Happy New Year! I realize I am about a month late, but that’s okay because I did it on purpose or something.
Last New Year’s, I wrote my very first Autostraddle post ever. In honor of that occasion, I have decided to write more words than I usually do. Yes, mostly because I am sentimental, but also because there is something we need to talk about. No, we are not breaking up. I would never break up with you on Autostraddle.
Autostraddle is a sacred place, and that’s just not my style.
And that actually is what we’re here to talk about! ! There is something we all know but forget sometimes, and it’s that style extends beyond this:
To be honest, i’m not even really sure what that ^ is.
What I’m referring to is more about what’s on the inside, and how that can translate to the outside. Seamlessly. Because this isn’t about clothes.
Yes, style can refer to the length of your new dress or preferred shoe brand, but it can also be about the way you handled that embarrassing moment. Or the way rap-noise pop flows so that later on, eventually, you admit it that it’s pretty crack. Hell, maybe you really, really, really, like to clash grays. In which case I say clash grays, gays! Clash grays!
It’s all about the concept for actual. It’s satisfactual. What else can style refer to, you ask? Girl, EVERYTHING.
That sexy name you gave your car? Helping your grandma down the stairs? Don’t pretend that you don’t know by now that it’s all about style. It’s about actions speaking louder than words. It’s about who you are! Can’t afford that____ or those____? Honestly, who cares. Knowledge is stylish. Learn about fashion during the Baroque era or how to make a really good Gazpacho. These things exist and they’re just waiting to become a part of your style dialect.
So do it. Donate, don’t hate, drink in the shower, adopt a morning yoga routine. Or a dog. Know that when you enter a room, you don’t just enter a room. You queer the space.
You fight the good fight. Queers, Read This and know that the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you, and that you’re standing in the doorway.
What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll tell you what: Haters. Haters are going to happen, because haters have happened, are happening, and haters are here for the long haul. What you need to remember is that haters are blinded by hate. They do not know, like you know, that everyone has their own perspective.
Perspective is this weird thing, like bacon on a cat, that essentially causes parallel dimensions–or alternate realities–the likes of which frequent Star Trek. I’m serious here so pay attention. This can be large scale or small scale. Because I’m the style editor, let’s talk small scale: In one dimension, your yellow cravat might be the fliest thing that’s ever happened to you.
In someone else’s dimension, or “perspective”, however, it might be the most obnoxious thing to exist. The solution? There is none. Remember when Laurel Holloman said that thing about needing any kind of validation from anyone is a mistake?
Yes. Haters gonna hate. But guess what? Others are going to love! We love. In fact, I’m going on a picnic, and I’m going to bring you in that adorable yellow cravat. And if the haters say I can’t come, I say we start our own picnic.
The thing is, sometimes haters can take the form of people you know/love/trust. They will all agree that that hat is whack or that you shouldn’t be going to school to study marine forestry.
And that’s when you need to remember that piece of bacon, taped to a cat. Because you have one life to live, and it is yours, and you do not owe anybody shit.
So Happy New Year! YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME. You are a fucking perfect firework of style. My advice to you is learn what you want to learn, wear what you want to wear. Have confidence in the fact that you’re a person with your very own thoughts and the ability to make decisions. That’s all you need.
Also here are some wine colored tights ($15) from NastyGal
and some NB sneakers:
Also if you had $195 you could buy this smoking jacket. And if you had $145, you could buy this vintage dinner jacket. If you have neither, you could learn to play Clair De Lune on the piano.
Or get on this for $25:
001TrickPony has a sweet haircut so you should go be her friend or something.
Okay, I’m all out of words. Go get yourself some champagne. If you’re like me, you’ll probs need it for drinking alone on Valentine’s Day. But that’s okay because that is my style and at least in that respect I feel good about it.
[Front page featured photo of The Dandettes by Dexter R.Jones via gray37.tumblr.com]
It’s Chinese New Years today, so this is in fact perfect timing. Happy Year of the Rabbit!
And, I like those wine colored tights.
That was my first thought! We’re celebrating it in my Chinese class. Happy rabbit year! Be plentiful!
Woo, more Autostraddlers learning Chinese!
Mandarin or Canto?
so… you’re saying I can wear my doll head earmuff’s in public?
cause I’m down with that.
omg pics please
I am commenting before I finish this article to note the fantastic Going to Georgia quote-drop.
I’m only halfway through, but you’ve already quoted Das Racist and the Mountain Goats. I think I’m in love…
seriously re: the mountain goats. marry me already.
I LOVE TO CLASH GREYS.
Thank you for validating my highly specific wardrobe quirk.
I’m glad to know I’m not alone. All the clothing I buy is grey (except my shoes-always green).
I didn’t know it was possible to “clash” grays. Is that a bad thing?
it does seem like an oxymoron, doesn’t it
I like to wear brown with black, which my mom always told me “didn’t go together”
I love this.
Also I have a pair of fuschia tights that I’ve never had the guts to wear in public- maybe I’ll wear them tomorrow.
I hope you write more often.
OMG THAT BOW TIE. THE GREY ONE.
It is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for this one girl. Where can I find it?
yeah, you’re just in time for chinese new year’s. this is great, becky.
I love love love the ‘when you enter a space, you queer the space’ part. bravo!
I also loved that line. I like to actively queer every space I enter.
it might be because I had a rough day but i may or may not have teared up a little. feelings. i needed this, thanks :)
“you need to remember that piece of bacon, taped to a cat. Because you have one life to live, and it is yours, and you do not owe anybody shit.”
And laddies, (yes, I want that pronounced as lad-deez)the above is now officially my motto/mantra/official mission statement of the motherfucking year.
Great article Becky!
I’ll drink champagne on vday with you! While wearing every variation of gray.
this is the kind of inspiration that speaks. to. me.
clash grays daily! and tights+sneakers=YES.
plus I really enjoy the sentence: “You queer the space.” it’s just beautiful.
that’s fabulous that we all clash greys. it seems like AAALL i wear is grey these days. hugs all around.
No one commented on the cute little walking person!
HELLO! So cute!
This gave me lots of warm fuzzy feelings.
This made me feel really good about myself/life/pretty much everything. Thank you for being awesome!
It’s been mentioned, but I totally agree that “you don’t just enter a room. You queer the space” is also my favorite sentence.
“Haters gonna hate…And that’s when you need to remember that piece of bacon, taped to a cat. Because you have one life to live, and it is yours, and you do not owe anybody shit.”
excellent article, i want to own/wear every item of that monochromatic grey composition. also that i like, the last girl in the black blazer, spanish girl from room in rome meets tilda swinton, non ?
I love all of this. I think this is going to be one of those things I look at when life sucks because it makes me feel good inside.
I love this article to bits. Thank you for writing it.
:D :D :D
That’s pretty much all I can communicate right now.
This article was genius and Queers, Read This was A+, and the Mountain Goats song was excellent.