Also.Also.Also: 1 in 3 Cisgender Bisexuals Are Not Out to Their Coworkers, So 👀

Lots of heavy news in today’s round up. Take care of yourself out there.

Queer as in F*ck You

Over Half of LGBTQ+ Americans Are Bisexual. Many Don’t Feel Safe Being Out at Work. “Despite how common bisexuality is, many bisexual people do not feel safe to be out to anyone at work. About 1 in 3 cisgender bisexual people are not out to any of their coworkers, the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law found in a new report.” Bi Awareness Week may be over, but it’s always worthwhile to to remember why Bi Awareness Week exists in the first place. Just saying.

Ok so as many of you know, I’ve only recently started to seriously follow the WNBA, and I know even less about women’s college basketball. But! I do know this! When Brittney Griner played for Baylor, she brought them a perfect 40-0 record, including multiple Final Four runs and a national championship. In return, her coach at Baylor, Kim Mulkey, told her to keep her sexuality a secret. Now more than a decade later, BG is being unfairly held in a Russian prison and Kim Mulkey can’t even be bothered to offer up a prayer or good word for her safety. So! Kim Mulkey’s Silence on Brittney Griner Is Petty, Pathetic, and Gross

‘They Are Not Happy With How We Love Each Other’: In Italy, Gay Parents Fear a Meloni Victory

Turkey: Anti-LGBTQ Display Reflects Nation’s Political Shift

Students Stage Walkouts Across Virginia Over Governor’s Transgender School Policies

Montana Accepting Transgender Birth Certificate Changes. “A judge threatened to hold the state in contempt if its health department continued to block trans people from changing the sex on their birth certificates.”

Saw This, Thought of You

And you can read more about Toni Morrison’s advocacy against censorship, right here.

Your must read of the night! How to Hit Back: The Desperate, Confused, Righteous Campaign to Stop Asian Hate. From the author, Esther Wang, “I spent the spring and summer of this year attempting to figure out where the movement to #StopAsianHate is taking us.”

The 250 Best Songs of the 1990s. I very deeply agree with #3 and #1.

Political Snacks

Women Across Iran Are Protesting the ‘Morality Police,’ “Protests in Iran over the death of Mahsa Amini, a 22-year-old woman who died in the custody of the country’s “morality police,” have become increasingly violent since they began 11 days ago, with videos showing police beating protesters — many of whom are women — with batons and spraying tear gas and bullets into the crowd.” I know, I know there is so much happening in the world, and it can feel overwhelming, but please keep an eye on what’s happening in the Iran.

(this headline is so reductive it caused me physical pain) Same-Sex Marriage Is Finally Legal in Communist Cuba, but I’m including it because it’s the headline that I think most people saw over the weekend about Cuba’s newly passed family law.

Nico also found this one: Cubans Just Ratified the World’s Most Progressive Family Code which I think really gets more into what makes the law really unique, including that under the new law, full time carers of children in the home now have labor rights, which is HUGE. And also the law doesn’t stop at recognizing same-sex marriage, it also recognizes a whole variety of extended family structures beyond the nuclear family.There is a lot happening here! And it’s really hard to find any non-biased sources about Cuba from within the United States, so if any of our international readers see something they enjoyed please drop it in the comments. Nico and I both send our thanks!

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Carmen Phillips

Carmen is Autostraddle's Editor-in-Chief and a Black Puerto Rican femme/inist writer. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. There were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. You can find her on twitter, @carmencitaloves.

Carmen has written 712 articles for us.


  1. I agree on the importance of bi visibility in the workplace but a thing I’d point out is that the main ways sexuality comes up at work are either mentioning a partner or (more rarely!) dating a colleague. I was a single bi person for a really long time, and I wasn’t out at work, but it wasn’t out of fear of reaction, it was because it just didn’t come up? I date a woman now and no one has ever asked me the details of my orientation. I have no idea if my colleagues think I’m a lesbian or bi and it would be fucking weird to ask – they just know I have a girlfriend. It came up a bit more when I was in a workplace in my early 20s with other people my age and we were going out doing stuff together etc, but I wasn’t out to any of my older or less sociable colleagues for no reason other than it’s really weird to bring up your sexuality out of nowhere and there aren’t many ways that discussing your specific sexuality label comes up organically. I don’t know what the future of bisexual visibility in the workplace is beyond things like bi visibility in LGBTQ staff networks in larger workplaces? If anyone has any suggestions I would really love to hear them!

    • for Christmas two years ago, my friend got me this gorgeous mug (I think the small company that makes them was primarily on etsy at the time), and ever since then it’s been my work mug. when I had a desk job, I also kept a small bi pride flag in my pen-holder

      the mug:

      one thing that is fun and nice about being out at work is lots of the other lgbtq+ staff, even if they don’t really discuss it with their colleagues usually, will come out to you, and then all of the sudden you know so many other gays at your work 😍 (obviously depending on the general culture of you workplace / where you live, one’s mileage may vary on that front)

    • I had a similar experience at my previous job – I worked somewhere for 10+ years and never bothered to come out. I think bi-erasure is a big reason for bi+ people not being out at work. It’s a lot of work.

      I’m much more out at my current job and it feels better. It’s still a little awkward. But here some of the subtle ways I’ve come out / attempted to come out.

      Pride stuff. I will wear pride pins, including a bi-pride pin, at work and I have a little photo collage on my desk that includes a picture of me with a giant bi pride flag from a bi-meetup at Pride one year. Most straight people don’t recognize the bi pride flag so it’s mostly a way of finding other queer people, but it helps me feel less invisible.

      Talking about queer stuff in my life – volunteering with a LGBTQ+ group, going to a queer book group, etc.

      A couple times when I’m talking about why I volunteer with queer groups I’ll say that it’s important to me to give back to my community and to find community, especially since most people tend to assume I’m straight because I’m married to my husband.

      When someone else mentions LGBTQ+ stuff in conversation I sometimes will say, “oh, this awkward because I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but I’m bi and — ” I did this just recently while talking with my boss’ boss and she looked at me and said “Me too!” It was the best!

    • Maybe I have a skewed perception because I’ve never identified as a lesbian so never said “I’m gay,” but to me, “I’m gay” and “I’m bi” could potentially get different reactions. During the same sex marriage campaign in the US, there was a massive effort to desexualize gayness in the mainstream consciousness, to make being gay and being straight be seen to equally be about “love.” Bisexual is the only identity in LGBT that has “sexual” literally in it.

      A lot of people still think of open bi-ness as something that’s unprofessional or inappropriate for the workplace, even people who no longer think of being gay that way. I also hate coming out, even though I have zero ambivalence about identifying as bi and it’s very politically important to me. Is it about the coming out itself, or is it about having to say the word “bisexual?” Do I want my bi+ community to have all its diversity and radicalism stuffed back in the closet if that’s the price of being acceptable to straight people? I don’t know.

        • Such good points. Especially about bi being seen as unprofessional.

          My work lanyard is bi flag colours, which at least signals my bi-ness to LGBT+ colleagues.

          I try to be really visibly bi at work in general (LGBT+ Network, work intranet etc) but it can feel pretty unrewarding.

  2. Thanks so much for including Esther Wang’s crucial coverage and analysis of the Stop Asian Hate movement! It is really frustrating to contend with reactionary, pro-cop sentiments in Asian American communities, but I was glad to read about alternative, mutual aid efforts in Chinatown.

    I’d like to add that this past Friday, Asia Society, an arts/culture organization in NYC, hosted Philippine president Bongbong Marcos (son of dictator Ferdinand Marcos Sr.) as a guest speaker. They then called the cops on Filipinx activists who protested Asia Society’s platforming of a /literal/ dynastic fascist. Three were arrested, then released the next day thanks to the swift mobilization of jail support and bail funds. We desperately need the Stop Asian Hate crowd to understand: Cops cannot keep us safe. In fact, they are the first to abuse and detain us on behalf of the literal dictators we fled when we came here. We keep us safe.

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