The Comment Awards Are Thirty Going on Thirteen

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Good morning, shamrocks! We’re got just a few days left to celebrate Autostraddle’s 13th birthday with a membership or donation! For my 13th birthday, I had a party where I received eight (8) identical gift sets from Bath and Body Works, my friends and I sang along to Chumbawamba, and my goth friend gave my Christian friend a whole entire makeover, complete with black eyeliner, a black velvet top from my closet, and a choker. How did YOU celebrate 13?

This week, Carmen would like to know: have you considered 90s Angelina Jolie?

Much like my actual adolescence, 13 Going on 30 was…kinda gay, actually.

Another spring, another set of crafts Vanessa didn’t try during the winter but will probably definitely get to next year!

Oh WOW, this resonated: Being or Becoming Real.

Em helped a reader who can’t quite find their vibe.

Yashwina spoke to Melissa Febos about her new book, Bodywork. This was so good!!!

There has never been a better time to join A+, because you! Too! Could set up the brackets for Autostraddle’s March Madness!

Hahaha oh wow pals we are so gay: The Gayest Things You Did at 13. This list will give me life FOREVER.

And then there were your comments!


On Have You Considered… Angelina Jolie in the 90s?

The Geocities, Gia Cities Award to Brandi:

I once had an Angelina Jolie geocities fan page. I even got a Cease and Desist letter from some movie company because I posted a script. I can’t tell you the amount of times I watched Gia, Foxfire, Hackers, etc… I had so many photos of her saved.

On The 30 Gayest Things About the Supposedly Straight Rom-Com “13 Going On 30”:

The 30, Flirty and…Isolating Award to Em:

I’m still upset the pandemic (and the onslaught of winter holidays but that’s normal) made me unable to host an inspired 30-flirty-and-thriving party. I guess I have the rest of the decade to do something 🤔

On Crafts I Intended To Try This Winter but Now It’s Almost Spring so I Guess I’ll Put Them Off for Another Year:

The Mostly Dead Things Award to Sollemnia and Iarran mé:

When I read the Making Miniatures, Specifically Miniature Breakfast Food header I thought you meant actually edible miniature food – like, half an egg on a teeny bit of toast. I thought “oh, that would be very Martha Stewart of her, yes”. That the food would be made out of clay makes much more sense lmao but I’d also like to throw Making Tiny Food for No Reason into the ring. I am also a knitter! I would also like to get into needlepoint and embroidery, but also crochet. And most of all: taxidermy. There was a Martha Stewart Living photo essay circa…I want to say October 2015, and it had these glorious spreads of various taxidermy animals set up in little tableaus. You might be thinking: “Sollemnia, you literally don’t know how to cut your own food and you’ve never used a chemical stronger than turpentine. How the fuck are you going to preserve a whole animal?” And you would be right to think that!!! But someday I’m gonna be a sexy spinster with a house full of ethically sourced dead ravens AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

<a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://www.autostraddle.com/as-members/queergirl/' rel='nofollow' data-recalc-dims=@queergirl Comment award! I can’t decide whether it should be the “That Escalated Quickly” for “And most of all: taxidermy” or the “A Girl Can Dream” for “someday I’m gonna be a sexy spinster with a house full of ethically sourced dead ravens AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME.” Either way, Sollemnia, I don’t know you but I love you." width="747" height="324" srcset="https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-17-at-10.47.37-AM.png?w=747 747w, https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screen-Shot-2022-03-17-at-10.47.37-AM.png?w=640 640w" sizes="(max-width: 747px) 100vw, 747px" />

On “Astrid & Lilly Save the World” and Crush on Girls:

The I Feel Seen Award to Sasha:

This show might be my “first time I saw myself represented in media” deal. It has such heart and loves its characters. The comparisons to Buffy don’t do it justice because unlike Buffy it has respect for the characters and the audience. It feels so true to being a weird fat teen. I hope more people find this show because it is just so cute, heartfelt and goofy.

On Melissa Febos on “Body Work,” Medieval Women, and First Drafts:

The Mystics, Avengers and Nuns, Oh My Award to Gina and Iarran mé:

ok so a new life goal is to see an avengers reboot populated entirely by medieval nuns and mystics. heloise and catherine of siena having VERY CONFUSING feelings for each other! hildegard and julien being aggressively nice to margery because they feel bad for rolling their eyes every time she turns her back! joan of arc showing up and starting a fight club because why the hell not? i didn’t know i wanted this but now it’s everything i ever needed also this book has been on my radar for a while and i’m very excited for a new addition to the febosverse 😊

On No Filter: “What Is Ashley Benson Doing Right Now?” Is Something I Wonder Often:

The Better to Have Loved and Lost Award to vavavoom:

Christina don’t tell me about collecting vintage 😭 One time I found an actual Thierry Mugler purple two-piece skirt suit for 25€ !!! It was so gorgeous and wacky ! I wore it six or seven times…then broke the skirt zipper. The fabric was too thin and the skirt impossible to repair. One of my biggest fashion heartbreaks !

And on The Gayest Things You Did at 13:

The Bosom Friends Award to Ally and Phibley:

I also got to those and related hard. I think i told my (evangelical Christian) best friend that I loved her around that age and defended it as ‘Like in Anne of Green Gables’. We are, surprisingly, still friends even though I am very out as being queer and she’s still heavily involved in the church.


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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

Darcy has written 332 articles for us.

8 Comments

  1. I’m loving all this 13th Birthday energy. Mine was… not very memorable but I’m sure there are some lovely, awkward pictures at my parents’ house that might jog my memory. I’ll have to look the next time I go over there 😂

    • oooh

      ok i’ve got a question for you, what video game were you playing at 13? i think we’d just bought Riven and I was doing exactly what I’d done with Myst — running around exploring the environment without any clue how to play the game lol

      • This is such a mood! When I turned 13 I played a bunch of Sega Genesis games (since I bought one with my lawnmowing & babysitting earnings from the prev. summer). At that point it would’ve been mostly Sonic The Hedgehog 2 🦔🦊💎 and Jurassic Park 🏃🏼‍♀️💥🦕🦖

        On our (still very new!) computer, I played a ton of Windows 3.1 Solitaire, a very basic flight sim called Jetfighter II, and my prized game at the time: Lemmings 2. Those latter two games came on floppy disks which I still have! 💾

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