30 Sexy Dinosaur Facts For When You Can’t Think of What to Say in Bed

by Mey and Grace
Ever have one of those times when you’re in bed with your special someone and you find yourself at a loss for words? Well, as everyone knows, nothing makes for better pillow talk than dinosaur facts. Here you go, and you’re welcome.

The archeopteryx, which may or may not be one of the earliest birds (it's complicated). copyright Stacey Burgess

The archeopteryx, which may or may not be one of the earliest birds (it’s complicated). copyright Stacey Burgess

1. Modern day birds are actually dinosaurs! In fact, a T-Rex is more closely related to a turkey than a stegosaurus.


 

via xkcd

via xkcd

2. That’s because there were two main groups of dinosaurs: saurischian (lizard hipped) and ornithischian (bird hipped), and modern birds evolved from the saurischian group, which includes the T-Rex, and are evolutionarily closer than saurischian and ornithischian dinosaurs.


 

What even is that?!?! (It's a Quetzalcoatlus) via about.dinosaurs.com

What even is that?!?! (It’s a Quetzalcoatlus) via about.dinosaurs.com

3. Even though modern birds are dinosaurs, flying reptiles (like Pterodactyls and the ridiculously awesome Quetzalcoatlus) that lived in the time of the dinosaurs were not dinosaurs.


 

Liopleurodon via carnivoraforum

Liopleurodon via carnivoraforum

4. Neither were aquatic reptiles like the Plesiosaur or Liopleurodon.


 

5. Neither were Dimetrodons. Dinosaur refers to a specific set of land-dwelling reptiles who couldn’t fly and had a specific type of hip bone.


 

6. The Brontosaurus isn’t a real dinosaur at all. It’s just what happened when people accidentally put the skull of one sauropod on the body of another (also when people were being jerks and fighting to quickly “discover” as many new dinosaurs as they could).


 

7. It’s possible that the Triceratops didn’t exist either! Although there’s still a lot of debate going on, some paleontologists think that Triceratops skeletons are just young Torosauruses.


 

therizinosaurus_43749

8. The Therizinasaurus had the longest claws of any dinosaur, which grew to be about three feet long.


 

9. T-Rex had the biggest teeth of any carnivorous dinosaur at 12 inches long.


 

10. Velociraptors in real life weren’t very much like the ones in Jurassic Park at all. In reality, they were only a few feet tall, weighed about thirty pounds and where covered in feathers. So that annoying kid is pretty much right, except instead of  six-foot turkeys, they were more like three-foot turkeys.


 

11. Actually, a lot of dinosaurs were likely covered in feathers or protofeathers (which were basically short fuzzy feathers).


 

12. There’s a dinosaur named for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Dracorex hogwartsia, which means “Dragon King of Hogwarts”).


 

13. There’s evidence that suggests that Tyrannosaurus Rexes sometimes ate each other, which: gross but also cool?


 

14. Hadrosaurus foulkii (Duck-bills in “Land Before Time”) was the first mostly complete fossil ever found in North America. They showed a plaster casting of it at the 1893 World’s Fair, but now we know that the original hypothesis of what it looked like was totally wrong.


 

Astrodon, Maryland's State dinosaur.

Astrodon, Maryland’s State dinosaur.

15. Most states have state fossils, but some states have designated state dinosaurs.


 

via MSN

via MSN

16. The classic dinosaur movie “The Lost World” (1925), whose plot supposes that dinosaurs aren’t extinct after all, was the first feature-length movie ever to feature stop-motion animation.


 

17. The largest, most complete T-Rex fossil is currently in the Chicago Field Museum. Named “Sue” after paleontologist Sue Hendrickson, the fossil is 40 feet long and 13 feet tall.

17a. Sue the T-Rex was discovered in South Dakota, and if you go to the Field Museum with someone from South Dakota, that’s literally that only thing you need to know.


girls-t-rex

18. T-Rexes usually lived to be about 30 years old, so they were basically permanent millennials. Imagine a T-Rex watching Girls. I bet T-Rexes would be total Shoshannas.


 

19. Parasaurolophuses moved in herds. They really did move in herds.


 

20. It is unlikely that dinosaur eggs were ever larger than two feet across, even for the biggest dinosaurs.


 

troodon

21. It’s suggested that the smartest dinosaurs were Troodons, who were maybe about as smart as modern birds.


 

22. There were totally toothless dinosaurs; “HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON” WAS REAL


 

A team unearthing dinosaur fossils in Antarctica. via The Antarctic Sun

A team unearthing dinosaur fossils in Antarctica. via The Antarctic Sun

23. Dinosaur fossils have been found on every continent, including Antarctica.


 

24. The only thing I remember from my astronomy class is that basically everything major that happens is because of giant space stuff running into other giant space stuff, so I feel like the hypothesis that a giant impact wiped out the dinosaurs is probably true based on that class I took freshman year of college.


 

25. You can make road trips more fun if you point out that the car is about the size of a Stegosaurus and that the walnuts that you obviously packed in order to have this conversation are approximately the size of a Stegosaurus brain.


 

26. Some plant-eating dinosaurs swallowed rocks in order to help them digest their food.


 

27. Megalosaurus was the first dinosaur (not counting modern birds, which, I’ll remind you, are dinosaurs) to be officially named based on fossils back in 1824.


 

This is not at all what an Iguanodon looks like. via Cabinet

This is not at all what an Iguanodon looks like. via Cabinet

28. The next was the Iguanodon in 1825. They’ve got a famous thumb spike, but that spike was placed on its nose like a horn by the first  scientists who classified it.


 

Mary Anning and her weird dog. via Wikipedia

Mary Anning and her weird dog. via Wikipedia

29. Mary Anning was a famous early paleontologist in England, who discovered some ichthyosaur and pterosaur skeletons and the first ever plesiosaur skeletons. Although none of those are actually dinosaurs, she deserves a spot on this list, because she was a working class woman making scientific breakthroughs about prehistoric reptiles during a time when the only scientists were upper class men.


 

tumblr_m5y8tfLXeY1rz0vxpo1_500

30. Jurassic Park is one of the All-Time Best movies ever made and Dr. Ellie Sattler is a total badass whom I want to be/marry.

Avatar of Mey

Mey is a lesbian, Latina trans woman living in Idaho. Her areas of expertise include comic books, trans* issues and pop culture. She has an English Degree, a cat named Sawyer, a tumblr that she uses a lot and a twitter that she only uses occasionally. She's a selfie princess and Nerdy Bruja Femme.

Mey has written 142 articles for us.

49 Comments

  1. Thumb up 4

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    Dinosaurs are awesome! This list is awesome!

    I learned new things from this list and I am going to randomly tell people dinosaur facts. :) (Dinosaur facts may also feature in pillow talk. Luckily, my girlfriend likes dinosaurs too.)

  2. Thumb up 7

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    When I was three I found this old college textbook about dinosaurs (that was super inaccurate because it was from the 1970s) in a used book store and I made my parents read from it every single night for the next two years at which point I started reading it to myself. I guess what I’m saying is that dinosaurs, and all the giant reptiles that are incorrectly called dinosaurs, are awesome. Like, so awesome that I don’t even know how to relate to people who aren’t equally enthused.

  3. Thumb up 7

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    Dinosaurs are just as fascinating to me as an adult in my mid-30s as they were when I was a kid. In fact, I love dinosaurs so much that I had dinosaur sheets on my bed throughout much of 20s. The ladies that loved those sheets were the ones that were right for me.

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    This takes me back to my elementary school years, when I’d walk into the Museum of Natural History on a field trip and name all of the skeletons before finding the name plates.
    Excuse me while I excavate my previously well-read dinosaur encyclopedia from the bottom of my closet.

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    Love this list, but I do want to reassure everyone that, even if Triceratops and Torosaurus are the same dinosaur, we would still use the name Triceratops for it because it was coined first, at least according to all of the pop science articles I’ve read. (I point this out for anyone else who, like me, still has trust issues because Pluto is no longer a planet.)

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    As a mammalogist (which is almost the study of boobs), I just have to point out that of all these lovely animals we are most closely related to Dimetrodon! It’s an early offshoot of the animals that became mammals. For a while they were called “mammal-like reptiles” but that’s the scientific equivalent of an oxymoron because you just can’t be both reptile and mammal. And turns out it was neither.

    And while we’re on the topic of dimetrodon, those spines on its back supported a sail-like structure which it could use to regulate its temperature! Like a massive solar panel!

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    sb above is totally right. If somehow Triceratops and Torosaurus are synonymous names for the same species, then Triceratops stays (it’s the older name, and it’s more commonly used) and Torosaurus is thrown out. Coincidentally enough, researchers attached to Yale (which houses the type specimen of Torosaurus) have all so far argued that Torosaurus is not “just an old Triceratops“.

    Also Mary Anning was indeed badass.

  8. Thumb up 5

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    I love dinosaurs, but ugh, I can’t stand The Land Before Time. No love for the carnivores. None. I kind of wish I could buy the rights to the franchise and make “The Land Before Time XIV: The KT Extinction Event.” And then the movie just shows an asteroid impact. That’s all.

  9. Thumb up 0

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    sitting in my room yelling “THEY MOVE IN HERDS” the moment i opened this article

    ooh, i have a smooooth idea: mention #8, then show your well-trimmed nails & wiggle your eyebrows. probably make witty comment about, “but i am not Therizinasaurus” but i’m not witty enough to think of one : P

    #29, why did they paint the dog like that it looks like the dog is pooping. “HEY I FOUND A THING! Also i needed to take my dog out but that’s not what i’m pointing at trUST ME.” well, i guess if the subject’s staying still enough….

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    I found this so interesting that I’m not gonna be able to forget them. One guess what I’m gonna accidentally blurt out during sexy times.
    It’s BBC Sherlock quotes all over again.
    If I made Irene Adler sound stupid you can be sure I’m not gonna pull off dinosaurs.

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