The Babadook or Cuca: More Internet Haikus

feature image via Sítio do Picapau Amarelo youtube

well, LGBTs
the babadook or cuca
i’m going cuca

the floor is good takes
*business insider jump splits*
*forbes runs up the wall*

are millennials
killing the sport of baseball
and other bad things

that’s my favorite part
like blood diamonds and tide pods
are on par with bees

what layer of hell
is craigslist’s housing section
what penance is owed

best reply caption
and it works with everything
is just the word ‘why’

aggregated posts
they’re a bold look to be sure
free labor’s en vogue

could aggregation
work in academia
oh is that research

here’s a fun idea
mass text your tinder matches
boom, pop up gay bar

what wouldn’t age well
in the modern meme era
are the ‘got milk?’ ads

it’s adorable
people hearting to and fro
like it’s not public

that age old question
of can you ever go home
but for logging off

are there loyalists
like “i’m team common white girl”
and “no i’m dory”

what would you rather
instagram habits revealed
or bank account drained

the silver lining
of the new state of twitter
is i work out now

stress exercising
thanks, internet news cycle
would buy from again

when you think you’re slick
and your date sends a screenshot
of your latest tweet

what’s going to happen
when 4-5 hits 69
you’re all in my thoughts

amazon wish list
link in bio kind of girls
you inspire me

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


    • Hahahah… I was so confused about seeing Cuca cause I was sure she was Brazilian, but I missed the whole meme, so I started to think maybe Americans also had her as a kid… it was a trip, but I’m so here for this meme

      • There are more, like the smiling/frowning guy in a green shirt (singer Chico buarque)

  1. I’m not good at haikus, so here’s a lymric.

    I’m here for this gay babadook,
    The thought has left me quite shook,
    A gay horror icon,
    That has me leave the lights on,
    Please don’t leave me forsook

  2. I love these and was inspired to write some myself (they just aren’t as good at all, but I have to post them here, bc if not here, where?):

    – I’m too insecure / to date unenthused texters / exclamation points!

    – two questions emailed / so why only answer one? / makes it p awkward

    – you insta three pics / all at once! What do I do / like all, look obsessed?

    – phone awake in hand / what will I like by mistake / a timeless cheap thrill

    – better get married / before the hashtags run out / hot commodities

    – ‘you up’ lost meaning / in the age of messenger / fuck a ‘last active…’

  3. I just wanted to say that as a child I had a birthday party with a Cuca theme. She was wearing my favorite soccer teams jersey too. That is all

    • (now i’ve fulfilled me being-a-smart-arse quota for the day, this was a hilarious article and i loved all of them, especially the stress exercising ones because i can RELATE)

  4. …but this actually inspired me to host a Queer Conquest. Finally a use for my tinder….

  5. Poetry is lost on me, but I too felt moved by the magical lesbian love child Calliope and Thalia

    LeAnn Rimes(employed by pride?)
    a sign of the times(pay gap so wide!)

  6. Every time I read these I think “this is the best one of the post” and then I read the next one and think the same thing just “this is the best one” on loop

Comments are closed.