Welcome to this year’s very last installment of You Still Have Time for a (Gay) Halloween Costume, where I try to convince you that you still have time to pull together a stellar (gay) costume. Yes, even the day of Halloween.
Sometimes you start working on a Black Swan costume in the middle of September. You take lots of time seeking out the perfect art supplies and you put it together with care. That’s some of the time. Most of the time your friend tells you at 9pm on Halloween that the two of you were just invited to a party and you have fifteen minutes to put together a costume that compliments her mummy costume. For some, this is all of the time. Here are thirteen great super last minute queer costumes. I chose thirteen because it’s a spooky number and Definitely Not because that’s how many costumes I came up with before I gave up and went to bed.
The Girl From Hyperbole and a Half
+Start with a pink dress
+Put your hair in to some sort of pointy bun pony-tail thing. Note: hair must be blonde.
+Optional: Carry around cake eating All Of It
+Wear a red plaid shirt and jeans
+Add a tool belt (or brown belt with pouches made from duct tape)
+Make an axe by cutting the shape out of cardboard. Then cover the “blade” area with tin foil using clear scotch tape to secure it.
+Wear a white dress or a white blouse and pants
+Add a red scarf
+If you have long hair, braid it and pit it to the top of your head
+Hot glue three red roses/carnations fluffed out to a headband. If you don’t want to buy real flowers, soak sevenish coffee filters in red food dye and water, let dry and twist them in to flower shapes and glue them to a headband. You can also just pin in the flowers
+Fill in your eyebrows as appropriate
+Check out this video:
+Cover yourself in tin foil
Natalie Portman in The Black Swan
Thank you user Denbo is my homegirl
+Full coverage little girl style panties
+Wrap yourself in a sheet
DNA (Group Costume)
+Print out large letters A, T, C and G
+Each of 4+ friends wear one letter by duct taping it to a T-shirt
+Be born this way
+Put on a hoodie
+Attend a party
+Dress yourself in appropriate “hipster attire”
+Put on badass zombie make-up
+Go around talking about how you we’re in to eating brains before it was cool.
**Note: a great last minute costume is zombie anything. Any old costume you have plus zombie makeup = awesome new costume**
+Make six claws and attach two sets of three by the base using duct tape or clay
+Put on a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt and a leather jacket
+Wolverineafy your hair
Mario and Luigi (Couple’s Costume)
+Put on red and/or green shirts
+Put on overalls
+Glue a white M or L to an appropriately colored hat
+Obviously fake mustaches are always encouraged.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Willow (Couple’s costume)
+Start with tight jeans and a black tank top
+Make a stake out of a fallen tree branch sharpened on one end
+Wear a blonde wig
+If you don’t have red hair, wear a red wig
+Wear a black dress with several chains and/or crosses
+Carry a few old looking books
+Attend a party with a friend dressed as Buffy
Your Own Dad
+Just find the geeky stuff in your parent’s place (fishing vest, big sun glasses, goofy hat, Merrils, etc.)
+Apply false facial hair as necessary. Or not, this costume is equally funny either way.
+Wear your Autostraddle T-shirt
+Put an Autostraddle sticker on your netbook/macbook air
+Carry around said netbook/macbook air
+Occasionally plop your comp down on a nearby surface and furiously start typing and mumbling about other people checking their privilege.
Still not convinced you have time? Check out this YouTube video I found during my hard-hitting, in-depth “research” for this article: