14 Things Tom Corbett Could Have Compared Same-Sex Marriage To Instead of Incest

Same-sex marriage: It’s like any other legally binding relationship between consenting adults, except people feel the need to make curious analogies about legalizing it. On Friday, Pennsylvania governor Tom Corbett joined the club when he apologized for an earlier comparison between same-sex marriage and child marriage by claiming “the appropriate analogy would have been brother and sister, don’t you think?” You don’t seem so certain, there, Tom. May I suggest one of these alternatives?

That'll be a man, two women, my dog, and that lamp post.

That’ll be a man, two women, my dog, and that lamp post.

14 Things Tom Corbett Could Have Compared Same-Sex Marriage To Instead of Incest

1. Incest AND polygamy

2. Legalizing slavery

3. Abolishing slavery (in the United Kingdom)

4. Abolishing slavery (in the United States)

5. “Murder, for example, or polygamy, or cruelty to animals”

6. Pedophilia and baby farming

7. Bestiality (sarcastically)

8. Bestiality (seriously)

9. Hitler and the Nazi Party

10. Beer, not water, and napkins, not paper towels

11. Paganism

12. Forced friendship

13. Communism

14. “Selfish hedonism”

Avatar of Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is a recent college grad and journalist living in Chicago — although, truth be told, she spends most of her time on Tumblr. Talk to her about intersectionality, Battlestar Galactica, and bacon if you want to be best friends.

Kaitlyn has written 23 articles for us.

24 Comments

  1. Thumb up 63

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    I vote that we compare same sex marriage to ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’.

    IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE BUTTER, IT MIGHT TASTE LIKE BUTTER BUT IT WILL NEVER BE BUTTER.

    Maybe someone can start the It Gets Butter Project.

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        Honestly that’s how my first girlfriend and I justified everything that was going on between us (at first). Holding hands? Friends. Snuggling during movies? Friiiends. Butterflies in my stomach when I hear her voice? Friends friends friends. Sleeping together? Friends. Really, REALLY good friends.

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          The first “straight girl” I dated really loved to tell me she thought we should “just be friends” and she “really wanted to be my friend” about 15 seconds before kissing me. TBH I can’t remember a relationship that didn’t start by me deciding that someone was going to be my “friend” come hell or high water…

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        i have so many feelings about this. see: first relationship? “since it’s unclear, i think it’s best we decide we are really just friends” (and then we went back to being friends for a while, how was i ever so stupid.) come out to my mom? “i know you’re really good friends, and that means you can live in the same house next time, but you cannot be a couple”

        o k y’all

  2. Thumb up 3

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    All I think of reading this is, “I’m rubber and you Tom Corbett are glue*, every dumb shit you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”

    *The kind of glue that stinks and is a hot ass mess when you try to use it to “make a thing,” and you wonder, “why didn’t I use a hot glue gun!!?!”

    DIY Halloween costumes; so much fun, so much pain but glory will me mine!

  3. Thumb up 4

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    My first thought there was, it wouldn’t be anything like a marriage between a brother and a sister, because (presuming these siblings both identify with the gender they were born to), it would still be a heterosexual marriage.

    Apologies if my parenthesis is worded in a way that offends anyone.

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