Sorry, Gay Montanans, Your Secret Evil Recruitment Plan Is Blown

Hi, do you remember last week when we told you about how the push to finally take the anti-sodomy law off the books in  Montana was suddenly stalled for some reason? Don’t worry, we found the reason, it was this guy.

"HI, IT'S MY FAULT" -- REP. KEN PETERSON

Ken Peterson is a 75-year-old Mormon Republican Senator (sorry for picking on you, Mormons! It would be easier if you weren’t behind virtually every major piece of anti-gay legislation!) who’s behind the blocking of the bill that would finally make gay sex not illegal in Montana. (There’s also a major budget crisis going down in Montana, but that’s probably not a real concern or whatever.)

So considering that the Supreme Court sent a pretty strong message w/r/t anti-sodomy laws with Lawrence v. Texas, what’s Peterson’s reasoning? Well, since Lawrence v. Texas concerns private consensual acts between adults, Peterson argues that Montana’s anti-sodomy law could still be useful in policing public gay sex, which I’ve really never heard of being an issue in Montana but hey, what do I know. I mean, Rep. Peterson seems to have thought A LOT about this eventuality, so I’ll defer to him:

“In my mind, if [gays] were engaging in acts in public that could be construed as homosexual, it would violate that statute,” the Missoula Independent quotes him as saying. “It has to be more than affection. It has to be overt homosexual acts of some kind or another… If kissing goes to that extent, yes. If it’s more than that, yes.”

It’s great that someone in a position of authority has finally thought this through so for the safety and wellbeing of the straight people of that fine state. Because that’s Rep. Peterson’s true motivation – in case you thought he was just a homophobic, uptight old white man who is skeeved out by gay sex specifically and therefore feels like it should be DOUBLE ILLEGAL to do in public, even more so than it already is to have any kind of public sex even for straight people – well, he’s actually here for the good of the people. Because when you kiss your girlfriend at the train station before she leaves for the entire semester or whatever, you could RECRUIT SOMEONE! Maybe even by accident! Who f*cking knows!

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“Homosexuals can’t go out into the heterosexual community and try to recruit people, or try to enlist them in homosexual acts,” Peterson says. He provides an example: “‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

Aside from the unintentional spit-take level hilarity of that statement – or from the REALLY GLARINGLY OBVIOUS logical fallacy that watching straight people shove their tongues down each other in the Hallmark card aisle of CVS hasn’t turned anyone here straight yet – this is a very scary and sobering statement coming from an elected official. It seems very unlikely to ever become a reality – “”The statute will not be enforced as written—ever,” [Larry Epstein, vice president of the Montana County Attorneys Association] says. “We take our marching orders not only from the legislature but from the courts in which we appear” – it’s still pretty insane, no?

It’s a very special time to be in American politics, and we’re happy for Rep. Peterson that he’s really exploring all of the absolutely ridiculous causes that you are apparently able to champion with a straight face in public office while state public schools are in danger of losing funding and the issue of government-sponsored health care is completely up in the air.Really, round of applause for Mr. Peterson, right?

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1126 articles for us.

23 Comments

  1. “‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    I’m pretty sure this is the definition of ‘Shane.’

    Like, actually.

  2. This made me sad, and then I read this quote “Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.” and it almost (ALMOST) made me forgive him for his ignorance. The whole thing is so crazy, however, it’s laughable.

  3. Once again lesbians are ignored because we, apparently, don’t gross out the religious right as much as gay men.

    But really…jesus. This: “‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.”

    Who would ever say something like that unless it was 1.) a joke to a close friend. 2.) you were really really drunk. (I have done both…usually at the same time.)

    I think I have to do another blog now…all about that one sentence.

    • Yep, once again lesbians are ignored because the sex we have as thought of by the general idiot hetero population is not real and it’s like unicorn rainbow pancakes and therefore can’t actually harm anyone because there’s no penis involved and without a dick you can’t get laid no duh who ever heard of finger banging or oral lalalalala.

      sigh. how much you guys want to bet THAT EXACT PICKUP line was used on him and then the guy informed him that this was really just meant to be a one night no biggie kinda thing, dumped him and broke his little heart (yet did not quell his raging hormones) and now he’s a big raging homo closet case who is angry and throwing a temper tantrum via state legislation

    • In continuation:

      “I don’t know about that I have never engaged in homosexual acts before.”

      2 mins. later (film time)

      “Yes. Yes. You know you like it. You like these homosexual acts don’t you. Say it. Say it. Oh baby. Oh baby.”

      to be continued…

    • Oh my Gods, don’t give them any ideas! You know some people would completely criminalize all non-procreative sex if they thought they could get away with it.

      Also:
      “‘Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let’s go in this bedroom, and we’ll engage in some homosexual acts. You’ll find you like it.'”

      This makes me feel so, so much better about my lousy flirting skills! Just yesterday a really cute girl at the natural foods store was totally flirting with me and I was panicking and didn’t know what to do because that never happens to me. But apparently it could be worse!

  4. Um, I’m pretty sure there are public decency laws that equally prohibit gay public sex and straight public sex. Not that there’s any logic to this man’s argument besides homophobia.

  5. He kind of makes me want to throw up.
    But I might throw up rainbows and he wouldn’t like that. Especially not if it was in public… Wouldn’t want to recruit people or anything.
    But really, this makes me want to cry.

  6. At the upcoming worldwide gay convention that we all meet at once a year to discuss our nefarious plans for world domination, I am going to suggest we put the phrase “You’ll find you like it” on the Official Seal of Homosexuals. I would appreciate your votes in favor of this proposal.

  7. I guess some people know exactly what the definitions of “right and wrong” are…? This entire ordeal sickens me. Being a Missoula, MT girl, by far the most liberal city in the state, seeing THIS be the biggest concern of each and every day at our state capital makes me lose all hope for ANYONE to find equality. Why not propose a bill to make it illegal to hold hands, say hello to a fellow passerby, or help an old woman across the street? Wait, can’t do it, I might be luring her into some perverted gay sex trap??
    Let me help you out, Representatives…Japan was nearly wiped off the face of the earth, thousands are dying from AIDS and starvation daily, our econonmy is absolutely worthless, but the issue that worries you MOST right now is that me giving another girl a kiss in public will ruin our great state/country’s values and morals? Absolutely mindblowing.

  8. “the REALLY GLARINGLY OBVIOUS logical fallacy that watching straight people shove their tongues down each other in the Hallmark card aisle of CVS hasn’t turned anyone here straight yet”

    I don’t know, maybe it could. Maybe homos just don’t spend enough time in the Hallmark card aisle to give it a chance.

    Also, “enlist” in homosexual acts sounds like a serious commitment that might involve uniforms. Do my homo acts still count if I haven’t signed any paperwork before hand?

  9. You know, I don’t get this. Really. I can understand people thinking it’s weird for two guys to like kissing (because this law is about Men thinking it’s evil for Men to have sex together, I don’t think they care about women as people with desires let alone women who don’t desire men) because I think it’s weird for straight girls to like kissing men. But that thought doesn’t upset or disgust me or make me want to “recruit” other women. I just can’t believe they care that much about what two consenting adults do when the wrold is going to hell for so many reasons having to do with “straight middle aged white men” screwing things up.

    That pick up senerio is hilarious, geez that woouldn’t even “recruit” the star quarterback and the (straight) head cheerleader to hook up. Do they really think straight men are so easiily persuaded to have sex with another guy? If so then maybe they need to examine their own sexualities more closely. Then again this is the kind of gay bashing politician that ends up resigning after being caught with a teenage rent boy, right?

  10. Wow. If Rep. Peterson can be seduced by that pick-up line, he needs to get out of the closet asap. Sir, most people aren’t queer and they have not particular desire to engage in homosexual activities, so there’s no chance of them being recruited (sadly…). If that’s not the case for you… try it, you’ll like it!

    Also: are they going to make same-sex public flirting illegal in Montana too? In the scenario he cited the sex itself would still be taking place in a private bedroom. Actually, if they banned public flirting, they’d probably become the choice destination for all us super awkward, socially anxious lesbians with zero game. Take the pressure of us a bit. I’d almost consider moving there myself.

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