We’ve talked about how to interpret the placement of your Moon sign, your Mercury, and Venus, planet of love — now it’s time to talk about Mars. Mars, the planet of action, helps us assert ourselves. It helps us go after what we want. Mars is our individuality. I want. I need. I desire.
Mars is our daring, our energy, our drive.
To oversimplify, Mars is also how we fight and how we fuck. It’s where we expend yang energy. It’s how we chase, how we pursue, how we instigate.
In our culture, if Venus is undervalued and neglected, Mars is often perverted: by toxic and hyper-performative masculinity and machismo, by a culture of gun violence, of rape and sexual violence, of colonialism, of an (in)justice system. Mars is the god of war, and we see their energy everywhere, in every news cycle. Destruction — Tower energy of the Tarot, if you will — is a vital component to any cyclical process, but war and destruction and tearing down without respect for human dignity, or the dignity of the self, lays waste to what it touches, leaving trauma in its wake.
What is Mars if it is all fight with no dignity?
Mars is where we dig deep in order to fight for ourselves and for those (and what) we love and value.
Mars is where we find our courage.
A note on compatibility: When it comes to synastry, what we really look for is Mars matching with a partner’s Venus sign. The most potent synastry comes when your Mars and your partner(s)’ Venus is in the same sign, but having Venus and Mars in the same element (e.g. both fire – Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) is also pretty smoking! Reason being: Mars is yang, Venus is yin. Mars is sex drive; Venus is love and romance and wooing. And we all have both in our chart, with different expressions and strengths.
Remember that ultimately, this series on compatibility is about empowering you to better understand your needs as well as those of your partner(s). Any particular grouping of self-aware, emotionally engaged, conscientious, communicative people can make a go of it. Astrology isn’t a didactic ideology to be used to batter us into the idea that we can’t or shouldn’t partner with certain kinds of people “because” they’re a certain sign; rather, it should be used to help us better get to the root of our own self-expression.
Mars is happy in Aries, the ruler of the fire signs. Aries is the warrior in the front lines. Mars in Aries is decisive, impulsive, aggressive. You know what you want, and you’re going to get it – no matter the cost. Just remember to respect people’s boundaries. While folks appreciate your passion and forthrightness, checking in is vital.
How you channel energy: You’re take charge, take no prisoners. You have a thought, or a feeling, and you’re out there, going for it.
How you ask someone out: A little less conversation, a little more action. You’re bold, dominant, and no bullshit. You can’t stand not having it all out in the open. You’re ready to risk it all.
Let’s talk about sex: You can’t get enough, and you’ve got the stamina for it. It can be challenging to find folks who can keep up with you. For you, sex is recharge: it helps you connect to your body, helps you connect to other people. However, it’s not necessarily intrinsically tied up with your emotions.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Janet Mock, Angelina Jolie
You might be slow to anger, or arousal, but you know what others may not — you’ve got stamina for days and are sensuous as hell. You’re also extraordinarily stubborn in the boardroom and bedroom so, you know. Buckle up.
How you channel energy: Thinking it through. You’re thoughtful, and you like to have a plan for how you approach a situation — whether it’s a conflict at work or a romantic prospect.
How you ask someone out: You can be direct (Taurus is earth energy, after all), but you also know that slow and steady wins the race. Think the tortoise and the hare. If you hold your ground, you know you’ve got a fighting chance. The key is to actually make an effort, Taurus.
Let’s talk about sex: Your patience and sheer tenacity works to your advantage in the bedroom. You’re an expert at seduction, at creating a sensory, multi-layered experience. Taurus is ruled by Venus — and it shows.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Ellen Page, Queen Latifah
Was that debate flirtatious or for someone’s evisceration? It can be so hard to tell. Words are your weapons, and your seduction tactic. You require variety and stimulation; boredom — in any arena of life — is anathema.
How you channel energy: Words are what you wield. They’re what you reach for when wooing; they’re what you reach for when you need a weapon. You cut to the quick with a well-placed line.
How you ask someone out: Woof, but are you charming and witty. You instinctively know how to read the room. Whether it’s using a line from someone’s favorite movie or doing it up with clever word play, you’ll find a way to turn their head. (The key, of course, is that you don’t always do so well with people who can’t get on your wavelength.)
Let’s talk about sex: Dirty talk? Yes, please. Communication in bed is probably something you like giving and/or receiving.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Sara Ramirez, Samira Wiley
The key to unlocking your sex drive? Your emotions. You’re deeply protective and far more sensitive than you’re comfortable letting on. You can also hold a grudge like nobody’s business. You love deeply; you hurt deeply. You don’t let shit go. You’re in it — no matter what it is — for the long haul.
How you channel energy: By taking care of those around you.
How you ask someone out: You prefer to let things unfold slowly, over time. You trust your intuition about people, and you don’t feel a rush to move things along. You would rather take an indirect approach.
Let’s talk about sex: You can do casual sex, of course, but for you, the best sex comes within partnership – real partnership. In order to truly be intimate with someone, you have to let the drawbridge down – and that can take a while. That’s okay, babe. Don’t rush it. You know that the mind-blowing passion is worth the wait.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Hayley Kiyoko, Tilda Swinton
You’re confident as hell, and you know that’s sexy as hell. You’re invariably a high achiever, because you’re always on — and you, unlike so many others, delight in being “on.” For you, all the world’s a stage, and you know exactly what strings to pull to get what you want.
How you channel energy: By performing. With you, the challenge is asking what you really want, and where your motivations are really coming from. You can charm your way in and out of any fight or flirtation, but what will really serve you?
How you ask someone out: Do you want to ask them out, or do you want them to ask you out? You can go either way, and you can arrange the production so that it happens either way, too. And you know it. And that’s hot.
Let’s talk about sex: Let’s be real: you like to be worshipped. But you also have a playful side that’s rarely appreciated, and partners who can tap into this side of you — and who themselves can rock with that — are key to helping you let loose.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Kate Moennig, Kehlani
Your cool, intellectual exterior belies your proclivity for strategy (and predilection for kink). You know, better than most, that the devil is in the details, and you know how to play your cards close to your chest. You’re hard to read, and nigh impossible to predict.
How you channel energy: Planning. Wellness practices. And probably a not insignificant dose of organization and cleaning.
How you ask someone out: Grand gestures? Not your thing. You make your move thoughtfully and quietly — but powerfully.
Let’s talk about sex: For you, it’s all in the attention to the small things that so often go unnoticed and neglected. That small sigh, that quick brush against a thigh. You’re keenly aware of your lover’s body in a way that they probably have never experienced before. Oh — and you’re going to do anything you can to elicit those responses. (Anything.)
Celeb Doppelgangers: Tessa Thompson, Evan Rachel Wood
Mars can have a tough time in Libra, which craves harmony and balance. But you’re a natural diplomat, and you’ll charm the pants (or skirt) right off someone. You fight fair, and you take you time deliberating, in both fight and flirtation.
How you channel energy: By keeping the peace. This doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to take a stand for what’s right — far from it. But you believe in establishing harmony in your life. Keeping a level head. Pleasing conversation. Beautiful surroundings. Establishing balance.
How you ask someone out: Let’s be real: you prefer to be asked out. Or you arrange the situation in such a way so that they ask you out. You’re so charming, this isn’t that hard.
Let’s talk about sex: Aesthetics are foreplay. You enjoy beautiful surroundings and a sensuous lead-up – a good dinner where you’re all well dressed; a romantic bedroom setting with candles. It’s the little things.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Janelle Monae, Kate McKinnon
Ruled by Mars, Scorpio — like Aries — is where Mars finds its height. But whereas Mars in Aries is the warrior on the front lines, a bit rash and impulsive (if extraordinarily powerful and fearless), Mars in Scorpio is the spy. All strategy, all stealth. Mars in Scorpio will wait you out. Out think you. Out play you. Outlast you. As Theresa Reed says, never go to war with a Mars in Scorpio — you’ll lose. If wronged, you never forget. And you’ll take years to get even.
Oh, and when it comes to sex, nobody does it better.
How you channel energy: You’re single-minded in your passions and pursuits. Productive, obsessive, possessive — you know how to get what you want.
How you ask someone out: You are the type to drop hints and work your way up to the actual ask, but the key for you is to remember: be direct, and don’t waste your time on those who can’t meet you on your level.
Let’s talk about sex: When it comes to the bedroom, no one matches your intensity. Also? You’re up for anything. Basically, you’re an ideal playmate — if you let your walls down and are willing to be really vulnerable.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Laverne Cox, Lena Waithe
Sagittarius energy always wants to roam, and paired with Mars, this makes for an extraordinarily active person, whether with fitness, sex, mentally, career wise — you’re the person who, like the Hamilton song goes, is never satisfied. You’re always on the hunt for the next adventure; the challenge is to enjoy the present conquest, the present hill.
How you channel energy: You need to spread your wings. Like Gemini, your opposite sign, you require freedom and variety in romantic adventure.
How you ask someone out: Bluntly. I want you, do you want me? If so, great. If not, you go your way and I go mine. This is a very take no prisoners, no hard feelings placement. You’re very blunt and very public – but not in a showman Leo or Aries type way; it’s just a very honest, why would we hide this? way. The celeb doppelganger couples are great examples of committed couples with this placement.
Let’s talk about sex: You’re an adventurous, playful spirit with a lot of passion who is honest as hell and up for anything. It’s important to you to find partners who can match your energy – and who value it.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Holland Taylor & Sarah Paulson, Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi
When you decide you want something (or someone), you are unyielding. This means, of course, that you dominate whatever field you’re in. Your biggest turn-on is success — your own as well as that of others.
How you channel energy: Productively and obsessively. In earthy Capricorn, the sign that wants to build, Mars, the planet of action, is exalted. Like Mars in Scorpio, you have a tendency towards fixation and workaholism, and you require partners and playmates who understand this side of you. Of course, when that energy is focused on them, more’s the pleasure.
How you ask someone out: Directly. You have approximately zero time for bullshit. You’re busy.
Let’s talk about sex: When you’re in the mood, or in a new relationship, you can go all day, all night, anytime, anywhere. But when you’re focused on work, you can also go without. You love sex, but it’s really about what’s occupying your mental energy at the moment.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Tig Notaro, Sue Perkins
Think Professor X. You’re already ten steps ahead of everyone else, literally and figuratively. That fight with your partner they just now saw coming? You had it in your head ten minutes ago. You’re already on to the makeup sex.
Also? You need freedom, love fighting for a cause, and adore a good challenge.
How you channel energy: Intellectual stimulation. Curiosity. Social engagement.
How you ask someone out: You are an expert at playing it cool, at asking folks out without seeming too emotionally invested. (You’re also probably pretty comfortable at sliding into folks’ DMs.) But why are you so detached, babe? What do you have to lose by showing your hand every once in a while?
Let’s talk about sex: Experimental and open-minded — that’s you. Sex is about exploration, and you’re all about discovering what turns your partner on. Every evening (and morning) presents the opportunity to learn something new.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Rachel Maddow, Kristen Stewart
You’re the definition of “lover, not a fighter.” Sensitive to conflict and deeply romantic in bed, you’re the person who could, very honestly, say that all you want is world peace. You can be prone to escapism, but at your best, you’re dreamy and magnetic. The ultimate romantic.
How you channel energy: Through touch, through just being. You’ve got an otherworldly touch to you. You’re uncomfortable with conflict, in part because you take in the energy around you, and you can feel others’ anger on a deep level. Cultivating boundaries and learning to articulate what you need will help.
How you ask someone out: With a glance. With touch. With energy. With words, of course, but you’re all about the nonverbals. You know how to project yourself across a room.
Let’s talk about sex: You’re into deep, soulful intimacy, even with casual partners. You don’t ever not give all of yourself — and that’s sexy as hell.
Celeb Doppelgangers: Stephanie Beatriz, Lea DeLaria.
Here’s How to Do It Yourself
There are many places you can go, but to do your own chart, go to astro.com. To get the most accurate chart, you need your exact time of birth in addition to your date and place of birth; however, you can still do a chart without a time of birth.
If you’re an app person, I would recommend Time Passages, which provides an incredibly detailed breakdown breakdown of your chart with daily horoscopes as well as your transits and progressions (this will make sense to the more advanced astrology folk among you). It also gives you the opportunity to save other people’s charts
If you’re interested in starting to research and learn more so that you can interpret your chart for yourself, start with The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need (which is not, in fact, the only book you’ll ever need, but is a great starting point). There’s also a wealth of excellent free content by queer practitioners on the internet, like Chani Nicholas’ horoscopes and courses as well as the queer-centric astrology content at Beth Maiden’s Little Red Tarot. Go forth and learn!