Gay Teens Continue Getting Bullied, Committing Suicide: Seth Walsh, 13 and Tyler Clementi, 18, September’s Latest Victims

As you likely remember from uh, YESTERDAY, 13-year-old gay bullying victim Asher Brown shot himself on September 23rd after enduring endless tormenting at school, which was ignored by administrators and teachers despite the parents’ repeated complaints to the school about bullying.

Asher Brown, 13

Today, in even more terrible WHAT THE FUCK news, 13-year-old Seth Walsh, a gay California teen, has died after being taken off life support yesterday. Walsh attempted suicide on September 19th by hanging himself from a tree in his backyard; he had also endured relentless bullying for his homosexuality.

He was different. He knew he was different,” Seth’s mother, Judy Walsh said according to TehachapiNews.com. “He was a very loving boy, very kind. He had a beautiful smile. He liked fashion, his friends, talking on the phone. He was artistic and very bright.”

Seth Walsh, 13

As you may or may not remember, earlier this month, on September 9th, 15-year-old Billy Lucas, a high school freshman from Greensburg, Indiana, also hanged himself from a tree and died:

On Billy’s Facebook web memorial, he’s remembered with comments like, “Everyone made fun of him.” At least one former student says he made administrators aware of his own LGBT bullying, and they did nothing.

Billy Lucas, 15

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Today’s story is about an 18-year-old Rutgers freshman, Tyler Clementi, who brought a boy home for a “sexual encounter” one night only to find later that Clementi’s roommate, Dharun Ravi, 18, thought it would be super-fun to secretly record Clementi’s romp with a webcam and transmit it using iChat’s “Complete Asshole Heartless Douchebag” function, which works slightly better than “Send File.” No recordings of the act still exist — it a was a livestream feed, and it’s unclear how many people viewed it besides Ravi and his friend Molly Wei, also 18.

At 8:50 pm on September 22, Tyler Clementi, a talented violinist and all-around stand-up guy, posted “Jumping off the gw bridge sorry” on his facebook profile.

Then Tyler Clementi went to the George Washington Bridge and jumped off it.

Then he died.

Tyler Clementi, 18

Yup! Ravi, clearly attempting to scale the highest heights of douchebaggery possible, had announced the live-release of the video on his twitter feed, at which point I hope every single one of his followers wished there was a feature that was the opposite of Re-Tweet. Like De-Tweet or something?

In a bizarre twist, some intrepid homosexuals have found a forum on justusboys where a user named “cit2mo” started a thread on September 21st asking for advice on how to deal with his spying college roommate, with whom he shared a “shoebox” sized room.

The ensuing posts and conversation on the board match up precisely with the story of Tyler Clementi.

On the aforementioned chat board, which has now been closed pending confirmation of the IP address from which Tyler was posting, other posters offered advice ranging from revenge to legal action to speaking with an RA.

There were a few back-and-forths. On the morning of Tyler’s eventual suicide, cit2mo made his last posting, indicating that he had spoken to his RA. Abotu two hours prior, cit2mo had posted on the board to say that he’d had the boy over again and that he’d had a good time, but was concerned that his roommate had once again tried to broadcast the encounter (though this time, he failed).

Tyler was afraid that if he didn’t get to switch rooms, because that is a hard thing to do in college, that it would be total hell to live with this guy and Tyler would be even more humiliated than if he had just kept it to himself.

Here’s his last posting, talking about his conversation with the RA:

So what happened when Tyler talked to the RA? What happened that day between the morning after a positive sexual experience with a boy he liked and the moment he decided he couldn’t take it anymore? It feels intrusive to ask these questions but I guess these are the questions we ask, I suppose, because we  don’t want life to be like this. We don’t want death to be like this. The more we can understand about how life changes in the instant — the more we know what we can do to change it. Had he been depressed before? Was he out? Were his family and friends supportive?

It’s worth noting that Tyler’s body has not been found, but his car and driver’s license have been recovered. Witnesses say they saw a boy jump from the bridge at 9pm.

Both Ravi and 18-year-old Molly Wei have been charged with invasion of privacy, and Ravi has been charged with two additional counts for attempting to transmit another video of Clementi two days later.

Ravi’s friends attest that he was “not homophobic.”

Garden State Equality chairman Steven Goldstein released the following statement:

We are heartbroken over the tragic loss of a young man who, by all accounts, was brilliant, talented and kind. And we are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others’ lives as a sport.”

Goldstein says he considers the act a hate crime.

Under New Jersey Law, Ravi and Wei could serve sentences of up to five years as viewing images of someone nude or engaged in sexual content without their consent it is a fourth-degree crime, and collecting or distributing those images constitutes a third-degree crime. I think they probably both also qualify for a mandatory post-lifetime sentence in the innermost circle of hell?

So, this is pretty much all really sad & bad news.

Some facts about suicide from The Trevor Project:

♦ Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds, accounting for over 12% of deaths in this age group; only accidents and homicide occur more frequently (2006 National Adolescent Health Information)

♦ Suicide is the second leading cause of death on college campuses (2008 CDC).

♦ Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (Massachusetts 2007 Youth Risk Survey).

♦ More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempt (D’Augelli AR – Clinical Child Psychiatry and Psychology 2002)

♦ LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are more than 8 times as likely to have attempted suicide than LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection (Ryan C, Huebner D, et al – Peds 2009;123(1):346-352)

I don’t know what to say in the last paragraph of this post. I just don’t. I keep writing sentences and deleting them. That Green Day song “Wake Me Up When September Ends” is stuck in my head. I don’t know, what do we do. Seriously. What do we do.

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2696 articles for us.

68 Comments

  1. This is just awful. I’m glad It Gets Better is getting off the ground, we really need it right now.

    It just makes me sick to think that, despite all the progress we’ve made, there are still people ignorant, bigoted and, frankly, cruel enough to drive other people (ESPECIALLY people as young and bright as these) to take their own lives.

    My heart really goes out to the friends and families of the victims, and the victims themselves for all their entirely undeserved suffering.

    I don’t even know what else to say. This is just… truly horrific.

    • It’s really an anger and grief filled feeling when I see these recent events. Those of us who are gay adults need to make one thing crystal clear: it is NOT getting any easier to be young and gay. This generation of youth are NOT ‘getting it’ in terms of being more inclusive. Instead, we are seeing more shocking ways to exploit GLBT youth. Similarly, while many gay youth are coming out, it does concern me when they come out so early that they haven’t yet developed the survival skills most of us develop in early adulthood.

      We need to continue being a lifeline for GLBT youth, but also ANY GLBT person who has yet to come out and (today’s closet) has spent the last decade hiding online. I can’t stress enough: HONESTY…I came out in 9th grade. I was around many well-meaning adults and my family who put my mind at ease, but almost gave me an unrealistic view of what gay life would be. I came out with high expectations, only to find the gay world to be more judgmental, more exclusive and more ruthless than the very kids I wanted to get away from. I have found one boyfriend in the two decades I have been out. The truth for a lot of us is this is a lonely life. Finding a relationship in any city is tough when your choices only come from less than 10% of the population, many of whom are addicts, severely depressed, unwilling to come out, or never developed the adult social skills to have a relationship. I discovered these things ten years after coming out and was miserable. Gay marriage? What good is that when you’ve only met one person in 15 years who wasn’t ready for anything that required hard work and commitment? Why do gay men in particular have no trust for each other and have this superiority complex with each other? Why do our nations ‘gay ‘neighborhoods’ literally block out anyone who doesn’t have lots of money, a masters degree, extremely expensive tastes and housing that only the top 20% of the gay world will ever be able to afford? What does this say about the regard gay people have for each other when we seem to love to exclude and discriminate against each other at every term? I know of NO other minority group that does this. We must change this. The impression I and many others end up with is this: while empathetic, straight people do not understand this degree of loneliness and in many cases hopelessness gay people go through. Worse, very few gay people care about the health and happiness of other gay people because they’re too self-involved or are just too indifferrent towards other gays (attend any pride event and notice how many men look directly over your shoulder at who’s new – and since they’ve already seen you before, well, to hell with you – where do we have a safe place? Non-gays don’t understand, and other gays are too in love with themselves to care about the rest of us. This is why the gay community is so unhealthy. We only care when the issue directly involves us individually rather than all gays and lesbians out there.

      We have two main groups we need to watch out for: these young members of the gay and lesbian community who are being bullied to death, and the adults in the gay world who feel so hopeless and so alone that they have pretty much given up on life and have checked out of any and all things gay. Nobody should have to live like this. I think there are more of us now hiding online rather than coming out than there are out, visible gay people.

      We need to start caring about the gay community as a whole. Stop being so damn selfish. Stop tearing each other down and encouraging substance abuse. Stop making other gay people feel like failures because they aren’t perfectionists or rocket scientists (that’s what drives me nuts about documentaries on GLBT people – we’re always doctorate level educated or CEOs or something…where are the gay people who’ve been torn apart by the recession and can’t find work? Where are the gay people who work at the supermarket or something that doesn’t require a degree? We need to see the whole rainbow of our community and stop implying that if you don’t have doctorate degrees, $2 million condos and a perfect body you’re a nobody. Because you’re only setting up these already vulnerable young gay people for a very rude, miserable awakening 10-20 years from now.

      We need to be kind and supportive of our young people, but the bull crap needs to stop.

      • Hi,

        I just wanted to comment on what Jonathan Lund wrote….. I am 43 years old and what Jonathan Lund wrote sad to say is THE TRUTH!!!!!!! The media in part is to blame for portraying this grand lifestyle of being out or a homosexual. It is not grand at all. No one wants to be this way. I for decades stated that I would not wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy. Finding true friends in this lifestyle is hard. Everyone only want to screw everyone and when they are done, they pretty much wash their hands of you. I know first hand of the abuse verbal and physical growing in the midst of a family who I clearly could see didn’t care or love me. I would like to say that I had it worst than these young kids today. There was not support groups 38 years ago like there is now. I am not saying that young kids today don’t have it bad today, because they do. When I was growing up, things were not as open as they are today. If I could say one thing to every pre-teen, teen, or adult and that is you have to love yourself first… Even when no one else will. I realized it at the age of 42. Hopefully you young kids will learn this alot sooner than I did. I always had low self esteem and thought I deserved to be treated the way I was being treated. Kids today need to learn the survival skills of life at a much early age now. Jonathan is right, everyone needs to be honest with these kids and let them know that you will have days/years when it doesn’t get better. In those times, you need to look yourself in the mirror and say “YOU WILL SURVIVE AND YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!” However, it took for one of my co-workers to share a little phrase with me that stuck with me. “YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!!” I begin to apply this to my life. If I am single, married, or whatever state I find myself at in life. It hurts……But I and everyone else need to look themselves in the mirror and say “YOU ARE ENOUGH” and by finding the strength to press pass the pain of life and hold your head up even when others want to see you down or fall flat on your face, talk to yourself and tell yourself ” YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!” I am single, but don’t want to be single. However, no one wants to be taken advantage of physically or emotionally. Everyone wants to be loved and to give love. I am talking about true love. Not this fake sense of love being promoted today…. In the midst of life’s problems… YOUNG PEOPLE YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! CHOSE LIFE AND LIVE… I LOVE YOU ALL 🙂

  2. We do anything and everything we can to reach out to these kids. And we keep fighting for our rights. and we keep fighting to be seen and accepted.

    we support things like the Trevor project and Reachout and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiQG7nqDViY&feature=player_embedded#! and this – which i got in an email today – http://www.thepinnaclefoundation.org/

    that’s my 2cents. and that comes from someone who has made a somewhat pathetic attempt at kill her self in the past.

  3. I am actually finding this insanely hard to write.
    I can’t even…
    What the fuck is wrong with the world? Why do we feel the need to gratify our own bigoted delusions by destroying the lives of others? Do these… monsters feel validated when the victims of their torment feel so dehumanised that they take their own lives? Do they want these people to die?
    Is it pure sadism, or are just so insecure that they need to do this?

    And why does no one care? Why do the people who are supposed to protect us turn their backs on the people who need them most? Do they think the problem will go away on its own? Do they think, “Oh, they’ll sort it out”? Or do they think that the torment is the victims fault? Maybe they don’t want to deal with it? I can’t understand these people. Don’t they realise that the reason they’re being turned to is because these people need them. They need their support and their help.

    What is wrong with the world, when these kids are being tormented and destroyed, and their teachers and guardians and friends just sit back and watch?

    I need a freaking (chocolate) drink.

  4. What a damn, damn shame! These two losers need to be made an example of – this shit needs to stop. I’m so angry I can’t even write. My thoughts and prayers go out to Tyler’s family & friends. I hope that the other young man in the video is getting the love, comfort, and support he needs right now too – sending a hug out to you.

  5. I have no idea how much Ms. Wei is to blame, as nothing in the news indicated her complicity in the act (although inaction can be equally deplorable in some cases). As for Mr. Ravi, jail time, huge fines, being vilified by the public all do not seem enough for what he has done. He definitely should be made to do LGBT community service to really get to know the people he has hurt, and to be made aware of the incredible evil (no other word fits) he is responsible for. Then hopefully, guilt will eat him alive for the rest of his life. That might begin to come close to a fitting punishment.

  6. I don’t know what to write without swearing like a lunatic, but I need to say something or I will turn into a lunatic. So I’m saying- Say Something, anything.
    Make people hear about these horrible things. Its not nice to talk about and, yes it might make you feel yucky just thinking about them.
    Its been said before but knowledge is power. “We” need a voice, and no one is going to do it for “us”. So chat, phone, email, shout, yell and make sure people know…..(but don’t do anything bad coz then people will just call you a crazy lezbo and not give a shit about whatever you were trying to say)

  7. I’m having a hard time digesting all of this.

    That, and I wish I had a couple million $$ stashed away so I could *DREAM JOB* open and run my own /charter/ school for LGBT kids. Not that isolation is the key to improving this situation, but fuck, at least the kids would know that they’re coming to a safe place, every M-F.

    And I wish the world would locate its missing compassion.

  8. Why isn’t that little bastard (Ravi) being expelled? Or at least kicked out of student housing? Because that’s GOT to violate something. (Other than, you know, common decency…)

  9. You have a good day, come home and check your usual LGBT websites. Since your day was so good, you consider just not reading the bad stuff. Because you know there will be more tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. But it needs to be read, and it needs to be talked about. Thanks for talking about it.

  10. Suicide is such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Yes there are horrible people in the world but I still believe that for every 1 horrible bigot there’s 5 good people, gay or straight that cancel out that bigots hate-filled opinions. It terrifys me to think that gay people, gay people I know, or those I dont know, would consider suicide as a way out, as a permanent way out….it’s not the solution, it never is.

    I wish above all else that someone had gotten a chance to talk to these people before they did what they did, and maybe they would have realised that the moment that they’re living in right now is not the way things are going to be forever….life can start all over again, and you can start all over again, surrounded by new and better people, I did. I thought in school that life would never get better but it did, I moved, I found friends, actual friends….a new family if you will and that’s when my life really began. Yes there are bullying bigots in the world, and if you kill yourself it may even upset them for a bit, but then they’ll move on and forget, but you know what would piss them off and upset them more…to live openly and proudly and unashamed of who you are. Let them have their opinions, what does it matter, at the end of the day you’ll have become a better and stronger person while they will still insist upon being the same hate filled backward pointless bigot they always were, fuck them. I just hope people realise that and no one else decides to take the permanent way out anymore. Sorry to rant but reading such things breaks my heart.

  11. I am moved by this because it seems like even though I’m sure thoughts of suicide happen everyday in the minds of LGBT youth, now because HOMO is in the headlines, and because of inequality in marriage and the military, the media is covering it. I think if anything now is the time we try to make a change. They might actually be listening. What is scary is that at moments when I am most frightened by how I have chosen to live my life openly, I feel worry that we will continue to die in silence. I am afraid that the bullying and intolerance will keep us on the fringe of society. I am worried about the future. I wish there was more visibility. I wish we could overcome.

  12. I wish so much that this didn’t happen, but it did. At least it’s all over the mainstream media right now. Maybe it will reach someone who wouldn’t normally have encountered it. It can’t bring back the people we’ve lost, but it could save lives. That’s something.

  13. #stayalive

    I’ve created guides at my library for at risk teens. Some of the resources for Depression, Self-Harm, and Suicide that I’ve come across are support organizations like the following:

    Half of Us
    http://www.halfofus.com
    A project of mtvU and The Jed Foundation, Half of Us includes videos of your favorite artists and other students sharing how they’ve coped with mental health issues and provides resources and information about mental health issues.

    To Write Love on Her Arms
    http://www.twloha.org
    Non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

    The Trevor Project Helpline
    http://www.thetrevorproject.org
    1-866-4U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386)
    National 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention hotline for gay and questioning youth.

  14. What do we do?
    Shite – I think the GLBT community and pissed off parents grieving the loss of their children – have done a freakin EXCELLENT job bombarding all media outlets with how totally fuct up this shit is. The first step to any solution is to admit you have a problem. America – you have a problem! We need to get you help so you stop killing our kids.
    There’s not any channel you can turn on, no paper you can read right now- that’s not talking about this issue right now. No GLBT kid is safe from news that we are out here, we are their family too, and we will be there for them – there’s hope. Imagine discussions that are popping up all over classrooms right now … Teacher staff meetings addressing anti gay bullying, conversations over the dinner table with the parentals all over the nation.
    And it is up to US – the older queers to help protect these kids and educate everyone about equality and acceptance.
    I think we’re on the right path here – it’s getting publicized. We’re getting pissed and taking action. I think we could use a bit more “bricks thru windows” kinda outrage. No – I’m def not condoning vandalism of any sort. I’m saying I think it’s good that we, as a community are pissed – and we’ve had enough – the end. This shit ends NOW. We need to keep talking about this – and never let it go.

    And I hate to make a low blow here – but – geezuz … How can it be said that queers make bad parents? The people that should not be allowed to raise kids are the ones that would ever make their baby hateful and prone to acts of violence against ANYONE. It’s the freako, religious zealot, breeding parents that are creating and perpetuating this violence. And I don’t think it’s the kids fault – i think it’s the parents. The parents should be held accountable be charged with child abuse for totally fucking up their kid.
    So – when this crap happens – we also need to hold the influences of the bullying child accountable – ie, Parents,schools, churches, political leaders, etc. All these folks need to answer to us and explain wtf they’re teaching kids??? Why are they raising caustic lil bullies?
    In closing – WE ARE on the right path. We need to do more, everyday. So get pissed and get motivated. Do ANYTHING. Talk about it to everyone you know – and don’t stop. Never shut up about it.
    Ps – @ autostraddle team – the song on my mind is Le tigre’s Hot Topic

  15. The people responsible for driving young queers to the point of utter desperation must be prosecuted.

    The people in charge who allow these things to happen, who take no action, should also be prosecuted.

    I’m hoping–encouraging–pleading that Lamba Legal, NCLR, GLSEN–will step in.

    Meanwhile, we have to keep doing our part to convince young queers everywhere that their lives are worth living.

    Beyond that, I just…I don’t know.

  16. When are people going to break through the denial that the cause is systemic heterosexism?

    People don’t typically commit suicide for one isolated reason. It’s cumulative stress and depression. Marginalized youth have a heavier load and bigots feel justified when, say, 40+ Senators filibuster gay rights.

    It just pisses me off when I see comments around the Internet like “it sad whenever a younge person takes their own life whether they’re gay or straight.” Well, obviously. But the refusal to admit that there is a disparity is a refusal to admit that heterosexism actually affects gay people in a personal way in their daily lives.

  17. This is really sad to read. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be bullied to the point of not being able to take it anymore. I love what Lou wrote above and I totally agree…

  18. Pingback: Gay Teen Suicides...

  19. This is so sad. I had a friend who committed suicide in 2007. Although he was in his early 20’s, after reading these stories, I’m wondering if he never quite recovered from high school. One positive thing is how times of adversity bring queers together. It was comforting and inspiring to see how deeply his death touched the gay community. A few of the local bars hosted fundraisers and raised and donated somewhere in the neighborhood of $5,000 to his family to help cover funeral expenses. These young people’s deaths don’t have to be meaningless; we can learn a lesson and move forward in their memory and remember that we are all in this together, and we should focus more on the future generations, to perpetuate a spirit of community and inclusiveness.

  20. As far as I am concerned, Tyler Clementi’s suicide is murder, and the perps are Ravi and Wei. Let them be executed as publicly as they broadcast Tyler to the world extant. And their families should suffer as well. They are scum from New Jersey, the white trash capital of the world, which,thank God, I managed to escape from. I will be following this case, and if Tyler’s perps don’t get the justice he deserves, you can damn well be sure I will have more to say about it.

  21. I KNOW at a deep profound level if I had not repressed my orientation in Jr. High and High school I would NOT have survived. Utah is a very rough political social and religiously oppressive place for a gay person to be living. We have a lot of teen suicide and gay homeless youth here. I repressed until 27 when I was more able to cope with the ramifications. I work in health care and It breaks my heart when I end up with a gay young person who has tried to end their life. What can I say to them but you are beautiful. PLEASE stay. We NEED you.

  22. God. I wish we could just put our arms around everyone. All these kids who’ve killed or hurt themselves. Everyone who feels like they need to or want to. I just want to hold them all until they know they’re loved and finally feel safe.

  23. It was truly a sad story, but I wonder if that “asshole” guy Ruvi really realized how serious the prolem was, he seemed just to have fun of it. That Molly girl was even unfortunate since only because that Ravi went to her room. They are both only 18, stupid ages and often not thinking too much. Now it was raised to the level of “hate crime”… Is there anything behind people’s minds and upset because these two invovled just happen to be Asians, while the died boy was a white? I am always sensitive to this issue since I’m an Asian..

    • you are right, these kids are only 18. what they did was horrible and I don’t to say that at age 18 you aren’t able to think things through, but this is going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
      one day they will realize what they did and they have to live with it. I can’t imagine being bullied like that or having my roommate livestream my sexlife, but I can’t imagine living with the knowledge to have been responsible for someone elses death either.
      this is sickening me, it’s something that has to be known and made public… but somehow I wish I wouldn’t know.

  24. What we do collectively is take all the christians and bigot religions and sue them if what they are preaching is hate then they should lose there tax exempt status. when it comes to them losing their tax exempt status they may stop all this hate. they are causing all this hate.

  25. The only thoughts I keep having are “I wish I had been there.” I didn’t know any of these kids, but I just wish more than anything that I, or someone else, had been there to help them when they were dealing with these things.

  26. In regards to the douchebaggery of Ravi and Wei, is it know whether their acts were out of malice and homophobia, or immature and idiotic amusement? Was this really a hate crime or coincidence that Clementi happened to be gay, and they would have jumped on broadcasting any kind of sex just for the attention and notoriety? In any case, the consequence of their bad behavior were hideously and unforgivably tragic. It sucks so badly that whatever was going on with Clementi and the people at Rutgers, he thought his only alternative to take his die…

    This sucks for all parties involved. I wonder if this lapse in judgement/malicious bullying could in part be attributed to something bigger, a giant void in this digital age culture, where this generation of kids grow up tweeting/blogging and sharing every last detail of their lives to the degree that they no longer have any sense of boundary or morality to know what is and isn’t appropriate to broadcast to the world… I don’t know, I’m not trying to come up with an excuse for their behavior, but it just seems that there may be so much more to Clementi’s case than homophobic bullying, if that was even a factor.

    • I’m almost certain Ravi streamed his roommate having sex more for immature/idiotic amusement than out of some overt malice/homophobia but I don’t think any of this would have happened if Clementi was straight – and that’s a hate crime. And exploiting the societal homophobia inherent of his followers on Twitter, for whatever reason, I would say is a homophobic act in and of itself. Sure, Ravi and Wei had no way of knowing Clementi was going to kill himself but they still acted criminally on at least two occasions and the truth of the matter is that Clementi most likely would not have seen justice served if he continued to try to take his complaints to his RA, much less a DA. A part of me hates to wonder if that was what was going through his mind in the hours preceding his death.

      From the NY Times:
      “In his posts last week, Mr. Clementi appeared offended and unsure of what to do, but also logical and circumspect, even employing a bit of humor. ‘Revenge never ends well for me, as much as I would love to pour pink paint all over his stuff … that would just let him win,’ he wrote on Sept. 21. “

  27. I’m a student at Rutgers, where Tyler went. I am absolutely appalled by the actions of Ravi and Wei. I did not know Tyler personally, but I really wish I did.

    Rutgers is a great school. We have teachers that are LGBTIQQA liaisons, various LGBTIQQA groups, and a center on one part of our campuses that is a safespace full of books, internet connection, and free food. While we are able to have a large enough student population to have these things happen, we’re also simply too large of a school to reach out to every single student, especially if they’re scared to be out/don’t know who to turn to/don’t even know where these facilities are, simply because they’re a freshman- a baby, really.

    It’s very unfortunate that the actions of Ravi and Wei resulted in this. While a lot of people are calling for this to be a hatecrime, I think this is just a general freshman error that could have been prevented if there was more communication between Clementi and Ravi, or simply that Clementi had more access and direction to the various facilities we have on campus.

    All I am asking the general public is to try and not make Clementi into the LGBTIQQA’s martyr, but have all of these boys be examples of how society needs to tell all the kids they deem “normal” that you know what? There are people not like you. But at the end of the day, they want to be treated well, too. Don’t be a dick and do something that can result into such a horrible thing. It’s not fair to the victim, it’s not fair to the family, it’s not fair to the friends that are affected by it.

    Sorry for the rant, I’m just trying to put my emotions into a somewhat coherent thing.

  28. This is nauseating. I hate how lgbt youth are treated today, and if anything it’s harder to be gay now. I go to a school that was specifically created to celebrate the diversity of our boro, and the word faggot is thrown around like its perfectly normal. It’s no wonder I feel unsafe even thinking of coming out to anybody there! It scares me even more that it’s happening across the country, and it makes me want to make a huge pillow fort and keep the whole lgbtq community in it until pride next year.

  29. i just dont even know what to say. the hole in my heart and mind just keeps getting bigger from all the hate. this is why i drink, granted, not the only reason, and i know its not acceptable, but its (so far) better than slitting my wrists. i feel so so truly sincerely sorry for these youngsters. they havent even begun to really live their lives. i just dont even know. i love you all and those douchenozzles need to burn in hell for what they did.

  30. I get the goosebumps when I read these stories. I also get the chills when I re-read Ravi’s initial tweet that ends simply with “Yay.” Does ANYONE believe that’s not 100% sarcastic? What a fucking creep. Grow up. He knew what he was doing was wrong, he should be punished to the fullest legal extent and be kicked off campus.

    I want to find a job where I can just hang out with young gay kids after school and keep telling them to hang in there, to tough it out against the absurd abuse that they face, and to show them that there is a loving, supportive community of people out there just waiting to bolster your spirit. My heart truly aches for these young men.

  31. I was one of those kids. The only reason I didn’t kill myself is because I was convinced I could fight it, and that it was a stage I was going through and that I would eventually become straight. I eventually realised that this will never happen (by then 18) and thats when the depression really hit home and entrenched itself into my very being. I now take pills for it. All because not a single christian told me that the bible doesn’t actually condemn us to hell, and because the only person to tell me that it might be acceptable in society (my dad was a pastor, and so I was convinced everyone in the world was christian) was the first guy I had sex with.

  32. I think it is absolutely disgusting what happened to the boy that commited suicide for his sexual preference.What has happened too FREEDOM, I thought that is why we love too live in this great country of ours.

  33. The sad part is I think it’s becoming a bad idea to send kids away for college in dorm. Kids don’t have the ability or the strength to stand up to this world of stress and ridicle. And many times, parents don’t either. The sad part is, some parents take part in ridiculing gay people, and thus teaching such behavior to their children. And where was the school? Cashing in on the money it taks to go to such schools. If I’m paying big money to go to a University, it better not be lenient on the behavior of the students. ut some students think it’s the best part of college life, is pranking students and doing out-of-the-box stuff.

  34. Friday night I was at a Jimmy Eat World concert, and when they played “Hear You Me” I couldn’t help but think of all boys this week, and my wish for them.

    “On sleepless roads the sleepless go, may angels lead you in”

  35. Pingback: They need to know: It gets better | gaelick

  36. I came across this as I’ve seen plenty of ad’s recently about gay youth, suicides etc. Then I came across this, my heart pours for the families that have lost a child to something that could of been preventable. I cant even imagine what state of mind tyler and seth must of went through, that the only way escaping there problems was suicide! It disturbs me what they must of encountered.
    Now what happened with tyler it must of been humiliating, the two student filming him with another guy and broadcasting it. Dahrun and Molly don’t deserved to be killed, burnt or whatever you have to say evil, to put it into perspective they did something truly stupid and immature and completely humiliating, that if it happened to me I would hate them, BUT we are human. This is human nature, we are horrible, evil, selfish, kids, teenagers bullied, raped, killed everyday, believe it or not the human race.. we’re not that great. The only reason these incidents happened was because there friends and relatives, no one was there to hear and understand them, then these terrible deaths could of been prevented. We only understand when someone actually kills them self, then we get the message.

  37. And here we are … another suicide in Rochester Hills, Michigan. A 19 year old student of Oakland University, Corey Jackson who reportedly came out just a few months ago to friends/family that he was gay. May God rest his soul. Will there ever be a day where we can accept everyone around us, no matter who they are?

  38. that is so wrong if i was gay nd some one did that to me i swaer me nd u would start fighting nd that molly girl nd dat other boii should get life in prison they know what they did so like wtf think before you act before if that was my child i would be in court with u rite now idk wat u gotta say nd like if they gay i dn’t give a damm about that they human being just like us so grow up they should make a law about that i agree with that >>>>

  39. that lil fuck (ravi) and his lil hoe bag of a friend need to b made an example of this is retarded how many kids gotta die b/c ppl are too insecure to deal with their own issues or are too bored with thier own lives so they have to fuck with other people’s TO ALL THE BULLIES IN THE WORLD GO FUCK A DONKEY U INSECURE LIL FUCK WADS EAT SHIT AND DIE U PPL ARE NOTHING JUST A PEICE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY’S SHOE GROW THE FUCK UP PPL THIS IS 2010 EVERYONE IS EQUAL DONT LIKE IT??? THEN GO TO HELL

  40. The kids who bullied Seth Walsh made it clear they wanted him to die, and now they got what they wanted. No doubt they are all absolutely satisfied with the result and given the success of their enterprise thus far, they will now be emboldened to try it again on other gay kids, or straight kids who seem gay to them in some way.

    Incitement to kill is a crime, but is this a crime to incite murder if the murder you wish to take place is of someone else by themself? As a priority, measures should be being taken to find out how many other gay kids these children told to kill themselves. If incitement to suicide is a crime, then without question, those responsible should be charged with the offence.

    A lot of people posting on hate sites like YouTube are saying that all gay people should kill themselves and this no doubt impacts on gay teenagers using YouTube and other bully sites.

    It is reassuring to note however that while YouTube and its ilk are swamped by hate and violence, the thumbs ups and thumbs downs indicate that the majority are not in support of all gay teens taking their own lives as you might otherwise believe from reading the reams of anti-homosexual rhetoric, most of it coming from self-proclaimed Christians.

    While I am sure that Christians as a rule deplore bullying, violence and suicide, sadly the message given out at some of the more evangelical sects run by profiteering hucksters is at the very root cause of holier-than-thou grandstanding ultimately leading to youth gangs feeling justified in attacking defenceless kids half their size.

    Gay kids can only take so much before they come to the conclusion that they have no future, if all it holds for them is universal hate and violence from their home, their peers, their school and their church. To such children, death is a merciful release.

    May they rest in peace.

  41. Pingback: S.O.S Homofobia | Carlos III

  42. i have been bullied in my school and i have told the princibal and all the kid got was i stern talking to but it didnt do no good the schools need to gather all the students in the school and talk about the issues of bullying gay and bi teens cause some teens dont want to speak up they inflict pain on them self to feel somthing that is missing in there lives and sometimes they cant stop and it leads to suicide so i am ask if you are one of these teens that cut or anything to inflict pain on your self plz i beg of you speak up and if not to a teacher tell a friend plz and i am 14

    • I’m sorry all this is happening to you. It has nothing to do with you personally, and everything to do with the fact that most schools are prisons where the inmates (students) are treated in an abusive way. I encourage you to drop out of school so that you can (1) begin your education and (2) get yourself out of this abusive situation.

    • Have you discussed with your parents? If they’re not receptive to your plight, or are abusive towards you, then there are other avenues of support. PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays) may have a chapter in your area that can offer solutions that may include shelter. Most major locales should have a Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service, or you could seek this online, but please take utmost care that you’re speaking to a qualified person, given your underage status and vulnerability. The Trevor Project has access to resources, and have committed themselves to addressing LGBT related school bullying issues. They have a Facebook page.

      Dropping out of school is not a sensible option other than as a last resort, unless you can legally leave at 14, but then you’re faced with the fact that you will have let the bullies get rid of you, and thus win, and you will have compromised your own education outcomes. Moreover, the bullies still live in your area and may continue to attack, so they ultimately need to be brought into line. If you’re forced out of school, then I’d still encourage you to further your education, either privately, or by distance education, or through a technical college of some kind, equipped to offer this to young adults.

      Best wishes to you for your efforts in tackling this very serious problem.

  43. Its sad to see that other young people are bullying other youths for being different and not only that there bullying so much till the point they dont want to exist no more RIP

  44. yeah!!!
    i was often bullied for a long time when i was 1st year..
    hhmmnn… they spit on my back, telling me that I am a ass fucker, ugly, stupid, etc.. punch me for no reason. they do negative things to me(its like hurting!not that other disgusting stuff.)
    and i didn’t tell my teachers, the guidance, and my parents.
    that time.. i feel so depressed , i lock myself in my room, and the most worst.. i cut my self everytime they bully me.
    and so on, i tell it to my mother about the my classmates treat me.
    but i never ever ever try to commit suicide.
    because i know.. committing suicide is like killing your parents and those who loves you .

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