This post is sponsored by Unbound.
There are a few different ways to have sex. Okay there are a million different ways to have sex, but in my daily life I’ve found they boil down to three approaches: 1. Regular sex. There’s some time — not hours and hours of time, but enough. The usual partners, scenes, body parts and toys are present, in the usual ways. 2. Minimal sex. There’s not a lot of time, energy or space. The kind of sex you have with a stranger in a bathroom, with a partner when someone wants to come but someone wants to sleep, when you have exactly twenty-five minutes and know how to use them, by yourself when you just need to come so you can focus on something else. Quick and ruthless. 3. Empty the toy box sex. The kind of sex that lasts for hours — or at least, it must have, because it was day when you started and it’s getting light again now, and you’re sweaty and sore and when was the last time you ate (food) and sex toys are everywhere because you used almost every single one and you feel almost like you can’t catch your breath, like you might never catch your breath again.
The Unbound Double Entendre Box is like that.
The Unbound Box is a curated subscription box of sex toys and accessories that arrives quarterly. This season’s Double Entendre Box includes the Sliquid Swirl strawberry-pomegranate flavored lube, gold-colored stealth handcuff bangles, Smith and Sinclair cocktail pastilles, a let’s play/go away doorknob hanger, and a cotton drawstring bag. Best of all, it’s anchored around Je Joue Ooh, a modular line of vibrators we already love where a core motor fits into a few different toy bodies so you can own more toys more easily (and they’re more environmentally friendly, too). Along with the large size Ooh motor, the box includes a pebble vibrator and your choice of a butt plug or cock ring. (Unbound carries other toy bodies if you want to fill out your collection, and if you want a classic dildo shape instead you can email them and they’ll make it happen just for you.) And it all comes in a plain blue box inside a plain brown cardboard shipping box so you don’t have to worry about anyone knowing what’s up (unless you want them to know what’s up).
With such a great collection, how could I not dive in? Only one problem: no one else was home.
I ate the Smith and Sinclair candies before realizing they’re called cocktail pastilles not only because they taste like cocktails but also because they contain alcohol. Whoops. Then I hung the doorknob hanger “let’s play” side out on the bedroom door, slipped on the handcuff bangles and slipped off my underwear.
The handcuff bangles are perfect if you’re not sure you like bondage and want a safe place to start; if you like bondage and want to flag it by wearing kink-inspired jewelry; or if you (or a partner) is into secretly wearing handcuffs out to dinner so it feels like you’re playing even if you’re being totally PG. They’re easy to slip on and off, they don’t have a key to mess around with or lose, and they look just enough like handcuffs to be recognizable to someone paying attention without letting everyone in the room know what’s up.
When she arrived, my activity partner definitely knew what was up. She didn’t actually say, “Is that a huge box of sex toys on the bed and handcuffs on your wrists or are you just happy to see me?” but if she had the answer would have been yes. Together, we opened the rest of the box.
Putting an Ooh toy together is easy: after washing the body with anti-microbial soap, the USB-rechargeable motor clicks right into place. (The motor is waterproof, but only when a toy is assembled, so I cleaned it more carefully.) Each vibrator then has a single light-up button you can feel by touch and use to cycle through the three speeds and two vibration patterns.
To make a sweeping statement: I think Je Joue Ooh might be my favorite vibrator(s). The interface is super simple to use without looking, the silicone of each shape is smooth and silky and forgiving without being sticky, the motor is rumbly for its size (which is especially attractive in the pebble, but just as attractive in other shapes) and super quiet, it lasts long enough to get the job done and I can own a few different toys without feeling like I’m killing the earth or wrangling tons of charging cords. No vibrator could ever be perfect for everyone, but Je Joue Ooh makes it hard to tell the difference.
I found the pebble perfect for the easy targeted sensation I love, and was tempted to stick with it for the whole afternoon (evening sex is overrated; before dinner sex is hot as… you know), but in the spirit of emptying the box I moved onto the butt plug, popping the motor into the shape and throwing a condom over everything so I wouldn’t have to deal with cleanup after. The shape was longer than I’m used to for a plug, but the small angled bulb will appeal to beginners.
The classic dildo (available separately, or in place of the cock ring/butt plug option with an email) was a bit of a tease for me, but non-size-queens will love it. It was also a great warmup for more fingers and bigger toys.
Similarly, even though it’s stretchy, I had a touch of difficulty slipping the cock ring over my partner’s strap-on until we added Sliquid Swirl lube. (Once in place, it became the strongest vibrating ring I’ve ever tried. It was big enough to hit my clit and strong enough to vibrate the base of the dildo and hit hers, too.)
If you love giving strap-on blow jobs but hate the taste of silicone, Sliquid Swirl is the lube you’ve been waiting for: it’s water-based, vegan, glycerin- and paraben-free, and only lightly sweetened and flavored, in this case like strawberries and pomegranate. In my highly scientific experimentation, it was strong enough to mask the taste of silicone, but not strong enough to mask the taste of vulva.
We didn’t notice when it got later. We didn’t notice when it got darker. When, in the early hours of the morning, we ordered ice cream on the internet, we got strawberry, and pomegranate.
Want your own Double Entendre Box from Unbound? Win a $100 gift card by following Unbound on Twitter or Instagram, signing up for it newsletter, visiting it on Facebook and referring friends (as many times as you want in the next 30 days)! Enter here.
um I want those handcuff bangles so bad.