Bette attempts to creep into her home so she can creep back out of her home and have dinner with esteemed recluse Pippa Pescal but Angie shocks her with a special request!
I mean of course you *can* watch the original series if you really want to but I hope you know that if you had any questions about the health concerns that come into play when you rub your entire body against the wall of a jail cell to talk dirty to your secret mistress you could just ask me directly
Angie saw Micah today and really liked him, so perhaps she could keep seeing him and perhaps maybe all of them could go together? Angie and Tina and Carrie and Bette, all together as one powerhouse matriarchy? Bette says it’s okay, of course it’s okay, she would do anything for Angie! They hug and it’s sweet and I tear up AGAIN Â because that is unfortunately who I am now. A GIRL WHO WATCHES SCREENERS AND CRIES.
It’s night-time at The Aloce Show, Alice is in a meeting with Tom, relaying some of her chart-esque drama from the night before and complementing his ability to retain gossip.
You promised if I brought you orange fuzzy dice that you’d write me a chapter about your Hot Army Girlfriend
Tom says the only chapter they’ve yet to revisit is the one about Dana. You know Dana Fairbanks, she was a tennis player who did a Subaru campaign and liked Love Boat roleplay but then she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died five minutes later. Tom tells Alice this sweet story about his older brother, who took him to the Magic Castle when Tom was 13. Then his brother, who was 19 at the time, died on his drive home back to college.
Tom: I like to think he’s up in heaven, doing magic tricks, cheering me on. What about Dana? Is she up there rooting for you?
Alice: She’s too busy playing tennis.
Tom: She’s the love of your life.
Alice: Can we just not do this?
Tom: C’mon.
Alice: What.
Tom: Come on.
Alice: I see her when my eyes are closed but I also see her when my eyes are open. I can hear her laugh. I smell her smell, I can feel her everywhere. And I miss her so much sometimes, the emptiness is like — but there’s nothing that I can do about it because she’s gone. And I do not wanna dwell on the fact that she was taken from me and robbed of a life because of some fucking disease. Okay? I don’t wanna do it, Tom.
Tom: Do you think maybe you could like… say that again, maybe just a little bit slower, so I could jot it down?
Alice: Oh my god, you’re the worst.
Also I saw her ghost in a waterfall in Canada? and nobody should have to go through that. Nobody.
I AM SHEDDING REAL TEARS???!!?! I feel whole? We are all growing up and processing our trauma together?
Micah made it to 50% of his date!!! Good job Micah!!! Maribel’s like, well, what did you think of Harry? Micah’s not sure that Harry is his type.
I think that person on the corner up there is talking about how great your shirt is, because like, everybody’s still talking about it
Micah: I’m not sure that I’m —
Maribel: — into lawyers.
Micah: Gay!
Maribel: Oh! Okay.
Micah: Yeah, uh, I think that I’m into women as well.
Maribel: Shit, I am so sorry, did I offend you?
Micah: No, I mean how could you know? I’m still sort of just trying to figure it out myself.
Micah has been canonically bisexual in my head ever since the moment we learned he used to date Dani, but this is fine and I will accept it. Micah says his bisexuality is a recent feeling BECAUSE UM and Maribel says oh maybe she could find him a woman to date and he’s like, um, yeah okay maybe kinda sure I guess so right but but but but but but also or oop! the Lyft is here! MARIBEL MARRY THE MAN ALREADY I WILL OFFICIATE
Over at what is undoubtedly an expensive farm-to-table restaurant that delivers delicious, sustainable produce from local makers, Bette has reached the pitch portion of the meal, for which Pippa is putting up quite the resistance. Bette is visibly aroused but also challenged and determined. Pippa says Bette’s boss is racist and that Bette is compromised by working with him — but Bette says she wouldn’t have access to the resources she needs otherwise.
Babe, we all saw CORE, we know you cheated on Jodi, the word is out
I need to call my lawyer
I mean truly — a white man with too much money is giving it to Bette to spend it on artists of color who have been historically marginalized! Take that man’s money and run! Show the art! Fuck Bette in an elevator!
Pippa: Your boss doesn’t seem to think there are any Black or brown artists who are “ready.” I’ve heard him say that verbatim through the years—
Bette: I’m not going to defend him. Okay? But you should know that I am using the power of his resources to try to mitigate the damage that’s been done.
Bette says she was able to secure full funding for Kizmet Russell’s project in a matter of days. Still, Pippa won’t consent to receiving full funding for her projects to be seen on a major scale under the watchful eye of Our Lady of Porter. But now, things are gonna get steamy!
Pippa: It’s nice talking to someone as smart as you.
Bette: Likewise.
Pippa: And as beautiful. You know you’re beautiful of course. How could you not know? So I think it’s okay to mention it.
Bette: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And your work should be back in spaces that would give it the platform that it deserves.
Pippa says she can’t work with Bette because she’s “one of them now.” Bette grips her hand desperately and moans, “Please.” Pippa cocks her head, looks own and looks away: “don’t touch me like that unless you’er coming home with me.” Bette relents. Devastating.
Are you going to be a good girl?
Yes Daddy I will
Welp!
Lesbian Sexy Moment #4: Miss Right Now
The Players: Gigi and Bette
The Pick-Up: Um, probs like, “hi”
Hot or Not? Between a song that goes “you’re not the one, but you’re the one right now” and Bette’s somewhat unenthusiastic facial expression for about one second AND knowing Bette’s just using Gigi as a body even though the body she really wants is Pippa’s…. I don’t know!
Shane has taken the opportunity of Tess’s absence to go to her house and set up a projector right there in her very own backyard so now they can watch Empire Records whenever they want! Or you know, they could simply watch Casablanca upside-down.
Whistle while you work doo doo doo doo do do doo
But first, feelings: Tess talks about how difficult the visit was with her Mom, who has dementia, Shane says she’s sorry, that must be so difficult to watch.
The world turned upside down!
Shane’s trying to fix the projector and Tess is telling her where to put the cords and then, at last!!!! Shane leans in for it and Tess leans right on into it and…
… then Tess pulls away and says she’s sorry because…. she’s seeing someone?!?!?!!?!?!?!!? How serious could it possibly be if it’s just now coming up?? Â HAVE SEX
Back at the Ojai Honeymoon Castle, Dani and Sophie are in bed together laughing and talking about their former dreams of living in Ojai and riding bikes to the Farmer’s Market and Sophie being Dani’s hot little housewife. Sophie starts talking about her job and Dani is so engaged in the conversation, like now they have the space to look at the other person’s career choices as their own rather than a set of circumstances that impacts their relationship. (To be clear, that should also be possible IN a relationship but these two were never great at talking about each other’s careers.)
Dani reminds Sophie about the documentary she wanted to make about all the lesbians in Buffalo in the 40s and 50s which I think means somebody on this set has read Boots of Leather Slippers of Gold! (Which you can read about here too.)
Lesbian Squabble #18: I’m Up and Doing Circles I Collapse
In the Ring: Sophie vs. Dani
Content:Â It is time for the Second Act of every lesbian’s favorite play, SEX WITH YOUR EX. In this act, the couple who just bonded over a shared interest in fucking each other are quickly torn apart by the reason they became exes to begin with, and their respective emotions regarding The Other Woman.
Dani asks who Sophie was talking to earlier and reminds her that she’s a bad liar. Sophie says it was Finley, and Dani asks if they’re dating, and Sophie says she doesn’t know what they are, and Dani gets pissed and gets out of bed, and Sophie’s like “you told me not to lie” which, LOL, and Dani’s like, how are you not FURIOUS with her for ruining our wedding, and Sophie says she didn’t mean to! But also, Dani told her it was firmly over, and is it over? LADIES IT’S OVER!!!!!!!
Who Wins? Maybe Finley?
And then, of course, Micah spills the beans to Finley about Sophie’s actual reason for being in Ojai. Finley brushes it off but is clearly deeply, unspeakably pained. Yikes.
Just ONE word away from Queen Bee…
WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR ENDING MUSICAL MONTAGE!
Finley hops on a scooter while crying.
Alice comes home and sobs into Lenore’s open arms.
Micah sits at home texting Maribel and not telling her how he feels about her.
Finley takes her sad scooter to the liquor store.
I sit on the floor in the dark in front of the screener sad about everybody’s pain!
And, finally, Sophie and Dani are standing outside in the cool spring air. Sophie says she’s gotta go, but she’s glad Dani’s okay.
Any chance I could get that red pepper back tho?
Nope.
“I think we dodged a bullet, you and me,” Dani says after Sophie turns her back.
“You do?” Sophie is hopeful that maybe they agree on this and that could lessen her guilt.
“Just… got too hard. It doesn’t feel hard now,” Dani smiles like she’s surprised to be smiling.
“No,” Sophie shakes her head. “It doesn’t.”
“Maybe you should stay,” Dani says.
Sophie looks back at her, shakes her head, AND SCENE.
The Round-Up:
Lesbian Sex Scense: 2 this episode, 4 total
Lesbian Squabbles: 4 this episode, 19 total.
Quote of the Week: “Don’t touch me like that unless you’re coming home with me.” – Pippa, to Bette Fucking Porter
Pages: 1 2 3See entire article on one page
When I tell you I screamed when Tess’s “someone” was revealed in the promo, I mean I screamed to the point that my housemate burst into my room seconds later to check if I was being actively murdered.
I guess after the many glorious callbacks this episode, the bonus in the promo did me in.
I gasped out loud, to myself, like exactly no one ever does in real life. Did not see that coming, but now CANNOT WAIT!
Also, I continue to live for these hilarious recaps. Thank you Riese for your continued service to our people.
The loud ass groan I let out when it was revealed…. My dog looked at me as if something was wrong with me.
I somehow missed it when I first saw the promo. NO. FUCKING. WAY. She is like the official The L Word relationship zombie. She just keeps coming back!
I KNOW. I seriously cannot imagine how this person could be in any way a healthy option for Tess.
omg i am so glad to hear that this was in the promo. i have been aware of this for two weeks now and it has been eating me UP inside
wait!! where can i see the promo?? i want to know!! (but no-one in the comments tell me please)
I watch it on Hulu and it auto-plays after the episode! Which is probably not helpful unless you’re watching the same way!
Furthermore, my gf and I were uhh surprised by that reveal. I’m intrigued but more than a little nervous to see how it plays out!
Espero que traduza
Dez anos e logo saberemos a verdade.
Justiça para Jenny.
Watching Ted Lasso 206 and then Gen Q 204 basically back to back was not my best choice – I’m slighly emotionally wrung out, but I’m so grateful for this recap to cheer me up! Feels like this season is picking up now and the promo made me gasp.
I know Ted Lasso is zero percent gay but I also still wish Autostraddle would review it, because I want to talk to other gays about it
You know when an academic presenter sets up their talk for 45 minutes and then only discusses their findings in the last 15? Or when an abstract sound amazing, but the article itself is underwhelming? Or when a tennis player doesn’t really perform until the second or third set? (Hi, Dana.) I fear that this season has these vibes! Why are we spending so much time on stuff that the show explicitly tells us won’t last? Why keep drawing things out and you could, you know, just get to the good stuff? Don’t get me wrong: I love this show! But! I would like to move forward with some of these characters/plotlines!
I remain optimistic, though. I didn’t *really* enjoy last season until the latter half.
This easily could have been the best episode so far, but… Where the hell was Gigi??
Yeah, sure we love her in sex scenes. But give her a line and she’ll flip our mind with her sexyness! That was the biggest low point of this episode.
I actually don’t care much for the new Q characters, but I really enjoyed them in this episode. Dani and Sophie’s scene was great, I felt for Finley (I’m starting to be more empathic towards her). And Micah’s disappointment is just so real.
I won’t say it was the best episode, because we need Gigi and I really missed her face and looks. It could have been…
To read that Helena will be back made me sooooooo happy! Gigi and Helena? I ship anyone with Gigi
Sinley is breaking my heart. She was honest with Dani but lied to Finley? Girl.
Also, are they bringing back Tasha? The soldier reference made me think so.
Poignant Carmen and Dana mentions, both in one episode… they really should’ve put one of those trigger warnings before the episode. I was not emotionally prepared for this episode.
So Micah is going to have to rein in Bette, Tina, and Carrie during a family therapy session?? Oh, Micah… may the odds be ever in your favor.
Did anyone else think the part of the Dani Sophie sex scene where Sophie said we can’t and Dani kinda kept going was weird?
Yes, definitely agree. It made me feel so sad? Maybe a topic for my therapist.
I also think it was an excellent illustration of why their relationship didn’t work. Sophie has feelings (and a strong moral compass) and Dani never wants to discuss them or any of the issues at hand. It’s so messy.
yup, this
Totally they’re not communicating in general and in this scene Dani should’ve not pushed ahead without actually talking
Not Bette being lauded for her restraint in a post-Gigi-saying-wait world. Gigi deserves better, but this three days of dating or whatever has done more for Bette than most of her long-term relationships. Love that Pippa hits that sweet spot of calling her on her bullshit and also being an art simp and also wearing overalls.
My friends are going to get so tired of me sending rambling snapchats about the milf count of this season, but Lenore was a very welcome surprise.
I’m very emo for Finley and I long for the day when Sophie gets out of her own way, taps into some Fin-spired willingness to looking like an asshole or a fool if it means being honestly happy, and chooses Finley for real.
In the meantime, Sophie is not even being a good friend to Finley and, yeah, Finley’s…Finley…but she’s earnest and Sophie, queen of asking for what she needs until and unless she thinks what she needs is a lil more complex than she can immediately put into words, should at least be honest with her.
Micah drafting and erasing his text to Maribel did not spark joy. We are asking for what we want this season and I want Micah to tell Maribel how he feels so that they can stop going on double dates unless and until they’re consciously coupled.
Love Angie being the only person in this small universe who thinks to get help if something bothers her rather than letting it fester and then trying to ignore/run/fuck/drink it away. Kids are the future.
Alice (loves Army now) and Tom: I’m into it. Something about him having a good memory for gossip and actually knowing how to get Alice talking without letting her slip and slide or deflect her way out of it. Also he’s funny and I feel like constantly being the funniest person in every relationship you’ve been in is a little exhausting and Alice has held that mantle so tightly for so long. Let her share it for a while.
Shane and Tess were very cute and the moment they kissed was the spiritual equivalent of that slow-mo video where a guy shoots a bouncy ball towards a tall bouncy ball display cage in a walmart and then turns to the camera to celebrate his bucket but the ball misses completely and knocks down a passerby instead.
I don’t know if you missed it, Riese, but Finley stopped at a liquor store and went inside. So now the narrative is that Sophie caused her to relapse? Le sigh. Gen Q is so melodramatic in a way that the original just wasn’t.
That said! This was the best written episode of the season so far and maybe of the sequel series. Everything made sense narratively, lol. Low bar but they cleared it!
I did catch it! It’s noted at the end in my summation of the ending musical montage. I think Finley was drinking last episode too but this seems like… it’s gonna be a bender. Which I do not like!!!
Yep, I remember her having a beer in a scene where she explicitly said she got sober. I don’t like a relapse for Finley either but I hope it develops into her having a storyline of her own rather than merely reacting to Sophie.
Finley is still just very immature, and like many of us a bit damaged. I truly think she’s the catalyst for kid that lives inside Sophie, but she definitely not ready for a commitment.
And definitely not with Sophie. I wish their friendship wasn’t tarnished by their fling last season. It was so genuine & pure. We saw Finley in a very mature & empathetic light until … And who actually shows up at the church? Not sure what we were supposed to believe about her excuse for that one.
But if there was any thought last season of her being a younger version of Shane … I believe Shane was never close to Finley’s childish and uninspired persona.
I like Sophie and Dani and I just wish communication was better between the characters.
I enjoy the drama but not when a simple sentence could resolve an entire issue… it just serves to make something trivial drag on & on while there are so many more interesting aspects we could be engulfed in.
The original wasn’t as melodramatic? I think it was more-so in many ways..
I don’t think I will ever stop cringing at the thought of almost every scene I can’t FORCE myself to forget with the Jenny character.
Talk about melodramatic. From Circus nightmares to Pool Party Drowning … OY!
I do think this season is low and slow on the sexual side. The sex scenes are barely long enough to feel the passion igniting before we’re off to the next scene. The original L Word was wonderful, and the first season of Gen Q had promise.
All in all, I’m so glad they’re back, and grateful for carrying on with the same characters while adding new interesting layers & personalities.
Will there be any sexual encounters onscreen with Tina & Carrie? Maybe I’d believe the relationship is more life partners & less mother/daughter if we saw some sexual passion …
(or tension) … btwn them?
Anyone…?
Whaaaa? Am I the only one that thinks the original was INSANELY melodramatic?!
Omg, glad you mentioned Dan Foxworthy, it’s all I could think about with all the talk about therapy and Bette and Tina going together. I guess there are now three therapists in LA – Dan, Nat, and Micah!
Also really appreciate the level of detail in the callbacks – the caption that name dropped CORE killed me.
thank u i love to do a callback!!!!! callbacks are my passion
Yesss! Dan Foxworthy was such a joke. Worst. Therapist. Ever.
We want Tasha back!!!
The biggest discussion topic between wife + I during this episode was trying to piece together Bette’s timeline of artist obsessions. In season 2 of the original series she was all about her obsession with Allen Barnes at Yale, but from the sounds of it, the Pippa obsession must have been before that if it caused her to change majors, but it sounds like it lasted a while so there must have been an overlap?
But surely it’s not possible to be obsessed with two slightly older female artists at the same time!! How would you schedule breaking into multiple artists’ hideouts? Seem implausible to me, in this otherwise continuity-rich production.
Also, so happy for the return of Lenore! I really hope every episode involves some kind of exchange where Alice is trying to keep Shane away from her.
Right, I was like, this is definitely not the first artist she has credited with transforming her entire life forever. College Bette was very busy having her entire life transformed by various underrated artists
BUT THIS LAKE HOUSE HAS NO LAKE
how is this recap perfect from the start?????
Petition for Erin Daniels to play a new character like they suggested in Pants! Dana was the best and we miss her.
What is Pants! ?
kate and leisha’s podcast
i don’t listen to that podcast so idk what they said about it, but that would be so funny, just having someone like…… be played by erin daniels but nobody even points out that she looks just like dana
YES!!! They joked about her showing up as a new love interest for Alice and being the complete opposite of Dana, hating tennis, etc, and Alice wouldn’t see the resemblance (but I guess in their version the other characters would). Anyway, I miss Dana and Erin Daniels and I would take absolutely any scenario in which she got to come back. The Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern (I love this) does not fill the void.
You should have a listen, it used to be just random conversations but now they’re recapping the original L word (maybe inspired by you?) and giving some behind the scenes deets
Oh no I would love to hear your thoughts on it!
Did…did I actually almost cry at the call back scenes about Carmen and Dana? Could it be that I have an emotional connection to the OG series? Incredible.
Also, Gigi is so hot. I can’t get over it. I won’t.
Micahbel is all I see, and all I see is Michabel!!
This was my favourite episode of the season so far, because it all made sense!! And it was h o t! The Bette and Pippa dinner really had me.
I think this was my favorite episode of the season so far! It felt a little more internally consistent (timelines notwithstanding) and the drama/setup for drama was *juicy* without making me want to rip my hair out for once
I was a little confused after the Tess/Shane kiss though. It sounded like after Tess said she was seeing someone, she then said her sponsor told her she shouldn’t get into anything right now? Did I mishear her? Because that’s two very different things!
Also good luck with the Porter-Kennard family therapy to Micah, who I’m fairly certain is not trained in family therapy??
Same, I was like which is it?
i also do not understand the grounds of tess’s withdrawal, I am a bit hazy on it tbh
Yep … I had to play that back, too …talk about mixed messages.
Oh and how is it on the same day that Dani asked Sophie if she could make the last couple of months disappear (or go away) …. but in last weeks episode Alice & Nat break up and this morning Alice spent the NIGHT OF THE BREAK UP at Bette’s house …? I don’t get it. Who’s editing this? It’s definitely weeks because Micah said Dani hasn’t been seen or heard from … But the Alice break up part being the same day makes ZERO sense.
Was Finley ever shown to be interested in soccer/coaching last season? That detail really seemed to come out of nowhere but maybe I’ve forgotten a previous reference.
The plot with Shane and Tess and A Certain Someone may be a bridge too far even for this show. (What ever happened to the teen daughter who deluded herself into thinking she was dating Shane?)
If Gigi doesn’t end up with someone worthy of her by the time Jordi is crowned Prom Queen I will be very disappointed.
Loved this episode and recap! And also, just chiming in to say that I’ll never not appreciate a Tegan and Sara reference.
Riese, these recaps are positively delightful. I don’t even watch this show, but your writing is just so full of glee and snark – I love it.
i’ll be honest I do not like sophie very much rn. You know what’s confusing, why so much of the focus is on Finley stopping the wedding and not the fact that SOPHIE CHEATED AND WAS PREPARED TO LIE AND COVER IT UP FOREVER. like that’s fucked up. So i’m very confused why everyone is more upset that the wedding got cancelled than sophie cheating. Last episode i was like oh i still want sinley to happen but now i dont think so. finley deserves better!
I was sooo disappointed that tess is seeing someone. I literally jumped out of my chair when they kissed and was immediately brought to earth.
Lastly, I missed Gigi this episode :(
Just so I’m clear, you don’t like Sophie because she cheated, but you’re fine with Tess and Shane getting together even though Shane fucked Tess’s gf? lol.
Your take aligns with the way the show is written, if it’s any consolation.
Even though I don’t want Sophie and Dani to get back together (so many relationship issues and mismatch), I enjoyed their rekindling in this episode because it felt more real to life… the messy, ambivalent, uncomfortable confronting of people whose lives were enmeshed, who still know each other so well. Even if all those old behaviors are still coming out (like Dani not stopping when Sophie asked to).
On a related note that I haven’t seen remarked on in these (wonderful) recaps (thank you Reice!): In the wake of Sophie’s betrayal (why not just tell Finley the truth? Like she’s not going to find out, especially when they all live together?), I’m hoping future episodes may bring up Finley’s childhood/home context. There were a lot of references in her conversations with Rebecca in S1, but then the fact that she went home (for… a couple months? unclear) and then returned to LA went completely unremarked. I can’t imagine being back at home was easy, given what little details we know. But she presents it like it was neutral (in her conversation with Shane and Tess), when it seems more realistic to me that she would be grappling with that past and her present life in LA simultaneously?
AGREE. Finley has kinda been reduced to just the Sophie drama this season. There is so much potential for depth and nuance (family, religion/spirituality, personal growth) — and I want to see it happen!
@riese is someone plagiarizing these recaps!?
https://youtu.be/jPeSnD8U0g8
What the heck?!