes me kind of sad because I really liked my voting location, there were never long lines and everyone was friendly and it acted as a daycare or early education center or something so there were murals of the ocean and other cool things on the walls.

  31. I voted by mail last week; for postage I used the new Wonder Woman stamp where she has her hammer raised to smite someone. So for me today is just a game of hurry-up-and-wait, and I’m cleaning my apartment; pure busywork to keep me from anxiety-diving into a swimming pool of whisky. Tonight I will watch the election results come in with my fellow queermos at either HRC’s or the LALGBT Center’s watching party – whichever place has a bigger screen with Rachel Maddow’s face on it.

    I’m grateful for this thread and the optimism radiating off of it. It’s a beautiful day, the birds are singing, it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse at all. I truly believe Hills will prevail!

  32. I voted early but I can’t shake my anxiety. I have a lesbian friend voting Trump. I have three roommates who are voting Third party or write-in for Bernie Sanders. They do not think a Trump presidency will be that bad because Trump himself has no solid plans, failing to understand the fact that the simple act of electing him to high office will cause ripple effects in our government and foreign policy. When I bring up the fact that this country will become a disaster zone and all the progress we’ve made in the past 8 years will be on the chopping block they say “So? Maybe that’s what we need” or “I kinda want to see it go up in flames”. I’m emotionally exhausted over this and I can’t argue with them anymore.

    I just think of them when I think of all the swing states that might be close today and it makes me nuts.

  33. I sent in my mail-in ballot (Colorado’s doing mostly mail this time around) a while ago, but in between my mom’s weekly and now pretty much daily evenings volunteering and Carrie’s post about canvassing for Hillary, I tried out phone banking this morning for the first time.

      • I made about 50 calls and had two people answer the phone; one curtly answered “no” when asked if it was correct he was a Hillary supporter; the other sounded like a male relative of the person I was trying to get ahold of, but he said she did plan to vote. There was also one call where I heard somebody say “hello? hello?” as though they couldn’t hear me, which made me wonder if perhaps I accidentally muted myself.

        Similarly to @wadeacar, I’m a rather introverted person, so the fact that most people didn’t pick up the phone was fine with me – mostly, I’d have felt antsy not doing something to help in these historic times.

  34. Another Canadian stopping by for a visit.

    If there is one good thing to take away from the election of Trump as the republican presidential nominee, it’s that America will hopefully stop deluding itself into believing that issues of race, class, and sexuality aren’t real. Whether or not he actually buys the bigoted hate speech he’d been spouting since day 1 or whether he was just trying to appeal to anti-Clintonites, it’s clear that his followers certainly do. I pray that this toxicity won’t be swept under the rug and ignored as it has so often been, and that going forward, these problems can be discussed openly and overcome.

    You’ve got this, America.

  35. I voted this morning with pride. I don’t own a white pants suit, but I wore a nice white shirt and black leather jacket to look my dykely best. We had a good crowd but not long lines in my very white and moderate Republican town — I even saw a couple of people of color going in, which means our large refugee center is starting to make a difference! Tonight we’re having what I call Hillary’s Nachos to watch the results with, in honor of Her Herness eating a jalapeno every day:
    Blue corn chips
    white sharp cheddar cheese and sour cream
    red salsa
    chopped fresh jalapeno and cilantro
    beer and hope

  36. I voted absentee earlier this week. I am so anxious and excited.

    Tonight I am going to see Ani in Burlington (which I have really mixed feelings about) but I figure it is probably just the environment I want to be in when results start coming in.

    GAH!! So excited for this to be all over and for Hillary to be our president!

  37. Someone I helped register to vote let slip they voted 3rd party and is now being crapped on by everyone one in their life.

    They didn’t understand the ramifications of their choice and are now upset because they think no one will forgive them or let this go.

    I’m like having to talk them down here.

    FUCK THIS AWFUL FUCKING ELECTION.

    Making everything awful.

    • Sometimes I feel like American politics play out like two opposing football teams. My (sorta?) boyfriend likes Jill Stein, and he’s gotten crap for it as well. My intent is to vote for Hillary, but I feel like it’s wrong to give the American public two extreme choices and harass them for picking anything outside of it. People who don’t affiliate with Democrat or Republican feel like they have no voice in America. 🙁

    • As a Johnson voter, I feel your friend’s pain (and yours, trying to help her). And I, too, am sick of the vitriol that has come from both sides (which I have personally experienced, although thankfully not so badly). I have stated my piece and they’ve stated theirs, but it’s amazing to me how many people seem to fall back on some version of, “How dare you not fall in line!” The fact that we ever came to these two terrible choices is part of the problem.

      Certainly I would prefer a Clinton presidency to a Trump one, and I think that’s what we’re going to get, but that’s not actually saying much considering Trump is the worst major candidate for President I’ve seen in my life. I’m glad most people here are going to be happy tonight, or at the very least relieved – I wouldn’t want to take that away from anybody. I just hope that some people will stay suspicious and stay vigilant and be prepared to resist under a Democratically controlled government like they would have under one controlled by the Republicans. What really keeps me up nights is anyone thinking for a hot second these people really represent us or care about us. Right now, the state is primarily an agent of violence and control, regardless of who’s in charge of it.

      Anyway, that was a bit rant-y, and I know it’s hardly going to be a popular view among the AS set, but it’s been on my mind. Hopefully tomorrow after Trump has to admit he’s a loser with a capital L, the Republicans will have to sit down and take a hard look at themselves, then turn away from the crazy as they should have, but failed to, in 2008. A highly unlikely circumstance, I know, but I think having one of the two major parties be totally not viable is a dangerous situation.

  38. I’ve been planning an elaborate Hillary Party since before she even got the nomination so right now I’m sitting at my desk begging it to be 5 o clock so I can start hanging decorations, making queso, and blasting my nasty woman playlist (search spotify #hillyes)! I’ve been with Hillary since even before she ran against Obama and I am so ecstatic that her years of hard work and public service are finally going to culminate in the presidency! My fiercely republican, fundamentalist christian mom even voted for Hillary! THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN’!!

  39. To add to the list of phone numbers voters can call if they encounter difficulties:

    * The National Federation of the Blind is running a voter hotline until 10:00 PM for blind voters encountering difficulties with non-visual election technology. It can be reached at 877-632-1940.
    * There’s also a state specific directory of protection and advocacy hotlines for any voters with a disability encountering issues at polling places. http://www.advocacymonitor.com/directory-of-protection-and-advocacy-voter-assistance-hotlines-2016/

  40. I am taking bets on how many times I will cry today (I think PMS and politics go together PERFECTLY). It’s 9:32am in CA and I’ve already cried 9 times. Going well!

    1) Reading my mother’s voting post
    2) Listening to Sister Suffragette (from Mary Poppins) on my walk to the polls.
    3) When I walked into my polling place.
    4) When I walked out of my polling place.
    5) When I texted my parents and my mom said SHE cried with my voting posts.
    6-8) Various Pantsuit Nation posts on the train.
    9) Texting my grandmother about voting.

    Hope you all stay hydrated today!

  41. I sent in my vote by mail ballot last Monday. I’m really curious to see how CA’s state races go because the Dems may get their super majority back. Wish the same could be said for the House/Senate races…

  42. I voted earlier today and it felt really good in some ways, but knowing that my state (WV) will be going to Trump regardless took away some of the awesomeness! But I am feeling pretty optimistic for tonight and a Trump Defeat! I also had a conversation with someone this morning that said how they didn’t really care for Trump but they loved Pence, so I am glad you are all here today to keep me sabe and balance out people in my life!

  43. I wore jeans, combat boots, a Nasty Woman t-shirt, and a blazer to vote in Wisconsin this morning. My polling place is in an assisted living facility, and some of the old ladies who lived there came down to peep at the lines when the polls opened at 7. They were so excited to see us waiting!

    I am getting almost no work done, and have already eaten a scone and a chocolate pudding hand pie out of nerves. I’ve got derby practice tonight and am nervous that the scrimmage at the end is going to be a shit-show, with people (me) getting overly aggro or sloppy because they’re (I’m) anxious.

  44. Oh Autostraddle, this made me feel WAY better, thank you! The first thing on my to do list today says, “DO NOT follow election stuff all day.” I have already not done this. I voted absentee last week (with a Rosa Parks stamp), which is fortunate, because I work with small children, so I’m sick AGAIN. It would just be mean to give this to all the poll workers. (But if I hadn’t already voted, I would go do it anyway!) For other people who cope with pictures of animals, I recommend today’s Itty Bitty Kitty Committee megapost, it is great. And this comic strip seems relevant today.

    Parting notes verbatim from my queer household as bff was on her way out the door:

    “I’m going to therapy!”
    “I’m researching Canadian citizenship!”
    “I’m looking at pictures of kittens!”

  45. I voted just about an hour ago, and the worst part was the guy checking in next to me who was holding the woman checking him in hostage to his own gross pontification about how liberals keep saying its racist to ask for ids at polls. the poor lady had those instantly recognizable hiding-discomfort eyes.

    voting is always kind of a mixed bag for me. I think a lot about a story my dad likes to tell of when he went to the march on the pentagon against the vietnam war. everyone came on school buses and he started off in michigan and theirs was the only school bus he saw, but then as they got closer and closer the streets were filled with more and more school buses until they were the only cars on the road. I walked across my little town to vote, and I had some of that same sense of everyone around me being there for the same thing I was, and how beautiful it was that we can all come together for democracy.

    then I saw all the trump signs and remembered that while we are all coming together, a pretty big chunk of the people I’m coming together with hate me, and my friends, and people like us. sigh.

  46. Greetings from The Netherlands! I’m going to stay up all night here until I see Hillary Clinton win this thing.

    I see a lot of anxiety about this election and that’s very understandable, but I do hope you all take a little time to enjoy the fact that you got to vote for a woman today and at the end of this day, your country may have voted in a female president. What an exciting day!

    Rooting for you USA!

  47. I’m mail-in voted a few weeks ago, I wanted to get it done as soon as possible, but I’m still pretty anxious overall. It seems like Gov.Brown is likely to be re-elected and that’s so exciting! But there are a LOT of down ballot campaigns, and its harder to keep track of all those so I hope they go well

  48. I’m from Brazil, where voting is mandatory, it always happens on a Sunday, and all poll stations are electronic (but are never connected to the internet, so there is slim to none possibility of hacking). I am always mesmerized by US elections. The notion that you can mail in your vote is insane to me.

    But alas, I’m following your results closely – partly to procrastinate writing my dissertation, but mostly to avoid thinking the clusterfuck that Brazilian politics has become lately (but not because of out voting system, sadly it is the only politics-related thing that works here).

  49. Cute story: one of the toddlers I work with was wearing a “I voted” sticker today, so I asked the group, “do you know what we are voting for today?” and she yells, “Hillary!”. I love politically aware 2 year olds. Lol.

  50. my roommates and i are all about to go vote for hillary. i haven’t had a lot of enthusiasm about my voting choices this election, but a friend added me to pantsuit nation the other day, and it has been really nice seeing all these excited, uplifting posts about people voting for hillary. way better than the bombardment of nonsense i’ve been seeing from my family on facebook. one of my mom’s cousins posted about the things she was voting for like her children and “legal immigration” and i had a good laugh over that and thought to myself “yes me too!” except, you know, i actually am, and she’s voting for trump. (i think it was one of those laugh or cry sorts of moments.)

    i have this silly video i post every election year as a reminder for people to vote because it has a song in it with lines like “vote! vote! vote! unless you are a potted plant ’cause potted plants can’t vote” and i figured i’d share it here too in case anyone wants to watch a weird funny cartoon about voting (for a class president) to lighten the mood a little. i never have any luck embedding videos, so here’s just the link (tho if a mod would embed it for me i’d greatly appreciate it):

  51. I had some triggering experience happen on Sunday and it flared my depression (which has been waning!!!) right up. Usually, I recover pretty fast these days thanks to medication and therapy etc. so I was surprised that after one day of rest and recovery I couldn’t get out of bed again today… 🙁 I then realized that it is probably the election thing–even though I haven’t been reading any news and have been intentionally staying away from media (see ya tomorrow everyone) I had a stress dream about a 6yo girl of color holding my hand begging for the monster to be cleared out from under her bed. I then figured that it was this election buried deep into my subconscious no matter how much I want to Lorelai the fuck out until tomorrow. I am not a person of color but I realize that if I had one for a kid I would be so so so so so effing scared for her and her future based on today. I am lucky that I am so privileged as a white cis person and my ability to stick it out through 4 years of orange cheeto would be relatively doable. Not so for our fellow citizens who don’t have the same privilege. there is so much fear. ugh. I finally was able to get out of bed when I remembered that I have pumpkin cheesecake leftovers in the freezer and also that we are all going to be dead in 100 years from now. ( I early voted. I’m sure it will all be fine.)

  52. Good morning from Australia! I just woke up and while I am still extremely confused about your country’s voluntary voting, first past the post electoral system I am truly wishing you all the best. Unfortunately we over here are well accustomed to racist, sexist, homophobic men being in charge of everything.

    I also have an exam this afternoon which is happening exactly when we will find out results – the last polls close at 2:30pm my time, and my exam is from 2 until 5:30. Not ideal.

      • According to Australia’s Electoral Commission, if you didn’t vote in the federal election, you’re subject to a $20 fine. Most countries have voter validation rolls, where you can see whether someone voted in a specific election, so that would allow the country to determine whether a fine should be levied.

        Talking about voting rules / electoral systems is the only thing calming my anxiety right now!

        • That said, voting is anonymous, so if you just fill it out incorrectly on purpose you can get away with not voting in Australia and not risk a fine if you really want to, and many people do. I would never do or recommend that, I’m just providing the extra information.

          • Not quite so. Voting itself is not mandatory but getting your name crossed off of the enrolment list when you present to vote is. If your name is not crossed off the list, either by the staff at the polling station or by the elctoral staff registering your postal or absentee vote, when it’s received, then you are fined.

            At the polling station you are handed the voting slips once your name is crossed off the list then it’s up to you to fill in the papers. Some people write or draw all sorts of rubbish on their forms or just fold them up and put them in the ballot box, unfilled. This constitutes an informal vote and your hard won right to vote is wasted. You can guess my opinion about doing this no matter how teed off you are by both sides of politics. Anyway hope this makes it clearer.

      • Yep it’s a fine. I believe it’s rarely enforced, but of enrolled voters we have a turnout of at least 95% every election.
        I know our system isn’t perfect, but reading about America I am always so pleased that we have one federal electoral commission who standardise the rules for voting across the country. And no voter ID laws!

    • Maine is actually voting to adopt the same form of voting system (still voluntary, though) as Australia has for its lower legislature! (This won’t apply for president, of course, but it could affect elections for the national legislature and governor.)

      Okay, done geeking out…

      • I am a total election geek too! That’s cool for Maine. Our greens party is fairly big (it gets around 10% of the vote) because of our voting system, which is pretty cool. The Senate voting over here is pretty wild and confusing though – they just changed it around a bit and the nerd in me spent weeks explaining to everyone I knew how it meant they had to vote.

  53. Okay. Autostraddle, I love you, but I assumed it would be safe to click on any of the links in the election post while I’m at work. I did NOT expect an article about sex toys to pop up!!

  54. I voted two weeks ago when early voting started here in Houston. I went on my way to work on the first day. I was surprised how long the line was when I got to the polling place, but it made me happy because it was a good turnout. I only saw one Trump hat, thankfully, but I also saw a little girl in line with her mom holding a Hillary bobblehead, which was pretty cute.

    I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety the last couple of days, but the Houston Zoo is doing a 12-hour Facebook Live post today, and watching that on my phone is taking the edge off. It’s here if you want to share in the goodness: https://www.facebook.com/houstonzoo/?fref=ts 🙂

  55. And the guilt slowly settles in.

    I confess.

    I did not exercise my right to vote. For ignorant reasons. Mainly fear. But that’s no excuse.

    I did not vote. Maybe I don’t belong here. My family voted. Yeah they voted for Trump but they voted. I don’t understand why I voluntarily stayed silent.

    Maybe I don’t belong in this country if I am not willing to voice my objections through a vote. I feel really bad reading some comments.

    Sincery,

    A Bad American

    • aw friend, please dont feel guilty. Theres a lot of guilt-tripping that goes on in voter turn out stuff, but voting is not the only way to be politically engaged. I think this election was probably a terrifying first election because everything was so incredibly vitriolic. I can completely understand being too intimidated by everything to actually vote. Maybe sometime in the next three years, before the next presidential election, while things are calmer, you can register to vote and be ready for 2020. good luck.

      • I think most of the guilt comes from the fact that some of my firends are not here legally and they told me my vote makes them feel better. I did not have the heart to tell them I did not vote. I did not know some of them were not legal since they grew up here in this country.

    • No shame. There is a lot more to being a good American than voting, and frankly, voting is but a small part of how we safeguard our Republic. Please don’t get down on yourself over this. It’s going to be OK.

    • I believe it is our right to vote, but that right comes with the CHOICE. I actually think that it’s a valid choice not to vote, as long as it’s a free choice.

      I also think all states should have same-day registration. There are still too many impediments to voting. If your state had same-day registration, you could freely exercise your right to vote even if you didn’t register earlier.

      I am sure it won’t come down to one vote in your state. You are fine. If you think you’ll want to vote in the future, maybe register to vote today (if your state allows online registration) or this week (if you have to register in person or by mail)! You won’t be able to vote tonight, but you will be able to next time and that’s an awesome way to celebrate election day! <3

  56. I have to go to sleep and try to wake up to results, since I teach 8 hours starting… 8 hours from now. UGGGH

    But I got a raise and am back on regular income so I upgraded to Silver. Thanks so much for the Cobalt option so I could stay A+ during the hard times.

    Love to everyone here, take care of yourselves tonight.

  57. Ok I was finally able to go and turn in my ballot (I was going to go this morning but what I am assuming is the stress from this election has actually made me PHYSICALLY ILL to the point where I was sick all morning and had to leave work after only an hour and a half) and it all went really smoothly.

    There weren’t any long lines and the people were friendly enough, although I did notice two people in the short line ahead of me seemed to be having problems where they weren’t on the list of voters. I think it could be something about the areas switching up polling places since mine was different also, so maybe these people are in the same boat but didn’t look up their polling place? IDK, but I got my sticker and I’m happy.

  58. I had this dream last night that I was an astronaut and I had trained for many, many months and I was all prepared to climb onto this rocket that I was going to straddle like a horse and ride into the ocean, where I was going to complete a scientific expedition on the sea floor. And there was so much prep and I had an oxygen tank and an Apple watch and I was READY. But just as someone lit the fuse on the rocket (oh, dreams) this dude climbed up onto the rocket in front of me, and I was like, you’re not prepared, you don’t have oxygen, you’re barefoot, you don’t have anything you need, and the dude was like it’s fine, I’ll be fine, you’ll give me some of yours. And I thought, he’s going to die down there. But the rocket took off and launched into the sea and landed deep, deep on the sea floor and I had to share my oxygen with this dude, and every breath I gave him was one I didn’t get, but we completed our expedition and got back to dry land, finally,

    AND HE GOT ALL THE CREDIT.

    I have a feeling this dream was somehow, weirdly, about this election, although I hope tonight ends very, very differently.

  59. THIS IS EXCELLENT COVERAGE! I’m a Brit and feel rude chiming in with all of my irrelevant feelz about this, but I’m staying up all fucking night long (right here on this wonderful live blog!) and wish you guys all the luck there is that things turn out ok over the next few hours. *Holds hands across the pond*

  60. Me and my mate voted this morning. It was sometime between 9 and 10, and mostly old people. We got ourselves signed in after a bit of a wait – our state has a voter ID law, so we had to show our licenses. I wore my maroon shirt with a big “no” sign through the words “lie, cheat, steal”. It’s a riff on the Texas A&M Aggie Honor Code, and I thought it fitting, but a lady in front of me seemed to think it was a Trump shirt or something. Maybe ’cause maroon is close to red? Yeesh. We passed our little piece of paper reminding us how we wanted to vote on the ballot amendments back and forth, and then I voted, left the room, and waited. When my fella didn’t follow me after a minute or two, I looked back in the polling area, bemused. Turned out he’d made a stray mark on his ballot and had to do it all over again. Voting fail! He finally did get through the line again to meet me out in the hall, where we somehow navigated the sea of gray and white heads to escape.

    Then we sighed, grumbled, and chuckled our way home, bracing ourselves for whatever tomorrow brings. I think a fitting theme song for it all would have been “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who.

  61. When I was little, my parents told me I could be anything I wanted to be except POTUS, because I wasn’t born in the US. My daughter really can be whatever she wants when she grows up and today we cast a ballot for the first female president together and it was pretty great.

    Regardless of how you feel about HRC, it is a big fucking deal that she might be president in 2017. Baby T may get to grow up in a world here having a female president is a real thing and even a normal thing. WHAT?!

    I’m camped out on the couch with the baby watching CNN all night. I’m super nervous!

  62. Sent in my absentee ballot a couple weeks ago so no sticker but I’m still ready for the results!!! My friend canceled her election party so I’m trying to find somewhere else to go to watch it but I’m definitely dressed for the occasion.

  63. If Buzzfeed coverage is driving you up the wall checkout TheYoungTurks on youtube. I watch all their election coverage. I know it’s mostly guys on the panel but they are honest about their opinions and have limited breaks and Ana Kasparian is on with them right now and she is awesome.

  64. My co-worker’s boyfriend is threatening to LEAVE HER if Hillary wins because she voted for Gary and he’s voting for Trump

    Continued in today’s episode of “In Other News, Straight People Worry Me”…

  65. Update:

    So being some what non-religious and skeptical of the notion of God, I decided to go ahead and throw a Hail Mary. I figured since the last time I honestly prayed to god, was for him/her to send me someone and I met my wofe that night, maybe it will work again. So guys, I went to the 72hour prayer booth thing on campus and wrote my ballot on a prayer request card to hang up with the other prayers. So I voted in spirit I guess. Prayed about other stuff to sooooo either way, the booth was used for the intended purpose.

  66. Call Out Post: how come there aren’t any pictures of me or my tweets in this liveblog?

    I look super super cute and got to vote using my real name (I changed it last winter) and so this is a big election year for me!

  67. Today my mom and I voted for Clinton and then we went and ate at a local Mexican restaurant. Then we drank some wine and watched Dancing with the Stars on Hulu to try to alleviate some election stress. And by “drink some wine” I mean, she had one tiny little cup and then I drank the rest of the bottle.

    And now DWTS is over so I’ve turned over to the news and I’m seeing that my home state (VA) is leaning towards Trump so I’m stressed out all over again.

    But some good news is that I just read that Ruby Rose and Jessica from The Veronicas are dating again so at least something is right in this world!

  68. I don’t think I have ever not been able to look away as much as tonight. I spent the last two hours refreshing the results and this thread every few minutes.

    I am very grateful for Autostraddle and all of you!

  69. I think my heart and brain have gone out to run a handful of marathons (or something); leaving my body at home to ask What is happening??? And Where did I hid the emergency chocolate?

  70. I just got up at 3:30 in the morning to watch this shitstorm but oh my god I wish I would have slept for another 4 years. I am so anxious. why are people so stupid and also what the fuck is the US Voting system. I get a headache trying to understand how this is democratic.

  71. Time to start packing for mexico. Even if Hillary wins, the damage is done. The seeds of fear and hate are already sprouting. It’s okay to be hateful, to grab pussies and let people die. One thing I take from this election? We need to be examples of positive change. We need to take our roles more seriously when it comes to all levels of government. We need to legalize weed so everyone can chill out.

  72. Okay so now I know how David Duke type racists felt in November of 2008, can I wake up from this early bird special reverse Christmas Carol now?
    I promise not to internally mock ignorant hateful jerkfaces anymore.
    Or call David Duke an over embalmed plastinated crypt keeper of hate again.

  73. Does any of my fellow Americans feel like their heart is actually breaking? Like is America actually close to voting for someone that sexually assaults women and incites hate?

    My heart is breaking for my country.

  74. Fuck, I never wished so much I had someone to hold me right now… I don’t even know if I’m emotionally capable of keeping up with US politics for the next 4 years, I just don’t know if I can take hearing about what’s gonna happen if Roe v Wade and Obergefell v Hodges are repealed (and that’s just the high-profile side of things), let alone immigration and foreign policy… Forget moving to another country, can I please start packing my bags for Mars or something? Clearly betting on the chance that there are in fact Martians there who will welcome us with open arms and an advanced civilization hidden underground is a better bet than that humanity will get its shit together within my lifetime. Goodbye, faith in humanity; hello black void, my old friend, how I’ve missed you not…

  75. From your first black president to a president endorsed by the KKK. I can’t.
    Seriously, how is this happening? Hillary was projected to win this. How did it all turn to shit at the last minute?

    • White male privilege. That’s how.

      All the latinos that hate illegals and forget they are just first or second generation legal. That’s how.

      All the minorities that think just because they have an education, they benefit from wealth privilege, so they ignore racism. That’s how.

      Lets not forget all the women that like being grabbed by Trump. That’s how

      Oh and all the women that work but think Hillary wasn’t up for it. It’s a man’s job they say…..

      That is how.

    • “Fascism arrives as your friend.
      It will restore your honour,
      make you feel proud,
      protect your house,
      give you a job,
      clean up the neighbourhood,
      remind you of how great you once were,
      clear out the venal and the corrupt,
      remove anything you feel is unlike you…”
      -Michael Rosen

      People who felt like THEIR COUNTRY has been taken from them and defile can outta the wood work to vote.

  76. And we have a KKK endorsed fascist. They’ll have the House, the Senate, the Executive branch, and the Supreme Court. They can destroy our lives in ways they only fantasized theirs were. Lives will literally be in danger too.

    I can’t even. I pray to God that the military and federal police forces don’t allow a Nazi state.

  77. It’s 5:30 where I’m at and I need to get up and go to work, but all I want is a strong drink and I don’t even drink, usually.
    Guys, if you think of harming yourself:
    The World needs you now.
    Think of what you can do for those who will become even poorer and those who will have to bear so much hate and hardship.
    Think of what you can do for your community.
    Think of those things instead.
    Think of them and make a plan and maybe even do that.
    This is a time we need to stand closer together.
    The time to do that is right now.

  78. Serious question, can my marriage be invalidated by a new supreme court decision? Can spouses make wills ahead of time to get in front of this?

    Also, I don’t know what to do with myself, I feel hollow.

    • Hi! I’m not a legal scholar or particularly knowledgeable about constitutional law, but at the risk of sounding like I have overly rosy glasses on, this isn’t impossible but would at least take a while to accomplish. A new SCOTUS justice will need to be appointed, and then a new case related to marriage equality would need to make it back up through the courts. I have no doubt that the SCOTUS justice appointed will be anti-equality, but it would still be circuitous for them. This may not be as comforting as you’d like to hear, but while it’s not impossible, it would be at the very least tedious and laborious for the GOP.

    • No. Your marriage cannot be retroactively invalidated. If it was legal in the eyes of the United States of America when you married, no jerk in the future can decide otherwise. Same goes for any legally binding documents presented during your marriage. It’s good that you’re thinking about this, though.

  79. I’m not doing to well at the moment. I’m sure none of us are doing totally fine. I live in North Carolina, 20 minutes from a blue city and 20 minutes from the rural deep south. The majority of people I know voted blue (pres, congress, and state elections), but this hurts so much. I feel like my state doesn’t care about me. Plus, I’m nonbinary (transmasc) and it looks like all the supporters of HB2 are staying in office :/

    If anyone is willing to exchange contact info with me, I would love it. I’m distracting myself by comforting others, but it would be nice to receive some more support in my direction

    xx

  80. I’m so angry, I can’t even articulate in English, carajo!

    I’m scared and worried about you, about your family, partners, children and friends. And the cultural impact that this will have in your country and all around the world: so gross!

    Please, please stay strong. Stay together as a community. You need each other. We need you.

  81. “Despair, or folly?’ said Gandalf. ‘It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not. It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, though as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope. Well, let folly be our cloak, a veil before the eyes of the Enemy! For he is very wise, and weighs all things to a nicety in the scales of his malice. But the only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it, that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it. If we seek this, we shall put him out of reckoning.’
    ‘At least for a while,’ said Elrond. ‘The road must be trod, but it will be very hard. And neither strenght nor wisdom will carry us far upon it. This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.”

    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

    • I keep coming back to this one:

      “I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

      “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

  82. About half an hour I finished up my final screenprinting work in the studio for the night, and went back to Twitter to check on this. >90%? God. I never wanted to believe this could actually happen. I really thought that no matter how many people supported Trump, there would be more who would oppose him. I really believed that the amount of people with a shred of sense or compassion could outnumber the ones without, even by just a little.

    How could they do this? How could the media give him so much coverage and publicity? Everyone in my social media circles has, to my knowledge, voted against him (or the ones who didn’t vote are just being quiet), and my feed is just mourning. It makes me sick to even start to think about what the other side of the Internet must look like right now. I don’t want to think about the future of the country.

  83. I’m in the uk and America I can’t even believe what is happening. I thought I felt bad when I woke up in the middle of the night to the Brexit results (like tonight, not what the polls predicted) but this is terrifying. Thoughts are with all of you.

    • I know, and I understand this feeling, and I don’t want you to have to give up any and all optimism or hope you had about the future because of this election. We all need space to grieve and I understand that; when you’ve gone through that process, I hope you can be open to processes of resistance and organized community change so that we can help build this future you want, the future we all need. I don’t want to rush your process, but it feels so important right now that we don’t give up hope.

  84. American, the rest of the world is staring at you in incredulous terror right now. If 2016 hadn’t already been a dumpster fire, I think this officially confirms it.

    FYI, same-sex marriage is legal everywhere in Canada, and I’m still single, if anyone needs a quick and easy way to get out of America.

    • not going to lie, I am pretty sad that my company no longer has a canada branch and if i had employment options I’d be very into packing up and moving even though it’d be the third time in like a year.

    • Oh, good point I’m single and live in the Netherlands, the first country to legalise same-sex marriage.

      So, if anyone wants to date a 28-year old doctor, who would love to get married, send me a message! 😉

      2016 is the year we will have to explain to our children, the year that will be the start of a new chapter in our history books. We are so fucking screwed.

  85. National Suicide Prevention Hotline

    1-800-273-8255

    Please folks, no matter how scared we all are, we need to stay around and fight. We will make it through this together. We will see a brighter future together. It’s NOT rhetoric. We’ve got to fight for each other. For all the young people of color, who are queer, trans, Jewish, everything else… we have to stand together to resist violence and hate.

    If you’re feeling like giving in, please call that hotline. Please talk to us here. Don’t give up. We love you. You are beautiful.

  86. I’m from Germany and living in Italy right now but I wanted to let you know that all my thoughts are with you!!
    I’m so scared for all the minorities living in America and I’m really frightened that, with several elections coming up in Europe in the next years, a domino effect could happen.
    ..I don’t want that the world becomes a dark place.

    Thank you autostraddle for for this wonderful community. Please lets stay close together and let’s fight against hatred, discrimination, injustice and lies!

  87. I’m not an American, but I still think this is one of the most disheartening news I’ve ever gotten in my life. What a terrible night. I’m really heartbroken, I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling.

    My day unfortunately is about to start, but you all should take a deep breath and try to sleep a little. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.
    Lots of love from Italy, stay safe.

  88. Is it bad that I actually hope for and wish to be a part of a riot when the Republicans win this? Kinda hoping for women, gays, blacks, and other minorities storming the Whitehouse and lighting things on fire. A bit of a violent thought, but right now I’m tempted to terrify Republicans and be that dreaded “angry dyke of color” just to make a point.

  89. In my greatest moment of panic and debilitating fear I turn to you all. As a lesbian working in the field of engineering (getting paid less than my male counterparts) I am horrified of us having a president who backs gender based workplace discrimination and is fine with taking away my right to marriage. I feel like the world I’ve tentatively become comfortable in is crumbling around me. If the Cheeto wins I have to go to work to work tomorrow and act as though everything is fine around all the overjoyed straight white men I work with. I’m not crying, you’re crying. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide until I can handle facing this new world where the country (especially Iowa) has made it clear I don’t matter. Ive had many an emotional struggle during my life but I haven’t felt this low in years. The prospect of walking around pretending everything is fine sounds like hell. Sorry I’m in a bad head space right now. Deep breaths and some sleep will maybe make this not seem like the end of days.

    Goodnight and good luck everyone.

  90. Help me, Autostraddle. I can’t stop crying. My friends can’t stop crying. I don’t have the hope or the courage to even tell my mom that the reason I can’t stop crying isn’t just that I’m a young woman of color who wanted to do something so stupid and frivolous like write novels about girls like me, but because I’m queer and I feel like the future is caving in to just this little black corridor even MORE than I was already.
    I am at a loss. My dad told me that love will win in the end. Even I told my friend that we’re gonna love and come together to survive this. But love didn’t win tonight and I don’t actually feel together. It has been a hard, bitter year for me and all I feel is heartbroken.
    I know I will make it to tomorrow. I know I will make it to the next day. But if any of you have any hope hiding under your couch cushions, I could use some. We all could, probably.

    • Yes… What Joanna said.. Think of this as a last hurrah for the hate club… or the fear club… Love, openness and inclusiveness will come back stronger than ever… because that is how it has always been… through history..

      And hope you (and everyone else) will have friends with you…

  91. I don’t have words right now to say how I am feeling, but I hope you all know that you are amazing. Stay safe and know that you always have this community to comfort you and lift you up. We can always only do this with each other normally, and especially right now.

  92. I am so sorry and I love all of you <3. I worry about your safety, and your rights, and your future. I worry about mine, because this I believe confirms a major trend in the western world, and France is having elections next year which are going to be very ugly too.

    I worry about every Black, Latinx, Muslim, Trans person in America right now. I worry about Women and I worry about lesbians and bisexual and I worry about the world :(.

    I think more and more about how shitty democracy is, and feels, and how it's a game we're forced to play, and every time I think to myself "fuck next election, i'm not voting for a "least worst" candidate", something like this happens and I get scared and I think "i need to vote for the least worst candidate".

  93. I’m grieving tonight and I’ll be fighting my brain to go to sleep probably all night. But in the morning I am going to look at my budget and see how much I can spare for a donation to Autostraddle. Because AS has been my safe place, my community, my sanity and life line since I was about 16, and almost 6 years later it has only become more of a loving safety net. I can’t imagine how much support I’ll need, we’ll all need, over the next few years; but as long as Autostraddle exists and does what it does then I will find a way to survive and hopefully heal. All of sure of is that I need to invest in our collective future. I love y’all, I need y’all.

  94. Okay, last comment before I’ll go bury myself in TV shows because I can. not. deal with this. Only 3 episodes of my Supergirl-binge left and suddenly finding a new and at least somewhat LGBTQ-friendly show to distract myself with becomes an existential issue (thinking of giving Shadowhunters a try, we’ll see)…
    I don’t even want to put into words what I really believe in my heart I would be doing right now if I lived in the US. I don’t usually feel this way but realizing I was a part of the LGBTQ community made me feel connected with the lives and struggles of faraway people in a visceral way that I have never experienced before in my life. That’s why my heart breaks for each and every one of you tonight (and of course also for many more people in your country). All I want right now is to wrap you all in my arms and keep you safe forever. But I can’t. And that makes me feel hopeless and powerless and angry. How is it possible, humanly possible, to be filled with so much hate for people who did nothing but try to live their lives like everyone else? How? Almost 8 hours into my birthday over here. I do NOT like this present. I don’t like it at all. And lastly, FUCK! YOU! COMEY!
    Goodnight everyone, please be safe, my heart and my thoughts are with you…

  95. Hey, this might be a comment to avoid if you’re not in a safe space mentally right now. My heart is just breaking and I need to share this feeling with people I know will get it.

    Earlier today, my dad shared a picture to Facebook of he and my non-binary sibling just after voting. They just turned 18 in August. This is their first election. They looked so happy, so hopeful.

    I was openly sobbing at work tonight because I am so gutted about this. I wanted to believe in the America I voted for, the America my sibling deserves. On some level, I still do, largely in part because of places like this.

    But tonight, I am just so, so tired.

  96. Dear US Straddlers,

    The Australian national broadcaster has just called the election for Trump.

    I’m so,so, sorry. Please know that I and millions like me around the world are feeling for you all. Please know that I’m sending love,courage and healing to any and all who want or needs this.

    The implications of this outcome are not only yours to lament and endure. Stay united, stay strong, we will all be fighting and standing together.

    Best Love, Diane.

  97. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to support your work through A+. I was happy (if it’s possible to be “happy” right now) to see confirmation of my monthly subscription renewal tonight. That felt like doing something in the face of all this. Autostraddle is important right now! Blessings.

    • Hi Iva, I think any of us with any sense are feeling like you. Just remember that we’re all in this together. All of us who are not like him and his supporters, will ultimately come through, we have in the past and if the worst comes to worst remember that we’ve been on the earth as long as they have and have still survived to get to where we are now.
      We have fought before and may have to again. Even though none of us want that.

      The world seems to be changing, let’s take a breath then see how we can best help each other to do the necessary. Regards, Diane.

      • Me again, I’ve just had another thought. In the past when times were against us we never had a well organised infrastructure of any sort to speak for us or rally us as a community. We had no people power or the hope of it. Now, even in countries that are actively repressive an organised community is present. We also have a really effective means of being linked to each other both nationally and internationally as well as non community members who actively support us,also nationally and internationally. We are far better off at this point in history than we have ever been before.
        Hopefully, it won’t come to be needed in any other than a supportive way but it is there and it is powerful. It’s up to us to use and build on it as and when we can do good with it. Just remember that we are not scattered individuals hiding in the dark if we don’t want to be anymore.
        We’re still here we’re still queer and the world including the scared little Trumpets will be made to come to terms with us. Never forget that we have real power, moral, monetary, and political collective power.

  98. Fuck.

    I’m at a conference in overseas right now (thought thankfully with a ton of Hillary-loving liberal scientists). Unfortunately we all decided to go to bed when Podesta told us too so now I’m alone in my hotel room kind of panicking. Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.

  99. Hahaha, I’M ANGRY AS FUCK. I’M INCANDESCENT WITH RAGE. MY FURY BURNS HOTTER THAN A MILLION SUNS AND COULD SOLVE OUR ENERGY CRISIS IN A MILLISECOND.

    Listen y’all, I’m not sure what will happen, but if nothing else, I remember and take comfort, and I hope the rest of you beloved people will too, in the fact that queer rights started with a riot. We fought and we still fight and we will keep fighting against hatred and bigotry and close-mindedness. Don’t. Give. Up. Please. I hope all of you will stay safe and *alive* Queer existence is Resistance.

    Fuck you dumptruck I refuse to be intimidated and you can shove your toupee up your ass

  100. Paraphrased from a late hour at the LALGBT center event tonight:

    “As you all are watching this, just remember: we’ve been down before. We’ve been bullied before. We are a family, and we’re going to get through this together. And this will pass; change is coming with the next generation, and there’s nothing they can do about it.”

    It’s true. And I’ve been searching for a shard of hope to hang on to tonight, and here’s what I have: Donald Trump doesn’t hate us gays. He never has; he’s just not the social conservative they tried to paint him as during the election, and legislating the lives of gays and lesbians will not be a priority for him. Also; the pendulum will swing back, and quickly. It swung from George Dubya to Obama, and now it’s swung back to this regrettable place and we’ll have four years of wondering where the fuck we actually live, and then in the next election cycle Democrats will win legit absolutely everything. It’s a historical pattern that is giving us the short end of the stick right now, but it will pass.

    I so very fucking much wanted to live in a world where Hillary was President and I could believe in everything. But here we are, and we will persevere nonetheless.

  101. I can’t fucking believe this. I know that this is a racist and misogynistic country, but I really thought that some things would be too horrible, too evil, too cruel to be acceptable. I don’t know what to do now that I see I was wrong.

    Take care of yourselves out there. The days ahead will be difficult, but we need each other so much. Thanks to all who have posted in this thread, for making me feel a little less alone on this terrible night. I don’t know how we survive what comes next, but we need each and every one of us together to have any hope. I love you all, and I am here for you.

    <3 <3 <3

    • ” I really thought that some things would be too horrible, too evil, too cruel to be acceptable. I don’t know what to do now that I see I was wrong. ”
      this. this is exactly the feeling.

  102. Ive been up all night making a mental inventory of ways my family is vulnerable. Financial, healthcare, brown skin, housing, immigration, employment, marriage status. All the contingency plans I hope to never need. I’ve lost a sister, I’ve witnessed assault and tragedy and abuse, things I thought had topped all the lists. But I think the systemic fear today is the worst thing I’ve experienced. It’s the realization of all the fears I thought i was paranoid about or over-reacting. Nope, it was always there, we were always vulnerable. And now they will be bolder, they feel vindicated.
    Sorry, this was dark.

    • Don’t sorry for this truth cher. Life isn’t always Samira, Laverne, Beyoncé and sparkly rainbows.
      Acknowledging it is not the wrong here.
      Literally as in this thread and kinda figuratively with systemic issues ya mentioned being the actual literal wrong.

  103. Thank you everyone for being here. I’m Australian but we’re part of a ripple effect from America and things have improved in society so much as a result of the people fighting hate in the US. Even in workplaces where I’ve never verbally come out (but am obviously gay), cis-het people have approached me, talking about their fav queer characters on US TV in an honest way of reaching out to me in a positive way. I want you to know how much you mean to us in other countries. The first thing I did when getting home from work was log in to Autostraddle to find some comfort from what has happened today. Sorry for the wall of text.Hugs to all of you.

  104. god above this is terrifying. NZ also follows the US in many ways, so this does not bode well for us either, but I cannot image how horrifying this must be in your own country. Full of admiration for you all for getting through this and all of my love to you <3

  105. I’m so fucking sorry for you guys! And I send all love and strength for you. I’m also really fucking scared for the whole world. Racism and nationalism are on the rise everywhere and though I’m still cautiously optimistic that this too shall pass (the millenials voted blue!) I’m afraid of more war and violence. Living next to Russia just became a bit more scary.

  106. Socialist wonk speak…

    This may not be super amazingly popular amongst all of Autostraddle but for those of us in the socialist/communist/anarchist circles, now is absolutely the time to offer a real alternative and positive vision for all Americans and the world at large. I hate the accelerationist dogma but right now it may be our best hope.

  107. Can’t sleep. Don’t want to wake up to find this wasnt a dream.
    It is 530am est.

    I have a hour drive and work at 10… And a job interview in the afternoon.. But all I want to do is crawl in a hole and cry.

  108. Still in a state of disbelief at the outcome of the election.

    I feel for all the young girls who learnt that hard work and qualifications will not beat a man

    I feel for the entire US who need to endure this upcoming presidency

    I feel for all democrats who volunteered for Hillary with such passion and conviction. Shout out to Carmen Rios, can someone please make sure she’s ok?

    I feel for every single person who learnt that hate is more powerful than love and unity, that madness is more potent than common sense and nonsense is more attractive than policies

    I feel for every single member of a minority group who is frightened for their rights and lives

    I feel for the leaders of foreign countries who need to makes deals with a Trump administration

    But I feel mostly for Hillary at the moment. She has worked for this for her entire adult life. She got beaten by a reality TV show host. She must be distraught. She lost to someone who has never served in the military or as an elected official. She got called names, endured horrific verbal assaults and she did it because she believed in a better future for all.

  109. For those of us trans brothers and sisters in the US, with the likely end of the Affordable Care Act will come higher rates of denial of HRT coverage (if HRT treatments were covered for menopause or low T they had to be covered for all reasons), and with possible religious liberty laws people will be able to deny us hospital use based on their religious conscious.

  110. Those of us from overseas are standing with those of you in America. We may not always see eye-to-eye, and there are certainly those of us outside the US who are feeling scared, angry, vulnerable, conflicted, apprehensive, just like you – but we are also human beings standing in solidarity with other human beings. This election, like the shootings at Pulse and the victory for marriage equality, sends ripples through the world – we are a community, and now, just like during those times, we need to remember that.
    We care for you, we’re here for you, and we want you to know that you will get through this. Whether you’re in the US or outside of it, take time for yourselves, stay safe and support each other.

  111. I’m so sorry to read that you’re all in pain and afraid. I’m too but I don’t live in the US so I’m not (yet) personally affected.
    Please don’t lose hope. We will fight again and again – we always did and we always will be.

    Thank you Autostraddle for being here for all of us. Thank you for an awesome community.

    <3

  112. What worries me is that this brand of right ring idiocy will come to Canada, next election. His win is already fuelling the crazies we’ve got up here who oppose things like basic human rights and decency and decorum. You can say shit about minorities and still lead a country. You can make jokes about violating women and still lead a country. You can be an inarticulate, boorish dolt who can’t string together a sentence and still lead a country.

    Or maybe, hopefully, left wingers will realize that they fucked up, and band together more than ever to make sure that this doesn’t happen in other countries, or again in the U.S. We can’t afford to be cynical.

    What went wrong? Did democrats who don’t like Hillary not show up to vote? Were lefties just too complacent, and figured that Hillary’s supporters would pick up the slack? So many questions, but I’m sure we’ll find out what went wrong with the democratic party, soon enough. In any case, we’ve underestimated the power of hatred and bigotry.

    And you can be sure as hell that when Trump doesn’t follow up on the insane promises he’s made to his troglodyte supporters, that things are going to get really bad.

  113. I hoped that I would wake up to things having changed. I am still so enormously sad and scared. I know I have a good job, but after the last economy tank–I can’t help but be terrified that’s going to disappear on me. I’m also afraid for all of my friends.

    And the fact that I’ve had to explain multiple times: voting isn’t a “I voted for this aspect not that” thing. If someone I know voted for Trump I no longer feel safe with them—this causes them to cry they aren’t a klans man! They only voted for reform! Everything Trump is is what is voted for and I am so disgusted.

  114. Last night really showed me why we still need to fight for our safe places. Autostraddle has become that much more important as a gathering place for us, especially those of us who do not have supportive communities around us.

    I love you all!

  115. I don’t understand. Went to bed confident of her win. Woke up at 6:15 a.m. to my roommate yelling, “Trump won. I’m not joking about this. Get down here. Trump won. I’m being serious!” I cried twice before going to work. Had to act like an adult while politely telling 11-year-olds who were yelling “Trump won” to get back to their classwork.

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