Callie attends a custody hearing with a judge and Stef and Lena and Robert and Sophia and Jill. Just an old white man deciding her entire fate after listening to testimony from a dozen people who aren’t her. Welcome to being a woman in America, Callie! The judge says Callie can stay with Lena and Stef until the season finale, but she has to hang out with the Quinns at least every other episode. Callie says fine, she’ll do that, but only with Robert and definitely not with Sophia, who seems like maybe she’s got some stuff going on that her parents need to pay attention to, instead of focusing on Callie.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” “That we should buy a second helicopter?” “Yes!”

Dance Regionals are full of drama! For one thing, the group’s leader wants to pull Mariana’s solo after rearranging everyone’s solos just yesterday! Well, but Tia’s not having that dictatorial garbage! She quits, on Mariana’s behalf! But Mariana does not quit! Instead, she uses her superbrain to do complicated geometry on the fly to compensate for losing a team member in their dance configuration! She keeps her solo! She nails it! They win Regionals!

#EndOfMen

But see, Mariana was playing the long game. She read the rules because of her superbrain and the rules say a team is qualified for Nationals even if only one dancer was on the Regionals team, so she’s gonna start her own team with Tia. (And makeout with her, fingers crossed.)

Better.

Best.

Everyone cheers in the audience, except for:

Jesus, who skipped the competition to go support Anna at AA, where he found out she is pregnant with a baby and that’s how come she finally got clean.

And Callie, who is working at the food truck, where Sophia finds her and threatens to kill herself if Callie won’t be her full-time sister. Callie thinks she’s full of shit, so she turns around to do her server-type duties — and Sophia walks right the hell out into traffic and causes a pileup of cars. Holy Degrassi, Sophia! What the shit! Her parents come running, of course, and she weaves a yarn about how she fought with Callie and was too upset to pay attention to the dozens of vehicles whizzing by. It seems like Callie is going to let her lie go unchecked, but at the last second, she tells them the truth.

That is so weird. Even the inside of your nose looks like mine.

We’re sestras! I told you!

This girl who plays Sophia is really great. Her eyes just go dead and she’s like, “I can’t handle life anymore. Sometimes I just want to be not alive.” It could come off really melodramatic and manipulative, this whole thing, but instead it’s super sad and true to life. Robert breaks down when Jill takes Sophia to the car, and Callie puts her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

At home, Stef and Lena look every one of their kids in the eyes over and dinner and tell them if they ever get lost in the fog of depression, or if they ever feel like all their hope is gone, they have to come to them so they can help them. It’s a tough conversation and the show doesn’t ease up on it by being self-deprecating or lightening the mood with a joke. It’s a hard, uncomfortable thing to talk about, but we have to talk about it. And as a person who has struggled with depression her whole life, and whose life has been changed forever by a loved one committing suicide, I really, really appreciate this frankness. It’s brave to let that sit in the air for such a pronounced beat.

And, look, if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or know someone who is, reach out for help. Do it over the phone or on the internet or through text message or whatever. Just do it. There’s no one in the world more you-er than you; and we need you!

Guess I’ll go outside and listen to Brandon chide me for not being able to commit to things now. Can’t imagine why it’s hard for me to COMMIT to things.

Jesus lies about why he missed Regionals, Brandon tries to convince his moms to let him go on a band tour this summer, and Callie and Brandon decide to call it quits again. I don’t know where Jude is, and neither does Lena; she just wants to break down the pillow wall and make-up with her wife. Or, hells bells, man, maybe she just wants a bubble bath and a nap. I’ll bet she feels like she’s been stuck in a crowd with people firing cannons at her all day. I’ll bet she feels like she’s trapped in some lightning crossfire. Someone should write a song about it.

Clear eyes, full hearts, I took down the pillow wall.

Next week: Lena explains to Mariana why boys aren’t good enough for her, and Rapunzel tries to get Callie to run away with him again.

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