This is a story about the family that I lost and found and almost found at various The Cheesecake Factory restaurants across America.

“This is the root of the problem with fat shamers such as Kelsey. They are not worried about the health of others, they are angry that they must worry and we do not. They are people who fear becoming fat, have been fat or feel fat right now and can’t stand that there are fat people in the world that seem carefree. Don’t you know you are disgusting!!?!?!? You’re supposed to be unhappy being fat!! That’s why I work so hard to stay thin; because fat people should be unhappy!!! WHY CAN’T I HAVE MORE MCDONALDS??? The reason I know this is because I was one of these people for a very long time.”

Comedy/Sports Editor Brittani Nichols’ A-Camp 5.0 #selfietour

Comedy/Sports Editor Brittani Nichols’ A-Camp 5.0 #selfietour

Catching the Garter at A-Camp 5.0’s Big Gay Wedding (photo by Robin Roemer)

This week I thought I’d light a fire, pour out some drinks and get up close and personal. Let’s take a look at the comics I reserve each month at my local comic shop, shall we?

Alex and Ali taught me a lot at the A-Camp whiskey tasting, girls.

A girl spends 19 days in rural Tennessee with her girlfriend and her family, takes a million pictures, then tells her whole life story in just under 4,000 words. What’s not to love?

There is so much LGBTQ Canadian awesomeness in this post that we can hardly believe it exists (there’s a PLAYLIST, even!), but that doesn’t mean we don’t need some more Canadian feelings from you.

“I may be preaching to the choir here, but please, everyone, go and buy this comic, go and preorder this comic, go and tell your friends about this comic, go and spread the Lumberjanes gospel.”

“13. I’d tell her that I always wished I had an Easy Bake Oven and she’d tell me she conveniently still had her Easy Bake Oven and we’d see all the different adult cuisines we could make from it.”

Tony has a bandana, so he’s all ready for A-Camp 2015!

Really? You pirated Camp Takota? Whatever happened to supporting independent media, bro?

Now, I come bearing the ultimate gift: a selflessly and tirelessly compiled list of future Autostraddle Pride meet-ups that has all the information you’ll need to hop on this crazy train of life and ride it right into Hangin’ Out With Cool Strangers Or Maybe Event Old Friends station.

Oh, is OINTB’s second season premiering? Let’s talk about that time when Autostraddle sent me and AS Fashion Editor Lizz to the GLAAD Media Awards in New York to do some red carpet interviews and we ended up cuddling with the cast of Orange is the New Black.

A-Camp Sex Tent

Pivot TV will be premiering the hit lesbian comedy web series “The Better Half” starting Wednesday, June 4 (9pm ET/6pm PT).

THINK OF HOW GOOD IT’LL FEEL TO RETURN ALL THE LIBRARY BOOKS.

What even is cooking? How does it work? You heat something, and then what? Nope, too hard. Really the only food I feel confident about being able to pull together and consume is some sort of thing I can put into a bowl and mindlessly dip chips into.

President Obama is puttin’ his rainbow mardi gras beads on, Rachel Jeantel has a diploma (bitches!), and also: A BEAR IN A HAMMOCK. IMPORTANT.