“To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 303: Lobsters

It’s time for another riveting episode of your favorite podcast, “To L and Back”! I’m gonna start doing the weekly posts on Autostraddle about the podcast a little differently going forward. For Season Three, I started posting out-of-context screenshots to announce each post on our very popular instagram account. I can only post ten on Insta but going forward will present the full bounty (which is generally more like 15) for you here. You can still find the podcast index at the bottom of each post.

A nun riding on a charter bus, wearing nun attire and her mouth slightly open, saying "blessed are you among women." Another nun sits asleep next to her.

Shane stands in the skate shop, wearing a red t-shirt underneath a black blazer. Carmen is standing behind her. Carmen found a vest and says to Shane, "I could totally gig in this vest."

Tina (wearing a white blouse) stands with her back to Bette, who looks angry and is holding Angie. Bette says to Tina, "You know, this is the new McCarthyism," referring to the government trying to censor her beloved art.

Kit and Billy stand in the planet. Kit is wearing a white v-neck shirt and Billy is wearing a white tank top with a skinny white fashion scarf. Billy says to Kit, "Those lactose-intolerant lesbians."

Jenny stands excitedly in the drive way next to a big pick-up truck, with Max standing behind her. Shane (wearing a red t-shirt with her back to the camera) has just arrived, and Jenny shouts excitedly, "Wha-hoo!"

Helena and Tina stand in a big film studio with directors chairs and spotlights shining on a backdrop of clouds. Helena is detailing the success of her publishing company, saying that "We have Styron, Didion, Joyce Carol Oates, Nabokov."

Shane and Carmen sit at the kitchen table inside Shane's house. Max stands next to them. Max has just given Shane and Carmen a present, a jar that is labeled "Cow's Balls". Max takes a ball out of the jar and pops it into his mouth, as Carmen asks skeptically, "Cow's Balls?"

A cardboard cutout of Dana (wearing a purple "Olivia" shirt) sits at a table that is set with wine, flowers, and salad. Alice's massive Our Chart is hanging on the wall in the background. Alice is off screen except for her hand, which is pouring a glass of wine. Alice says, "Did you change your hair?"

Alice (wearing a very 2000s purple and gray striped polo shirt and enormous brown corduroy bag) stands at the counter of a pharmacy. She is anxiously awaiting the pharmacist to retrieve her new meds. A young red-head boy (wearing a green and yellow t-shirt) says to her, "I snort mine."

Lara and Dana, sitting next to each other in a restaurant, look directly at each other. Lara says, "the urge is so powerful"

A picture of a fancy restaurant menu, zoomed in on the top Entrée, titled "Palate Cleanser - Liquid Nitrogen." The item description reads, "Parfait of green tea, lime, vodka, poached in liquid nitrogen cleanser to clean the palate as you brush your teeth. Toothpaste leaves fats on your tongue, this sensational twist to a cleanser revitalises your taste buds to prepare you for your dining experience. $12"

Max (formerly known as Moira) sits in a restaurant. The camera is zoomed in on his face with lots of lens flares. Max says, "back in my dyke community in Wilmette"

Bette (wearing a purple cocktail dress) sits to the left of Tina (also wearing a purple cocktail dress, but darker than Bette's). Bette says, "I bought some Balenciaga boots"

The whole gang sits at a candle-lit restaurant table, everyone eating their respective dinners. Max says "I know something interesting about lobsters."

In order from left to right, Dana, Carmen, Shane, and Alice sit at a restaurant dinner table. Shane says, "I wouldn't necessarily call Moira a stone butch."


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Riese is the 40-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3002 articles for us.


  1. Excellent podcast for a truly cringey episode!
    I did want to point out, however, that Shane is NOT wearing a shirt with a picture of herself on it. It’s actually Iggy Pop (his name and Lust For Life are on the back).
    To be fair, Iggy was looking Very Shane Today!

  2. Hey! No idea if you see comments on an old post. Just writing in to say SOME psychiatrists are terrible and do prescribe lithium to people who are depressed. I was soooo over medicated as a kid and it was a total bummer. I’m glad meds have helped you both though!

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