What We Love and Hate About Dating Libras

For those who believe in it, astrology can be a powerful tool for introspection and self-knowledge — or you can use it to talk shit about your ex and obsess over your crush. Journey with us as we do both, and then head to the comments to live your truth.

Vanessa Friedman, Community Editor

I love Libras as friends but I could never date one because they’re obsessed with partnership and very indecisive! I just know it would end badly and I’m already stressed about it because of all the processing that would inevitably have to happen!

All I have to say about dating Libras can be summed up by this conversation with one of my best friends who is a Libra:

Me: The problem is like this has worked for me. In romance and friends. The people who are difficult at first do end up being the people I like most…

Friend: Aren’t most people difficult at first? Maybe not. Maybe I’m just difficult at first lol

Me: Yes you were and you’re my favorite. Case in point.

Ari , Writer

A Libra once said “why do you whistle so much” and when I said I thought it was less annoying than singing, said Libra said “it’s not.” Whoever said Libras get along with everyone is lying. I wanna fight 99% of Libras I’ve ever met. ALSO: MAKE A DAMN DECISION!!!!!!!!! I cannot go on a date with a Libra without giving them the menu to where we’re eating at least five hours in advance and EVEN THEN!

Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor

A Libra is the kind of girl who makes you show up to all of her events in an Outfit, and she herself is several hours late but arrives caked in sequins. She is friends with everyone in the room and sometimes leaves you by yourself while she shakes hands and kisses babies, the true mayor of every party. Can you tell I’ve dated a Libra? My last Libra conquest is one of my best friends and I love her but I do simply not own enough costumes to date her.

Ryan Yates, Writer

Libras are often into museums and art and food and nice things – not in an over-the-top performative sort of way, but in a steady sort of way.

Positive: L O L. They’re…pretty?

Negative: Passive aggressive af. Their indecisiveness is not the problem, but the lack of responsibility or acknowledgement of the consequences of it is. They love to be a victim and a martyr, cannot handle not being liked or approved by everyone which… I don’t need to tell you all the ways that’s unhealthy. They have a similar communication style to Gemini, meaning every little thing is a big thing and every big thing is a little thing — but Gemini at least owns it. I think Libras like to pretend they’re a Virgo about their communication which… somehow makes it worse. Sex is whatever because they’re more interested in the idea of sex than the actual sex they’re having in the moment, also I’m sorry hobbies and interests don’t invent a personality.

Robin Roemer, Contributor

I’m terrified of Libras. I had a Libra who broke my heart because she could not bring herself to have real conversations about difficult things and then did very hurtful shit. They seem so sweet. What’s going on there?

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  1. This is… ouch. Aggressive.
    U N B A L A N C E D.

    I’ve always fully identified with the four or five houses I’ve got in Libra (including sun and rising) but a lot of these experiences do NOT fit me or any of my many libra friends. I’ll fully own up to the indecisiveness – though I’m really good at throwing down a veto? I feel cared for if somebody gives me 2-3 options that they would enjoy… but not more. The way I know they don’t get me is if they ask a vague “what do you want to do” sort of thing. I can’t count how many times I’ve dramatically sobbed “please don’t make me make a choice” about something inane like a dinner venue.

    Stef’s assessment is very fair. I’m sorry.

    Carolyn’s is flattering and just simply true 🤣.

    • This is great, because as a Sagittarius, I love to give 2-3 options of things I would enjoy for dinner or date-type activities, and then handing over the responsibility of final veto to the other person! I know I’m getting something I like…i.e. all of the fun, none of the responsibility!

      • Honestly everybody is not the same but they do have similarities…..I’m confused about my Libra friend because they flirt constantly even to me with they were in a relationship and now they wanna be with me? My libra seem to not respect their relationship and as a friend (sadly) I regret even getting them. But hey I’m a leo…..I’m more balanced than my libra though

    • Libras are indecisive and very good liars. Most of them are loud and always want to be noticed. At first I thought they were givers but they give to collect double. My encounter with every libra I’ve encountered.

    • Libras are indecisive and very good liars. Most of them are loud and always want to be noticed. At first I thought they were givers but they give to collect double. My encounter with every libra.

    • I agree with the original comment. There’s nothing wrong with astrology as something that’s fun or something that’s part of an individual’s belief system, but when it becomes this ambiguously serious-or-maybe-not public activity where viciously stereotyping people is encouraged and using those stereotypes to drag individuals is “fun” and okay, that’s… a little worrisome? And I don’t know, it’s nowhere near as bad as stereotyping based on meaningful differences that affect people’s lives like race or gender, and probably a lot of this comes from me personally having difficulty with ambiguously serious tone in general as an autistic person, but in the past few years I’ve definitely gone from being someone who thought astrology was fun and maybe a little bit true to being someone who feels really uncomfortable around it. So yeah, this is A Bit Much and you should say it.

      • I wouldn’t compare it to race/gender differences either, but there seriously ARE people who wouldn’t date someone just because they’re a certain sign, or some even more complicated stuff around assorted astrological nonsense, and I really do think that’s fucked up.

        • My horrifically abusive ex-gf used the fact that I’m a Libra as material for her emotional and verbal abuse. She originally told me she didn’t date Libras (challenge accepted), and later would use much of the same language in the article to gaslight me. And she seriously believed what she was saying.

          So ya, astrology is just fun and harmless

  2. Wow – super disappointed in Autostraddle for this one.

    Pretty glad one of my dealbreakers is believing in astrology. Hate on my cute,smart,funny,kind self all you want because you aren’t getting any anyway. I like my women sciencey and rational.

  3. Random fact: Some weeks ago I searched on Autostraddle for a roundtable about dating libras and Heather Hogan‘s „10 Lesbian Sex Scenes I Wrote Before I Had Lesbian Sex“ came up, because „librasexual“. Reader, go read it, it’s a gift.

    This article: I love reading and talking about astrology without taking it very seriously and never encountered such strong feelings about my lovely sign. Is this how scorpios feel? Mika’s assessment read harsh but nevertheless rang true for me on several points. Obviously not because I’m a libra but because I’m the daughter of a gemini and a capricorn 😁

  4. My girl is a libra and this post is sooo negative. Let me instead tell you some of my favorite things about libras!
    – Nice to everyone they meet
    – Independent, but loves quality time with loved ones
    – Great kissers!
    – Loves to laugh and smile
    – Great caretaker, basically the most caring people you will ever meet
    – Lots of sex appeal
    – So compassionate, helps you look at situations from multiple angles before making a rushed decision.
    – Always cheers you up with sillyness and fun

    I love me a good libra and think they can be great partners!

  5. I feel like anything I write here will be a catch 22 since we apparently “love to be a victim and a martyr, cannot handle not being liked or approved by everyone”.

    So I’ll just say that when I read that Hola Papi’s column about astrology-related work harassment and someone in the comments asked if the business owners were in charge of Autostraddle I was like “lol, unnecessarily harsh?”, but now I kinda see their point.

    The business owners in question were LIBRAS so I feel all around I’m being fair since I’m including a self-own.

  6. Logged in just to say that I really liked this column when it started, because it seemed to be all in good fun, but the tone of this article is pretty mean. I’m not even a Libra myself and I was taken aback by it.

  7. I don’t usually read these columns because I couldn’t believe in astrology LESS.. but having read some others as a result of the comments this has generated, it really lacks balance. Which even my unbelieving self recognizes as ironic, considering.

  8. Jesus, this is like bad parody of gay astrology stuff I see on insta! Agree with others that the tone of being not entirely serious (so you can’t get offended) plus entirely negative (so you CAN feel bad) is not great. I love libras, they tend to be very compassionate, loving, and appreciative of beauty and pleasure ime.

    • OH thank you for explaining it this way! obviously people are passionately into things I am not, so I ignore most of the astrology posts like I do for other things I am not interested in, like specific shows or whatever, but I couldn’t figure out why this bothered me

      like as a friday open thread this makes sense to me, but less so as its own regular column

  9. LOL. This seems pretty dumb.
    Disclaimer that I don’t believe in astrology, so I don’t know if some of these characteristics are supposed to be a thing for Libras, but it doesn’t seem to be about Libras in general as much as it is about specific people you guys don’t like.
    I’m a Libra and I know many other Libras. The vast majority of this stuff either doesn’t apply at all, or could apply to just about anyone.
    FWIW, the person I know who most likes to play the victim is actually a Scorpio. I’ll try not to hold it against all people who were born in November.

  10. Honestly everybody is not the same but zodiacs make us have similarities…I’m a Leo and even though Libras are “balanced” they in reality. My “friend” Libra don’t know what they want and it shows negatively. I wish they can leave me alone.

  11. imagine having bad taste like this, babes! this is heinous and i won’t stand for this slander.

    maybe libras aren’t indecisive, maybe they just want to make sure their partners/friends are comfortable! maybe they’re just very in tune with what other people might want and are flexible enough to go with the flow!

    honestly this isn’t even a problem because more for me honestly. signed, a leo sun, cancer moon, virgo rising.

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