10 Thoughts on Classic Lesbian Movie D.E.B.S After Seeing It For the First Time Yesterday

co-written by Rachel and Yvonne

1. Jordana Brewster’s eyebrows

jordanna-debs

2. Early 2000’s makeup was not great

For people’s faces. Generally. But it WAS great if you were a compact of baby blue eyeshadow or a lipgloss.

eyeballs

3. It’s normal to come close to crying while watching this, right?

They’re just so cute! And they don’t die??? Not even one of them!

debs

4. Where is Bobby getting all these bracelets?

soft-pretzel

Did he already have the puka shell necklace on deck for Amy even before he dropped his dad’s FBI bracelet (why would the FBI give anyone a bracelet???) in Lucy’s soup? Or is he going to the bracelet store for these? What’s the story.

5. For a brief moment at the beginning it seemed like Max might be the main character, which would have been a very different movie

max

It still be a great movie. Maybe a little more like that Saoirse Ronan movie Hanna. Pretty bloody. Bobby wouldn’t make it, for instance. But maybe at the end Max just gets to move to an isolated seaside cabin where she can raise goats and live peacefully.

6. For someone who got a “perfect score” based on her ability to lie, Amy is not a very good liar!!!

debs-test-2

When Max catches her and Janet coming back from their surprise double date, Amy’s best excuse is “I was sad about Bobby and had to take a walk?” And she what, brought Janet? It’s not believable that anyone would bring Janet anywhere on purpose.

7. Janet is Ginger Spice, Max is Scary Spice, Dominique is Posh Spice, Amy is Sporty Spice, and Lucy is also Sporty Spice. I don’t think anyone is Baby Spice.

debs

Maybe it’s Amy, actually. I think you could make a case that Amy is Baby Spice. Please discuss.

8. What conditioner does Jordana Brewster use? Or is it like a heat styling serum? How is it so shiny?

shiny-hair

“That’s some Garnier Fructis hair.” — Lauren Taylor Klein

9. Would you be willing to let Meagan Good shoot at you with a gun IF before doing so she also strutted towards you wearing a plaid skirt. Explain your answer.

megangood

10. The Jodie Foster Reference!!!!!!

DEBS, Holland Taylor, Meagan Good, 2004, (c) Samuel Goldwyn

“Amy, I think you identify with Lucy Diamond. I think she sees your pathos. You’ve got some dangerous union symbiosis going on — What’s that movie with Jodie? And the little dog falls in the well with the lotion?”

BONUS: Which of these sourced-from-Livejournal D.E.B.S icons should Rachel start using as her profile picture on Slack?

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1129 articles for us.

123 Comments

  1. This was the first film I ever watched as a baby gay, and so became my standard for all gay media. If it doesn’t have tiny plaid skirts, Jordana Brewster and a musical montage then what’s the point?

  2. This is the best movie I’ve ever seen and I watch it at least twice a year. The first time I saw it was with the GSA at my high school; about ten minutes in we started playing a drinking game (with soda) where we drank every time there was incongruously implausible high tech paired with something very low tech. We ended up infinitely grateful we were only drinking soda because we probably would have ended up with alcohol poisoning otherwise :P

    Also re: 5 – I would totally watch that movie. And re: 9, I would not be willing because although the sight would be glorious, I am 98% sure she would not miss and those are not odds I want to play with.

  3. This movie is great even after watching it the 100th time. You can still find some little new details like the license plate of Lucys car that says “ndasky” wich is a hint to the song “Lucy in the Sky” by The Beatles.

    And I really love the dialog where Amy and Lucy talk about what kind of job Lucy would have taken if she had not been a super villain and she answers “I wanted to be a pirate”. She looks like a puppy.

    Maybe an interesting fact is that there was a shortfilm in 2003 that was kind of the first try of D.E.B.S.
    here is a link http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0337953/?ref_=nv_sr_2
    but thank god that they changed the cast between the 2003 and 2004 movie!

  4. I’ve never seen this movie, but dangit now I want to. Also:

    9. Would you be willing to let Meagan Good shoot at you with a gun IF before doing so she also strutted towards you wearing a plaid skirt. Explain your answer.

    Answer: *mesmerized* Gun? What gun? *dead*

  5. My friend and I have a drinking game to this movie. We used to watch it about once every two months because it was the best thing ever. The rules are pretty simple:

    1. Any time there’s a ridiculous spy gadget
    2. Any time you realize they are really bad spies
    3. Any time you are so turned on by Lucy Diamond, you can’t do anything but drink (like the whole bar scene)

    GLBTQ+ and straights all love rule 3. Lucy Diamond should be its own sexuality.

    • I’m gonna get up on my Lesbian Soapbox for a second and tell you every movie, even the awful ones, even the ‘so bad their good again’ B-movies have something of value to offer, dig for the gold dust, it’s in there.

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