The Anti-Gays Must Be Crazy

Right now you’re probably calmly living your regular gay life, just being gay and making out with gay people and having lunch or supper or you’re riding a bike or going bra shopping while meanwhile you are also ruining the world.

1. In Which Pat Robertson Links Homosexuality to Abortion


Pat Robertson, this cranky old rich white man who says terrible things on the teevee, spoke recently on his program The 700 Club (which is named for the fact that its existence makes me 700 times crazier than normal) about Planned Parenthood funding and Obama’s “culture of death.” Apparently, pro-choice activists aren’t motivated by, you know, a belief that a woman should have the right to choose what she does to her own body but that  “they want to put lesbians and straight women on a level playing field.”

Pat Robertson: “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?”

No worries Pat — thanks to people like you, lesbians aren’t exactly the most advantaged population in the U.S.

Aside from the fact that his argument is clearly wrong, I don’t understand the argument he’s making here at all. Do you?

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2. In Which Prop 8 Activists Use Bigotry to Promote Bigotry Cause Gay Judges Can’t Judge

The Anti-Equality people have filed a motion to vacate Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling because when he goes home after work and gets into bed, there is a man lying there with all his man-parts and man-thoughts. Here’s how they phrased that:

Given that Chief Judge Walker was in a committed, long-term, same-sex relationship throughout this case (and for many years before the case commenced), it is clear that his “impartiality might reasonably [have been] questioned” from the outset. He therefore had, at a minimum, a waivable conflict and was obligated either to recuse himself or to provide “full disclosure on the record of the basis for disqualification,” so that the parties could consider and decide, before the case proceeded further, whether to request his recusal. His failure to do either was a clear violation of Section 455(a), whose “goal … is to avoid even the appearance of partiality.”

This is gross and non-sensical, as it “relies on the same faulty argument put forth originally in defense of Prop 8: The qualitative judgment that same-sex relationships are inferior,” says The Washington Post. Firstly, if you argue it’s his relationship status (which, again, is irrelevant) is the real problem here then would it be okay for a Judge to rule if he had just started dating someone? What if he sort of had a crush on his gay best friend but hadn’t told him yet? What if he had a sweet one night stand last night and felt like true love? What if he was dating two guys but just couldn’t make up his mind on who he liked better? That’s not for us to evaluate, obviously. It’s his private life.

Greg Sargent for The Washington Post:

The problem is that this same logic could be applied to a straight, married judge hearing the case. After all, supporters of the same-sex marriage ban are arguing that marriage equality is so damaging to the institution of marriage that the government has a vital interest in making sure gays and lesbians can’t get married. That means that a straight, married judge couldn’t be expected to be impartial, either — after all, according to supporters of Prop 8, “the further deinstitutionalization of marriage caused by the legalization of same-sex marriage,” would directly impact married heterosexuals. Therefore, a heterosexual, married judge could be seen as having just as much “skin in the game” as Judge Walker.

In a worth-reading Atlantic piece on Why the New Prop 8 Argument is Bogus– and Offensive, Andrew Cohen points out: “No reasonable person in America today would challenge a black judge by claiming he could not fairly judge a civil rights case. No reasonable person in America today would challenge a female judge claiming she could not fairly judge a case about women’s health. “

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3. In Which Pro-Equality Judges Can’t Judge

Iowa House Republicans filed four articles of impeachment for the members of the Iowa Supreme Court who were part of a legislative ban on same-sex marriage. This isn’t gonna work, but do these guys need a hobby or something? What is the point of this.

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4. In Which Nice People in Toledo Made Us This Nice Billboard From G-d and all hope is not lost:

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

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74 Comments

    • I got really excited when it said a church in Ohio is gay friendly then I scroll down and it is in Toledo where I live!

      Side Note: I just got a new part time job at a fast food place just to make some money to fund my aspirations of studying abroad and today was my first day and wow it was awful. The men refer to hot girls going through the drive thru (or through how should I spell this?) as “hoes.” They slapped one girl with a wet towel on her ass. Also one of their conversations went something like this “hows your girlfriend? (to the guy that was training me) ohh wait I mean boyfriend cause your a faggot. faggot. faggot. Apparently it was the word of the day. WHAT SHOULD I DO? deal with it or quit? I just wanted to see what other people’s opinions would be on this situation. This probably is not the right place to say this but I just needed to vent.

      • I don’t have an answer, but keep your eyes on the prize. When you’re thinking about how to approach this, put it into perspective as far as your path towards that goal of studying abroad.

      • You found some people that made you uncomfortable right off, but there is probably someone at your job who isn’t going to make your shifts awful. Try to find a friend and give it some time before you decide to quit. If leaving is really the right choice for you, you’ll figure it out soon enough. And get paid in the mean time.
        Studying abroad is amazing and if this helps you reach a goal that is important to you, you will find a way to make it happen. Good luck!

      • I would say stick it out unless (or until) you feel unsafe in that environment. Unless you end up really, really miserable, in which case, it’s time to find something else to pay the bills.

      • I say that instead of quitting, you should at least say something. Show them how ignorant/stupid/offensive they are being. Beat ’em up verbally. Standing by and watching it happen isn’t going to make you feel any better. …But make sure you’re safe.

      • Sounds like sexual harassment. I would stick it out and gather evidence against them, especially if they start saying stuff like that to you. Write down everything they say, and get videos if you can. Then you, and everyone else they treat like that can sue them or something. (Disclaimer: I know nothing about suing people/lawyers/harassment, so probs don’t take my advice)

  1. This is the only time I’ve ever thought “I’d like to live in Ohio”.

    I like nice people.

    • This is the first time I’ve ever thought, “I’m a tad proud to live in Ohio”

      Now only if I didn’t live on the other side of the state.

  2. You know what I just love – how all these homophobic pricks rage something awful about the gays constantly shoving our big gay relationships/agendas down their throats…and NOW they’re trying to file a motion accusing people of being quiet about it!

    The hypocrisy…I can’t. It hurts my lady brain.

  3. Oh wow, it is just too easy to link all social maladies to the gays. First we caused the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, then hurricane Katrina, now pro-choice ideals. We’re the worst.

  4. Can God’s next gift to me be that poncho jacket thing? I’ll even settle for a couple pieces of flair.

  5. Most of this made me sad, bit the Central United Methodist Church made my day. I hope those guys know how how much happiness that sign is going to bring people.

  6. I gotta say, the Methodist church is making some nice strides. I grew up in that church (though now I’m more of an agnostic who secretly wants to be jewish) and my parents still attend. According to my mom, the pastor devotes a lot of sermon time to equality issues and they’ve even started an inclusion project called The Reconciling Task force which is a big committee whose ENTIRE point is to welcome gays into the church community and work with other Methodist churches to do the same. Pretty sweet.

    • Are you me? I was raised Methodist too, and now I’m more interested in Judaism but won’t convert because I’m agnostic. If you’re not me, you should be my new best friend.

  7. Best response yet to the prop 8 activists:

    “I’ve gone from seeing this as an offensive argument grounded in thinly disguised antigay prejudice to appreciating the awesome consequences it would have for jurisprudence. The US Supreme Court regularly decides cases that address the rights that all Americans have. So in order to make sure that those decisions were made by impartial justices, we’d have to put foreigners whose rights wouldn’t be affected on the Supreme Court. But that might not be enough. Since some Supreme Court decisions address the human rights of both Americans and foreigners, impartiality requires that we assign those decisions to animal judges.”
    Courtesy of http://www.donkeylicious.com/2011/04/proposition-8-and-animal-judges.html.

    Seriously, some of these prop 8 people are fucking idiots!

  8. These jerk-offs are just scared. Scared of women and even more scared of lesbians. Why? Because they can’t control women anymore (they don’t even get the chance to try to control lesbians). End of story. The republicans are losing their damn minds because the world has changed and is changing, and they can’t handle it.

  9. Pat Robertson: “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?”

    Is it me, or does that sound like that awful discussion question someone came up with, and then everyone got a really bad grade because it is an unarguable position?

  10. Dare I add one more instance of pure idiocy?

    “The Texas House of Representatives has passed a budget bill that would require any public college with a student center on “alternative” sexuality to provide equal funding to create new centers to promote ‘traditional values.” The people behind this legislation are hoping to indirectly cut funding for LGBTQ programs, as funding for the “traditional” centers will need to come from the same funds.

    What a pity for straight people. Where else would they turn for support and acceptance?

    http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2011/04/25/texas_house_votes_to_require_colleges_with_sexuality_centers_to_promote_traditional_values_too

    • No surprise at all that the bill passed, but still sad.

      In happy news, Texas A&M’s student body president vetoed the student senate’s bill which stated that the university officially supports the actual budget bill. Turns out, even a bunch of straight, conservative students think this whole thing is stupid. Not that the university’s opinion matters at all, but it’s nice to know that at least some of my classmates care about LGBT stuff and recognize the BS which passes as our state government.

  11. I can’t friggin wait to see that church’s float at Toledo Pride, if such a thing exists.

  12. America I love you but you’re bringing me down. I’ve always wondered why the anti gays are so obsessed with us all, it must be because they either want to be us or sleep with us….well, we can only assume, because that’s the only thing that makes sense given the level of their obsession!

    • he’s not too good at biology then, it’s not like being a lesbian makes your uterus magically stop working

    • Because abortion makes you sterile and lesbians NEVER get pregnant or have abortions…right? I think this old man’s brain is shriveled. I bet it looks like a little raisin inside his massive head.

      • For some reason Autostraddle mobile has a character limit for comments…? Just want to say a last thing.

        Conversely he means that married straight women are expected to give birth to babies. Wtf? As if the women have nothing else to do because they always live happily ever after, Disney style huh?

        When I actually try to think about what these people are saying/doing, it’s mind-blowing. Like, I want to shoot my head.
        >_<
        But then they win so no can do.

        • Another thing, I love it because he’s basically implying the lesbians are jealous because the straight ladies are having all the babies. BUT if we want babies so badly, why did all of us “choose” the gay “lifestyle”? OH RIGHT WE ACTUALLY JUST REALLY WANNA KILL BABIES. So. beyond. ridiculous.

          • I read his gibberish as implying that women are choosing teh gey lifestyle because we avoid baby-makin’ (in that the “advantage/deficiency” in being a lesbian is the shame of not being mothers and avoiding the True Blessings of Jeebus) because clearly that’s the only reason we avoid the Almighty Penis.

            My interpretation makes as much sense as what he said, so take that as you will.

  13. Am I the only one who read #1 as Robert Pattinson?

    “1. In Which Pat Robertson Links Homosexuality to Abortion”

    Dyslexia much?

  14. Oh man this SUCKS but that first picture is hilarious!

    Also, “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman?” – I think his opposition to gay marriage must stem from the fact that if he added “married lesbians” to his rhetorical question, his brain would explode.

  15. Dammit, I read ‘Robert Pattinson’ and was very confused as to why Cedric Diggory had suddenly decided to make statements on abortion.

  16. RE: Linking homosexuality to abortions.

    I mean, that’s basically the reason I decided to be gay

    I was hoping it could also get rid of my periods but I asked the headgay unicorn and she said that’s not how it works

    • No, for that you take the little white pills that look like breath mints. Don’t worry, modern medicine has you covered!

  17. Since we’re apparently having this debate, I’d like to throw in the argument that straight judges can’t rule on gay issues, because they have no concept of what it’s like to be gay.

    #andiwonderwhyifeelcrazymostdays

    • I would agree with you if you had said “straight judges have no concept of what it’s like to live in today’s society identifying as gay.” But I’ve been convinced that regardless of our orientation, we all have the basic concept of sexual attraction, and of course whatever is the opposite of that. So the concept of what it is like to be gay is something that happens within a person, and laws, the government, and what other people think, have nothing to do with it. This also happens for straight people. I guess a simple way to describe it is: a straight person didn’t decide to be straight because there was a law about it, right? Same for gay people.

      • I wasn’t specific enough, because I actually did mean “what it’s like to live in today’s society identifying as gay.”

        Either way though, I was being sarcastic. It’s a ridiculous notion just like the idea that Judge Walker should have recused himself, because he is gay is ridiculous. Also – for the record – while a straight judge may not have first-hand experience as to what it’s like to be gay in our society, he or she could still have a general idea through education on the subject.

  18. The first couple made me sputtering crazy, which is bad, but that last picture made me smile so much. It’s now my desktop background. Look at the happy smiling old lady! Doesn’t she make you feel better?

  19. Did anyone else see Beverly Mcclellen sing on The Voice tonight? WHAT A BADASS BITCH and so lovable. How can anyone h8 when she sings like a golden goddess and looks so amazing? So glad to see (I think there were two…) proud lezzers represent so well.

    The Anti-Gays ARE fucking crazy.

  20. I want that lady from Toledo that’s in that last picture to be my grandmother. My current one literally spat on me for being gay, I think I would like a surrogate, and one that smiles and thinks being gay is okay would be nice, in fact let me just go draft my personal ad now…

    • I can be your grandma. I mean, I’m probably younger than you, but I could knit socks for you and “secretly” give you a 20 everytime you come visit me, and I LOVE talking about the weather/

      • Offer accepted. :) You knit the socks, and I’ll send you the corny t-shirts from my summer vacations. <3

        • “How come you don’t visit me more often!? Everyone else here at the home gets to see their grandkids two, three times a month! But nooo, my little gaystar is too busy she can’t even pick up the phone to say ‘Hello’! Oyy!!”

  21. it makes me so sad that some people devote so much time effort and resources to hate. i wish they would look at countries that have anti hate legislation and some form of legalised gay marriage (though it aint perfect its getting there) and see that the sky hasnt fallen in and the counrty hasnt imploded. why are they SOOO obsessed? i feel so sad for american gays. and once again totally and utterly relieved to be british. (the nice church was nice tho)

  22. GO OHIO!

    too bad it’s in toledo though and I’m not in Ohio anymore (at school – I still love my state, it gets too much hate!)

  23. Dear Pat Robertson, you make no sense, sir. I will say that the concept of using nonexistent logic is an interesting contrast to your usual flawed one. The doctor will arrive in a minute.

    In other gay news: I just stitched a giant rainbow onto my girlfriend’s pants. It’s probably the gayest moment of my life.

  24. Hey! That’s awesome! I’m from Toledo. :)
    Now to drive around and find that sign/church.

  25. The most upsetting part of this for me is that I genuinely believed Pat Robertson had died like 3 years ago.

    I make a point not to wish anyone dead, but I don’t wish haters back from the dead and for me that is exactly what just happened.

    Oh well, yay Toledo.

    • I shouldn’t have laughed about that, but I did.

      Maybe you were thinking of Jerry Falwell. He died in 2007 – according to Wikipedia anyways.

  26. Funny thing. I read Pat Robertson as Robert Pattinson and then I was all like

    “Why does Cedric Diggory/Kristen Stewart’s beard hate the gays?”

    And then I actually read the article.

    • Edward Cullen is probably a pretty massive homophone he was born in like 1900. And Stephanie Meyer is a Mormon – a religious sector which, as I’m sure you know, doesn’t care too much for the gays.

      • Stephanie Meyer is pretty heinous. I live in washington and you cannot escape Twilight.

        I seriously hope, on a tangential note, that the quileute tribe can get their reservation moved because of all of the fame from Twilight. Right now most of the tribe is in a tsunami zone.

  27. lol, i just misread pat robertson as robert pattinson and at first i was like LOLWHAT but then i re-read and realized and am more like whatevs…

  28. “If a woman is a lesbian, what advantage does she have over a married woman? Or what deficiency does she have?”

    At first I thought he’s asking, “Is a lesbian any better or worse than a straight woman?” Well, no, because everyone’s awesome. Simple. But then I read ‘married woman’, so he’s asking “Is a lesbian any better or worse than a married woman?” Why would you even want to ask that? What if it’s a married lesbian woman? So now my head’s hurting, and it’s all my fault for trying to understand a crazy person.

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