14 Lesbian Sexual Fantasies Submitted By Anonymous Women To 1973’s “My Secret Garden”

Feature image via shutterstock.

First published in 1973, Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden collects and acknowledges women’s anonymous sexual fantasies in a way that no one ever had before.

In the introduction, Friday writes, “What I am trying to do is to establish a more acceptable climate for fantasy, so that women who do fantasize will not feel so alone, so estranged, and will realize that there is nothing wrong with it — that in fact, for them as well as for women still unaware of their fantasies, a more conscious use of them can add an exciting new dimension to the sex act.”

While it’s now pretty understood that everyone fantasizes sometimes, the following selection from Friday’s book illustrates just how much has changed — and how much has stayed the same.

1. Gal pals.

“I think of best friends (past girl friends) and being in bed with them, just touching and caressing. That is as far as the fantasies ever go, although I would like to meet a lesbian and experiment.”

2. “All under spectacular circumstances.”

“Most of my lesbian fantasies occur during masturbation. The most common is one in which I am watching women masturbating themselves in demonstration for me. I visualize many different positions and techniques, all under spectacular circumstances.”

3. “Sometimes this imaginary person is female.”

“Most of the time I imagine someone very slowly approaching me and moving closer to me to kiss my genitals. As I imagine the person getting nearer, I become more excited, and as I imagine the kiss I have an orgasm. Sometimes this imaginary person is female.”

4. “I pretend it is her.”

“While my boy friend is making love to me I often fantasize about my best friend. […] Anyway, the fantasizing begins when my boy friend starts kissing me. I pretend it is her. She kisses me deeply and passionately. Then she gets on top of me and begins kissing my breasts and gently biting my nipples. Then I kiss her nipples and start sucking them, all the while in her arms. She tells me how much she loves me and how she wants me to love her as much. I tell her I do. Then she kisses me again.”

5. “Very often she is in a military uniform.”

“I have lesbian fantasies. Usually I think of a woman who is physically similar to a man, meaning that she is heavily built but still feminine, tender, loving (motherly sometimes), compassionate. Very often she is in a military uniform. She isn’t beautiful, just attractive. She is assertive but open-minded, fun to be with, likes music, sports, clothes, and animals. She is well-off but not rich, thrifty but not miserly. We usually masturbate, kiss (on the mouth), sleep in each other’s arms (she holds me mostly). I feel secure with her.”

6. This one is just very very specific.

“My ‘fantasy lover’ is always with me day and night, and I find her very exciting. She is a ‘masculine’-looking woman dressed in ‘drag’ (men’s dress). She is very sweet and she takes me out every Saturday and Sunday evening. She works in the Ambulance Services as a driver (senior). When we go to bed she is very gentler and understanding and a great lover — much better than a man. I would never exchange her for a man. Every time we have sex it is more exciting than the last time, and we manage to make love often (about twelve times her night — when I feel hot). Each action is short, fast, but satisfying. Of course, this is just a fantasy or daydream, but the woman exists; however not in my life (lucky devil who has her). I have only seen her in passing. I have been holding the ‘torch’ for her for nearly six years now.”

7. “Sentenced to twelve strokes of the cane.”

“I imagine that I am one of the senior girls, aged about eighteen, caught smoking and sentenced to twelve strokes of the cane. We stand outside the door of the secretary’s room and listen to the sounds of the caning going on inside. Then it is my turn. I go in, get out of my gym tunic, and stand there feeling tense in my tight knickers. The secretary points to the flogging block, says Bend over, girl, and I get across it, ready for my thrashing with the cane on my knickers. While I am pretending that I am getting caned, I masturbate.”

8. “I had slight lesbian tendencies before going into the convent…”

“I had slight lesbian tendencies before going into the convent, but then they enlarged. I masturbated frequently before I went there, but this increased enormously. I just had to get relief somehow. Fortunately, I grew fond of a novice older than myself and secretly we masturbated together quite often. Then it was that I started having fantasies. I would grow fond of a nun, and while playing with myself I would think of her. I would imagine that it was her fingers that titillated my clitoris. I would try hard to imagine her standing by the bedside stark naked with hairs on her pubic region. I also tried to think of her being played with by another nun. This brought me to a climax speedily.”

9. “To be completely seduced by a dominant woman.”

“I have sometimes wondered what it would be like to pick up a girl all on my own somewhere and seduce her, or to be completely seduced by a dominant woman, especially as my own experience so far has been as the initiator. […] I’ll go over this scene again and again, imagining how that first girl really was with me, the things I might have tried had I only known. If I like I can even imagine that my finger is her tongue.”

10. “I am merely passive and just lie there.”

“In my lesbian fantasies, I can never put an identity to my partner. She is no one I know and has no face or personality. In my dreams she is just a female body who takes most of the initiative, while I am merely passive and just lie there as she makes love to me.”

11. “I hardly remember it, but…”

“Once I had a lesbian fantasy. I hardly remember it, but it was with my very closest friend. I was the aggressor. It was a beautiful experience.”

12. “I had a young, pretty female teacher.”

“I had a young, pretty female teacher on whom I guess I had a crush. […] I dreamed that we would undress each other, and she would hold me in her arms. Then I would kiss her breasts and suck on her nipples as though I were a baby. Other times, I would fantasize about taking a bath or shower with her, and I would have thoughts about washing and drying her entire body.”

13. “The breasts were very important for excitation.”

“I have occasionally fantasized about two of my friends, both of whom have very womanly figures. […] I would imagine myself as a man making love to one of these women. The breasts were very important for excitation.”

14. “Wow.”

“When I see a girl naked, I usually get excited. Then I think, wow.”

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. #14 forever

    The rest make me realize I am a terribly lazy fantasist who relies mostly on Lelo and Crashpad, is that bad? Or was it just that in the seventies you had to make your own fun?

  2. Number 6 – “. I have been holding the ‘torch’ for her for nearly six years now.” –

    Holy sh**, can I just say this broke my heart? I hope this lady ended up with that lovely Ambulance driver.

  3. Oh man, I relate to number 10 though. I know it’s silly, but I used to feel bad about that because I wasn’t “giving back”, even inside my own head.

  4. #8!!!!! ahhhh!

    I’ve often thought about what would have happened to me if I was born decades earlier and this feels pretty spot on.

  5. All of this is correct. I was the young cute teacher back in the day, stiletto heels and skirt barely below my knees. I was 22 and barely older than some of the students. An older teacher, named Mrs. Steed, took me under her wing, and we became rather close. She confided in me of her fantasy for the younger teacher, even she’s been married for decades. I gave in to her interests for a couple of weeks, then we realized that this can’t go on forever. I felt rather frustrated and used by Mrs. Steed, but in reality understood and agreed. I had borrowed some of her clothes and shoes, which I refused to give back. I wore the clothes off and on the rest of the school year just so she could see me in them. I even wore her favorite shorts, t-shirt and sneakers during in service days. But the funniest part was watching Mrs. Steed suffer through Halloween and April Fool’s Day. She was helpless to my sabotage of her big Ford station wagon. Giggle. I was still a kid. lol Debbie

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