Faking It Episode 104 Recap: You’re A Karmasexual

Welcome to the fourth recap of the first season of Faking It, a musical variety hour from the network that brought you Is She Really Going Out With Him? and Totally Pauly.


We open in the outdoor arena of adolescent desire commonly known as “high school” where Karma’s leaving Amy yet another voice mail regarding the fact that Amy hasn’t spoken to her in 12 hours which is longer than that time Amy’s tonsils were removed from her skull by a man with sharp instruments.

Who the fuck am I supposed to talk to about Solange???!

Like, don’t you think it’s weird that Jay-Z and Solange went jewelry shopping together and the store was called MR. FLAWLESS!?

Karma says she’s in physical pain without Amy, which isn’t hard to believe because it’s the same way I feel during all the scenes that are not Amy’s. Also, Karma hates Liam now and Amy was totally right SO THERE. Then Karma spies the goblin himself and hides…

Ugh why is Liam buying meth from MY dealer

Ugh why is Liam buying weed from MY dealer

…just in time to spy an even more disturbing threat: KARMA’S ADORABLE HIPPIE PARENTS. HAVE COME TO SCHOOL. IN A GIGANTIC HOMOSEXUAL TRUCK CALLED “GOOD KARMA.”

See, it's not tiny pineapple, I promise! It's a full-sized pineapple. We'd never hurt tiny pineapple!

See, it’s not tiny pineapple, I promise! It’s a full-sized pineapple. We’d never hurt tiny pineapple!

I hate pineapple

Parents are the worst.


Elsewhere on this lush campus, Amy is ignoring her voicemails.

What is this strange device

What is this strange device and why does it keep talking to me

Then, our dearest tender adorable Oliver approaches to delight her with an origami paper crane he just made because he’s Intern Grace’s Personal Hero and we all wish he was a gay woman instead of a straight man.

Oliver: “Dorky fact, I’m learning the captivating art of Japanese Origami.”

Hello, this is the latest but certainly not the last adorable thing I will do for you

If you flap its wings three times fast it turns into a real bird and then we can fly away to a magical island and eat sundaes and frosting out of the can forevermore!

Amy’s distracted, however, when she spies Shane across the quad, and thus she takes Oliver’s lovely paper craft with her as she rushes over to Shane across the quad.

Amy: “I need you to help me find a girlfriend. I think.”
Shane: “Amy. You already have a girlfriend. If these people find out you are FAKING IT they will lynch you and not even notice the irony.”
Amy: “Well, I’m not faking it and that’s the problem!”

I have it Shane. I have the magical bird. It's time! It's time to leave all of these straight people behind us and visit the Isle of Capri!

I have it Shane. I have the magical bird. It’s time! It’s time to leave all of these straight people behind us and visit the Isle of Capri!

Amy’s convinced that her feelings about Karma and her non-feelings for Oliver certify her a Grade-A lesbian, but Shane’s not ready to bust out the label-maker just yet. Regardless, Amy’s looking to sign up for The Only Getting Over Someone Strategy That Works Every Time: FINDING SOMEONE ELSE.

Amy: “If I find a real girlfriend then my fake girlfriend can go back to being my best friend.”
Shane: “That’s what this is about?”
Amy: “These feelings are killing me. Yesterday I blew up at her because I was jealous of Liam. Who does that? Trashy women on reality TV, that’s who. Help me.”
Shane: “I’m going to agree, both because I can see you’re in pain and because I’m dying to see how this plays out.”

Is thinking about Jamba Juice

Is thinking about going to Yogurtland later


Over at Good Karma’s Pink Truck Of Love And Pineapple-Kale Chakra, Karma’s adorable hippie parents are peddling smoothies, and Karma would like them to please drive their truck elsewhere like perhaps a music festival inevitably going on somewhere in Austin, because it’s Austin.

caption

I told you one thousand times I’m running away to Los Angeles to be a Truck Stop Girl and date Whitney Mixter and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!

caption

Oh sweetie you’re not going anywhere near that girl, that’s why we stole your truck

Luckily for us, her parents have created a delightful full-size poster of Karma dressed like a Kale Leaf, which is even gayer than having a fake girlfriend or driving a big gay truck.

Karma eventually consents to this invasion of her property when her parents admit they’re a little short on cash this month and selling smoothies to her classmates is their only hope. Then, Karma’s direct passageway from truck to schoolhouse is interrupted by Liam, who wants Karma to know how much he loved that song that broke my heart. Karma wants to tell Liam, “now you’ve told me, you can die happy,” and then stomp away. So she does.

Hey, wanna go smoke drugs with me under the bleachers?

Hey you, wanna go smoke drugs with me under the bleachers?

Molly assures Liam that Karma didn’t mean that, she’s just snippy ’cause of dyke drama.

caption

Maybe if you could dial back the douchenozzle just a wee tad, the entire lesbian internet wouldn’t secretly want to run you over in my kale pineapple truck

Molly: “You are in dire need of a dragon shot on the house, and it comes with a free hug.”
Liam: “Wow! Thanks.”

Molly notices that Liam seems a bit uncomfortable in her loving embrace, and laments his admission that he doesn’t come from a family of huggers. “Oh you poor thing, just relax and enjoy,” says Molly, as Liam’s shellacked hair situation undoubtedly slowly eats away at the tender fabric of her shirt, which was hand-woven by bunnies.

So this is what patchouli smells like

So this is what patchouli smells like


Meanwhile elsewhere on this pristine campus, Lauren & The Ls are modeling several different interpretations of Springtime In Texas and dealing with Lauren’s misguided belief that her sockless boyfriend probably distributed the racy topless (but not bra-less) photo she sexted him last night.

Don't look right now but I'm pretty sure my ex-girlfriend

Don’t look right now but I’m pretty sure my ex-girlfriend Alison DiLaurentis is right over there

“You should’ve used Snapchat,” says Lisbeth. Then Lauren spots her sockless boyfriend showing off a pic to his bros and storms on over to chew his face out only to discover he’s merely sharing a charming photograph of a kitten with a crown drawn on it.

Get it? It's Ellen Page, but dressed up like kale!!!

Get it? It’s Ellen Page but dressed up like kale!!!

She’s obvs insulted to learn that he deleted her sexy photo immediately.


Cut to Twain, which Shane describes as a “lesbian coffee shop by day, gay bar by night, and there the twain shall meet.” WHERE IS THIS PLACE TAKE ME THERE.

omg girls

omg girls

Shane’s gotta know what Amy’s “flavor” is, so he lays it all out to her with all the wisdom of a person who is not actually a gay lady.

A) Lipsticks

hehehe revlon hahahaha bonnie bell lol

And then I was like, yeah bitch, I WAS there, maybe you just didn’t see me because of femme invisibility

B) Sporties

Uh no, Britney Griner already HAS a girlfriend, thank you very much

Uh no, Britney Griner already HAS a girlfriend, betch

C) Kristen Stewart Groupies

whatever

whatevs

D) Classic Butch

HAHAHA LET'S GO KILL SOME MEN

HAHAHA LET’S GO KILL SOME MEN

It’s funny how they’re all hanging out with only each other. C’mon, show, surely you’re aware that all the stereotypes like to hang out with each other. We are not socially segregated.  Anyhow, Amy’s unable to pick a favorite stereotype, though she spots a nice belt she likes.

Shane: “Who makes your no-no place say YES YES?”
Amy: “That’s the problem, I didn’t have those feelings for Karma until we kissed.”

Really the only thing that matters to me is whether or not she can handle one finger in the front and another in the butthole at the same time

Really the only thing that matters to me is whether or not she can handle one finger in the front and another in the butthole at the same time

Amy ‘s got no choice but to plow forward: She downs a shot of espresso and heads out into the wilderness, boldly declaring, “Well, I guess I have to start kissing some lesbians.” Props to Amy for having one shot of espresso in a situation I usually faced with some uppers and a vitamin water bottle filled with vodka.


Back at Good Karma’s Pink Truck Of Love And Pineapple-Kale Chakra, Dad is doing massages while Molly’s letting the children know all about Gaia, mother earth, who blesses us always with her loving embrace.

Seriously kids should be lined up around the block for massages this cheap

Seriously kids should be lined up around the block for massages this cheap

Karma shows up, ready to proudly declare that these hippie yahoos are her actual parents! Everybody claps like happy seals in a pool of fun and laughter!

Just tell me if there's any pubic hair in my teeth please

Just tell me if there’s any pubic hair in my teeth please

Then Karma even volunteers to hand out samples in the kale suit, but Molly doesn’t need Karma to wear the kale suit ’cause Liam’s already wearing the kale suit. Kale suits are the new animal onesies.

Now the lesbians will HAVE to like me, I'm COVERED IN KALE

Now the lesbians will HAVE to like me, I’m COVERED IN KALE

Karma frantically texts Amy to please call her, but obvs Amy’s not gonna call her, she’s super busy doing weird things with her eyeballs at a lesbian coffeeshop called Twat: The Night I MEAN TWAIN.

Was hoping for a "k-k-kinda busy"

Was hoping for a “k-k-kinda busy”


Back at Twain: The Night, Amy’s waving enthusiastically at a cute blonde, who waves enthusiastically back until Amy starts fake-licking her lips and the girl is like, you are weird and nobody does this in real life.

Haaaaiiii

Haaaaiiii

HIIII!!!!

HIIII!!!!

mmrmrhrmmm

mmrmrhrmmm

????

????

Undeterred, Amy slides in across the table from a dashing lezzer in cute glasses:

Amy: “Hey, what are you studying?”
Cute Girl In Glasses: “Anatomy.”
Amy: “That could really come in handy one day.”
Cute Girl In Glasses: “Hopefully, I really wanna go to med school.”

Omg you watch Warehouse 13? SO DO I!

What do you mean I only need to wear one t-shirt at a time?

Amy: “Why bother when we can play doctor right now.”
Cute Girl in Glasses: “You’re joking… right?”

caption

Ugh, who likes “27 Dresses” more than “The Craft”???

Amy, in a panic, gets up and dashes across the room, accidentally colliding with a hot tough-looking chick who is legitimately down for a hot rod ride:

Amy: “Do you wanna get out of here?”
Hot Girl: “Yeah.”
Amy: “You do?”
Hot Girl: “Oh yeah, let’s go to my car.”

Okay you had me at "butt play" but you lost me at "butt plug"

Okay you had me at “butt play” but you lost me at “butt plug”

Amy then immediately freaks out, says “I have a girlfriend!” and beelines for Shane, who’s chatting with the bartender ’cause watching Amy’s floundering attempts at macking have sent him into a depressive spiral. He gives her an evaluation:

Shane: “You were lewd and aggressive and overly sexual. That works for gay guys but lesbians don’t just wanna hook up, you know they wanna bond and they wanna nest and they wanna fall in love and let themselves go.”
Amy: “Sounds amazing. How do we make this happen?”

Good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called SYZZR. UGH PERFECT.

Named after Adele and Emma's favorite position!

Named after Adele and Emma’s favorite position!

(PSA FOR ANY BABY DYKES READING THIS: That’s not true. There are many lesbians who just wanna hook up and there are also many gay guys who just wanna settle down.) (But also um, I believe that it is actually true that women are more nesty in general, so obvs when you get the man out of the picture, the potential for premature nesting skyrockets.)


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Riese is the 33-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1762 articles for us.

52 Comments

  1. Thumb up 16

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    1. As a QWOC also named Jasmine I know which ship-train I’m jumping on if Karma wants to be blissfully oblivious (I feel like it’s not even obliviousness I think she’s just too self-centred for her own good?)

    2. Shane, Amy and Oliver could have a beautiful friendship type thing because Oliver seems nice/like he’d a be good friend if he refrains from jumping Amy’s bones, tryna get her digittssss.

    3. Does Shane’s actually really helpful fashion advice give a new meaning to ‘you’re looking very Shane today?’ or are we sticking with the old saying?

    AND P.S THE SHOW’S CREATOR SAID THAT KARMA IS STRAIGHT “for now” #IBELIEVE

    • Thumb up 13

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      re: 1. I was SO super into the Jasmine possibility, and I am going to be really disappointed if this is her last appearance on the show and I also fear that it is. Like I’ve already imagined their entire relationship and it was really cute and perfect. What if in the finale, Karma rejects Amy, and then Amy calls someone but we don’t know who, and then we cut to Amy opening the door and Jasmine is there and then next season they are cute girlfriends in a pillow fort watching the goonies. What then.

      re: 2. I would very much like Oliver to be Amy’s lesbro.

      re: 3. Yes.

      • Thumb up 12

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        Honestly my ideal situation is for Amy and Jasmine to date and then it ends up being like ‘YASSSS Karma you never knew what you had until you lost it’ and then hopefully it leads to some highly watchable angst /or/ Amy and Jasmine just ride off into the sunset on their tricked out vespa, everyone is happy and we get to see Amy and Karma being cute friends in any capacity again.

        • Thumb up 4

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          Jumping onto the Jasmine bandwagon here! Definitely hoping this isn’t Jasmine’s last appearance, I’m all for those two getting together and having sweet lesbian romances and adopting lots of cats together. Maybe that’s a little too soon, but I’m down for at least a second date?

        • Thumb up 6

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          Omigod, if Karma has supreme angst and regret watching Amy and Jasmine ride off in the sunset together, this show would be pure perfection for me.

  2. Thumb up 9

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    I love this show with every fiber of my being and I love reading your recaps because it reminds me that these quotes aren’t just Riese writing witty banter, IT’S THE ACTUAL DIALOGUE OF THE SHOW.

    Help I’ve fallen and I can’t stop karmy

  3. Thumb up 17

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    Also, I thought that Karma was dressed up as a sprig (bud?) of marijuana in that picture in her parents’ van, but alas, no.

    And I’m DEEPLY offended that Liam is trying to manipulate solid metal without heating it first. I get that you’re angry, dude, but it’s just common sense.

    They really need to make Karma more likable. Super fast. Maybe next week will be a good time for it, since it seems like she’ll be spending a lot of the episode with Amy and not with Liam. But until then I’m hoping Amy calls Jasmine back. SHE HAS A VESPA AND A LEATHER JACKET.

  4. Thumb up 17

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    This show makes me want to jump off a cliff from feelings, but I love it so much.

    Also I like Karma? Or at least, I don’t dislike her. Yes, her Liam obsession is annoying and she’s self-centered and kind of an idiot, but she also clearly really loves Amy. (Maybe just in a platonic way, but she loves her.) And she’s 15. Because I’m an adult who regularly watches shows about teenagers, I sometimes have to remind myself that teenagers can be really obnoxious.

    • Thumb up 8

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      Oh wow, she’s only supposed to be 15? I’ve seen every episode four times but somehow missed that, ha. It’s so confusing because the actors are so much older, it’s hard to remember that their characters are still kids, really.

      • Thumb up 3

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        Yup. I think its in the scene when Karma and Amy are fighting by the lockers, Karma says something like, “I’m a 15-year-old girl, I’m supposed to like the hottest guy in school.” (But thankfully the actresses are both in their early 20s.)

      • Thumb up 7

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        In the third episode, Amy says, “You don’t get someone to fall in love with you; they fall in love with you because of who you are,” and Karma says, “Yeah, well, I’ve been me for 15 years and no one’s fallen for me. Except for you!”

        • Thumb up 0

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          That’s it. I knew she said “15” at some point, just couldn’t remember exactly when. (I’m more than twice her age, my memory is going.)

  5. Thumb up 11

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    I only have a couple thoughts beyond thank you Riese for the hilarity/photo captions:

    1. Anatomy girl from the coffee shop totally made me think of Rachael Leigh Cook in She’s All That.

    2. I kinda love how many AS articles are applicable to the issues of this show and that you link to them. I mean that has to be a measure of some success on their part of hitting some right notes.

    3. People posting huffington post articles not AS: GASP!! I’m clutching pearls over here!

  6. Thumb up 25

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    Wait but what if *plot twist* Olly is a trans girl who hasn’t come out/figured it out yet and then she and Amy could both go to college together and than she could come out to Amy one night and it would be touching and sweet and I’d feel all the feelings and then they could become best lesbian friends forever!

    Is it to early in this show to have well-developed trans head cannons for minor characters?

    No wait, I’ll answer my own question; it’s NEVER too early.

    • Thumb up 14

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      if it’s too early then it was too early for us to have a conversation about EXACTLY THAT IDEA like five hours ago in our virtual officechat, so in other words no it’s def not too early

      • Thumb up 23

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        I’m SO GLAD I’m not the only one! Cause last episode Olly said this thing:

        “I watch students in their natural habitat because I don’t understand them even though I’m supposed to be one.”

        And I was like . . . Girl, I see you.

  7. Thumb up 14

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    I was way more invested in Jasmine than I should have been, she was perrrrfeeect. (I ship it)

    Did anyone think the LIAM SMASH WITH HAMMER was him in 100% Neanderthal mode? It always irks me when irritated/angry men are presented in that way, needing to let things out through weirdly aggressive physical activities… I guess the scene wouldn’t have the same effect if he went off and started composing poetry.

    Also, I want to second the baby dyke PSA; I got so used to nesty types I was legitimately confused when I met my first casual-type lesbian date… she had blue hair like Lea Seydoux and now I can’t unsee blue hair as a trait for commitment issues. It’s a problem, you guys.

    Also also, I didn’t realise Kristen Stewart groupies was a thing, where can I find my people?

  8. Thumb up 7

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    As the show goes along all I keep thinking is “God Amy is perfect.” I have no idea why I am so attached to her (yeah I do) but damn. I may or may not casually ship Amy and Jasmine now. And the question of the century is WHERE IS IVY?

  9. Thumb up 11

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    You write these lines like “Who makes your no-no place say YES YES?” and I think that you made that up to approximate the idea of what the characters said in a humorous way and then I watch the show and no, that is actually what they said.

  10. Thumb up 5

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    TBH, this episode really disappointed me. It appears they use the old trope “she’s only gay for her” for Amy, that she’s not into girls, she’s merely “Karma-sexual”. Which is really disheartening, because it encourages damaging myths about female same-sex sexuality – like desexualization, that it’s all about romantic feelings (notice Shane’s speech), that it’s person-focused (we women can’t feel lust toward other women, we must always be attracted to their personality, and all the rest is accessory), that it’s “fluid” and never exclusive. Those “accidental” mentions about Amy crushing on some lifeguard, who given the context was probably male, weren’t accidental at all.

    Rita Volk said in some interview that she will be really disappointed if Amy doesn’t end up gay (she said that in response to Covington’s words that he doesn’t know where Amy’s path would lead). Which, especially considering last episode, gives away that it will be open to interpretation at the end of the season. That she only has feelings for Karma, and that’s it. So in next season they can just make her end up with a guy and not even explain anything, since when it comes to girls she only ever had feelings for Karma.

    I said before I would be disappointed if she doesn’t turn out to be lesbian as well (because of very small representation of actual lesbian characters in TV, and because of all that show’s tease which suggested until last episode that she’s gay), but it seems it can be even worse, perpetuation of damaging myths about female s/s attraction in general, not only about lesbians.

    And of course, apart of that it seems they already try to make the d-bag who wants to turn lesbian more likeable without ever calling him out on anything. And apparently it works. “Alright, I’ll give it to Liam. He isn’t as douchey as we thought he was. Good move”. Tweet further promoted by show’s official Twitter account.

    • Thumb up 10

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      I didn’t think the “Karma-sexual” comment was meant to imply that Amy is only “gay for Karma.” Shane says that after Amy says she doesn’t want another girl, or another boy. She only wants Karma. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s only attracted to Karma, just that right now she only wants to be with Karma. She was definitely open to the idea of dating other girls, but she needs to sort out her feelings for Karma first. Or at least that was my take on it.

    • Thumb up 5

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      Yeah, Amy’s like, what, 16? At that age, you can’t imagine a world without the people you’re currently with. Like, at that age, I couldn’t fathom a world without my bestest friends, but now almost a decade later I don’t keep in contact with most of them. My first relationship? I thought it was going to last forever because why would I want to find other people attractive if I’m ~~sooooo in love with the person I’m with?

      I feel like a lot of the problems in representation of queer sexuality are just overlooking the fact that they’re teenagers talking with other teenagers. At this stage, emotionally, it’s like the blind leading the blind.

  11. Thumb up 2

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    I hope Karma rejects Amy because I want Amy to date Jasmine who is HOT and AWESOME and has really good taste in clothes.

    I think Shane was my other favourite character this episode because everything he did was charming and supportive, while I am so mad the show went down the “Liam is totes redeemable” route instead of showing that even if he’s nice to Karma, he still thinks he’s trying to convert a lesbian!!

  12. Thumb up 1

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    I thought that at the end when Liam didn’t want to hook up with Karma anymore, that it was because he was starting to have actual feelings for her and he’s been hurt blah blah soo I’m not sure (if that is the case) that his refusal to have sex with her would be indicative of him realizing the error in his ways or just an element of his fear of sex+emotions+commitment etc.

  13. Thumb up 2

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    Riese, you are my favourite reviewer ever. I am hungover as sin and at work but this recap actually made me smile, so thank you.

    I am super in love with Amy, I actually find Karma endearing in a masochistic way. So Karmy would be pretty great imo. (There’s no way you can deny the actresses’ chemistry)

  14. Thumb up 0

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    Amy accidentally said “gurlfriend” instead of “girlfriend” exactly like I do all the time!

    Considering that, in hindsight, I probably had a crush on Princess Jasmine as a child, I really appreciated all of the gay “Aladdin” jokes about Amy’s date.

  15. Thumb up 0

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    I am just loving these recaps. And I would love to watch the show, but I fear my perception of it is just bettered by these recaps and the tumblr GIFs. Maybe the show (for me) isn’t about how it’s scripted or acted itself, but more about the subjects that it touches, the characters it builds (or tries to build) and the way it’s translating it for the next generation…

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