TV Capture Caption Contest: Round #1

Thanks to all who commented in last week’s open thread – you gave me so many good ideas and new shows to watch! But then I thought, “What about all the other shows, the ones Autostraddlers didn’t mention?” Well, I certainly have enough shows to watch already, but I came up with this special way of recognizing them: random screencaps! Without watching a show, I captured a random moment from last week’s episode. Smart way to save time, right? But wait, there’s more!

Let’s make it a CAPTION CONTEST! I will add my own ‘snarky’ interpretation of what’s going on in each scene, then I want you to add your interpretation in the comments section. (You can also LOL in your comments!) When we do this all again next week, I’ll announce the “Caption of the Week!” winner (based on my own grading scale, because it makes me feel all powerful).

Uh, if you did watch any of these shows, feel free to tell us what actually went on. Now, on to the random screencaps:

One Tree Hill, 716

One Tree Hill, episode 716

“This blows. I wish I had my own show on The Disney Channel.”


Mercy, 114

Mercy, episode 114

“You must be thinking, ‘How can a man with such perfectly tousled hair & sexy stubble also practice medicine?’ But I swear I’m a real doctor.”


Two and a Half Men, 715

Two and a Half Men, episode 715

“This blanket would be so much snugglier if it had sleeves!”


Nip/Tuck, 706

Nip/Tuck, episode 706

“But honey, the scientists said the G spot doesn’t exist…


The Middle, 115

The Middle, episode 115

“Does drinking both these beers at once mean I’m an alcoholic?”


The Deep End, 104

The Deep End, episode 104

“Listen, I’m trying as hard as I can to look like Bette Porter. What more do you want?”

Think my captions blow, should have sleeves, are alcoholic, can’t practice medicine, and don’t look enough like Bette Porter? Please add your own!

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  1. I really love this idea! Hooray!

    One Tree Hill – “Boobies. Boobies boobies. Boobies.”
    Mercy – “Cardiopulmin…? Uh, well, y’see… Yeah, I have no idea what that means.”
    Two And A Half Men – “Wah! I’ve run out of people to abuse!” (too soon?)
    Nip/Tuck – “I know 15 minutes could save us 15% on our car insurance, but the Progressive chick is just so hot.”
    The Middle – “Goddamn I’m tall!”
    The Deep End – All I can think about is Bette Porter now. That’s really kinda creepy.

  2. One Tree Hill – ‘Do you remember when this show used to be about basketball?’

    Mercy – ‘A grey hair?! Bitch, please.’

    Nip Tuck – ‘You’ve gotten your fingers stuck like that again, haven’t you?’

    The Middle – ‘Sometimes I miss being a janitor.’

    I couldn’t possibly attempt to top the other two.

  3. Awesome!
    But I think he would have to drink a bit more beer to be considered “alcohol” (and I miss when the real One Three Hill… Brooke and Peyton, you were so beautiful…).

    • ah geez, went back and fixed that typo. I’m not sure a person can ever be considered an alcohol.

      P.S. I watched the first two seasons of One Tree Hill and totally thought Brooke & Peyton would get it on EVENTUALLY. When I realized they would never go there, I stopped watching.

      • I pretended that they did… just the cameras weren’t there (you’d be surprised by how well that fits the story line. We’re talking almost Serena/Blair subtext).

  4. The Deep End- Look, all I’m saying is we could be having a little afternoon delight on my desk instead of arguing about feelings.

  5. One Tree Hill – I’ll keep wearing flannel shirts coz I wanna be just like Kimberly Reed when I grow up.

  6. One Tree Hill – Plaid shirt, check! Organic Herbal Infusion, check! If only I could do something about my wiener, maybe they’d let me into the Lil’ Lesbians club…

    Mercy – You’re actually fine Ms. Jenkins, but I’m going to pretend you have subacute sclerosing panencephalitis because I look so sexy, smart and sensitive when I’m diagnosing complicated-sounding fatal illnesses.

    Nip/Tuck – If only your fingers were that flexible in bed, we wouldn’t be sat here.

    The middle – Plaid shirt, check! Couple of Dos Equis, Check! If only I could do something about this wiener… Ah shit, I already did that one.

    The deep end – yeah, I’d say you were at least a double-D cup.

    Is this going to be a regular feature, because if so, you may have created a MONSTER.

  7. Two and a Half Men – “Can you please stop the damn laugh track already! It’s getting kinda old.”

  8. Two and a Half Men – “This is my thinking blanket, and I am staying under it until I can think of a way to steal talent and likability from my IRL Dad and/or brother.”

  9. One Tree Hill – “That’s what she said.”
    Mercy – “That’s what she said.”
    Two And A Half Men – “That’s what she said.”
    Nip/Tuck – “That’s not what she said” :(
    The Middle- “That’s what she said.”
    The Deep End- “That’s what she said.”

    I’ve been catching up on The Office today.

  10. One Tree Hill – “I could totally tap that.”

    Mercy – “I could totally tap that. Twice. Standing up.”

    Two And A Half Men – Totally tapped…and not in a good way.

    Nip/Tuck – “Damn. I’m never getting tapped again.”

    The Middle – “Only thing I wanna tap is a keg. Or two.”

    The Deep End – “Look, tap this or not, it’s your choice. I’m just saying you’re going to regret it forever if the answer is no.”

  11. Two and a half man – “the only thing that’s worst than this hangover is my acting”

    Mercy- “Am i trying to hard to look like every other hot doctor on tv?”

    The deep end – “All she wanted was a f**king sippy cup

    • Seriously, Mercy is so generic. If they weren’t clearly labeled on the TV listing, I wouldn’t know which medical drama was on.

  12. Bear in mind I’ve never seen any of these shows:

    One tree hill: This will make a great tell-all book someday

    Mercy: Are you buying this?

    Two and a Half Men: Dude, what happened, and why is it so bright in here?

    Nip Tuck: Woman: I know this is hard for you . Guy: I could try scissoring if you wanted…

    The Middle: Just what are those squirrels doing out there?

    The Deep End: and I could be Bette and you could be Nadia… what do you say?

  13. “Listen, I’m trying as hard as I can to look like Bette Porter. What more do you want?”

    this one made me laugh out loud :D …..because before i clicked on this article i’d noticed the little pic on autostraddle’s homepage and assumed it was bette and nadia….

    • I know right! With the smaller pic, it’s uncanny. But it’s network TV, so I doubt there’s any sexytimes. (I say “I doubt” because like I said, I didn’t watch it.)

  14. One Tree Hill- “Why do my parents never age?”

    Mercy-“Pulmonary paracardio…haha peepee. Wait keep the serious face she has to buy this.”

    Two and A Half Men-“Oh snap. In prison I will be the one getting bitch slapped.”

    Nip/Tuck-“But my doctor said it was perfectly normal.”

    The Middle-“Just keep staring straight ahead and they won’t think it was me.”

    The Deep End-“Baby’s not mine Maury.”

  15. One Tree Hill: “I wish I was a little bit taller…”

    Mercy: “… and that’s why you shit, shower, and shave in that order.”

    Two and A Half Men:” What? You people are still watching me? Go away! Let me get cancelled already!”

    Nip/Tuck: “Sometimes, when you get on top and you do that thing with your lip, and you look down at me, I don’t feel like the ‘man’ anymore.”

    “The Middle: “It’s 5 O’clock somewhere, right?”

    The Deep End: “ I look down and I says, I says: well, what are you waiting for? Its not gonna eat itself, you know.”

  16. THE MIDDLE: “Look, I’m going on the theory that seeing as I want to make a double batch of Laneia’s scrumptidlyumptious brownies, I need to double ALL the ingredients!”

    THE DEEP END: “Look Taylor your just not what were looking for. I’m sorry, but I don’t care how well you sing your songs, or how good an actress you are, were audtioning for ‘The Fame Monster – the musical’ not Love Story, ok!”

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist that last one!! p,s Gaga’s now won all 3 Brit awards she was up for – good times!!

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