Skins Recap, just the Lesbian Parts: The Ballad of Naomi & Emily Part One

It’s a Cold Night for a Dope Selling

Down in the nightclub, the kids are busy selling their dope. Emily approaches Naomi in a dark corner because she has a lot of feelings about what just happened outside and wants to explain.

Club 1

Emily: “Thanks for keeping my secret.”
Naomi: “I don’t care what your sister thinks.”
Emily: “I do. So thanks” … “I didn’t take MDMA that night. I just wanted to kiss you and –


Naomi: “You’re gay?”
Emily: “No, I just… I’m sorry.”


Hear that? That’s the sound of poor little Emily’s heart breaking. Naomi does what Naomi does best and walks away, leaving Emily just standing there like a muppet. Muppets are cute.

I’m really digging what they’re doing with these characters right now – Emily’s spontaneity and confusion is totally believable, as is the way Naomi tries and fails hard at hiding her soft spot for Emily.


It’s my party and I’ll wear a mu-mu if I want to.

Emily’s friend Pandora is having a party and everyone’s invited, including Naomi now that she’s straight. [insert Pandora’s Box joke here] Naomi stalls at the front door because it’s a pajama party and she’s too hardcore for flannelette. Emily shows up and casually drops into the conversation that btw, she doesn’t even wear pajamas. I tell people that all the time. It’s so they know you’ll be ready if they ever wanna come over.

Naomily pan party 1
Naomi, feeling the urge to bolt, doesn’t even know why she was invited –

Emily: “I asked her [Pandora] to invite you.”
Naomi: “I thought we sorted this out.”

By “this”, Naomi clearly means Emily’s need to jump her bones, and wants to know if or when Emily is going to come out of her closet. Stop inviting me to parties to try and kiss me, etc. Oh, to be young and gay

Emily continues to deny being gay, claiming that she’s only interested in Naomi’s friendship because they have to attend the same classes. Like Biology. Emily eases Naomi’s gay panic by making jokes about blow jobs and they enter the party under the guise of heterosexuality.

The party, however, is not very fun –

Naomily pan party 2

Now that Katie knows Naomi isn’t a raving lesbian, she extends an olive branch by telling her, “keep your hands off my muff and we’re sorted.” If that wasn’t enough to break the ice, disrobing does the trick…

Naomily pan party 3

The mandatory pajamas are hideous, so everyone gets over their embarrassment by eating MDMA-spiked brownies and dancing half-naked to Bon Jovi.

Girls in pajamas

In addition to a pointy birthday hat, Effy can count ‘pastel pink mu-mu’ as an item she still looks hot in.

Ecstasy, ecstasy, e- e- e- e- ecstasy.

Naomi’s had one too many brownies and wants to know if Emily wants a drink. Emily definitely wants something, and it ain’t pinot grigio…

before first kiss
Emily: “Just give me a fucking… just give me a…”

Naomily 1st kiss

Naomi pulls back after a beat, seeking confirmation that it’s the drugs doing the kissing and not her suppressed homosexual tendencies. Emily assures her that she’s still as straight as an arrow, and Naomi takes this as free license to kiss Emily back –

first kiss 2

When they come up for air, Emily accuses Naomi of enjoying the make out session. this girl is being a little aggressive in her lesbianism, this In return, Naomi accuses her of being gay. Like this –

Emily: “You liked that.”
Naomi: “You’re gay.”

It’s a potentially vulnerable moment and so true to form,  Naomi’s already walking away. She’s so busy bolting and hearing Frou Frou in her head that she doesn’t hear Emily say this:

Emily: “Yes.”

Naomi’s starting to feel a little gay too, ’cause the next thing we know she’s letting Emily straddle her on the jumping castle –

jumping castle kiss

Story of my Life

This is the view that Katie has through the kitchen window. BUSTED.

[Intern X: I’m investing in a bounce house for my next birthday party, if only to make out with chicks in it, looks like fun!]

Vote for Naomi

The next day, Emily waits desperately eagerly for Naomi at the school gates. But rather than sneaking off to make out behind the bike sheds, Naomi decides to sneak past Emily and go and have a smoke and some adult conversation with a teacher. Her priorities are whack.

But hey you know what’s nice? Naomi’s smile –

Naomi smiles

Emily eventually tracks Naomi down and sits next to her, real close like they’ve shared saliva or are both lesbians or something.

naomily assembly 2

It’s a bold move, ’cause Naomi’s no welcome wagon. Some might find it intense, but I adore Emily’s perseverance. She wants Naomi and no amount of ‘tude or cold shoulders is going to deter her from finding out how she really feels.

Anyhoo. It’s time to start campaigning for class President. Emily thinks Naomi should run for presidency, she’s always dreamed of being First Lady. Naomi pretends like she’s too cool for school presidency but you know what? Girlfriend’s just frontin’.

After class she sneaks off to go and get a registration form. Someone needs to tell her that secrecy isn’t the best strategy for winning an election.

When Naomi returns home that day, Emily is waiting for her rather creepily in her bedroom. She’s so convinced that Naomi is President material that she’s delivering the registration form in person  –

Emily on bed

Once again, Naomi is not all that thrilled to see her.

Naomi: “You’re very annoying.”
Emily: “Yeah, well, you seem to inspire it in me.”

Emily offers to help Naomi fill out the form but gets shot down. She storms out, but then storms back in to tell Naomi what she really thinks –

emily busts in 2

Emily: “Just so you know, my first thought when I see you is not ‘I want to fuck that girl’. We kissed twice. It was nice. It’s just nice being with you… when you’re not being a prick, that is.”

Naomi realises that she actually is being a bit of a prick and therefore thinks it would be okay for Emily to stick around after all. ‘Cause lesbian friends will never steal your boyfriend.

I want to draw you a floor plan of my head and heart

Naomily on floor early

The girls are sprawled out on Naomi’s floor, drinking vodka straight from the bottle and talking about the important things in life like lady-loving. This is, actually, the way that we live. Just saying.

Naomi: “I was wondering, what do lesbians do? … In bed -”
Emily: “How do I know!?”
Naomi: “You’ve never – ”
Emily: “No, I’ve never!”
Naomi: “I mean, is it all oils and strap-ons or -”
Emily: “No… I don’t know. We do what we do to ourselves, but to each other. And slightly more aggressively.”

Naomily floor

C’mon now, these girls are already finishing each other’s sentences, someone call U-Haul or cancel the show and lose advertisers already. They spend the rest of the scene gazing into each other’s eyes and repeating the word “oils” until they collapse with laughter. (“Oils” is “how lesbians have sex.”) This whole scene’s too cute for words and I think we can all agree it’s time they find out what lesbians do first-hand. I hear Naomi likes to give hand.

The morning after…

Naomily in bed 1

OMG did they??

No. No they didn’t. The bed-sharing was purely platonic, but rest assured we’re not even half-way through the season yet. I’ll admit, as a 25-year old woman it feels a little uncomfortable willing two teenagers to get naked, but I’m gonna push on. Speaking of uncomfortable, Naomi wakes up with an empty vodka bottle, which is gonna come in handy if she ever needs to justify her urge to reach out and stroke sleeping Emily’s hair –

Naomily touches hair

Naomi eventually gets out of bed, quietly, asking herself “what are you doing?” as she puts her on her clothes. Not being the type to stick around for cuddles, she grabs her things and bolts –

Naomi bolts bedroom


The afternoon after the morning after…

We’re at school later that day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and both girls are wearing unfortunate shades of yellow

Naomily next morning

Emily: “You left early.”
Naomi: “I had things to do.”
Emily: “I got the message, Naomi…


Aww, what a trooper. I admire Emily’s spirit, she’s trying so hard to be agreeable and non-confrontational for the sake of putting Naomi at ease, even though it’s clear that the girl just wants to straddle. But will she really have to manage?


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Founding member. Former writer. Still loves Autostraddle with her whole heart.

Crystal has written 320 articles for us.


  1. aw I heart Skins (even though bba america butchers it!) & this – [ On the brighter side, at least they didn’t name her “Draco.” ] made me LOL

  2. omg how the f*ck did this kid get his little teenager paws on that much pot!!
    13 pounds is roughly the weight of my very fat cat, but I think a pound is about half a kilogram and I don’t understand the metric system or numbers what I DO know is that that immigrant is for sure a drug lord and it might be a bit of a low blow that the black kid has 13 pounds of pot? idk.
    Great article! I might just… watch this show. now-ish.

    • Remember that time I said that the kids needed to shift 13 pounds of weed? I really meant 13 OUNCES. Which’s still a lot of merchandise to move.

      My lack of understanding regarding the imperial system is just one reason why I could never be a British drug dealer.


  3. This has completely made my Friday morning. Thank you. Particularly shots of Effy. Now I have to re-watch it. Again. Twice.

  4. do they really say “MDMA”? really?! that’s like saying methylenedioxymethamphetmine. And why do they measure in pounds. Don’t the english use the metric system too? I thought we were the same! How confusing.

    I love all the screencaps. I’m going to the bathroom to braid my hair like Naomi’s right now. And then i’m going to download skins stat. I’m excited.

    • I think we have just established that any questions regarding drugs and measurements should not be directed towards me.
      I expect to see some photos of your Naomi hair braids on twitter.

  5. I am so invested in this television relationship now, and also simultaneously so bothered by the fact that Emily looks like she’s twelve

    • I know, right? It bothers me a little as well. For part two I may ask one of you young interns to recap the scenes in which they get busy.

  6. Excellent recap!
    I feel the Naomily storyline is much more satisfying than Canada’s equivalent of Palex on Degrassi.

  7. When Skins is on it is literally ALL we talk about at school. It’s just a constant debate of who is hotter and “should Effy be thrown off a cliff?”
    N.B. I fucking wish general british teen life was as exciting as skins, maybe it’s just bristol but my life is seriously lacking in such shennanigans/weed!!
    And do Americans say grammes of weed or what, if not pounds?

    • Maybe you should move to Bristol, I hear kids have so much weed there that you can buy it by the pound.

      Americans sell weed in both grams and ounces. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.

      • haha it is true that certain areas of bristol (college green) always have the faint odour of weed floating around… and its a nice city anyways you should move there! plus pretty much everybody i know has either met or knows someone whos been in skins, or can be seen walking past in the background etc.

    • THIS.

      P.S. True, Effy is rather tasty, but really?! Her actual character/personality bores me. “I’M EFFY, EVERYBODY LOVES ME.” – That’s great, love, but you got WAY too much screen time.

  8. Ah I love Skins and I love this recap!!!!
    I want Skins to be my life; I feel far inferior in coolness when I watch it.
    I would really like to adopt an English accent.

  9. It’s hard to appreciate how pretty Effy is on the show because her character is the worse one and you got so bored with how everybody loved her despite her awful personality most of the time. But seeing screenshots of her shows that she is very gorgeous.

    And Emily was so adorable but I always wondered why the twins decided to dye their hair the same burgandy colour. My twin and I never consulted on hair colour choices.

    • The hair colour decision is strange, huh. I’ve decided that Emily did it first, and then Katie copied. It seems like a Katie thing to do.

      I understand what you mean about Effy. That’s why I enjoy recaps, you’re able to just look at the pictures and pretend.

  10. Nice recap, makes me almost want to watch & filter out the season for their storyline again. Man I can’t wait for next season, it feels like its been forever.
    Effy (whatever her real name is) should be 18 by then so I’ll feel a little more comfortable.

    • I can’t wait either! I’m going to try and recap the next season as it airs in the UK, which will be interesting and a technology challenge.

  11. This was such a great recap, it made me lol. I can’t wait for the rest. I really hope they don’t fuck up the Naomily story when skins comes back next season.

    • I hope they don’t fuck it up either… but also, I’m not sure if it’s Skins’ style to allow two characters to have a long-term relationship.

  12. We say MDMA for MDMA powder which you snort / rub on your gums / put in baked goods or blow up your arse as you see fit. Ecstasy is different as it’s a MDA MDMA mix in pill form – we just call that E or pills and boring stuff like that. I think kids should have to call it methylenedioxymethamphetmine though so that when you can’t pronounce it anymore you know you’ve had enough. I have no idea why I felt the need to clarify that but clarify it I have.

    Also Emily is so supersweet but I think she’s the kind of girlfriend you want when you get older (and she’s older too obvs). When you’re young you fancy the bad girls yea? Or is that just me?

    • I think making the kids call it methylenedioxymethamphetmine is a brilliant idea.

      In the making of this recap it was brought to my attention that few people know what MDMA is, and so calling it ecstasy seemed a lot easier ;) I like to take shortcuts like that.

  13. great blog! just discovered autostraddle. i’ve seen all these episodes but i enjoyed the cheeky play by play anyhow. i can’t wait for season 4!! looove emily and naomi!

  14. This is fun, ‘ere, eh. Thanks for brightening my rainy British evening. This is a brilliant recap, very well done (is it continued somewhere?). I’m english and even I don’t know what pounds/ounces/whatever are, we just grunt a bit at a spotty boy and give him a tenner (£), hope for the best. Actually weed tends to be sold in ‘eighths’ ‘quarters’ etc (of an ounce?)

    Not long now till Skins 4 – and the eventual ruin of Naomily, sob sob.

  15. important news! pandora (the other girl who you failed to mention despite her being a total critter) is an irl gaymo! at a skins party in bristol last night she was making out with a hot redhead all night! exciting times.x

  16. So I may be way late on this, but I thought it would be worth addressing (mainly because i am obsessed with skins):

    “While Emily, Katie and Naomi all know each other already, Effy must have gone to a different middle school or something because she meets the girls for the first time here on the first day of high school.”

    I’ll fill you in on Effy (and her undeniable gorgeosity).
    She’s the younger sister of Tony, who ruled the first and second seasons with his group of friends. In fact, Tony once had a fling with Maxxie, a fellow male (and 100% gay and out) castmate. Tony was, let’s say, a sexually liberated guy, though I’m pretty sure he was just experimenting. He liked to fuck with peoples’ minds.

    There’s Tony on the left, Maxxie on the right.

    Anyway, Effy appears in S1E1, sneaking in from a party the night before. (can be seen doing so here at 1:25- ) She went to a private school, as she wore a uniform. There were a couple of other things that happened with her in the first 2 seasons, teenage rebellion and such, but throughout it all, nobody from the current season except Effy and Pandora were even mentioned until season 3, when Tony disappeared and Effy’s new scene took over the show. That’s where this article comes in.

    Was that a long enough sentence/post for you? Hahaha! I have seen every single episode more than once. Fanatic.

  17. I was just wondering if (now that the 4th season is finished) you planned on finishing your re-cap! I just read the 1st 2 and must say I would love to see your re-capped ending for them!

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